Chapter 7 - Dusty secrets
Months had passed, and yet I couldn’t decipher Daniel’s riddle.
What was I even supposed to look for? Bumps in the floor? On the bookshelves?
I scribbled furiously on a piece of paper, trying to find a solution.
Meanwhile, Leo had finished packing up.
He dropped the last box on the floor, sighing.
?So.. You’re leaving for real?? I asked, keeping my eyes on the desk as to not cross his gaze.
?I-I’m just switching rooms.. since you said you needed some space.?
?I didn’t- Ugh.. Nevermind.?
I wanted to say that I didn’t mean it like that, and I really didn’t, now; but back when we talked, I knew I meant every single word.
I hated his way of pampering me, and I wanted to do things myself; what I didn’t want, though, was for it to end up like that.
I didn’t want to lose my best friend, so why wasn’t I saying something to stop him? Why wasn’t I trying to work things out?
Someone knocked on the door.
?...Just don’t disappear, okay?? I looked up at his back, while he was picking up one of the boxes.
He turned with a slight smile, looking at my chest instead of my face.
?Never.?
The door opened, and Brother Julius came in to get the other two small boxes.
He looked at me for a brief second, then picked them up, and went to the door.
?You can move your box on your own, can’t you?? He asked to someone behind the wall.
Something moved outside of the door.
?I’ll leave you two roommates alone, then.?
He disappeared behind the wall, with Leo following him.
From the door, appeared a black ponytail and a pair of amethyst eyes.
?M-Max?!?
I fell on the ground with my chair.
?Damn, you’re loud..? He came in with his box, kicking the door shut.
?Questions later. I need to get settled.?
The box containing his stuff was carefully placed on the bed.
Three uniforms, a bunch of books, a notebook and some pens: that was all he had. That was Max.
He looked at the shelves and hummed.
he stopped, raising a hand to his chin.
One by one, he placed all of the items on them. In order. Following a precise vision and geometry.
Leo, much like me, had never been one to keep his stuff in order: our shelves were full of items of different size and shape, all of them placed in an order dictated by how recently we had used them.
Max was a complete different specimen: he'd ponder every single item placed to maximize the usage of every shelf.
Books were distributed onto the shelves, as to not put too much weight on a single one. Clothes were put into the wardrobe in the closest spot to his bed, and his shoes placed on the rack with the same logic.
Every item had it's purpose where it was. None of them were there by chance.
Right when I thought he was about done, Max reached into the box to extract yet another item.
It was... A stone. A plain, grey stone, smooth and oval. The size of a palm, maybe a bit more.
As he handled it like the most precious item he owned, a little smile lit up his face.
He whispered to himself, placing it on the lowest shelf, in a spot that seemed intentionally made for it.
He put it down carefully, then looked at it for a while, stroking it with his finger.
Was it something important to him?
Anyway, I was staring too much.Better to mind my own business.
I moved back the chair and got back to my scribbling.
He had disappeared for months, and now, he came back as my new roommate?
That was an odd coincidence... The adults chose the room assignments, so why did they put Max here, of all of the children?
My mind went back to the interrogatory I was put through a few months prior: Was it Brother Matthias who suggested this exchange? Did he want to see how I would’ve reacted to this?
?What are you writing?? Max appeared behind me, looking at the paper like he was trying to decipher a code.
My handwriting was clearly making it difficult for him to read.
"The note!" I got up and went towards my bed, reminding myself the main reason why I'd been looking for Max
?O-Oh right, I’ve got something you may want.?
I pulled out Daniel’s note from underneath my mattress, handing it to Max.
?I wanted to give it to you earlier, but it seemed like you had disappeared.?
?Yeah.. I had.. Things, to do.? He opened the note, then I saw his fist clenching.
?I-Is this..??
I nodded.
?I found it in the Chamber?
A tear flowed down his eye, despite his clear efforts to hold them back.
?I-I should’ve checked… I almost blew his efforts? His voice cracked, and his fist clenched tighter around the note.
?..Are you okay??
?Yeah...? He dried the tears with his robe, then looked at the paper.
?Tell me what you’ve found.?
I spent the following ten minutes explaining what I had accomplished so far: a pile of excuses, theories and little to no certain information.
Hearing it from my mouth was quite humiliating, but I had to admit that I hadn’t been able to do pretty much anything.
?That’s..?
?I know it’s not a lot, but the library is always crowded and-?
?To be fair, that’s much more than I had expected.? He looked at the chart I’d been scribbling over, fascinated.
?How did you manage to map the whole first floor??
?I just have a good memory for places.. I guess?? That unexpected compliment threw me off guard.
Wasn't it something anyone could've done?
?..Besides, it’s not the whole first floor: I still need to inspect all of the inner bookshelves for bumps and the floor underneath them?
Max was still glancing at the chart, where I had been marking the spot of every bump, waiting for the chance to actually look for something hidden beneath them.
?You don’t go there in the empty hour, do you?? He asked, passing his finger over the poorly drawn map.
?Empty hour??
He smirked lightly.
?I think there’s something I can do, then.?
Picking up the map, he rolled it and climbed onto his new bed.
?I will start working on it later.?
I stood there in confusion: what did he mean by empty hour?
Max was always so secretive, but now that we had started working together, wouldn’t it have been better to communicate?
?How about you tell me what you are going to do?? I asked.
?You will see when I’m done.? He rolled over, turning his back on me.
Maybe I should’ve let it be? He would’ve done his part, then we would’ve shared information.
?It would be better for me to know, Max.?
?And why would that be??
?We are now working together: if something happens, it is best for us to be updated at any moment.?
Max sighed again, then turned back to me.
?I have access to the library while everyone is having breakfast for, well... particular reasons? He smirked again ?Pretty lucky this turns out to be useful.?
?Soo.. You don’t have breakfast??
He looked at me, puzzled.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
?That's not the p- Nevermind.. No, I don’t; and thanks to that, I have a free hour to scout the library everyday?
He rolled back to face the wall, and stopped talking.
The clock marked it was almost time for the morning prayer. Better get some more rest, before we would have to head to the chapel.
As we headed out of the room, Max stuffed the map I had drawn in his cloak.
We all came out of our rooms as the bell rang, moving towards the chapel as a compact unit.
Our steps were almost as synchronized as those of the Sisters. Too similar.
Max and I were on one of the last lines, where those who didn't want to be noticed mixed in with those who didn't make it in time to get a good spot.
Among that varied crowd, it had become more and more normal to notice kids with bruises or cuts on their bodies.
Connor was one of them: he had been allowed to join us for the prayers and during the meals, but he was still under close observation at night, to make sure he didn't scratch his stitches off.
He would wave at me, from his place at the bottom of the line, then get back to scout around for Bruce - his eyes like those of a cautious hare.
Most of the other injured kids looked like that. And the ones who didn't looked like they were moved around by strings.
Empty, sunken eyes, heavy steps and gazes pointed at the floor tiles: none of them gave off the sensations of a living being anymore.
The open door of the chapel welcomed us in like the cold embrace of a foster mother.
Most kids had taken a spot already.
As expected, the rows facing the central nave had been taken completely. After all, it was where the Sister would've laid her eyes the most during the whole prayer.
Connor chose a spot on the far right corner, while Max squeezed in one of the spaces in the middle.
As I walked around to find a spot, my eyes happened to meet that bushy fringe that covered Bruce's forehead.
He smiled at me. Not coldly, not even in a friendly way. An amused, cheeky grin extended on his face.
"What does he want from me?"
My heart started pumping blood like air into a balloon. My face started feeling hot as my fist clenched.
"Calm down." I started breathing slowly and deeply.
He tapped on an empty spot, as if he was inviting me there.
"Calm. Down" I repeated to myself.
Wondering around with my eyes, I noticed an empty spot in one of the far-off benches.
Nice! Great spot.
Without a second thought, I turned my face from his provocation and went towards that free space.
The sound of Sister Melody clapping her hands together, as she fell on her knees, made the benches vibrate slightly.
?God, may you bless us on this wonderful new day.? We all chanted simultaneously, knowing all to well the .
?Your humble servants are here to enjoy the wonderful gift of sin, until one day we may reach your domain?
The way she conducted prayer was different...
The tone, the movements of her upper body, the... ecstasy in her voice: compared to this, Sister Judy's execution seemed like a read script.
I had heard them both chanting several times, but not even once had I noticed this difference before.
Had it always been like that?
...Probably. I couldn't imagine Sister Judy being this thrilled about something, especially prayers.
The prayer was just about to end. Sister Melody got up and walked to the feet of the crucifix, taking out the book of tales from behind the altar.
Her fingers ran through the pages at an outstanding speed, stopping only to read the title of the interesting stories.
No more than thirty pages in, she found the story she'd been looking for.
?The king's fear? She voiced out the title, slowly and calmly.
My head turned towards her out of habit.
?There once was a king, who ruled with his iron fist over the people. The king was not loved, nor hated. The king was feared.?
Everyone seemed attracted to her voice like it was a magnet.
?The king knew of the weakness of bonds built on fear, so he'd look back at every step he took?
Her eyes lifted from the book, scanning the benches like those of an eagle.
?Step. Look. Step. Look. Every. Single. Time. The fear would even keep him awake at night.?
At times it seemed like she was looking for someone in particular on the benches.
?He cried to God for help, but his heart was never going to be God's.?
She locked eyes with me for a second.
?Out of his great charity, God gifted him a face that would see behind him, so that no one could ever catch him off-guard.?
Her voice got lower, as she looked at someone else.
?The king thrived: he had no more fear, and he had even found a loyal friend in his guard, but his sleep was still disturbed. So he prayed to God, everyday, until he suddenly stopped.?
?The guard had sworn he'd watch over the king, so that he wouldn't need to stay on alert during nights. And so the king stopped seeking God's help, turning his back on the gift he had been granted.?
Her gaze moved to my bench, without locking with mine.
?And so, one night..?
She slammed her hand on the altar.
?...The knight betrayed the king, and took over his kingdom.? She closed the book.
?Now, what do you think was the king's mistake?? She looked at me straight in the eyes.
Several hands raised from all of the benches, but her gaze was still on me.
After a few, unending, seconds, she chose a raised hand to answer.
?He chose his knight over God.? He answered.
Sister Melody started applauding, slowly.
?Good. Exactly. God is your only ally in this world, kids. Trust nobody, aside from those who have God in their hearts?
With that last "warning", she called off the morning prayer.
All of us lined up to get out, as she picked out the ones she'd give a copper coin to.
As our group was going to the dining hall, I saw Max detaching and walking towards the library.
Our steps, now unsynchronized and chaotic, swarmed towards the heavy wooden door.
The sweet scent of biscuits coming from the kitchen was making everyone's mouths water... Everyone's, except mine.
I walked the corridor like a robot. No, more like I was being dragged by some unknown, invisible force.
My hands were sweaty, and my mind so busy that it couldn't even process what was going on around me.
I couldn't shake off the ominous feeling of Sister Melody's gaze on me.
Was that whole story supposed to tell me something?
Her gaze had surely lingered on me quite a few times during the storytelling...
A king. A face on the back of the head. Friendship. Betrayal.
... None of these details made any sense!
"Watch your back." The saying came to my mind.
That was the meaning behind the face on the back of the head, but what had it to do with me?
Well, we were kind of watching our back right now.. Max and I. Maybe-
?Ouch!? I bumped against something and fell to the ground.
?Sorry. Need help?? A hand reached towards me, following the invitation of a familiar voice.
The second I noticed it was Bruce's hand, I pulled back.
?I'm good.? I answered, getting up.
That despicable grin was still printed on his face so clearly that it made me want to rip it off.
?Okay! Okay! No need to look at me like that. I just wanted to be friendly, you know??
?Yeah. Okay.? I turned and tried to leave.
?How about putting on a little show in here too?? He whispered in my ear- his breath warm against my neck.
I flinched, pushing him off of me.
His eyes lit up the second I pushed him. He seemed ecstatic.
Seeing him like that made the rage that was building up turn into awkwardness.
?I don't know what you're talking about. I'm hungry.?
I sat at the first free spot and started munching on the biscuits on the plate in front of me.
Had they always tasted like cardboard?
Bruce had crossed the room after our confrontation, sitting at his usual table, where his minions were already devouring their breakfast.
Wonder how Max was doing in the library... Perhaps he had found something already?
Hopefully my map had been usefu-
My hand knocked over the mug of tea.
?Gasp!? The liquid, which had luckily got colder, fell right on my lap.
I sprung up, wiping the brown stain on my robe with a napkin like I was trying to light sparks.
"It isn't coming off!" I glanced at the adult's tables: someone was getting up.
"More! Faster!" I sat down and increased the speed, hoping that would make a difference. The napkin was breaking into pieces, which ended up stuck to the pants' fabric.
Someone was coming
?Is something the- Oh gosh!? Sister Judy grabbed me by the wrist and forced me up.
?I-I'm sorry... I-?
She looked over at the table, then back at me, and sighed.
?Go change and come back here: you'll clean up your mess.?
As instructed, I ran towards the door and all the way through my room, covering the stain on my pants so that no one would notice it.
As the door slammed behind me, I took my pants off and threw them on the chair.
After pulling out a fresh change of clothes from the closet, I sat on my bed.
My breathing slowed down, together with my heartbeat.
I looked around the room's walls. Only the clock kept me company.
It was... incredibly quiet without Leo. So calm and... empty.
I looked over at his old shelves, where Max's stuff was now placed. They were all so full, yet none of those items really filled the voide left behind by the ones that used to sit in their place.
My heart shrank in a chokehold.
I kind of missed him already. I kind of felt... lost, without him.
But that was what I needed now. Yes, that was what I nee-ee...
A few minutes later, new pants on and back in my spot, I was cleaning the spilled tea on the pavement.
Wipe left, wipe right. I kept passing the rug over the liquid until the pavement looked dry again.
Everyone had left already, and only Sister Judy had stayed behind to watch over me.
Or at least, she was supposed to, before she decided she'd have a second breakfast.
Rugs and mop in hand, I tapped on her shoulder.
?What do you- Oh. You're done?? A few pieces of cookie flew from her mouth straight towards my face.
I nodded, reaching with my sleeve to wipe them off.
She got up and turned to give a quick look, without moving from her spot.
?Yeah. It's good. Go play with the others.?
As soon as I got out of the room, though, the bell rang.
I stomped my foot on the floor, before obediently walking to the classroom.
Everyone had already taken place, but I was able to find a free spot in the last lines.
?Today we're taking a maths test.? One of the Brothers, whose name I couldn't really remember, entered with a huge pile of sheets of paper.
The defeated cries of many of the kids echoed in the halls as we all left the classroom.
?This is crazy! How do they expect us to learn all of this stuff??
?I know right??
They were all complaining about the pace of our teachers, me included: last year, we all could barely count to twenty, and now they wanted us to learn these crazy calculations?
Who cared about finding x's and y's?!
As soon as I arrived in my room, I buried my head in the pillow, still seeing numbers and letters as ghostly reminders of those hellish two hours.
My sheets smelled like clean, deep peace, dangling me like the soft embrace of a mother.
The silence was only making me fall into temptation... A quick nap wouldn't have hurt, right?
Sure, we were in "self-study period", but I could use it however I want, if there was no one to see me.
The door opened slowly.
I shot in position, almost like I'd received an electric shock, just to see Max scoffing at my reaction.
?You can sleep if you want.? He was barely holding the laughter in.
Now that I was seeing him, though, there was no way I could have.
?So?? Did you find anything?? I asked, excitedly.
He shook his head.
?Just a few empty spaces behind some old planks, and a couple of tubes here and there.?
He handed me the map, where he had circled all of the spots he had checked, which were at least one third of the total.
?Still quite a few places to check? I pointed out.
?Yeah. But Sister Melody comes to read every now and then, so it'll take a while to check the spots closer to her without being noticed.?
?Like a few days or...?
?A week, maybe two. Hopefully they won't find it before we do.?
?Maybe I can hel-? I stopped. No way I could've searched while the library was full.
?Just focus on your part: draw new maps, look for new spots, then we'll discuss it whenever we can.? Max dropped the subject and laid in his bed, falling asleep just as fast as a trained soldier.
Going through that tedious week was no easy matter: we were cruising through the possible places at hallucinating speed, growing more and more frustrated, as none of them seemed to hold anything.
The more I scouted around, the more I realized there was not even a single dull nail that we hadn't checked twice already.
After yet another day of unfruitful research, Max and I started losing hope.
?Maybe this place needs to be checked more thoroughly? I pointed to one of the crossed out spots.
Max sighed.
?We checked three times already. Not sure it has magically appeared yesterday, or something?
The weather outside was one of those mildly windy, chill ones. The ones that make your bones freezing.
It was already quite dark, despite it being five in the afternoon.
?...No need to be so sarcastic about it. I'm trying to help here.?
?Seems like you're not doing much lately tho...? He pointed out, tongue sharper than a razor blade.
He was right... But was it my fault that we had run out of places to check?!
?Not that you've been of any help either...? I whispered.
?Come again?! If it wasn't for my special access you'd still be looking for a way to search those spaces, you know??
?What use is there to it, if the spots are empty??
?I can't make the things appear in the wrong place, you know?!?
Our tones were cautiously low, but the conversation was undoubtedly getting heaten.
?And I can't find new spots that aren't there?
As I turned my face away from Max, I noticed the candle we had stolen to light up the room during the night running out.
?Time to get to bed.? I got up and walked to my bed.
?...Leo would've tried to get in my shoes? I whispered.
?...Wait. Repeat that.? Max's tone had changed.
?It's nothing. Goodnight?
?No, repeat it.?
?Leo... He always tried to consider my point of view, too.?
?... point of view... yeah, that's it! Why didn't I think of that?!? He slapped his forehead.
?What??
?I think I found the solution to the riddle. Give me a few days to check.?
And so, our conversation ended.
Then, one day, Max came to me in the middle of the afternoon:
?Room. Now.?
I followed him without any question, as he sprinted through the corridors to our room.
When we arrived, I was panting.
?How can you.. Run like that??
?I walk a lot.? He shrugged.
?Anyway, I was running through the spots I could find this morning, when I realised something: “What if the reason why we couldn’t find these books is that we shouldn’t look for actual bumps?”?
?Huh??
Not look for actual bumps? Then what should we have been looking for?
?Daniel wasn’t really the brightest when it came to explaining things, so he may have used the word “bump” to refer to something out of place.?
He paused, but I could see excitement in his eyes.
?So I looked for places like that and? He placed his hand underneath his bed, taking out a leather covered notebook that seemed quite old.
?found it.? He smiled, waving a strange, slim and worn out book in front of my face.
