Chapter 8 - Novelties from the past
He passed it to me: it felt rough on the hands, and on the cover, chiseled into the leather, were some words: “Gerald’s diary”.
My heart knocked on my ribs. Only once, powerful like a tired fist on the door to home.
…Gerald? Why did the sight of that name feel like a stab to the chest?
My hands became shaky as I handled it. My fingers passed on the cover with the same delicacy of a feather falling to the ground.
The grains of the yellow-brownish pages talked of a finer kind of paper, much more fragile than the one I was used to handling, and much more similar to that of a book.
My eyes widened at the sight of handwritten notes that looked somewhat familiar.
The entries in the diary talked about the daily life of a kid, living in a structure similar to the one where we lived, but with rituals that varied slightly from ours.
Among all, a line stood out: “There is something going on with the Saint Tobias Church”.
Needles struck my brain again.
Thump!
I fell on the ground, rolling to my side.
It was exactly like the last time: The Sain Tobias Church, the pain, the.. Idols?
Yeah, the stone idols!
The pain intensified: it seemed like my head was rejecting that very thought.
?Elias? Elias?!? Max’s voice felt distant, almost as if there were several walls between us.
Then, silence.
…
Whoosh. Whoosh.
Feet steady on the ground. Knife in hand.
Feel your opponent’s intent. Read their mind and predict their movement.
In front of me were only moving shadows: shades of black and grey mixing in a weird, evershifting, human-shaped mist.
?YOU WON’T ALWAYS HAVE AMMO IN YOUR GUNS. A COMPETENT INQUISITOR MUST LEARN HOW TO FIGHT HAND TO HAND, AND KNIFE TO KNIFE.? The priest repeated- his voice getting lower and higher as he spoke, like someone was playing with the volume.
Dodge. Dodge.
Slowly but surely, the mist was starting to feel more solid, like a black stick figure.
Guns? Ammo? What were those words?
The ground, together with all of the silhouettes, were moving like a liquid.
A few details of the clothing and scenery were starting to pop out, but not the faces on those silhouettes.
The blade of a knife passed right in front of my left eye.
My gaze shifted upwards, and suddenly I found myself looking at the armed figure from the ground.
From the… Huh? Why was I not feeling the ground beneath my back?
Now, I was on top of it, pointing a knife to its throat. The ruby red of its blood was the first colour to appear.
My hands felt numb, like they weren't holding anything.
The clapping of a slow applause rang behind me.
?Good job, ?
That last word sounded like it had been censored out by my brain. Screamed, but at the same time whispered.
The scenario changed completely: I was now standing on top of a kid, clearly older than me.
His face was turning sapphire blue and his mouth filling with white, cloudy foam.
I shook the collar of his uniform. His golden eyes filled with tears looked at me helplessly, unresponsively.
My heart was pounding inside my chest, feeling more and more painful as time passed.
I, too, fell on the ground, holding my throat in one hand and undoing the top buttons of my shirt with the other.
As my vision faded, the same military voice echoed in my eardrums:
?AN INQUISITOR MUST LEARN TO WITHSTAND ANYTHING USED AGAINST THEIR BODY. FIGHT IT, SOLDIERS! FIGHT IT!?
His long, golden-decored gown appeared besides me for a second. The muffled sound of his footsteps reminding of his presence while he passed me.
My throat felt like it was forcing itself shut. My lungs ached under the pressure of breaths that were knocking to come in.
The world that had just acquired colour started fading into darkness again.
?Come find me.? A quiet voice said, as I drowned in my own breaths.
The sound of something heavy hitting metal reverbed in the dark.
I heard a step going down a stair, following the brushing of a hand against a wooden railing.
Some indistinct voice tried to make its way through the background.
?El-?
?Come. Come.? The voice frantically repeated the same word.
?Eli-?
?Come! Come!? It got louder. faster.
The steps sped up. They were now running down the staircase.
A panting breath echoed in the darkness that surrounded me.
Then, the sound of a door opening. A rectangular halo of light flashed in front of me.
?CO-?
?Elias!? Max’s voice overwrote all of the scenery.
A slap hit me on the cheek, and I came back to my senses.
As I stood up, my surroundings looked all fuzzy and distorted, just like the silhouettes I had seen before.
Someone was in front of me, reaching for my body to shake it.
His mouth was moving, but words weren’t reaching me.
I could see him clearly now: him, the troubled look on his face, and the lonely tear squeezing out of his thinning eyes. Who was he, again?
As I went back and forth, all of the fog around me dissipated, revealing a room’s stone walls.
?Wake up, damn it!? His voice forcefully tore through the myst veil my mind had dropped on him.
Once again, a slap hit me.
?M-Max..? Finally, I was able to recognize him.
He dropped back on his butt, panting like he had been working out for hours.
?W-What the hell was… that…? He whispered, in between breaths.
I looked him dead in the eye.
?What was what??
His face showed a horrified expression.
?…What do you mean? You just fainted!? His eyes grew wider and wider, like he had just witnessed a murder.
?I… ? Once again, the needle struck my brain, as the images of what I had witnessed just a few seconds earlier paraded in front of me.
?I.. yes. I saw… something.? The pain was getting stronger again.
?Talk. what did you see?? Max urged me.
?T-Training. Knives... U-Ugh! Guns! A-ammo!? I started spitting out random words, as they got painfully erased from my memories, one by one.
Max took out a piece of paper and started writing them down.
?…P-Poison. Convulsions. Door... Open. Rattle… Inquisitors. C-Can’t Breathe! Help!? I dropped down to the ground, holding my throat.
Max dropped the pen and ran towards me with the sheet still in his hand.
?What is going on?!? An adult voice came from outside the door.
Max hesitated for a split second, but he finally turned to the door and shouted.
?Help! Brother Matthias!?
The screeching door flung open, and Brother Matthias rushed in.
In that instant, Max walked away from me, crumpling the sheet in his fist, pressed against his back, to hide it.
The Brother completely ignored the surroundings and just looked me in the eyes, lifted me up and talked to me calmly.
?Breathe slowly, Elias. Slowly.?
For the first time, I could actually see a hint of sympathy in his eyes.
As his calm voice repeated those words, my breathing started to slow down.
He dropped me against the wall, then looked at Max.
?It’s a panic attack. He’ll get better in a second.?
Brother Matthias stood in front of me for the whole time, as my heart started beating more regularly. Maybe it was for that genuine sympathy I had spotted, but his presence didn’t threaten me, this time.
I looked around the room, trying to catch glimpses of that familiar environment.
As soon as I started relaxing, Brother Matthias dropped his shoulders.
?Better, now?? He asked me.
I nodded, feeling like I had just blacked out after reading the diary.
?Go back to sleep. I’ll be patrolling the corridors, if you need anything.?
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As he got out, I noticed Max saluting from a weird position right in front of his bed.
He let out a huge sigh as soon as the door closed, then kneeled and rustled with his hand on the bedroom floor, right under his bed.
When he got back up, he quickly shoved the old diary underneath his mattress.
My eyes opened wide as I realised he had thrown it in there in a hurry.
?He could’ve found that!? I pointed at the diary, while keeping my tone down.
?W-well, he didn’t.? His tone made it clear that he knew damn well he had messed up.
The shock in my eyes talked for me before I could.
?I-I didn’t know what to do, okay? I didn’t want to lose anot-.? He stopped mid sentence, panting.
Huh? Lose what?
?... Let’s go to sleep.? He rolled over to face the wall.
And like that, that confusing series of event became just a foggy memory.
A few days later, we were woken up by a loud knocking on my door.
Max went to open, revealing an unforeseen view: Brother Julius with a big smile on his face.
?As you requested, kids, I’m here for our field trip outside? His tone felt forced; oddly formal, for the Brother Julius I knew.
On a more important note: had we really.. requested that?
I surely did not, so…
?Oh, yeah. I’ll wake up Elias.? Max intervened, before I could ask what that was about.
He came to me and tapped on my shoulder, his breath brushing against my ear as he started talking.
?With all that happened, I completely forgot to tell you. Pretend you always knew.? He whispered.
?…Brother Julius came to get us already?? I got up and stretched my arms, yawning like I hadn’t been listening for the last few minutes.
That was when I saw him: Brother Matthias was standing on his side, taking glimpses at the room, then gazing at him attentively.
He turned his gaze to me, and smiled.
?Didn’t know you were interested in Brother Julius’ job, Elias.?
?I.. Just really want to see what’s outside, to be honest.? I smiled back.
Brother Julius was the hunter that would occasionally go out to get meat for all of us, so it was only right that he would show some of the kids his methods, if they asked him.
Nonetheless, I could spot doubtfulness in Brother Matthias’ attentive eyes: something about Brother Julius picking us was making him suspicious.
His eyes would land on me more often than on the others, but with a different emotion highlighting them.
We all dressed up for the job, and were given some snacks just in case our venture would take more time than expected.
?That’s your lunch. Listen to Brother Julius while you’re out, kids.?
Before turning back, Brother Matthias turned to me.
?Glad to see you’re feeling well, Elias.? Something about the smile he showed me for a second almost felt real.
Twenty minutes later, for the first time, I had moved past the big old oak tree, and through the dark metal entrance gate.
Outside was a weird, weedy field, almost like an old farm that had never been used in decades; and past it, a thick forest populated with pine trees.
The wind moved tall bushes of luxurious green grass, which definitely had not seen human hand for a very long time.
Here and there I could spot wooden poles and stone brick walls: ghostly remnants of old keeps.
Out in the distance, I could even see some rusty metal fences hidden in the tall grass and what was left of a metallic windmill.
Was all of the world outside so… abandoned?
?So..?
Brother Julius raised his hand in the air before I could ask anything.
?Not now. Ten more minutes.? He sped up, turning that walk into a mild jog for our shorter legs.
Once the big bell of the orphanage’s chapel was out of sight, Brother Julius let out a sigh and dropped his things on the ground, sitting down on his backpack.
?Finally out of that fucker’s sight..?
He took out a small flask and drank just a sip from it.
?God.. I hate you kids even more for making me do this? His breath smelled vaguely like the coffees of Sister Julies’.
?It was necessary. If you want us to collaborate, that is.? Max said, in a serious tone.
Brother Julius sighed again; this time, out of pure annoyance.
?Collaborate? What are you talking about?? I asked Max.
?You didn’t tell him?? Asked Brother Julius.
He shook his head lightly.
?Ugh.. Well, kid, you won the lottery and got me as an ally.. Hurrayy? He put his hands up, unenthusiastically.
?So he knows..? I pointed at Brother Julius.
?…Enough? Max replied.
?More than you both might think.? He corrected him. ?Why did you think I gave you that hint, kid??
Of course. Why would he, if he wasn’t trying to help us?
Max looked at me like he was asking for an explanation.
?In the camber, he gave me a hint on how to find the note.?
?Fair enough. No way you could’ve found it otherwise.?
Brother Julius got up, pulling to his shoulder a weird contraption of metal tubes and wooden parts, with a handle attached to it.
?It wasn’t hidden that well.. You should thank God I was the one cleaning, and not Matthias.? He started walking.
As we entered the woods, his steps grew more cautious. He told us to move slowly and make as little noise as possible, but didn’t explain why.
The surroundings were so quiet they almost seemed like a whole other dimension.
My mind started wondering, accompanied by the sound of birds chirping on the tall branches of the pines.
There was so much that was new to me, but one thing stood out the most: What was that thing Brother Julius had on his shoulder?
I pointed at it, opening my mouth to speak; but, before I could even draw breath, he covered my mouth with his hand.
The thing on his shoulder made a clicking sound when he moved his finger to his mouth, signaling me to shut up.
He then took the weird contraption under his shoulder, aimed, and a pile of steam came up from the rear of the tube, followed by a whistle.
An explosion ringed in my ears and all around the forest, along with a blinding fire coming out of the object for a split second, leaving a glowing red hue on the tube.
I instinctively dropped down on my stomach, but something far more noisy fell in front of us.
As I peeked through the tall grass in which I had thrown myself, I noticed a big set of antlers poking through a bush not more than fifteen meters away.
“A deer!” My mind remembered the name of that animal from an encyclopedia.
I looked up at Brother Julius, who had a stern, unimpressed look, examining the carcass to spot any movement.
I got up from the ground and looked as well: he had fallen with his face inside the bush, but the big, bulky body of the animal was still very much visible.
As cautious as before, Brother Julius walked towards the dead animal, looking around like he expected something dangerous to come out.
We followed him, mimicking his every step.
The smell of blood was already tainting the air. Flies had started swarming the open wound of the lifeless creature, which was still bleeding.
Brother Julius grabbed both antlers and pulled with all of his strength, moving the carcass a couple meters out of the bush to examine it carefully.
Oddly enough, I had no urge to look away.
?Alright. You can talk now.? He snapped his fingers in front of me.
It took a second for me to focus again, after witnessing an actual death for the first time.
?I.. I wanted to ask what that thing was.? I pointed at the contraption.
He took a look at his own weapon, then handed it to me.
Its unexpected weight discharged on my spine, almost making me drop it to the ground.
?S.T.S. 31: an old gun they used to give to the soldiers of the Empire. We call it “Estes”?
For some reason, Max and I flinched after hearing the word "gun".
I held it , fighting against its weigh, inspecting it like I knew anything about it.
Meanwhile, Brother Julius’ words were sinking in..
?The Empire?? Max voiced my thoughts before I could.
I gave the gun back to Brother Julius, who put it on his shoulder.
?It's an old story.. And you will find enough information in that diary anyway, so do some reading and spare me the hassle?
The diary? How did he know there was a diary in the library?
He had checked, of course– but why? Was he still hiding something?
I looked at Max and raised my brow; he responded with a slight nod.
?Let’s hurry: one deer won't be enough, and we need to go back before it gets dark.?
The face of the deer and the grass underneath it were completely drenched in the blood that had been spilling from the bullet hole in his skull; the metallic stench had already filled the air.
Meanwhile, the sound of Max puking completed that revolting picture.
The deer’s motionless eyes pointed at me, silently calling out my part in his end, demanding my guilt as its last desire.
My palms got sweaty. Hands started shaking.
One click. A few seconds. That was all it took for a life to end.
I clenched my fists and looked away, recalling all of the times I had eaten lasagna and licked my fingers.
?..Okay. Maybe this is too much for you kids? Brother Julius sighed, taking out a knife from his backpack.
He then handed me a small agenda, which looked at least a decade old, if not more: it was a leather covered booklet of quite a few pages, most of which were written, with tattered edges and strings that looked like they had been coming apart naturally for quite some time.
?That’s a map of the woods in there: the places in orange are traps for hares.?
He then pointed at a place on the paper with his scarred hand.
?We are here, and the map must be read pointing at North.? He handed me a compass, and squinted his eyes when I instantly aligned the map to the compass to read it.
?…There should be little to no blood on the hares: check the traps and bring them to me. And don’t go where I can’t see you, or I won’t be able to save your asses.? He said, not hiding the surprise in his voice.
Looking around to orientate, I noticed the spots were already marked with paint, so it was easy to tell where the traps were, even without the map and compass.
Max was still gasping for air, after having thrown up most of his lunch.
?Are you okay?? I asked, seeing him paler than usual.
?Y-Yeah.. Kinda.? He whispered in between deep breaths.
I handed him the items, since I wouldn’t need them; then explained what we were tasked with doing.
?We can split up, to make it faster.?
He nodded, agreeing to my proposal.
?I’ll need to rest for a second, though..? He passed his sleeve over his sweaty forehead.
Among the tall grass at the feet of a tree, I found one of the traps: It was a branch, threaded with metal wire. Simple, but deadly enough for the poor creature I found stuck in it.
My stomach revolted as I looked at it: my gut tightened, in a heart wrenching torque.
The creature looked like it was just asleep, with its eyes half open, almost as if it could wake up and hop away anytime.
My mind ran wild as I imagined how horrible that innocent creature’s fate had been; it was.. unjust.
I was not the one who trapped it, but for sure it was my fault; it was meant to become my meal, after all.
Holding back my tears, I loosened the wire around the branch, tied the little thing to my backpack, and continued on my search.
I checked a few other traps, noticing how low of a catch rate they had: of the dozens I had seen, most of them were either untouched, or had been triggered without killing their prey.
On some of them, there was still the bait Brother Julius had used: some berries, probably gathered from the nearby bushes and tossed in a precise spot so that the animals would get stuck while trying to eat them.
I started wondering why Brother Julius insisted on remaining on his sight: there was nothing in that forest, aside from hares and deers.
As I was checking the last trap, I heard the roar of water pouring down from somewhere, and I noticed a place, not far away, that seemed brighter.
The world outside was surely full of weird noises.. What was making that one?
No one would’ve noticed, if I went for a brief detour; so why not checking it out?
I walked towards the noise, seeing light seeping through the trees as I got closer, and then I saw it: a small river inside the woods, nearly unpopulated and so.. calm.
The animals had most likely hidden after getting scared by the roar of the Estes.
Washing my face with the water from that river, I was able to pause the unquiet feeling that had been tempesting my mind.
We were just getting food. Sure, it was cruel, but we too needed to eat.
The animals we had found were either dead already or necessary for our survival, nothing more was being taken… Right?
Of course! Brother Julius, if I knew him at all, was not the kind of man to do any unnecessary work.
With the hands still freezingly wet, I washed my face to get back to my senses.
?Fwahhh!? I screamed, shivering from the cold kiss of the water.
The reflection in the water was not that of a killer, nor that of a devil: it was still me.
Clack!
A branch snapped behind me, making me jump back with the knife in hand.
?Are you okay, Elias?!? Max appeared from the bush, carrying a few hares on his back.
?Y-Yes! All done?? I started washing the knife.
?I heard you screaming and came to check.?
?All good. The water is just so cold? I forced a smile out, throwing a bunch of water towards him.
?Hey! Stop!? He took a few steps back.
I did it again, picking up more water with my hands.
Max responded by picking up some mud from the riverside and throwing it back, hitting my face.
?In your face! Literally!? He laughed, completely dropping his doubtful look.
?Oh no, you didn’t!? I made a ball out of mud and threw it back at him.
A few shots later, we got back covered in mud.
Brother Julius just looked at us and sighed ?Guess hunting dead hares is quite the dirty job...?
We kept on hunting for a couple more hours, until the sun started setting, then we all went back to where we came from.
Max and I carried about a dozen hares together, and Brother Julius had caught two boars.
Arriving at the edge of the forest, I smelled blood from quite the distance: it was a horrible smell that resembled that of iron.
Before we could get out, Brother Julius turned to us.
?If you still have something in your stomach to throw up, you better wear these.?
He handed us two blindfolds, one of which Max had obediently taken, and tied around his head.
I didn’t really seem to be bothered by the sight of blood, so I just put it in my pocket and continued walking.
Bad choice.
We got out and, soon enough, that smell intensified; I walked forward to see a pile of animal carcasses, each one of them presenting cuts on each individual part.
I frantically looked for the blindfold, and used it to cover my mouth and nose.
?I’m not a psycho, if you’re wondering.? He said, piling the last boar with the rest. ?I need to check if some of them had begun to mutate, otherwise that fucker would make a scene.?
Mutated? Like the rabbit Brother Matthias had shown us?
So it was true that other animals could end up like that...
?Can’t you eat mutated meat?? My words came out muffled from the fabric.
?Boil it for an hour and there’s no risk, but the fucker thinks that I should go and ask the damn deer if it had mutated, before killing it.. Like I was here to spare his precious little abominations..?
So it was a matter of principle, not something practical, that kept them from using shattered meat to feed us.
He told us to drop the hares with the rest; I guided Max, who was still blindfolded, towards the pile to throw his, then dumped mine as well.
The smell was pungent enough to make him realize what was there, but apparently it was no problem, unless he actually saw the carcasses.
Brother Julius started walking back as soon as we reached him.
Every few steps, I looked back at the pile, uncertain of what he was going to do with that.
?Shouldn’t we.. bring that stuff back?? I asked, pointing at the pile.
?If you want to give it a piggy-back ride, be my guest; I’ll just go back to the orphanage and have the others bring it back with the cart.?
We had... a cart, at the orphanage?
We walked five more minutes, then he turned, with a slight smirk on his face.
We were back to the point where we had first stopped that morning.
?When you burn the fucker's wicked little paradise, tell him “Julius says hi, Nicho”.? He giggled, then turned back to walking.
Nicho? A pair of ice-blue eyes showed up in my mind as I thought of that name.
When we got back to the orphanage, two of the Brothers were waiting outside, with a weird cart that had some shining metal tubes attached to it, and a tank behind it that throbbed from time to time, almost looking as if it was about to explode.
It was time for dinner, and the other kids were in the dining hall, so no one was there to witness that almost alien device we were seeing.
?Welcome back, Brother Julius. Same place?? Asked one of the Brothers, who was holding a strange pole that was connected to the cart.
He nodded in response.
?Then we shall go.? Said the other.
Then they both turned at us, smiling.
?Welcome back, children.? They said, in unison.
One of them flickered a lever, and the cart started moving on its own, carrying them on top.
?They replaced the valves on the pressurized tank with the wrong model... That thing is basically a bomb right now.? I whispered to myself, without thinking much .
Max stared at me in confusion.
?The pressu- what??
?The pressu- what?? I echoed him, realizing I had no clue about what I just said.
