Alex

  —

  I had never really liked the training program the Clan used. It was 'ancient wisdom', which meant we had hoarded that knowledge until it was stolen and spread. It was how Lance and Claire and every member of the clan trained their dragons. The 'correct' way, apparently. It was simple, really.

  Find a limit, and break it.

  That was basically it, other than tomes and tomes and tomes of out-dated training regimes and methods of Move training, really. Pitiful. Seriously, they hadn't even transcribed them to notebooks!

  I had seen a scroll!

  Well, I was sure Dragonite didn't follow it, because I actually misthought earlier. It was how Dragonite and Claire had trained their dragons, supposedly. Dragonite was far too smart to follow such outdated advice, and I knew she had her own private PokeNav. I had seen her texting before. She had probably scoured the PokeNet for training ideas…

  Erin and Leaf seemed to do things… differently than I had ever heard of, though, for our week of training that Erin had decided we would do.

  For one, I had no idea why Leto, the Tyrant Queen of Galar (thanks for not showing me the video, Lance! I mean, I had missed it too, but still!) had created what looked like an arena an hour's walk from our original campsite after we moved even deeper off-Route this morning. Well, okay, that was easy to figure out, but why was it so huge? It was the size of a stadium! Filled with boulders, fake stone 'trees' that looked more like deformed pillars, random pits, even basic walls with doorways to simulate houses? Why was it all so easy for Leto to casually throw together in two hours?!

  Why was I not training my dragon at all? Why was I standing next to Leaf? Why were we dying? I don't think I've been a bad person so far, but soon it wouldn't matter! I would just die and return! Hopefully I'll be a dragon next time… Dratini would be nice, but I guess I wouldn't mind being a-

  "Alex, pick up the pace! Leaf, not bad, slow down a little actually, you'll wear yourself out. Try to match this pace." I glared at Rotom as it hovered there, smirking at me. It projected a flickering, wispy outline of a human body that stood still, then began jumping and clapping its hands.

  Jumping.

  Fucking.

  Jacks.

  We were doing jumping jacks! What the fuck!?

  Why does it even have that projector?! How much did Erin spend on this asshole?! Is that why it's so fucking big?!

  Wait, it's not an Alpha Rotom, right?! If anyone would have one it would be HER!

  "Alex, I can see you getting distracted." It zapped me and I glared at them. It hadn't even hurt, but it was annoying. Like this fucking Rotom!

  Apparently we were in 'bad shape', according to Erin. Not that she wasn't either, apparently. I would be mad that she wasn't joining us in our torture, but she was inflicting it on herself while she oversaw the training. What kind of training? What were we training for?

  War, apparently.

  We would do individual training later, but for now every Pokemon, except Leto of course, were formed into two groups, fighting what sounded like an actual battle in there. Occasionally I would hear Roars and the sounds of stone collapsing escaping from the arena walls, and once a huge non-Move roar of pure, raging frustration that had startled me badly. Leaf had just smiled widely and said it was Fraxure… being Fraxure. He didn't need a good reason to unleash such a roar, apparently…

  That, or everything frustrated him, which seemed likely, too…

  "Alex, I will tell Erin if you don't focus." Rotom was grinning. Had never stopped, actually. I scowled at them as I gasped for air. I couldn't even respond, I needed the oxygen!

  "Rotom, be nice… Plus, you'll probably do it anyway." Leaf wasn't fine, but she was doing a lot better than me!

  "Maybe, maybe not. You'll never know, Leaf. If not this time, maybe next time?" She scowled at their grin.

  Why were they all so… strange?

  Kallen was a lazy prankster who would help Clefable prank people just for the fun of it. He mostly just hung out on Erin's arm, or Cerberus, but when he decided it was time to be a little shit, he was as slippery as my dragon looked. I was worried that I might get an ear infection, actually, even after only one night. I don't think you were supposed to get water in your ears that often? Maybe? It was annoying as fuck either way!

  Artemis was adorable, but intense, though that wasn't exactly unexpected for a Tyrunt. I hadn't seen a tantrum yet, but that somehow didn't surprise me all that much, given her family. She was driven to train, though, and it visibly annoyed her family sometimes. Campfire time at night is not when we train Roars, Artemis! She also snapped at me with Bites just to startle me, but even through my instinctive terror I could see she was in perfect control. In fact, she snapped almost a hand length away from me, but with Erin and Leaf she almost touched their skin with her lips! They just cooed at her, too!

  It was insanity even with her control!

  Cerberus broke my understanding of Deino's in half, because he never bit anyone. Anyone that Erin designated friendly, at least, which I thankfully now was. I was also in the 'lickable' category now, unfortunately, but it was far better than the 'dismemberment' category. He was just a big happy guy, basically. Big, because let's not forget, he and Kallen were both Alphas, somehow!

  Seraphina was also a training junkie, apparently, she just wasn't disruptive. From what I'd been told, the tiny little gecko had been doing Fire exercises for a long time, but I was still surprised last night when she just sat down in camp and became surrounded by thin streams of fire that spun around and encircled her. It had been very weak fire, it would have barely singed me, but the fine control was insane. It looked like multiple shifting Spinarak webs orbiting her, honestly! She could do the same with Poison, but not easily at all, and not while in camp. Ever…

  Hecate was super amazingly adorable. Period. End of discussion. I mean she was so sweet too, but so adorable. I had looked up her species last night and gotten very uncomfortable with her final Evolution, but for now? She was the cutest thing I had ever seen, and I was glad I thought that way, because she knew I did. She had hung out with me and Dratini last night as we slept with no tent.

  Because apparently I was a member of Leto's pack now if I was Journeying with them, no matter my opinion on things. It was a very positive opinion, of course! Pack member to the most intimidating dragon I had ever seen for my first Circuit? Yes, please! I was really going to have to think of something for when it got cold, however. At a certain point, you want a tent!

  She basically slept in a U shape, one shorter end being her head, so I had expected Leto, or the girls, to make me sleep near her tail with Fraxure or something, not that I would have, he was crazy! I liked living! That would have made sense to me, though. I may be an idiot sometimes, but I was not trying to join that cuddle pile at her chest. I mean, take the humans out of it, I absolutely would, those were some adorable Pokemon… But no, apparently her daughters could sleep on or next to her stomach and upper chest, but me?

  Apparently she didn't mind me sleeping close to the girls.

  Not at all, actually.

  In fact, she insisted.

  I had to sleep next to her face, right next to her jaws. I had to choose between their feet in my face, or my face along her jaws! Once again, I didn't have a choice. She had dragged the futon Erin lent me to her face and pointed with a massive, toothy grin. Now that I think about it, maybe Hecate was trying to soothe me last night…

  It had taken a long time to go to sleep with a single giant eye staring at me in the moonlight.

  A very long time.

  Fraxure was fucking insane, and not in a fun way. I got the feeling he would dismember me in a heartbeat, just for the fun of it, and judging from the way he would look at the few stray Pokemon that got close, I was right! He was a murderous maniac! Yet, Leaf just… tried to love on him! She patted his head when he let her, which was rare, and seemed entirely at ease around the far too wild and dangerous dragon.

  Indeedee was adorable, dedicated to Leaf and then to Erin, an amazing helper around camp, and she disliked me. A lot. Quite a lot, in fact. Everyone else had quickly forgiven me for being an absolute idiot, which I had been, even with Lance's instructions, but her? I don't think she ever would, even if it hadn't been long since last night, because I tried very hard not to meet her gaze any more. Every time I did she would slap the fuck out of me a few times! Once again, no pain, somehow! It was more disorientating than anything, but it was not fun!

  Clefable was… The weirdest fucking fae I had ever heard of. I mean, she was a massive prankster, sure, but she was… nice? Somehow?

  Seriously, they knew Clefable was weird, too! Leaf knew that fae were bad news, supposedly… Yet, she almost always had that fairy in her arms. It was almost her height, but apparently it could just always tell reality to take a nap and just… be lightweight! They cuddled so much!

  Why were they so… insane?

  Why had Erin ran off after we got done talking to Lance? Why had she taken Kallen, Cerberus, and Artemis? Why had she grinned like she had?

  I mean, I knew. She had gone hunting! She had hunted Pokemon! Not her Pokemon hunted a Pokemon, she did! She had been so damn proud of the two Pidgeotto she had managed to kill, with what looked to have been an arrow of some sort judging from the holes. I didn't see a quiver, or weapons, though, so for all I know she did it with her damn spooky eyes!

  It had almost prepared me for what came next.

  I was no stranger to meat, or Pokemon eating Pokemon. There were herbivorous dragons, but most dragons ate other Pokemon. Nobody ever left the Clan without having picked up a cleaver at least once in a while. That hadn't been butchering, though. Just making smaller chunks.

  Erin apparently had no problems with butchering, however. She stood near the edge of our clearing to do it, and I had watched in morbid fascination as she gutted, plucked, and disassembled the two large avians. Leaf had taken over cooking after that, not willing to wait for Erin to finish her other business. Because of course, the dragons needed to eat, and Leto had run off earlier with Rotom. I had heard a Hyper Beam go off in the mountains in the distance, then shortly after she was returning with half of a Snorlax! She had eaten half! To be fair, she had actually gutted it, which was apparently a huge rarity, so a lot was missing, but still!

  Then Erin had started skinning it.

  We didn't do that in the Clan! I mean, we ate hunted Pokemon, sure, but we bought the meat. Not that we couldn't hunt or butcher, but I guess we were too 'high class' for that. The meat we fed our dragons was wild hunted by the dragons themselves, and only they ate from it, they just liked to make us cut up snacks for them, I swear…

  It was disturbing, really. Erin seemed to dislike it too, but she had simply tossed her jacket aside and gotten to work, though I had no idea what she was going to do with the half a Snorlax skin that wetly flopped to the ground. Finally, she had simply chunked the carcass out and put the pieces on a meat spit! Erin had bought it, but it was obviously the dragons, Leto's especially.

  She enjoyed slow-roasted meat…

  Which would explain a few of those disturbing sensations when she had hit me with her aura. Her and Erin, because of course, Erin had the exact same aura as a literal maneater! I mean, it was badass, really, but it also made so much sense when you saw how she… was…

  "Alex, last warning. You're allowed to slow down as you get tired, you're not allowed to lose your rhythm." Rotom almost sounded serious. I mean, it may actually have been serious, but it was a ghostly asshole. I wouldn't trust their word until I had it in writing.

  Not even then, actually.

  "FU…CK… Y… OU!" It laughed at me, then perked up.

  "Okay, okay, cooldown exercises. Light jog for five minutes, five minutes of walking. While you do that…" It sparked a bit. "I think I'll go ruin Erin's day. Somehow, I'll figure it out." We laughed at them as they flew off. Rotom may have been an asshole, but it was funny to watch them torment Erin.

  We began to jog towards the arena. It wasn't far, but considering the obstacle course Leto had created with Rotom's help on the way there, it took us a while. Well, less an obstacle course and more a series of soft and sharp inclines. It was weird, but I could tell that it was designed to increase my lower leg and ankle strength and flexibility. It was easy to tell, considering they were on fire as we finally reached the arena, starting to walk up to the 'Emperor's Podium'.

  Not sure why Erin insisted on calling it that, but she had seemed very happy about it earlier. The rough, blocky stairs up were not fun to climb, almost literally in places, but I could easily forgive Leto. We were inside the arena walls, it was insane she'd made stairs in the first place! It's not like she used stairs, either! We reached the top and stared at the scene unfolding before our eyes on the wide platform.

  Erin stood there, facing away from us towards the battle, but there was no Rotom in sight. She was only wearing a short pink skirt and a light blue sleeveless shirt, plus some sort of plain-looking black bracers for some reason. She was… shuffling? It really looked like she was just shuffling her feet around and flailing her arms, but she was doing it fast and hard and wildly, sweat flying off her as she practically Thrashed across the platform. Thankfully there were short walls, because she was moving! Her headband was on the ground, so her hair was swinging freely for it all. Her arms and head were bouncing to a… rhythm… wait…

  I looked at Leaf in disbelief, but she shushed me silently with a massive smile. We went back to watching from around the corner, and I noticed Rotom hiding in the stairwell, watching Erin from another corner. I guess their 'ruin her day' was letting us see her dancing to music in her head, and probably recording it… Or not in her head, she had a tight headset on… Like, one with a tiny microphone… Why a microphone?

  "We always get the plan A- Never need a plan B- Stickin' to your memory- And dedicate my energy-" She was singing, but that was not singing like I'd heard before. That was way too fast, she was practically mumbling it, but clearly! What was that called? It didn't sound much like rap, honestly, but that was the closest I could think of… Whatever it was, though, she looked to be enjoying herself very much. Like, quite a bit. She looked so light and free and happy as she practically Thrashed… also kinda vicious, but that may have just been her, like Leto's stares.

  It made her expression when she spun around and saw us watching so much scarier. It was just a nice smile. I had never seen a nice smile on Erin. I mean, it's been two days, counting today, but still!

  "Why hello there! Rotom? I'll figure something out for you." It giggled and zoomed over to her. She continued to smile at us, then sighed heavily, taking deep breaths.

  "Well, since you're here, let's see who ends up winning. I know who my guess is." We stepped forward and looked down into the arena.

  I think I had been expecting to see something like a melee? A giant brawl? Four vs five? Not a 1 vs 8.

  A terrifying 1 vs 8.

  Clefable floated twenty feet in the air, a Protect shimmering around her even as I could see the extra-wide Gravity she kept up at all times. It was a little hard to see through the small showers of Swifts that occasionally flew from her wings towards everyone else. Dragon Breaths, Confusions, Incinerates, Psybeams, Rock Throws, all bounced off of her Protect. It did shimmer dangerously occasionally, but it rebounded so fast! Too fast! Protects should take a few seconds to rebound, not one! She was just floating there throwing Swifts out like they were nothing at the same time, looking almost idle, and I felt my stomach churn.

  She should not be able to just float like that! Fae bent reality, sure, but eventually reality snapped back! She should still have motion, even if it was extremely light, but no. It looked like she was almost standing there! That was no Move, either! That was pure fae magic! Strong fae magic! Fae contractors restricted that, though! It was one of the most basic limitations! It was like she was a wild-

  The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

  "I-I-Is she u-uncontracted!?" I was already backing up when Leaf grabbed my hand with a large smile.

  "Relax, Alex! She's no danger!" I was shaking my head. That was not true, couldn't be!

  "Why the hell is she uncontracted you-... Why?" I barely remembered Erin's warning, not to mention their mothers. Erin laughed and nodded at Leaf, while Leaf just kept smiling at me with wide, innocent eyes.

  "Tell me Alex, are there other ways to interact with the fae, other than contracts?" She looked so amused, but I wasn't! No, there wasn't!

  "No! No, there are not!" Leaf frowned and held up her hand.

  "Alex, trust me when I say she is safe. I mean, you can ask her later, if you want. She's not under a contract, no. She is bound to me, though." She began to smirk, even as I pulled my PokeNav out.

  "I need to go-" Rotom snatched my PokeNav out of my hands, somehow, and grinned at me. Was that magnetism or something? Erin spoke up.

  "Alex, chill. Leaf is right. I don't lie. Clefable is fine. I mean, she's a devious prankster, but she's nice. To nice people. Mostly…" Erin trailed off, but I just kept staring at her.

  She knew, and I would know. She frowned at me.

  "Alex, I don't mind telling you, considering we're Journeying together, but I kind of mind telling other people. I don't want other people to try this shi- stuff. Honestly… you could tell Lance if you absolutely have to, he's a good guy under that fu- trash-heap he calls an ego, but that's it!" I nodded at her, still terrified. It was an uncontracted fae!

  Her grin was evil. Also proud.

  "Long story short? I tricked her. I slowly, carefully, deviously led her into a deal where the thing she wanted most was right in front of her, and then I forced her to choose. Walk away from it… Or form a bond of friendship mutually given with Leaf. She could understand friendship, and that is the emotion she wanted to explore, but she didn't know it. She couldn't give Leaf friendship, because she didn't know it. Long story short, she had to give Leaf everything. Clefable can never disobey a true order Leaf gives her, because Leaf owns her. She can never harm or take from her, either. Clefable isn't stupid, though. She only did that because she evaluated Leaf, another thing I basically tricked her into doing. Leaf just wanted a friend, and Clefable wanted to learn about friendship. It's a perfect relationship for both of them, and they are both stupid happy with it." Her grin grew dangerous.

  "Plus, me and Clefable are pretty tight. She's fine, Alex. I mean, she's probably going to terrorize you, but that's just because it's funny as f- hell." I didn't appreciate her grin.

  That was impossible!

  "Clefable says she'll show you later, if you want?" Leaf was looking at me questioningly. How the fuck?

  "How the fuck do you know that?" She looked confused.

  "I mean, I'm communing with her? Pretty much all the time these days, actually. She can't take or change anything, not even by accident or ignorance, so she loves to hang out in my mind. I got used to it a long time ago, and I can even talk back to her in my head, kind of. I'm still working on improving that, but it works for now. It's pretty comfortable, actually! It's like always getting a hug!" She was serious!

  She was smiling warmly!

  She was insane!

  "Communing is supposed to hurt!" She laughed at my perfectly reasonable statement!

  "The first few times, yeah. You get used to it- actually, that might just be a me thing? Since I technically hold her soul? I never actually thought about it, but… do I hold her soul in my mind, or in my soul? It didn't hurt after I had it, I think? So, a different fae might hurt to commune with, I guess? I get the feeling it won't with her in there, though. She won't let anyone hurt or take from me." Excuse me, WHAT!?

  Is that what you meant by she gave you everything!?

  Her SOUL?!

  "There's- How? Just…" I trailed off.

  What the fuck?

  Am I actually having a strok-

  "BLE!"

  Arceus GUIDE me!

  I spun around, holding my chest like I could actually stop the heart attack I swore I could feel building. There was nothing and nobody there, but I looked over to see Clefable smile with her stupid fucking shit-eating face! From a hundred feet away! Floating! As two Psybeams hit her Protect!

  "Arceus! Oh, oh that was just too good! Leaf, can I have her? Just for the glorious mayhem we could unleash together?" Erin and Leaf were both doubled over laughing at me, but I was still trying to not die!

  What the fuck!? Leaf owned a fae's soul?! Clefable was uncontracted!? Erin had tricked a fae?! Erin was pretty tight with Clefable, with a fae?! Leaf just let a fae live in her head!?

  "Want to bet on how long it takes for him to come to terms with reality? I don't think Lance ever did…" Leaf sounded far too amused for someone with a FAE in their head!

  Erin replied with a huge frown, though.

  "Leaf, betting is gambling, and you're not gambling. I'm not gambling. Doesn't matter if it's no or low stakes like this. End of discussion." Wait… I think that might have been just as surprising as an unbound fae that lives in someone's head! Did Erin just sound… mature?

  "Wait, did you just sound mature?! Shit, Clefable's got me under an illusion, doesn't she?!" Fuck, this was bad! Fae illusions were no good! Not at a-

  There was no sound that cut that thought off. Nobody touched me, and there was no aura, either. Erin just grinned, and I knew this was the grin I hadn't wanted to see.

  She looked like she had found a toy!

  "Alex, I literally don't lie. I only make rational sense, because I can't make irrational sense." I really wish I could have stopped myself from replying…

  "Doesn't that just mean you're insane? You can lie to yourself."

  Why am I so stupid?!

  She shook her head in disappointment. And anticipation, somehow? Oh no…

  "Hoo, boy… Okay, then… I'll need to give this one real thought, you just bumped this up to a Category Three." Category Three? What? Erin, why are you so fucking weird!?

  She turned back towards the arena and smiled at the one-sided match. Seraphina and Hecate were riding Cerberus for mobility while unleashing Incinerates and Dazzling Gleams, as Cerberus apparently used Bite and the huge amount of sound down there to echolocate around the scattered boulders, shallow pits, and fake houses in the arenas center. I mean, he actually was dodging more stuff than he slammed into, to be fair… He would occasionally unleash a Dragon Breath at Clefable, or in her direction, but he seemed far more focused on smashi- dodging obstacles right now.

  Artemis was tossing Rock Throws as she charged through the Gravity, but they were kind of pitiful, honestly. I mean, she hadn't been full grown for more than two weeks, so not exactly unexpected. Kallen would occasionally launch himself into the air with a large Water Gun before unleashing point-blank Water Pulses, and because he was a little shit, he would unleash a large Smokescreen as he did. Because why should anyone be able to clearly see the terrifying fae just standing in the air?!

  Dratini was trying to work on her Twisters as she struggled in the high Gravity, but… she hadn't trained much yet, and she was completely unused to the Gravity. Although, I could tell she was getting a good workout simply by existing down there right now, so really, the Twister practice was just a bonus.

  Fraxure looked like he had teamed up with Indeedee! It was the most surprising thing other than the uncontracted fae I had ever seen… until I watched for a little longer. He seemed to like Indeedee, or at least respect her, and apparently was very used to sparring with her. That would explain why he would have her launch him with a damn Psybeam! Literally, he would jump directly in front of her and she would hit him hard with an overpowered Psybeam! He actually almost broke through Clefables Protect once with a Breaking Swipe, and it was probably one of the coolest, if oddest, combo moves I had ever seen pulled off. She just healed him when he crashed to the ground, too! And he just hopped back up with a wide fucking laughing smile, of course, because Fraxure was absolutely insane!

  Erin spoke up with a smile in her tone. Also a vicious grin. Because it was Erin. Leto stared and Erin grinned.

  "Either way, this isn't a fight they were supposed to win. Clefable was powerful before she Evolved, and before I un- yeah, she's been powerful, but as a Clefable, she is stupid powerful. I'd say seventh Badge, easily. She's not going to see a Gym or trainer battle for a long time. She's actually pretty irritated by it, so I let her blow off steam like this. Gives the other Pokemon a goal… and a villain. She loves playing the villain during training."

  Arceus above, you have to be kidding me! Seventh?! They both have one Badge!

  Leaf got a huge smile on her face and pointed at Clefable. Nothing was happening, though… Then the fae smiled and the Gravity began to visibly ramp up in strength. A single Moonblast formed above her head, and her smile grew far too wicked. The problem was, it was matched by Erin and Leaf!

  Clefable stood there, in the air of course, holding her hands above her head, eyes raised up as she shouted.

  "FFFFAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

  She just… kept going, somehow! She just kept belting out a loud 'AAA' sound as the Moonblast began to grow! The attacks on her increased in intensity, with Kallen actually managing to punch through her Protect with an overpowered Water Gun, landing a solid strike that left her arm bleeding. She looked down and smiled, and it was THE most horrifying thing I had ever seen.

  "-AAAAAABLE!"

  The Moonblast that howled into the arena directly below her was huge. I had seen far larger and more destructive in tournaments, but it was still terrifying as it shredded the ground, sending stone shards flying into the scattered Pokemon. The sound of it was piercing as stone ground to dust, and I heard dark, evil laughter.

  From Clefable and Erin.

  Maybe Lance was correct? I mean, he's an idiot, but broken clocks, right? Maybe Erin really is Giratina's spawn, sent here to torment us for failing some cosmic test as a species…

  —

  Individual training had been… individual today, so it had just been me and Dratini… Which was great! Sometimes! When she… obeyed me. I was working on it, but there wasn't exactly a lot of specific knowledge on how to train dragons. Everyone did it differently, that was just how dragons worked, including different species under the same trainer. Well, Erin was weird, so not her, but even Dragonite and Claire trained their teams differently depending on species, or even between the same, like Dragonites Dragonite… Lance, name your fucking Pokemon… I'll get to Dratini when I think of one and know her better, it's been a week, you've had years! Wait, that involves you thinking!

  "Hey, Clefable. Want a name?"

  I looked at Leaf in absolute HORROR as we sat around the fire that night.

  The fae terror just grinned from her spot next to Leaf as Fraxure started to growl. Leaf looked over at him with an amused expression.

  "Oh? Want a name, Fraxure? I've had one in mind for a long time, actually! You're just always such a grumpy little guy, I figured you wouldn't like a name." His growl grew greater, but he still gave a short nod of his head. Erin was beaming at him from her spot next to the fire, what looked like pride in her eyes. Leaf got up and walked over to him, almost skipping.

  Leaf smiled widely as she crouched in front of Fraxure. I was honestly scared for her, because all it would take was a strong twitch and she would be down an arm or head, but she was heedless of the dangers as she cupped his face with both hands and gave him a kiss on the snout! He growled, but remained still, and her face was practically radiating happiness as she leaned back, still cupping his face.

  "Well, honestly? After that? I'm not sure if the name fits you any more… Nah, actually, it still does. Probably forever, if I'm being completely honest with myself. Fraxure, what are you? To other people, I mean?" He cocked his head to the side. Her grin grew mischievous and playful, her eyes practically sparkling with humor in the firelight.

  "Personally, I'd say you were a Hazard! How does that sound?" Fraxure- Hazard smiled, perked up, and nodded so fast he did nick her arm, but she just pulled it back without flinching and hugged him! He even hugged her back! For like, two seconds, yes, but I thought his head would just explode if she hugged him at all!

  Leaf didn't even stop to wrap her arm, just turned to Clefable.

  No!

  "You're not supposed to name fae!?" I mean, that was the most common knowledge! Right?! How can they not know?!

  She just glared at me. So did Erin… Fuck it, I guess!

  I raised my hands in surrender and settled back down. It's not going to be my fault when something messed up happens… Like death…

  Leaf turned back to Clefable, smile still wide… Even as her arm… weakly trickled. Okay, it wasn't a bad cut… Still!

  Leaf crouched down in front of her and pulled her down with her, ending with Leaf cross-legged and Clefable… happily pushing her stubby feet onto Leaf's knees.

  "I know that names are something so important for your kind. I also know that it has to fit, because by naming you, I'm basically setting your future in stone. I don't need to tell you the name I'm thinking of." She paused and looked directly into Clefables eyes.

  "Would you like to be named that?" Clefable smiled, and even through the pants-shitting terror that a happy fae brought, I could tell that was a real smile. She nodded, and Leaf gave her a huge, wide smile.

  "Well then, it's good to finally put a name to you, Hope!"

  I was not prepared for the entire clearing to sort of… shift. I really didn't know how to describe it. The lights were the same, the shadows, the- wait! That wasn't right!

  What was that shine in the… air itself?

  Excuse me?

  WHAT?!

  Erin started cackling before she stood up and spoke, declared to an invisible audience. Her arms were thrown out wide, a wild smile on her face.

  She almost sang her words, voice lively and excited.

  "Bitches, Bros, and Non-Binary Hoes! I invite you to share our fire for a time in peace, harming nothing and nobody, taking nothing from others, neither through ignorance nor by accident, acquiring only your own new memories and emotions, working no magics, tricks, or sorceries of any kind, departing peacefully after, and I extend this invitation for the mortal time span of four hours! Let's have a celebration!"

  I had a lot of questions, but they were answered quickly enough.

  Apparently some fae can just… move where they want to be, considering the fifteen or so Clefable that fucking popped into existence as soon as Erin finished talking!

  Most immediately rushed… Hope, and she let them pick her up and start tossing her up and down! I mean, she was letting gravity work right now. All the fae looked so happy for Hope!

  The fuck was all this?!

  Somehow Erin and Leaf's Pokemon just… didn't react to this shit! How?! Is this normal?!

  Indeedee was casually talking to one of them!

  What the fuck?!

  Erin spoke up into the chaos she had somehow unleashed, smile playful and vicious. I really think the second part was just natural, though.

  "Hey! Real quick, who wants food, and wants it to be meat?" A few fae lifted a hand. "Rest of you veggies? Who just doesn't want to eat? Cause if we're hosting a celebration, you have to have something to consume! Especially when you can't eat us!" She got a lot of giggles and head nods as she said that, and I almost pissed myself when my eyes met with a wild Clefables.

  "Hi."

  "Greetings, new specific-positive-emotion-assigned-being."

  "Arceus!" My head was throbbing, and I felt a small trickle of blood run from my nose. What the fuck!?

  "Hey, just to let you know, he's off limits. Not that you could do anything to him right now, but let's play nice. I know you actually do just want to say hi, but you know it hurts us. Well, other people. Not Leaf, and I don't give a shi- a fu- Arceus, Patricia! I don't care, I don't even feel it, but say hi to him with a nod or something." The fae all nodded at Erin before turning back to Hope and Indeedee… and Frax- Hazard? Somehow, that wasn't surprising.

  Okay, why do you not feel it, Erin? Why did they giggle about eating us? Why did you giggle at it, too?!

  Why the FUCK did I just commune with a fae!

  Why, for the love of Arceus, did I just commune with a fae, ONLY for the fae to say 'Hi, new friend'?!

  "Actually, are any of you fae feeling a little bloodthirsty tonight? Wanna help me hunt down some food?" Erin, what the everloving fuck are you doing?! What is that SMILE?! Why are your Pokemon just giving you looks of exasperation, not trying to join you?! None of them?!

  Even Kallen looks done with your shit!

  A tiny Clefable bounced over to her and she gave it a wicked smile that it returned. Actually, let me rephrase that. Her wicked, evil smile turned wickeder. That's more accurate.

  "You know what, with a little fae magic, I bet we could do this the real fun way! Let's get going, there's a stream nearby, we might find something drinking there… Ooh, nice name, my dude! High five! Hop in my mind real quick, check out these stories I've read with that name… Yeah, see, I told you! Awesome name! A strong name… Actually, Rotom, you want to join us?" She looked over at her huge, very still phone as it hovered and got a large shit-eating grin on her face. Her eyebrows bounced a few times.

  "Not sure why you're so surprised, Rotom, you know everything about me. I shouldn't surprise you much these days… Okay, I'm going to assume you're just petrified by terror, and not frozen by fae magic. Especially since they can't work any at the campsite. I'll be back soon, half an hour at the most. This forest is packed." Wait, so you're going out into the darkness with a wild Clefable that can work its magic!?

  Why are you literally disappearing into the dark woods with a self-described bloodthirsty fae riding on your shoulders?! Why is it waving its arms like it's on an amusement ride?!

  Erin?

  Erin?!

  My terrified eyes met Leafs wide, happy ones and her smile… couldn't get bigger, actually. She just nodded at me quickly before turning back to the group of Clefable she was just… staring at. Communing with…

  What the fuck…

  I turned to Rotom and gave them a shaky, incredulous, terrified stare. It was alive in there, but it was not happy, wide eyes darting around wildly.

  "Rotom, is this… normal?" I mean, obviously not, right? Look at them, Rotom is about to have a ghost heart attack!

  "It's… Maybe? This is new, for sure, but… If Leaf keeps getting fae…" Excuse me, what?!

  "What do you mean, keeps getting fae? She only has Clefable, right?" It didn't even look at me as it responded.

  "Yeah, she's got an Egg that is almost certainly a Fairy, and I think I know the species. Leaf wanted it to be a surprise at the Breeders Ranch, so I'm really just guessing. It's actually extremely hard to figure out with just patterns and no data on where it came from, even if you're as awesome as me." It looked a bit better, but not much. I felt even worse though, if that was possible. Another fae?

  It turned very slightly more towards me, wide eyes still scanning the Clefables. It's childish, mischievous voice was actually serious for once, and I could tell, so at the very least I know what to listen for in the future…

  "Alex, this is basically your last chance to back out. You've seen a lot, but after this? You're with us till the Conference, kid, and Erin can't keep secrets that long. She hates to, actually. It's a wonder she can keep any. Not going to lie, it is a great opportunity for you, even with Erin's insanity… and Leaf's, too, now that I think about it. It will also test your sanity, as you can see. Remember what Lance said? I swear she actually does erode sanity in an area around herself, like an aura of madness. It's not her actual aura, I already checked. It was my first thought, actually… It's your call, but if you want out, last chance. They won't blame you, either, not at all. I mean, even for me, this is nuts!" It finally began to move a little more, but the second it did a Clefable looked over and smiled. Nothing happened, but it was still scary.

  I was surprisingly leaning more towards staying, barely, but Leto's huge head staring at me made me feel like I didn't exactly have a choice in this matter, either. Leto had decided I was her pack member… so…

  "No… No, I'll stick around… Tell Lance he's a prick for me one more time if I die, please?" It laughed.

  "I'll do that for free, how about I also play videos of you insulting him?" It turned to me with a huge grin.

  "Fuck you, Roto- actually, yeah. Yeah, please do that, thank you! I'll need to think up some new material… I feel like I could do a one hour special if I really gave it my all…" I could, too. I could already feel the insults forming…

  Well, I guess I was… celebrating the profane and suicidal rite of naming a Fairy in the dark woods at night with a bunch of wild fae around a campfire? While Erin hunted in the darkness with another, self-admittedly bloodthirsty wild fae? While Hope joyfully talked to her fellows as Leaf just… communed with a dozen Clefable?

  Communed so happily?!

  …

  Arceus, just let me make it to the Conference alive. That is all I ask of you.

  Please.