Alex

  —

  A week of training didn't feel like much, and at the same time, it felt so long! I mean, we all made good progress, as far as I could tell. I had actually managed to get a bit more respect from Dratini, but the main issue is I had no idea why, exactly. Well, I figured it was something about being surrounded by madness and me being even a week more familiar, or maybe it was sleeping practically in Leto's stinky mouth every damn night?!

  I had begged her to let me move, but nope, I stayed there. I had asked Rotom to interpret why, but I had really regretted asking in front of the others.

  Because apparently, to Leto, it was obvious that I wasn't here just to Journey. I was obviously trying to make moves on one of her daughters, too. Obviously. Thing is, Leto was a fucking Pokemon, so she didn't care, she was just going to make sure it only happened when she let it happen. Obviously. Because as the pack leader, and their mother, she had control over that. Obviously.

  Her fucking words.

  When she 'LET' it happen!

  Don't ask me if I'm interested in them! Oh no, just assume! I mean… Leaf is really pretty and nice, so I may have easily developed a crush in the future, sure, absolutely, before I knew a fae lived in her head all the time! Erin?! She was really pretty, too, sure, but Arceus above, save me from that insane- oh no, Lance was right! She is a menace! It's the perfect fucking word for her! Arceus above, save me from that insane menace!

  Of course, they had found it absolutely hilarious! I'm pretty sure they were trying to make their feet smell more than normal these days! I mean, probably not, but the sheer joy in their faces and giggles as Rotom had translated, hovering just out of my reach, had been more than enough to make it seem very possible.

  So I continued to breathe in the lovely odor of rotting meat every night, not to mention their feet. I'd still take the feet over the sight of her jaws in my face the one time I had been brave enough to try. Even with them behind my back, I knew they were there. I had convinced her to let Kallen spray her mouth out, but… it had done something for maybe an hour.

  Dratini had also gotten a little physically stronger after only a week. Most teams don't have access to training strategies like Gravity for a long time, usually their seventh badge or so. Being able to constantly work her whole body at all times like the long noodle dragon she was had given her a whole new layer of muscles. Also a lot of complaining and glaring at Hope, but it had worked out in the end.

  I hadn't enjoyed it. Never would, I suspected. The Roar resistance training, either… Nobody could even stand for that one, so we all sat, but I guess it worked? It made horrible sense to develop a resistance to Moves like that, actually… I despised it so much, still. Leto loved it, even if she had to tone it down to not kill us. She got great pleasure out of the whole ordeal. Vicious damn Queen…

  Dratini's Dragon Tail was now almost perfect, too. It was battle-ready, but it still took a couple seconds to charge up her energies. Luckily, she'd been inspired by competition. With Artemis, because Artemis had laughed at her Dragon Tails. I knew she had only perfected her own Dragon Tail a couple days before we met, so it was a bit mean, but I wasn't going to say anything. Let my little eel have some drive that's more than 'me dragon, me strong without doing shit', because that wasn't drive, that was a prissy five-foot-

  "Alex, I feel like we have this conversation every single day. To be fair, it does change in specifics each time. You're always to be jogging, even if you're practically moving in place. You're not working on your stamina with this. Well, you are, but this teaches you how to jog, and how to not stop jogging, so that your body does it automatically even when exhausted, instead of reaching the limits of your stamina, slowing to a walk that quickly grows too painful from lactic acid buildup, and collapsing like most people do when they have to seriously move. I know you fleshy people have issues with locomotion, but seriously! I would say this is stupid, too, but I've seen the data on this training program. It does work. It's also basically torture. So keep jogging!" Their grin was far too wide.

  Rotom got way too much satisfaction out of this.

  We were all jogging, this time. We had packed everything but the camp shower, and as soon as we were done and showered we were going to finally go to Cerulean City after a week of training. I don't mean to start going there. No, apparently we were going to ride? I knew Leto wouldn't let us ride her, so I was certainly confused…

  "Alex… Seriously, no ghostly trickery. You okay?" I scowled at it's massive fucking grin.

  "Rotom, chill out. It's willpower, he'll get it. Eventually." Erin grinned at me as she jogged past me. She was fine, somehow! I mean, she was absolutely exhausted, too, but she just kept going!

  "Rotom, Alex fears pain, give it time. Or Erin, one or the other." Leaf smirked at me as she jogged past me. Half-dead.

  Oh Arceus, I should have taken my last 'out' when Rotom offered it! Why did I not?! I mean, I don't think Leto would actually have tried to eat me. In fact, I'm certain of it…

  Rotom was right, though. Insane menace and fae… whatever the fuck it was Leaf did to Hope, because she's not a contractor! They might be crazy, but they and their Pokemon both had strength, and I would never say I didn't like the results of this insane training! This morning! Because the other mornings it was just pain and aches, but this morning it was pain, aches, and a strange sense of progress.

  Maybe next week the pain will go away…

  "Okay, let's call it! Alex might actually hurt himself, and I know Indeedee doesn't want to heal him!" No, no she did not! She would, absolutely, in an instant. She was apparently a qualified Nurse, because they loved to fight, of course! One from across the planet! She would just glare at me for far too long while healing me!

  I mean, Hecate could heal me, technically, but we left all healing to the actual, qualified Nurse when possible. No reason not to, really.

  I let myself walk in place idly as I caught my breath. I knew better by now than to go from full, or whatever I had been managing there, to no speed. Rotom loved to zap people. Because Rotom was a huge asshole.

  "Okay, go ahead and take the first shower, Leaf. Make it quick, though. We can take a better shower at the Center if we need to." Leaf yelped out an okay as she ran for the camp shower.

  Erin was still walking in place, but slower, and she gave me a smile as she saw me looking. It was actually a normal smile, and that startled me. She usually grinned, or looked like she was going to eat you, but no. Just a normal smile.

  "Feeling any stronger yet, Alex? I know it sucks, trust me, but just basic courses for fitness help a lot, and this is a good course." What was going on? Was this a shapeshifter? She was just… asking casual questions, not weighing me with her eyes, not examining me like a threat, like food? Just… was she being normal?!

  HOW?!

  "Y-yeah, a bit. Well, no, not really, but I can feel that it's headed in that direction, I guess?" She smiled again, and once again, what the fuck? It was a normal smile. She stopped walking in place, coming to a stop. She was exhausted, and it looked like she was in pain, but she just rubbed her back. For a second, then she stopped with a surprised, pleased expression. Like it hadn't hurt, but she'd expected it to.

  "Good! So, going to enjoy the look on Misty's face when Dratini comes out?" Now she was grinning again. Wow, it had been such a short experience, yet so profound… Like her bouts of sanity…

  "Now that I'm part of the 'pack', and don't have to worry about being robbed? Yes! Oh, yes! She's tried to get ahold of one before, but we don't trade Dratini very often, and it has to be their choice. None of them wanted to, and she refused to believe us!" She laughed.

  "That sounds like Misty! What did she even want a Dratini for? Her personal team? I mean, yeah, they live in water, but they're Dragons!" I shook my head with an easy smile. Also a very amused one, remembering her face.

  "It was for her sisters, actually. They host shows and Contests, and they're looking for a Dratini that wants to Evolve into a Dragonair and stop, because they are stunning, for sure. Some prefer that, absolutely, but most of those are female and prefer to stay at the Aerie and breed. Dragonair's actually produce far more Eggs than Dragonites, larger bodies and all that." Her eyes flashed purple, because of course they did!

  "Ooohh, that sounds fun. I might have to drop by there sometime… Actually, is that Hoard-Home? Because I could not parse that one, whatsoever…" I looked at her in confusion.

  "Excuse me, what?" She actually blushed a bit.

  "O-Oh, yeah, so did you know Dragonite has a PokeNav? She texts weirdly, though. Well, it sounds a lot more natural and flows better through aura, but still… Hoard-Home, Dragonite?!" Excuse me?

  "Continue? What the hell? Yes, I knew about Dragonites Pokenav, it's funny as shit that Lance doesn't know, but hold on! It 'sounds more natural through aura?'" She growled, bending over briefly, and I nearly threw myself backwards in alarm. I mean, she was unpredictable… and dangerous!

  When she came up she was calm. Somehow…

  "Well… crap. So, yeah. Obviously you know I can use my aura, it's basically just that. How do you think Pokemon communicate complex ideas between each other? It's all just aura vibrations, basically. You don't need to have an overwhelming aura to feel the aura of the world around you. Technically, you might not feel it because it's so light, but it is there. That's how Pokemon communicate. I mean, that's why they usually get so close to talk, the closer they are, that their auras are, the clearer and faster they can talk. Distant communication is more basic, just their cries, but even then, they have complex patterns and stuff like that, turning it into almost a separate language, if a more limited one." Excuse me, who the fuck is this, and where was Erin? This person sounded far too smart to be Erin!

  Also, WHAT!? I mean, the Pokemon aura communication is known, yes, but WHAT!?

  "Erin! That took Lance years to do! He didn't manage control over his aura until he was twenty two, and prick or not, he is gifted! I honestly don't know how long after that it took him to read aura, but still! Erin, that is stupid! I mean, awesome, yes. Badass to the extreme! HOW, though?" Her face fell momentarily, and I nearly stepped back. I had never seen a reaction like that anywhere near her face, never even close! What the hell?!

  She frowned at me, eyes back to weighing me.

  "Lets just say… it does you no good and possibly ill to know, so I won't tell you now. I may tell you in the future, I don't know. Lance knows how because he kept bugging me, and I kind of owed him... If you want to ask him, feel free, but good luck getting him to let go of anything he has that someone else doesn't." That sounded highly accurate… What the hell had that face been?!

  "Sorry… it's just-" She raised her hand with an easy smile. It looked real, at least.

  "Alex, you're fine. Curiosity is natural! Sometimes secrets are, too. We'll see how we're doing by… Vermillion, if not sooner. Probably much sooner, honestly. I know myself too well to think I can hold onto my secrets forever. I'm not great at it, and I don't like doing it. Honestly? I thought that wouldn't be a big issue with mom, here. I mean, who would try to join this pack?" She was grinning at me, and I returned it.

  I could deal with that deadline. They weren't my secrets to know in the first place, she was being generous. Plus, yeah, she tended to ramble when she really got going around the campfire… Never going to say that, though…

  "Tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing in my shoes. Being in Leto's pack for my first Circuit? I wasn't exactly worried about danger, but now I'm not at all. I could wear a sign that said 'Blackthorn' and be safe… Well, okay, I was a little worried before… You hear stories." You did, too. Not fun stories.

  She winced and shook her head.

  "Yeah, and I know you heard me tell Lance, but the second I tell you to call the police or Rangers and run, you do. Understand?" Her eyes were so hard as she stared at me. She wasn't aggressive, not at all. She was demanding.

  "Yeah, I got it… I mean… I don't know?" I quickly raised my hands at her glare. "I mean, yes I'll do that, I just don't… know how to feel about the whole… killing part. I'm not a sympathiser, I just…" I trailed off and hung my head.

  I really didn't know how to feel about the whole thing, honestly. On the one hand, I knew that people fought and died every day. It was usually to Pokemon, but also humans, too. I obviously wanted Team Rocket stopped, but-

  "Alex, look at me." I looked up and met those spooky purple eyes of hers. They were calm and understanding, and I felt calmer. Not much, but a little. She gripped my shoulder and squeezed.

  "You're fine. That's the natural reaction to the thought of death, even for strangers, even for people like Team Rocket! Each and every one of them is a person, the same as you. Each one was a baby once, innocent and full of possibilities. It is natural to feel empathy! Each and every one of us is the same person, so it hurts you to hurt someone, to end their life, even to think about it, and it is right to feel empathy. It is good. You are a good kid, Alex." Odd word choice, same person and kid stuff aside, she was gentle and understanding as she said those words. Not like the usual Eri- and there her face goes, back to hard.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  "Unfortunately, you reach a point where you have a choice. I chose this me over that me. Multiple times. I will continue to. I will also remove those other me's who are doing such horrible things to other, other me's. When I killed those members of Team Rocket, it was the exact same being looking out of the eyes of the member Kallen decapitated as was looking out of mine watching it happen. I truly believe we're all the same being, Alex, and Hope kind of gave it away." Excuse me, WHAT?!

  "It doesn't change the reality that we are interacting with, unfortunately. I've already promised not to seek them out, but when I find those people?" Now I was starting to get it, because she looked like fucking Lance with that snarl! Like a defensive dragon about to rage!

  "I will destroy them, and I will get great satisfaction out of ending their lives. Not their terror, not their pain. I'll try to make it swift, in fact, but I will not aid them if they are wounded. Legally, I don't have to, either. If they are badly wounded, I will simply give them the mercy of a quick end. I see them as a cancer. You cut cancers out. You don't call the scalpel evil." She looked down at the ground and sighed, shoulders falling a bit.

  "If you want to change your mind about staying, I underst-" I cut her off.

  "No! I mean yes, I mean… I want to Journey with you two, yeah. I just… I mean, I feel horrible for their Pokemon, so I guess it's not a bad thing they die, I just..." She got an understanding look on her face, before a small, gentle smile crept onto it. It was so different from her usual look that I almost got disturbed.

  "I think I have an idea, actually."

  —

  Patricia Greenwood

  —

  I wasn't sure why I was receiving a call from Erin in the morning, but I'd take it. My insane daughter had apparently been acting 'more or less' normal according to Leaf, which worried me for an entirely different reason. We usually talked at night, but not for long, and usually through text. That wasn't enough to really gauge her current levels of madness.

  At the sound of the ringtone, Wukong looked over from his new usual spot on the back patio. In the rescue corner. Covered in them, actually. Most were just relaxing, but two Rattata were using his head as a makeshift battleground. They couldn't hurt each other, obviously, but they could push each other around. They were having a lot of fun, and Wukong was raging, as usual. He had gotten really good at keeping it in, though, and if he ever started to lose control, he would always gently remove everyone, carefully walk off my beautiful deck, and then leap over the fence before going on a howling rage spree through the forests.

  He was doing amazingly, and I was so thankful my insane daughter had provoked him that badly while literally unable to move. Without her, he might have tried Rage Fist by this point, but at this rate, he… might die in a few months.

  I just hoped he kept going after he did…

  I opened my Pokenav, seeing my daughters beautiful, spooky eyes fill the phone momentarily before Rotom backed off. She looked much better. She looked so happy to finally be doing what she had wanted to do since she… reached her afterlife. There was a gentle smile on her face as she greeted me.

  "Hey mom, good to see you. We can talk later tonight, but… we picked up a companion for our Journey. They're cool, and they despise Lance just as much as we do, since they're related and know him. But, uhh… Remember the whole 'I will viciously destroy any Team Rocket members I encounter, and have fun doing it' thing? I need a Patricia perspective, not an Erin perspective."

  It had certainly been a surprise to learn my daughters had met the Champion. Somehow, it was no surprise at all that Erin and Leaf had walked all over him for being disrespectful, but Dragonite was lovely, and liked my daughters a lot. Quite a lot, in fact, and she had been insistent on getting my number from them. I had been invited to a 'Horde-Home', apparently, but there was no way I could understand that! It was hard enough to understand most of her texts, honestly, but she was still lovely to chat with.

  Erin having 'fun' was a bit of an issue between us, but Raihan had given me a little perspective. Not much, truly. A person might enjoy fighting, but hate killing. It wasn't that strange to enjoy the process of killing them… and I know she would enjoy it… just like that dreadful song she had sung so happily.

  Almost like a confession…

  Wait, companion? I perked up with a wide smile.

  "Well, let's meet them! And of course, I think I can give some perspective for you, dear." She grinned at me and began to back away.

  "Love ya, talk to you tonight! We'll be in Cerulean, and the Gym Battles are tomorrow afternoon!" She turned and was gone. Rotom slipped into the video feed and winked at me, and I was suddenly nervous as it panned the camera around.

  Not as nervous as the young boy standing there, however. He looked more like Claire than Lance, with chin-length light blue hair and a slight, thin build. He noticed the look of mild shock on my face and got more nervous. I mean, it was even odds it may have been a boy. Leto wouldn't care, or let anything happen.

  Hell, Erin wouldn't let anything happen either! Probably more than Leto, actually! Certainly, now that I give it real thought… Leto was a Pokemon…

  "Young man, there's no need to be scared. Erin might actually bite you, but I won't." He burst into laughter and I smiled. Oh yes, he's been with them more than just a day. That's the laugh of 'oh Arceus, that might be accurate!'

  "Now, why don't you introduce yourself?" He blushed and stood a little straighter.

  "Sorry. Alex Blackthorn, Ms. Greenwood. Your daughters are…" I laughed at the look on his face as he trailed off.

  "Yes, they are quite something. So, I assume you know I run a Rescue Ranch?" He nodded. "Were you aware that every single one is from the Pewter incident? I got my permits and built this Ranch for them. Not to mention, any more of their victims she saves." He winced at my words even as he nodded.

  "Now, I also have to assume that Erin made her position perfectly clear. I don't like the thought of her being in that kind of danger, no, and that is a constant issue between us. I will not feel bad for what she does to the people who willingly wear that uniform, however. I have seen-" I glanced back at the rescues. Most were watching me. Not in any interest, I was just the only entertainment they cared about right now, other than the wrestling match on Wukongs head.

  "-They don't deserve mercy, in my opinion. I would much rather my daughter not be the one to do it… but I'm not going to be able to stop her. If I could, it would break her as a person, to let that kind of abuse go on, to turn a blind eye as the police or Rangers attempt to get there in time." He was wincing, and I made my voice lighter as I continued. I wasn't trying to hurt the poor boy.

  "Dear, it is perfectly natural to feel empathy, to not wish death on anyone, and I know Erin would have said that as well. Do you-" I cut off as his eyes widened in horror, mouth dropping open as he stared behind me, but I only smiled.

  There were three things that could provoke that reaction. Koffing and Maddy were inside, already watching the 'worse' Poke-dramas that ran in the mornings. My smile was warm as a furious, raging face slid right next to mine, looking at Alex. Wukong wasn't actually raging, not yet, but he probably only had another few minutes in him. The stunned boy on the other side of the camera finally stuttered out some words.

  "Wha- That- Alpha? How are- What?!" Oh dear, is this how Erin feels? It was a deviously delightful feeling, watching people's disbelief as reality grew strange before their eyes. Wukong actually laughed at the poor kid. Well, he got less rage-y and his eyes squinted. That was a laugh when he was this furious.

  "This is actually my second Pokemon ever, Mist- Wukong! After my Journey he returned to the wild as a Mankey, and I guess he was very successful. Leto found him while hunting and brought him back to visit, and he decided to stay!" Aww, his eyes were trying to leave his face behind!

  Wukong snarled at me, and I calmly turned to him. His scrunched-up face was less than a foot from mine, but I knew what he was asking when his eyes flicked towards the rest of the Ranch. There was only one reason he would ask me anything while he was this full of rage instead of just leaving.

  I gave him an easy, open smile as I spoke.

  "Thank you, dear. I mean, we still have plenty of meat in the new freezer for everyone, but if you want to go fight something… I've still got that Pidgeot you brought in that I'm eating off of… You're sure you can't run to the plains? Okay… I really want Ponyta tenderloin again… If you head west, then maybe some Mareep if you find any wanderers from Johto? Just Mareep, no Flaaffy or Ampharos. I don't want to eat any bipeds." I really didn't. I had come around on hunted meat completely, sure, but there was just something odd about the thought of eating a biped…

  He snarled again, took a few steps onto the grass, crouched low, then launched himself out of the entire Ranch with a howl of pure fury. I'd already apologised for his noise, but most had been surprisingly understanding, to my shock. It might have been the… I'm not sure what I would call it. Community outreach? I had offered Maddy and Wukong's help to people when they needed it. Maddy had made a single delivery to Pewter City, but Wukong? Wukong was popular. Why was my huge Alpha Primeape popular?

  Children, mostly.

  For some strange reason, the younger children of Pallet found Wukong fascinating, and the instant they had seen him returning from pulling a trailer of lumber for his first request, right past the playground, they had loved him. He didn't mind children either, not in the least. He actually liked children, finding them to basically be larger, far less annoying Mankeys, so he didn't care about playing with them, or them hanging off of him at all. Of course, they were children, and still infuriated him eventually, but he had never been mean the entire time I had Journeyed with him, and that hadn't changed. When he came close to raging, he just removed himself from the situation.

  The children got placed very gently on the ground and their heads were pat as he snarled, to the stunned looks of every adult present. He had looked around, found the quickest way out of town, then ran. Gently, he hadn't torn the streets up like he could have. As soon as he hit the treeline, however, he raged. For a while, actually, and you could hear him get further and further away, him and the crashes. He didn't destroy the trees, thankfully, but they certainly had some marks on their trunks… The parents, and children especially, hadn't been worried when he came back looking almost calm. Until it started to build again as children climbed and poked him, but he was in control of it.

  I had actually gotten more requests just for him to play with the children than anything, and it was great training for him, too. He spent most afternoons at the playground now even without a request, and the local parents had completely warmed to him, not to mention most locals. It was hard not to, when you saw an Alpha Primeape be kind and gentle to children, even as his rage grew and grew.

  Wukong could unleash his rage in the woods if he wanted to, and nobody really cared. Only a few people disliked him, and they just disliked everyone.

  I turned back to the stunned boy on the other side of the screen.

  "Sorry about that, dear. Erin gave him training to master his rage, so now that it's grown too great, he's off to go unleash it. Hopefully on some poor Mareep, because they are delicious." They really were. His face was mildly horrified, and I couldn't help but laugh.

  "I'm sorry, Alex, really I am. Believe it or not, the day I met Erin I only ate farmed Pokemon, usually just Pidgey, and I didn't eat much of it at all. I quickly got used to it with Leto and Erin's team here, though. I even skin and butcher them these days. I know she's probably done it once every other night at least, too. Leto likes to roast her food, that's for sure." His face grew pale and I chuckled.

  "She won't eat you, dear, she's just… Leto." He actually laughed, because it was true. Leto was her own definition. Other than vicious, obviously. He looked at the camera with a frustrated face.

  "I mean, I really wish she would let me sleep somewhere other than right next to her face, personally." Oh Arceus, Leto…

  Brilliant! Also vicious and mean, but brilliant!

  "Leto makes you sleep there?" My voice was calm and measured as I asked him. The poor boy shuddered, then grew angry.

  "Yeah, because she thinks I'm here to…. You know…" I let his face grow a little redder before I showed mercy on him and smiled.

  "Yes, I would assume she thought that. She still let you stay, though?" His face! It looked like he was about to explode! He looks like Wukong!

  "Yeah, because Leto doesn't care! She's only going to 'let it happen' when she decides to, because she's the pack leader! When she lets it happen! Lets! I don't eve-!" His face paled a little, but I laughed.

  "Let me guess. Erin is… Erin." He rapidly nodded his head. "Leaf is adorable, but Clefable is…" Once again, he rapidly nodded. I saw that one coming before they ever left, honestly. Erin was Erin, and Clefable was a lot to take in, not to mention Fraxure…

  "I mean, I like them as friends, sure, but no thanks. I just want to sleep without smelling rotting meat and feet." I burst into laughter, despite my best efforts.

  Oh no, Erin was a bad influence on me! I am laughing at this poor boy's misery!

  The door clacked open as Maddy waddled outside, Koffing following behind her. I watched his face pale, again, and began trying to stop laughing. Trying. He was frozen even through the PokeNav as Maddy stretched her way over, putting her huge face beside mine to view the screen. Koffing came over and bumped into my other shoulder. I was beyond happy I could actually touch her now! It had still taken a few days after the town hall, but now? Koffing let me and the other rescues touch her. Usually not for long, but progress was progress, and I had finally been able to groom her.

  She was a huge fan.

  "Alex, these are my Pokemon, Maddy the Fearow and Koffing. We're thinking about a name, but not sure yet." Koffing nodded, half-way hidden behind my head as she watched the screen and the rapidly-blinking kid displayed there.

  "D-Did you have a Spearow during your Journey, too?!" I laughed as Maddy glared at him.

  "No, no, Erin brought her home one night. Uncaught after she literally ran into Maddy in the dark. We enjoyed a quiet morning the next day and became friends, that's all." Koffing was obviously a rescue, I was not going to bring it up.

  Leaf rushed into view, almost knocking Alex aside as she beamed a smile at me, one that I returned.

  "Mom! I heard from Erin!" She turned to Alex and grinned, and I did not like how much it looked like one of Erins.

  "I kind of feel the same way, kind of sorta? I don't want to kill them, but I mean, if they come at me, Hope is going to annihilate them, so I don't really care, I guess… I feel bad, but not bad enough to care, not when it's their decision, I guess? I didn't choose Team Rocket for them!" Well, that was certainly a way to put it. Hope?

  "Who is Hope?" Leaf's smile grew wide, but Alex went pale. Oh… Arceus above…

  "Hope is Clefable's new name! When I named her, some of her family who also had names noticed and looked in, so Erin invited them to join us for a celebration, and they just popped out of thin air! Like fifteen Clefable! It was so cool!"

  Arceus, why?

  Why must you test me with both of them, now?!

  "Leaf… why did you name-" She cut me off enthusiastically.

  "Mom, it's fine! It goes badly when the fae doesn't like the name! You're basically forcing them into a future when you name them. Hope loves her name, though! Giggles was sooo jealous, and so was Duncan, but Stabby liked his name! Him and Erin went hunting for us that night and brought back a huge Persian! It just floated back to us behind them, it was so cool! Stabby loved Erin, and she loved him, but he didn't want to be someone's Pokemon, not that much more than what he already does, so he left… It was so much fun though! I didn't know Hope had that many family members with names!"

  Erin hunted down an apex predator in its own environment at night with a wild fae named Stabby, who liked his name! Who loved Erin! Who Erin loved!

  It just kept getting WORSE!

  "Oh! Mom! I named Fraxure, too!" I was able to give her a true smile at her words and expression, but it was hard. What the hell, Erin!? There's being comfortable with fae now for the reasons you have, you insane girl, and then there's that!

  "Well, Hope's name is pretty obvious, and so is his! What is he to other people? A Hazard!" I burst into laughter even through the sheer 'what the hell' bombarding my mind. Wow, that was perfect for him! I don't care how under control he got for her, he would always be hazardous to the health of anyone else in his general vicinity! And probably the surrounding vicinities and their environments, too!

  "Sorry to interrupt, Alex! Just wanted to let you know you're not crazy, Erin is." He started laughing, and I couldn't help but join in. Leaf calmed down and looked at me with a wide smile. It was an innocent smile, but I was right to worry about it.

  "We think we might have found you a gardener Pokemon, too! We just need to ask, first!"

  Oh Arceus above, what have they found…