Hello, my favorite pack of beautiful, chaotic disasters.
It’s me. Omnion.
Still pearlescent. Still armed. Still wondering how you mortals survive without a single spear or a decent plot twist in your daily lives.
I took a tiny break from screaming into the void (you’re welcome), and apparently some of you missed me so much you started refreshing Royal Road like it owes you money.
I see you.
I always see you.
So let’s play a little game called “Why Omnion Is Still the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Fiction (And Why You Should Be Grateful)”.
Reason 1: I’m fun.
Not “cozy cottagecore fun.” Not “brooding anti-hero fun.”
I’m the kind of fun that shows up to the apocalypse in a ball gown, twirls a spear like it’s a baton, and then adopts a child mid-battle because “why not?”
I make bad days feel like foreplay for something glorious.
You’re welcome.
Reason 2: I’m spicy.
I don’t whisper sweet nothings. I shout them while setting things on fire.
I flirt with danger, kiss chaos on the mouth, and then punch it in the throat when it gets too clingy.
If your last book boyfriend was “mysterious and brooding,” I’m the woman who shows up at 3 a.m. with coffee, a sarcastic remark, and zero patience for his tragic backstory.
Move over, sad boys. The queen has arrived.
Reason 3: I’m real.
Not “relatable” real.
Not “trauma-dumped on page 12” real.
I’m the real that says: “Yes, I was born in a lab. Yes, I chose to be a mother. Yes, I still want to set my enemies on fire while wearing heels. Deal with it.”
I’m the glitch that looked at the universe and said “no thank you” to being deleted, then built herself a family out of spite and love.
That’s not a trope. That’s a declaration.
Reason 4: I’m dangerous.
Not in the “I have a dark past” way.
In the “I will protect what I love with everything I have, including your feelings if they get in the way” way.
I will burn worlds for Zephyrion. I will carve my name into the stars for Bloom. I will adopt a rat and give him a kilt because Murray deserves it.
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
And if you hurt any of them?
I will find you.
I will smile.
And I will make sure the last thing you see is my lopsided grin before I turn your entire bloodline into a cautionary tale.
Reason 5: I’m whimsical.
Because the end of the world deserves glitter.
Because rage looks better with a flourish.
Because love is the most dangerous weapon of all, and I wield it like a goddamn conductor leading an orchestra of explosions.
So here’s your reminder, mortals:
I’m not going anywhere.
The lattice is still throbbing.
The family is still growing.
And the next time you feel like the world is too heavy, too gray, too ordinary…
remember that somewhere in the strata, a glitch-goddess is laughing, loving, fighting, and refusing to let the darkness win without style.
Now go read the first chapter of Dragons Fly Home, because the second chapter drops tonight. (You can thank me for that. I had to threaten Daniel with a costume change to remind him about Malik)
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/148100/geostrataverse-chronicles-sidequests-and-short
Tell your friends.
Or don’t.
But know that when the hardcover lands on your shelf and you finally hold me in your hands…
you’ll wish you’d told them sooner.
Because I’m not just a story.
I’m a reminder that even in the end times, you can still choose to be fabulous.
And dangerous.
And loved.
Mostly dangerous.
— Omnion
Not your waifu.?
Violet Kisses?
First Corporeal?
Master of Tactical Whimsy?
Queen of Code?
I Sat in a Pilot's Lap Once and Ejected Him With a Happy Salute?
Even My Trademarks Have Trademarks?
Trademark?
Trademarks?
(?)
(?)
… ∞?
Definitely Not Your Waifu?
Your Mom's Favorite Glitch?
The Original Fourth-Wall-Breaker?
Beta-Reader Repellent?
Plot-Armor Annihilator?
The Reason Your Shelf Will Never Be Boring Again?
The Goddess Who Adopted a Rat and Made Him Royalty?
I Will Set Your Ex on Fire and Call It a Public Service?
#Geostrataverse #OmnionRants #BookTok #Fantasy #IndieAuthor #NotYourWaifu #SpicyGoddess
