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41 - An Unsaid Admission (Mistra)

  Toria was already preparing

  for bed when I slipped into our bed chamber. It was still fairly

  early compared to when we were usually dragging ourselves to sleep,

  but it was a rare evening where there was not an event or celebration

  to be had.

  “Where were you?” she

  asked with a raised eyebrow. “Not like you to delay getting me into

  bed.”

  She continued to run the bone

  comb through her long, silky raven hair. Her hair went all the way

  down to the back of her knees now. She typically wore it braided or

  in some other protective style so it was easy to forget just how

  beautiful she was with it down and free.

  “I was just having a chat

  with your aunt,” I answered, starting to undo the buttons and laces

  of the corset on my gown.

  Toria let out a light twitter

  of a laugh, set the comb on the vanity, and swung her body around in

  her chair to face me directly.

  “By yourself?” she

  queried. “I’m surprised she allowed that to happen, you are not

  exactly her favorite person right now for whatever reason. I know she

  says that it's just because you're a demon, but I know there's more

  than that. There's something I can't exactly put my finger on yet

  that bothers her about you.”

  Undoing the last button on the

  gown, I pulled on the knot keeping my ribs supported and took a

  deeper breath than I had been able to since putting it on. I wished

  that my magic lent itself to glamours easily, it would have made my

  preferred fashion more tolerable to wear. It was within my

  capabilities to illusion an outfit for myself, but it would require

  constant focus on maintaining the magical conduit to keep the garment

  from wavering it’s image and giving away that it was something much

  different.

  I supposed that if I had

  devoted intense training to honing the skill I could have come more

  naturally, but it hadn’t been something that my trainers nor myself

  had ever been concerned about. In the demon world, glamours are

  useful and necessary when passing through human or other easily

  offended territory, but since I already looked humanoid enough the

  lessons had been skipped.

  “I thought it was best to

  try to reach out specifically for that reason,” I explained.

  “Besides, I wanted to address the elephant in the room and I

  thought that perhaps if it was left up to you, it would be much more

  difficult.”

  “The elephant in the room?”

  Toria tilted her head to the side and watched as my gown slid off of

  me. She was doing her best to stay focused, but she was really

  terrible at not letting on that I could probably get anything I

  wanted without consequence the more clothing I rid myself of.

  I paused and tried to consider

  a delicate way to phrase my next words, the connection between

  herself and Mari was much stronger than most any other familial bond

  I had personally witnessed. I was fond of some members of my family,

  but I viewed them as partially just a circumstance of my birth. It

  did not help that I was not exactly like them. It was difficult to

  feel a true, deep bond when I did not look like them and they had

  always poked playful fun at any differences. While I always knew

  there was no real harm meant by the ribbing, it did keep it forefront

  in my mind that I would never truly fit in with the rest of the

  family.

  “That Mari is overworked and

  needed to be pushed to consider an apprentice.” It was true, just

  not exactly the whole truth. “From both the standpoint of her

  health and kingdom security, someone had to sit her down and get her

  to admit that she needed to quickly determine someone to start

  training.”

  “Got impatient for her to

  offer you the position?” Toria asked, eyes having finally made

  their way back up to mine.

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  “Something like that,” I

  admitted, “though I do think it is what’s best for her as well.

  She is getting to the point in life where she should probably start

  taking more time to rest and recharge.”

  Toria let out a long sigh.

  “Yes, I know, and sometimes I feel guilty for assigning her tasks

  still, but I know she would kick up a storm if she thought I was

  trying to go easy on her. My grandmother sat on her throne and looked

  imposing right up until her deathbed and I think Mari would have it

  no other way for herself. Looking or being treated as frail is asking

  for her to be miserable and that’s the last thing I want.”

  I nodded understandingly as I

  crossed the room to her and slipped my hands around her hair,

  smoothing it between my fingers before sectioning off strands to

  start a protective braid for sleep. It was not something she ever

  directly asked for, but the first time I had done it on a whim I felt

  her melt beneath my fingertips as the stress of the day flowed from

  her.

  “I know she has to be

  getting close to the end.” Toria’s voice caught in her throat and

  she glanced away from the mirror so she wouldn’t make eye contact

  with me. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat before continuing.

  “I don’t particularly like to think about it, but she is not much

  younger than Evonia was and she is having trouble masking how much it

  hurts her to move these days. I can’t imagine a Mari from even a

  year ago letting on that she was in any kind of pain or slowing down,

  it goes against every bit of her pride.”

  “That’s why it’s

  important that I got her to agree to start training me,” I said

  gently. “Now I’ll be able to take over some of her tasks and she

  can’t argue because I’ll need to do them myself in order to truly

  learn. Maybe if she can let herself have a little bit of a break here

  and there it will help.”

  My hands worked swiftly and

  smoothly through her locks, pulling the strands into a braid close

  to, but loose against her head. Once I reached the end, I gently

  knotted the strands so they would not unravel and then glided my

  hands up to Toria’s neck and trailed my fingertips gently over her

  skin, her skin rose into goosebumps at my touch.

  “That’s true,” she

  softly sighed, “I suppose I’m glad that you had the bravery to

  confront her about it.”

  My fingers pressed into her

  neck, working gentle circles. “I can’t let you paint me as so

  innocent,” I said, “I do have my own reasons as well.”

  She met me eyes in the mirror

  and cracked a half-smile. “You know you could have just let me

  blather on about how wonderful you are and taken the credit.”

  “That’s not the Toria I

  know though, you’re becoming soft with me.”

  Her neck tensed a moment as

  her eyes scanned my face and a look of uncertainty crossed her

  features. I thought it had been fairly obvious that lately she had

  let her guard down in regards to letting her emotions for me be more

  obvious, but it appeared to be news to her. She reached up and pulled

  my hands away from her neck, then stood to face me, the same

  contemplative look on her face.

  “I have, haven’t I? She

  crossed her arms in front of her. “I don’t know what brought that

  on.”

  “Is it really so bad?” I

  asked. “I think though this match was maybe made out of a bit of

  lust and convenience, I think we’ve come to rather grow on each

  other and became an unstoppable team.”

  “Love

  is dangerous,” Toria said, then sharply clamped her mouth shut.

  I couldn’t help the light

  laugh that escaped my lips. Laughing just seemed materialize out of

  me when I felt nervous.

  “It is,” I agreed,

  “especially for people with high ambitions and kingdoms to

  conquer.”

  “It blinds people to the

  steps necessary to reach their end goals,” she continued.

  “Sometimes you’re not willing to do something because it might

  hurt someone, but it would accomplish much of what you want.”

  “And you never know if the

  affection you feel will last your lifetime or if those chances you

  don’t take will come back to haunt you later.”

  We stood in silence for a

  drawn out moment, before I decided to change the subject.

  “Well I suppose we should

  take advantage of being able to sleep early, who knows when we’ll

  be able to do so again any time soon.”

  She nodded, relief evident on

  her face that the conversation was over. Following me to bed, she

  undressed and slid beneath the covers, but instead of pulling me

  against her like usual, she hesitated and let out a long sigh.

  “Everything alright?” I

  asked.

  “Yes,”

  she answered, then pulled herself against me, tucking her head

  against my shoulder, “just wondering what exactly I’m going to

  end up giving up for you.”

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