Nyx appears in a room filled with baskets as the Donati loads the archives from the lab’s nursery.

  She steps forward and looks into one basket. It’s a newborn baby Felis with brown hair. Which of her siblings had brown hair again? Is it one of her brothers? Syx? Yeah, so this is Syx as a baby.

  She moves to the next crib, “This one has orange hair with brown spots. It’s Tyx.”

  A baby cries, and a moment later the door opens and a woman with long brown hair that flows just past her shoulders walks in. She’s of a modest build, but tall. Her eyebrows, which sit above her gentle brown eyes, are bushy, but trim. She has a nose that’s long and narrow. Her face is fairly attractive and has a bit of the paint that she’s seen the captain’s wife used to pretty herself up.

  It’s Natalie. The only adult from this place that Nyx has fond memories of.

  Natalie approaches the crying baby and picks it up. It’s Oyx. Of course it’s Oyx. Her little crybaby.

  Natalie’s nose wrinkles, and she speaks with a gentle voice, “Oyx, did you make a poopie in your diaper?” Another baby cries, and Natalie glances over, “Nyx? Hungry again? Momma will be there in a second!”

  As Natalie takes Oyx to a padded table, Nyx walks over to her own crib.

  Nyx isn’t sure what to think about seeing herself as a newborn. Her ears are tiny, as is her tail. Her eyes are large for her size, and are closed as she cries, and Nyx smells what must be baby smell and a dirty diaper. She’s wrapped tightly in a thin blanket with her tail sticking out.

  Nyx looks at each of the babies before skipping forward through the archives. She sees them sit, learn to crawl, learn to walk, learn to use the single toilet in the room, and learn to talk. Natalie is the only adult who ever enters the room as she feeds, changes diapers, and plays with them. Often they come back with marks and bandages on them, just as often crying.

  The further she goes, the more her memories stir. She remembers them putting her in dark rooms, asking her if she can see things. If she can, they make the room darker until she can’t see them anymore or crawl through narrow, poorly lit tunnels. Then, they would stick things into her eyes as she wailed at how much it hurt.

  The others, she didn’t know what happened to them. Oyx always seemed terrified and clung to Nyx or Tyx. Nyx pulled up their records, Oyx was Orbital Y-Generation eXperimental: Pioneer cohort; baseline microgravity acclimation and initial feline sensory integration for navigation in void environments.

  Nyx imagines them forcing Oyx through mazes in microgravity.

  Tyx’s file lists his as: Tethered Y-Generation eXperimental: Magnetic/electrostatic anchoring reflexes for free-fall maneuvering, with reinforced tail musculature for stability. He had a strong tail, which was the most flexible of all the siblings, and Nyx remembers how jealous she was when he used it to pick things up. But he refused to climb up onto anything. She remembered making fun of him for it, but now she realized they probably had him fall from heights and use his tail to move around or catch himself. He often came back with bandages on his tail, and it usually had bare spots.

  Then there was Fyx, listed as Fusion. A hybrid for metabolism and anti-aging under high radiation. She always got the least amount of food and often developed weird sores.

  Gyx, or Gravitic, was the biggest girl by far and a bully, though she was gone most of the time. Where she went, she never knew and was glad she went. Her file listed something about long-term low gravity and bone and muscle loss.

  Ryx, or Resilient, was the one with full black body fur. He was gone for long periods of time too, and often came back with sores and his fur falling out. His file says something about cellular repair mechanisms for cosmic ray mitigation and his fur helping with it somehow as Nyx doesn’t know what any of the terms mean.

  Syx, or Sensory, she remembered as having large ears and incredible balance. He could hear a whisper across the room, then walk over on his hands, before doing a roll and popping up from nowhere. She remembers him vaguely mumbling to himself during bedtime, ‘I don’t like spinning. Stop it.’ His file lists: ‘Heightened auditory and vestibular senses via ear modifications, enabling precise orientation in artificial spin-gravity simulations,’ but once again, Nyx isn’t sure what a lot of it means, but it doesn’t sound pleasant.

  Last was gray-haired Hyx, whom she rarely saw and only at mealtimes. Nyx always remembered he had bandages on his head and wires sometimes poking out of them. He never spoke, and they would get into trouble if they tried to speak to him. She read his file, ‘Advanced neural-feline interface for symbiotic AI augmentation, ensuring psychological stability and command responsiveness in isolation,’ and once again doesn’t know what any of it means.

  Nyx closes the interface and watches her younger self comforting Oyx when she notices a message from Cai: “Nyx, the waffles are ready whenever you want them. I picked a batch of strawberries and have some whipped cream whipped up! Or you can eat the strawberries with sugar and cream if you don’t want the waffles. Take your time, the food isn’t going anywhere. I’ve also got a surprise ready for you.”

  There’s an image of some sort of square-shaped soft thing with lots of square-shaped indentations. It looks delicious with the red thing with the dots all over it, the white fluffy stuff topping it.

  She doesn’t feel hungry in this place, but remembers Cai’s warning about staying too long in VR, and the waffle thing looks amazing. And then there’s the surprise.

  Nyx takes one last look as her younger self uses an interactive table to color with Oyx and Tyx and feels an emptiness. Those days would never come back. She didn’t want them back as memories of her time there returned. Yeah, she missed Oyx and Tyx. Had even tried not to think of the popping noises as gunshots so she could pretend they were alive somewhere. Even convinced herself that they were alive. When she found them, it didn't surprise her because she knew deep down the entire time they were dead. But it didn’t hurt any less.

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  It still hurts.

  It hurts so much.

  Even after fifteen years.

  Even after lying to herself.

  Even after trying to forget.

  She knew most people didn’t remember their lives when they were four or five years old, but sometimes those memories were all that kept her going. She’d focused on Oyx and Tyx. The games that they played together. Their drawings. And try to forget about the tests and needles. Those came in her nightmares.

  Nyx takes a deep breath, “Doniti, be endin’ this sparkin’ thing.”

  Her vision goes blank, and her head swims, and soon she’s awake in Cai’s chair. His scent lingered in the air. She also noticed her face was wet from tears, and she blushed, hoping Cai hadn’t seen her crying. She blushed even more when she realized that he’d been right there when she vomited all over the floor in the sensor room.

  Nyx gets up and stretches. Her body is stiff from sitting for so long.

  Her stomach brings her mind back to the present. She’s VERY hungry. She’d missed dinner and had vomited what she had eaten and was probably well past breakfast.

  Nyx leaves the room, poking her head out to look for the evil Blackie.

  He’s not here, so she enters the hallway and heads down.

  Cai’s at the table, looking at something on his wrist computer.

  Blackie is sitting on his lap, getting pet.

  Deep down, she gets jealous of the evil animal.

  Why is she jealous it’s getting pet? Just imagining herself sitting in Cai’s lap makes her blush furiously, but oh so tempting.

  “Cai!” she calls as she leaps down the scaffolding holding the plants.

  Cai smiles his beautiful smile. He’s excited to see her, and it feels amazing, “How were the videos?”

  She sniffs the air as she approaches. It smells sweet, with a hint of milk and whatever waffles are.

  She thinks and her ears droop, “I… I miss ‘em. I miss ‘em sparkin’ bad.”

  Cai smiles sadly, “I have people I miss too. People I think about every day.”

  Nyx looks between Blackie and her empty chair. Blackie is purring as Cai pets him.

  The evil creature even purred like her? And the way he’s looking at her, like he’s won something over her, just pisses her off.

  Nyx feels her fur floof. She’s bigger than Blackie. She can show him she’s his boss.

  So, she walks to Cai and sits on his lap and settles in as Blackie runs away so he doesn’t get sat on.

  As soon as she’s in Cai’s lap, she groans inwardly, and she can feel her ears droop in embarrassment, and she feels her face flush even more. But it feels safe here. She barely knows him. She should distrust him. But she wants this even if it’s a lie. She wants to think kind people like him are still out there, even if it’s a foolish hope.

  But what she’s seen from him and how he acts. His smell. Even with how he treats the animals. All of them make her think this is the real him.

  Cai chuckles, “You know Blackie’s gonna hate you even more now, right?”

  Nyx wants to jump out of his lap and hide from embarrassment. Why’d she sit in his lap?

  Nyx looks up and behind at Cai, who is looking down at her, his face closer than her heart can handle, “I’m not carin’ about that dum cat! Spark ‘em!”

  Cai shakes his head in dismay, “If you say so…” He looks towards the fridge, “So… I can show you your surprise now or we can get your food from the fridge?”

  Nyx’s stomach rumbles at the mention of food, “Dum it…”

  Cai chuckles again, “Looks like food it is!” Before Nyx can get off of his lap, Cai lifts her in a princess carry, “How would the princess like her morning feast?”

  The smirk on his face shows he’s teasing her and knows how embarrassed she is.

  Why did she sit in his lap!? “Goddum it, Cai! Be putin’ me down now!”

  “Hey! You’re the one who sat in my lap!” he says, setting her down.

  Nyx growls, “Yeah, it’s bein’ my goddum fault! I’m bein’ sorry!”

  “Listen, it was adorable, so I didn’t mind.”

  “I’m not bein’ sparkin’ adorable! I’m not bein’ a baby!”

  Cai paused, “You know something can be adorable without being a baby, right? I’ll have to show you later.”

  Nyx bristles and heads to the fridge, “Don’t care… not adorable…”

  She blushes thinking that Cai finds her adorable. Babies are very cute, which means he thinks she’s cute… But she’s not a baby! She can’t be adorable! Can she?

  Inside the fridge is a metal plate with three waffles on it, a metal bowl with the red things that are probably strawberries, and another with stuff that smells like very rich milk. The cream? Whatever it is, it smells sweet and divine. The strawberries too.

  “Here, I’ll take the bowls.” Cai reaches past her and takes the bowls out.

  Nyx grabs the plate. Come on, Nyx, be polite. “Thanks for cookin’.” Nyx. More. “It’s smellin’ good.”

  Good job Nyx!

  Cai pats her head, causing her to smile, “You’re welcome, Nyx.” He places the bowls on the table, “Now, while you’re eating, why don’t I show you your surprise?”

  Nyx sets the plate down and grabs a spoon Cai has left on the table and starts piling the fluffy cream and the strawberries onto the waffles, “Yes. Spark yes.”

  She eats as Cai opens a cupboard and pulls out an engraved metal box.

  Nyx looks at it.

  Engraved on the lid are her friends and even herself as a child. They’re all smiling as they stand next to each other as if posing for someone.

  Nyx immediately feels her throat catch. She knows that what’s inside is going to be something important.

  Nyx takes the box from Cai, who gives her a reassuring smile, then sits down.

  She feels her heart rate increase as she looks at the box.

  She opens it.

  Inside is a brushed gold bracelet with seven diamonds that glitter in the Donati’s light. It’s just the right size for her wrist. Underneath the bracelet are seven sets of hair, one side tied with ribbons matching the hair color.

  Cai leans forward, “Do you remember when I said I’d make diamonds from the ashes of your siblings? The Donati finished making this while you were in VR. I also took hair clippings from them before we cremated them so you could have something from them.”

  Nyx remembers and looks more closely and the perfectly cut gems. The most prominent and largest are two diamonds opposite each other. One is pure black with ‘My Adorable Crybaby Oxy’ inscribed in letters so small, she can barely read it. The other is orange with flecks of brown, ‘Tyx, my partner in crime.’‘ Set between these two are five other diamonds. A gray one for Hyx and Gyx, respectively. Fyx’s is orange. Ryx’s is black like Oyx’s, but brushed to emulate fur. Syx’s is brown. They’re all the color of their hair or fur with an inscription of their name next to each.

  Nyx finally put the bracelet on. It’s snug enough that she can wear it under her spacesuit.

  She then picks up Oyx’s hair. It smells faintly of Cai’s soap, and she holds it to her face, feeling the soft texture of her crybaby’s hair.

  She didn’t know when the tears started again, but she knew that this was the most precious gift anyone had ever given her.