Rebecca Pov

  We were back home, Dad was on the couch, probably exhausted from work, (working with people all day is exhausting), I then sat beside him so that I couldn't back out of telling him what I told Patsy, (as Patsy is awful at secrets and Dad did need to know).

  "Hey Sweetheart, you ok?"

  "Yeah, can I talk to you about something?"

  "Of course"

  "I, uh, I have a drinking problem"

  I didn't even ease the poor man into it like I had with Patsy, it was just fucking word vomit, (though I didn't have a name for it at the time, I'll thank my daughter for that one), and I had no time to try and stop myself from word vomiting about being a wet alcoholic.

  "Uh w w what makes you think that?"

  "Um, I've been hiding vodka bottles in the bushes, um, and I uh, I've been drinking everyday to feel normal"

  "Is that to do with the extra noise you hear?"

  "I told you about that?"

  "Yeah, during one your freak outs"

  "Oh, that makes sense, yeah it is to do with that, are you mad at me?"

  "I'm not happy that I have vodka hiding in my bushes, but I know it's not an easy thing to admit"

  It was like a weight had been lifted off my chest, and I didn't think that it would feel like that, you could ask why I told Dad if I didn't think it would help, but I didn't know why I felt this need to tell Dad about my drinking, all I know is that I needed to tell him, (it was probably to do with what nearly happened at the party).

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  "When was the last time you drank?"

  "Last weekend, but it was daily before I stopped"

  "That explains why you've been feeling sick, what happened last weekend?"

  "I was at a party that was in a park- please don't ask me how to get there because I don't know, I just follow Levi, and Micky the drunk challenged me to a drink off- I know it was a stupid thing to do, but I won that, he then revealed that he would've asked me for a blow job if he had won, I broke his nose and then Levi took me home"

  Dad looked shocked, but I don't blame him for that, as that whole confession was just diabolical now that I'm looking back on it here, (though I guess that the events in which this confession was describing were diabolical), but I honestly don't think I could've said it any better when I was 13, even if I cringe slightly now as an adult.

  "Is this an impromptu murder confession?"

  "No Dad, I didn't kill Micky, I was home at the time he was killed"

  "Alright so, is there still vodka in my bushes?"

  "A couple of bottles, I can get them out when we're done and you can watch me if you want"

  "No, I trust ya"

  "Why?, I've been hiding my drinking from ya"

  "Yeah, but you also admitted that you had a problem before it took over your life, which is better than I ever did"

  Yeah, this is how I found that the McCarthy's had a history with alcoholism, (I know that this doesn't help with the drinking stereotype that Ireland has, but I'm not sugarcoating anything), though I knew that Jack had a problem before he died.

  It was a few hours later and everyone else was in bed asleep apart from me, (insomnia's bitch, what else can I tell ya), so naturally I walked to where Levi's Dad's shop was, as I knew that Levi would have been awake, (he had been taking in the milk delivery for his Dad).

  "Hey Bex- shit are you alright?, you look off"

  "So I told Dad and Granbob about last Saturday and they were both shocked"

  "Yeah no shit Bex, you were hiding a whole active addiction from them"

  "I haven't drank since"

  "You haven't?"

  "No I haven't, the whole thing with Micky kind of made me realise that I had a problem and I stopped cold turkey"

  "Jesus Christ"

  What was it with me and fucking word vomit?, I literally didn't give Levi a chance to process any of what I had told him, (though I really don't get much better at that now I'm an adult), I was lucky that Levi knew me so well that it wasn't all that weird of me.

  "How have you been feeling since going cold turkey?"

  "I've been feeling sick to be honest with you"

  "That makes sense, you still feel sick?"

  "Yeah"

  "Uh, do you want a cuppa?"

  "Sure, will your Dad wake up?"

  "No, he's too tired from nursing Dede back to health"

  "Alright so"