Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Seven - The Law Exists for a Reason

  Okay, so as it turned out, getting explosives in Fortress ENE was... not easy at all.

  I called Jane about it and she told me that it was possible, but she wouldn't be able to help quite so easily. She had friends and friends of friends who might be able to get me some explosives from, basically, mining companies of some sort, and there were some old military surplus grenades that I might be able to buy, but the quality wouldn't be the best.

  Turns out, most explosives had a 'best before' date, and it was more important to respect that one than it was to respect the best before of, say, the chicken I had stashed in my minifridge back home.

  There were some places where I could outright buy explosive munitions, but those required a lot of ID verification, and they didn't just sell hand grenades to random D-rankers at eleven thirty at night.

  So, no big kabooms.

  I was a little upset about it, but honestly, I understood, so I couldn't make too much of a fuss. The rules were good and I understood why they were in place, I just didn't want them to apply to me.

  That didn't mean that I was without options, though. I outlined my problem to Jane, and she scoffed and said that if I had problems with dogs, then I didn't need hand grenades when a bit of pepper might do.

  Honestly, that was a good idea. So I stole it.

  Finding pepper spray was significantly easier. I walked into a convenience store and there was a shady rack in the back next to some other self-defence stuff. Plastic 'brass' knuckles, some small knives, a few single-use high concentration magic detectors for early warning. I looked around, then found three different sorts of pepper spray.

  I bought all three before I went over to the spice aisle and picked up two large baggies of powdered cayenne pepper. It wasn't perfect, but I figured it might be worth trying. Kobolds were noted online as having a very strong sense of smell, so I figured blasting them in the face with something like that might put them down.

  Then I rode across the city to the Redlad Welding building. I was tired, and could use a nap and some downtime, but I wanted to see what the interior of the portal looked like, and I needed to test my new weapons.

  Really, all we'd need was a quick and dirty way to keep the entrance area of the portal clear. If we could do that, then exploring the rest would be relatively easy. At least, I hoped.

  I took a few moments to check my gear over again right by the entrance to the portal. It was nice, the portal's magic constantly washing over me felt a little like getting spritzed by a cooling mist on a particularly hot day.

  I was pretty sure that if I just stood here for a few hours, my post-OP wounds would slowly heal up. Or heal up faster, in any case.

  Cracking my neck from side to side, I pulled out two cans of pepper spray, made sure my mask was on nice and snug, then fixed on a pair of old swimming goggles. They were hot pink and clashed horribly with the rest of my outfit, but the only ones who'd see me wearing this were going to die, so it was fine.

  Then I leapt in.

  Like last time, there were a lot of kobolds just within. Unlike last time, there wasn't an entire damned army of them. A quick count showed maybe ten. A lot of kobolds, sure, but not so many that I'd be swamped, and these were level less ready for me than they would have been later.

  I immediately pressed down on the tops of the two cans I held, then cursed as one of them did fuck and a bit of all. It had a stupid little plastic lock thing on the nozzle. Who had thought that was a good idea?

  I flung that one down, then sprayed the other around me like a boy in a gym locker room with his first can of spray-on deodorant.

  Some of the smell made it though my mask, and I immediately held my breath and fought against the urge to cough. I dropped the can when it got so cold that I was starting to worry, then I pulled out another and sprayed it out as well.

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  In the meantime, I moved back and around, looking for a spot to press my back against.

  The kobolds in the room were reacting to me, but not well. That was, not well for them. The nearest were choking and coughing, and those further back were hesitating.

  That was good. It gave me time to empty the second spray can in the air then flick it aside. I was fighting against my own desire to gulp down air, but the last thing I needed was to start coughing myself.

  Dammit, I should have checked the seal on my mask before coming in. Stupid.

  I reached to my side and pulled out my sword. A bit of Boredom-flavoured magic coursed through the blade. There was no noticeable difference, but it still felt like I had a better idea of where the sword was in relation to the rest of me.

  Then I darted forwards in a textbook lunge that I'd practiced a dozen times in half a dozen dungeons by now.

  The tip thumped into the neck of the nearest kobold, then I retracted and stepped forwards, only idly noting the squirt of blood that followed the end of my blade. I started to weave through the kobolds.

  I didn't have the grace and speed of Fran when she fought, and I'd seen videos of C-rankers and expert swordfighters sweeping through monsters with ease, making it look easy. I didn't have that. Not yet, in any case. I had a few quick jabs and slashes that I'd practiced at length, but they weren't always applicable to every situation, and I never knew exactly where to put my feet.

  I paused after skewering the fourth kobold. Hmm, maybe if I held my sword a little looser? I had a good idea of where the tip went, so really I needed to work on ways of getting it there faster, and I suspected that my grip was a little too tight.

  Was this really the time to be worried about my sword form? I... maybe? It couldn't hurt. Throw-away loops were probably the best time to figure out this kind of thing, and I was a little embarrassed that Fran, who seemed to have some good formal training behind her, saw me flailing around with a sword as if I was just bashing things with a sharpened stick.

  I reset myself, shifting back into a more neutral stance, then I approached the next kobold and tried to fight it properly.

  The kobolds were coming back from the surprise of my appearance and from the quick little gassing. A few were still rubbing at their faces, and one who'd gotten sprayed right in the face was still flailing on the floor, but otherwise, they were more or less back in fighting form.

  I knocked a spearhead aside, ducked under a thrust, then jabbed my sword forwards into the kobold before me's chest. The blade tip caught in its sternum after easily punching through its padded leather armour. I pressed my hand against the pomel, then used my greater mass to shove the tip in.

  Not exactly elegant, but it worked, only my sword was a bitch to pull out, and I was worried that if I did that wrong, I might snap the end off. So, not a good move.

  I ducked back and then took a long step away from a larger, more aggressive kobold. He had a sword, or sorts. A long piece of wood with a metal blade running along almost its entire side. It was a little crude, but that didn't mean that it didn't look lethal.

  He swung, and I wove back, keeping some distance between us. When he went for an overhead swing, I dove in, stabbed him in the gut, then back out before he could bring his sword down onto my head.

  He was sweating, grunting, and bleeding, but was still in the fight. I parried his next attack, then moved in, let go of one hand, and punched him in the face.

  He retaliate with a hard kick that caught me in the shin and sent my crashing down.

  "Ow," I grunted as I laid there.

  He chortled, then raised his sword high for a finishing blow.

  So I pulled out my revolver and shot him in the chest point-blank.

  Turning, I picked my sword back up, dusted off, then got back into a one-handed stance. "C'mon, the rest of you," I said. "I obviously need a bit more practice."

  ***