There was a moment of silence as the three beings stared at each other in the dungeon passageway.
“I was going to ask the same,” Flint said. “How much would it cost for me to take over Jeremy's body?”
“That's enough of that,” Banxi said. “The dungeon does not take sides in adventurer conflicts. You will have to work that out on your own. And Flint is correct. I'm here to evict you from the first floor of the dungeon. If you hadn't been so close to completing this floor, we'd have kicked you out weeks ago.”
Jeremy sniffed. Figured. “Are you sure Flint isn't some soul parasite monster?”
“No, Jeremy. Flint is not a soul parasite,” Banxi said. “There are no soul parasites on the lower floors of the dungeon.”
Jeremy looked skeptical. “What's the next floor of the dungeon like?”
“Well,” Banxi pulled himself up to his three feet of height and looked pleased with himself. “While I can't give you details, I can tell you the second floor of the dungeon is the fun floor. You have worked hard and killed lots of monsters. The second floor is where you can relax and enjoy yourself.”
There was a quiet snort from Flint.
“Really?” Jeremy asked.
“Yes.”
“Great. So, can I buy some decent food?”
“Certainly,” Banxi said, holding out a dungeon ration bar in a gold wrapper. “I have some high-grade dungeon rations that will raise your Strength, Endurance, and Vitality. 10dc per ration.”
“I mean real food: Pepsi, potato chips, hamburgers.”
Banxi folded his hands across his chest and once again pulled himself to his full three feet of height (including his pointed green hat). “You are referring to junk food, Jeremy. What kind of horrible dungeon would we be if we sold junk food to children?”
“I am sick of dungeon rations!” Jeremy shouted, throwing the dungeon ration at Banxi. It bounced off the garden gnome's pointed hat. “And hamburgers are not junk food!”
Banxi didn't blink. “We sell healthy food here, Jeremy, to make you grow up big and strong. You can eat what we give you, or you can go hungry.”
Jeremy glared at Banxi. “If the rations I've been eating have strength bonuses, why is my Strength attribute not going up?”
“That is the price of your poison resistance, Jeremy. Ingesting poisons to increase your resistance has long-term effects on your Strength, Endurance and Vitality.”
Flint sniffed. “Told you.”
“So should I stop?” Jeremy asked.
“The choice is yours, Jeremy, but I would point out that there are many poisonous monsters in this dungeon, and, in some cases, poison resistance is more useful when fighting these monsters than an extra point or two in Strength, Endurance, or Vitality.”
“Fine. I'll take a hundred high-grade dungeon rations,” Jeremy grumbled. The chance to raise three stats at the same time without killing a bunch of monsters was too good to pass up.
“Very good, that will be 100 high-grade rations for 500dc,” Banxi said.
“You said they were 10 dungeon coin apiece,” Jeremy said. “That comes out to 1000dc.” He wasn't the greatest in math, but he knew the basics.
“The price is the price, Jeremy. If you don't want to buy them, you don't have to.”
“Okay,” Jeremy said. “I'll take 100 high-grade dungeon rations at 10dc apiece for 500dc.”
“Very good!” Banxi said. 100 food bars appeared in midair and fell to the floor, and 500dc were removed from Jeremy's inventory.
That brought Jeremy to the next problem. “And I need a bigger pack.”
“Excellent,” Banxi said, pulling up a holographic image of his merchandise. “As you see, we have an excellent selection of every kind of inter-dimensional storage device.”
Jeremy poked a ring image.
A ring of holding with 150 cubic meters of storage space. 200,000dc.
Jeremy sighed. Good grief. This again. “Remove everything worth more than 10,000dc.”
Five backpacks remained, all about the size of his own. He examined them one at a time.
Used dungeon pack, three times the space inside. 5000dc.
Used dungeon pack, three times the space inside. 4500dc.
These were only a little better than what he had. Why couldn't monsters drop inter-dimensional storage devices?
Banxi cleared his throat. “I should tell you there are significantly better packs in the fifteen to twenty thousand dungeon coin range, and you have yet to sell any of your stuff.”
Jeremy sighed. “I hate your prices.”
Banxi sniffed. “My prices are highly competitive. You will not find inter-dimensional storage units any cheaper, I assure you.”
“I don't suppose I could get a 15,000dc pack for 7,500dc?”
“You are being ridiculous, Jeremy. The price is the price.”
Unfortunately, a much larger pack was something Jeremy desperately needed. “Let's go to The Fun House. That's where I keep my stuff.”
A lurching sensation of sickness, and Jeremy was back in The Fun House, along with his pack and dungeon rations.
“A warning would have been nice,” Jeremy grumbled when he'd recovered. He pointed at a big pile of low-quality items in the middle of The Fun House floor. “I'd like to sell all of this.”
“Ah,” Banxi said. He examined the pile of stuff Jeremy had accumulated—mostly low-quality weapons that Jeremy would never use.
“Nine hundred is the best I can do,” Banxi said.
“How about the axe?” Jeremy asked. “It's been useful, but carrying it around is more trouble than it's worth.”
Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
“The Lord of the Clown's axe? 5000dc.”
“Deal,” Jeremy said, trying to think of anything else. “Could you identify some things for me? My own Identify doesn't work on them.”
“Of course,” Banxi said.
Jeremy showed him the Big's magic items.
“Ah, very nice,” Banxi said, examining the magic smithy. “As a dungeon, we don't deal in items used for crafting. The magic smithy will craft magical devices, but it only works with magic crafting materials. I'd give you 1000dc for it, but I suspect you could get a much better price elsewhere, assuming you don't use it yourself.”
“Where can I get magical materials?” Jeremy asked.
“We don't deal in magical crafting materials, but some of the monsters on the upper floors may drop such items.”
“And what about the seeds?” he asked.
“I can't tell you anything more than you already know,” Banxi answered. “Plant them, and see what grows.”
“That doesn't help—oh yeah, how about this?” Jeremy showed him the pendant Clown Lord had given him.
“Interesting.” Banxi studied the mana-gathering pendant. “Don't see too many of these anymore, not since the phoenix became endangered. A mana-accumulator charm. I should warn you, using this item comes with a small risk of spontaneous combustion and death. I'll give you 10,000dc for it.”
“No thanks.” It was one of the most useful items he had.
But with the sale of the other items and adding 5900 to his 11,856dc gave him 17,756dc. Adding his 3000dc reward gave him a total of 20,756dc. “What kind of backpack can I get for under 20,000dc?”
Banxi was right. These packs were significantly better. Several packs the same size as his own had 10 times the storage space for 16,999dc, or five times the space of his current pack. He found a pack twice the size of his own, with seven times the storage space, for 13,999dc. It was used, but in otherwise excellent condition. That would give him seven times the storage space he had now. “I'll take that one.”
“Excellent.” The pack appeared in front of Jeremy. “Will there be anything else?”
“Actually, yes,” Jeremy said. “I'd like to buy some clothes. All I have is this clown suit.” The T-shirt and jeans he'd entered the dungeon with were falling apart. Fortunately, his clown suit appeared self-cleaning and self-repairing.
“Of course,” Banxi said. Images of clothing appeared. The pants and shirts available weren't like any he'd worn in his world. They reminded him of clothing he'd seen at a Society for Creative Anachronism convention, but they served their purpose and were surprisingly comfortable. No zippers, though, only ties and buttons. He bought five sets, totaling 50dc.
“Are these clothes self-cleaning and repairing?” Jeremy asked.
“No. We have clothes that are, but they start at 1000dc per outfit.”
“That's okay then. And what about personal items? Toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, that sort of thing?” Jeremy asked. After not doing any of those things for months, he'd gotten used to it, but still.
“We offer those things, Jeremy, but you don't need them. The dungeon absorbs dirt and grime, as well as the impurities from your teeth.”
That made sense. He'd found he'd gotten to a certain level of dirty, but no dirtier. It figured the dungeon was cleaning him. He was happy not to have to bathe or brush his teeth.
Jeremy had one more question. “What would have happened if I'd left the spider queen's lair after wounding her? Instead of going after her as I did.”
“Impossible to say for sure,” Banxi said. “You might have gained several character levels. If you had engaged the spider queen in combat and then run away to hide, the queen would have produced thousands of offspring and hunted you through the first floor of the dungeon. You would, of course, have had to kill the queen and all of her children before your boss battle concluded, and you could leave the first floor. The dungeon has theorized that adventurers employing this strategy could gain many additional levels, but so far, no adventurer has taken advantage of this.”
“I see,” Jeremy said. There was no way he could have prevailed against a force like that. Flint had been right. Running away from the queen hadn't been an option.
“If that's everything, Jeremy, you have one day to leave this floor of the dungeon, or we'll forcibly evict you.”
“Do you know about Mezirma and his three cronies? They killed my friend and ate her.” Jeremy sat down next to his new used pack, arms around his knees.
“Killing and eating a fellow adventurer qualifies as mean kid behavior,” Banxi responded, shaking his head. “On a positive note, the dungeon offers a 'Mean Kid Killer' title. To get it, you have to kill a mean kid.”
“On my to-do list,” Jeremy said.
Flint snorted.
“You may find me at random times in dungeon safe rooms and always in the last safe room of each floor of the dungeon before you journey to the next. May good fortune be with you, Jeremy, and Flint.” Banxi vanished.
After a bit of experimentation when packing, Jeremy discovered he could only put his smaller dungeon pack into the larger one if it was empty. It seemed inter-dimensional storage devices couldn't combine. He supposed he could carry both packs, but that would be tedious, and at this point, unnecessary, as he had plenty of storage space. He stored the old pack in the large one with the rest of his stuff.
He'd tried one of the high-grade dungeon rations he'd just purchased. It tasted even worse than the low-grade dungeon rations, but he kept eating. He was still a joke compared to real adventurers.
He pulled up his stat sheet.
Name: Jeremy Wilkins
Race: Human
Sex: Boy
Age: 10
Character Class: Child-Rogue
Level: 13
Health: 11
Mana: 7 (+18 rapid recovery) (Charmed object)
Attributes:
Strength: 12
Endurance: 5
Vitality: 6
Dexterity: 17
Agility: 18
Perception: 23
Intelligence: 6
Wisdom: 5 (+1 ring of wisdom)
Will Power: 4
Charisma: 4 (+1 clown nose)
Extra point: 1
Active Skills:
Identify: 5
Sneak: 8 (+2 magic shoes) (+1 camouflage ring)
Detect Traps: 7
Charmed Object Activation: 3
Passive Skills:
Enhanced Physical: 2
Poison Resistance: 7
Mental Fortitude: 4(max)
Pain Tolerance: 4
Skills:
Melee Weapons: 5
Archery: 2
Knife Throwing: 2
Spells:
None
Dungeon Account:
6707.86dc
Titles:
Big Slayer
Gifts and Blessings:
Blessing of the Spider Queen. 50% increase in poison resistance. 20% increase to Sneak.
He'd come a long way since he'd fallen into the dungeon, but he had a long way to go. There was nothing more for him on this floor. He put on his new pack.
“Any chance you could stay here and wait for another adventurer?” Jeremy asked Flint.
“I'm afraid you are stuck with me,” Flint responded. “And considering you would have died if I weren't looking after you, you should be a bit more grateful.”
“I'd have been fine,” Jeremy said. “But while we're on the subject of your uselessness, back in the spider queen's lair, you pushed my axe off the ledge so it fell on the spider queen. That means you can move objects. If you want to get to the seventh floor of the dungeon, you should use this ability to help me out.”
Flint looked away. “About that. I'm unable to move objects on my own, and though I did push the axe, the strength to do so came from you. I tapped into your soul. So technically, it was you who moved the axe.”
“You can tap into my soul?”
“With difficulty, yes. What I did was very dangerous. If I damaged your soul, you would be physically unharmed but would lack the will to move, remaining a stationary, drooling husk, until a monster ate you. This would be a huge tragedy, as I would remain stuck in this dungeon.”
“I see,” Jeremy said, suddenly interested. “Would it be possible to strengthen my soul so you could move objects more easily and possibly heavier objects?”
“I don't know. The soul is a mysterious, complex thing. Even expert soul mages know little about soul strengthening.”
“I'm going to have you lift some light objects to see how this soul thing works and if we can make it stronger. Wait... You don't have a soul, do you?”
“It's not that simple,” Flint said.
“You have no soul; that's why you're sharing mine. Soul thief.”
“I assure you, Jeremy, I am not a soul thief.”
Jeremy pulled out his spider silk thread. “Let's see you lift this thread.”
Flint reached out to touch the thread. It went through his fingers. “As I was saying, this isn't easy. I was able to tap into your soul's energy during your fight with the spider queen because of your extreme fear and agitation. Is that Mezirma behind you?”
Jeremy jerked and spun around. His pulse raced. Of course, there was nothing there.
“As I suspected.” Flint held up the thread of spider silk. “I can tap into your soul's energy when you're sufficiently frightened.” The thread slipped through his fingers again, falling to the floor.
“I hate you,” Jeremy said with a sigh. He'd felt an odd twinge when Flint tapped into his soul, but otherwise was fine.
Jeremy walked through the dungeon passageways he knew like the back of his hand. He stepped back onto the red path, walking past the place Mezirma had killed his friend. There was no sign that anything had happened here. The dungeon absorbed everything.
He kept going. The path took him to a long flight of stairs that ended with a door. He put on his spider-silk cloak, activated Sneak, pulled open the door, and entered the second floor of the dungeon.
This concludes Jeremy's stay on the first floor of the dungeon. I plan to divide this story by dungeon floors. I realize approximately 150 pages per floor isn't much, but this dungeon has seven floors.
In the future, I'll be spending more time on other projects I hope people like more, so I won't be posting as often. I apologize to my 19? followers for this.
