It’s Saturday night. I was just in my Oblivion telling Yelena about my date with Vance. I told her I couldn’t tell if he likes me but that maybe it’s too early for him to know. I know I’ve started to like him, but it’s too early for me to know how much. Yelena wants me to be patient to see in which direction my feelings grow. But she also said I shouldn’t wait too long to ask what his intentions are. Is he looking for a serious relationship, something casual, a friendship, or nothing at all? And then this is the part that turned everything upside down…

  “Is it possible he’s seeking to benefit from a relationship with you?”

  “You mean like sex?”

  “No.”

  “What, money?”

  “No, Orly. Not money.”

  “Benefit how then?”

  “You’ve told me how interested he is in vampires. ‘Obsessed’ was the word you used. Has he come out and said he wishes to be one?”

  “No. Not to me, at least.”

  “Well if he does wish it, you could make that possible for him.”

  “So he’s just using me to turn him?”

  “Hopefully not, but you don’t know him very well.”

  We kicked that idea around a while, me more than Yelena, and me defending Vance even though Yelena wasn’t attacking, so it was actually me defending Vance from myself, but soon I had to leave Yelena and come back to the true world because Darcy was taking me out to Westwood to see a movie and I had to get ready.

  I’m back from the movie. I’d never been to a theatre like that before. It was filled with pairs of reclining chairs and a table between them because you can order food and drinks, including alcohol, while watching the movie. We took a long time looking at the menu, but finally we ordered warm pretzels with jalape?o cheese dipping sauce, filet mignon sliders, and tandoori chicken skewers. To drink I had a sparkling grapefruit drink placed before me, but once the lights went down, Darcy and I alternated drinking espresso Martinis, served to her one by one, one after another, for the duration of the show. Pretty quickly we were drunk. I don’t even remember the movie. What I do remember is what we talked about before it started.

  “Has a mortal ever asked you to turn them?”

  “No mortal has ever lived long enough around me to ask,” she laughed, but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t joking. “My blood isn’t old enough yet anyway so they’d be barking up the wrong skirt,” she laughed again.

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  “You’re in a good mood tonight.”

  “I got an amazing new high pressure handheld shower head. None of that lackadaisical water efficiency crap. It’s mounted low so I can use it while lying in the tub. Seriously, if I wasn’t immortal I would’ve died from a stroke.”

  “Oh my god, stop.”

  “I’m just illustrating the point that I’ll never need a mortal lover.”

  “Who said he was my lover?”

  She laughed. “You just did. Right now. I wasn’t talking about anyone specific, but clearly you are. You don’t have a servant, so what else is there? Wow, Orly, you finding a lover is a big deal!”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “You know what I mean. We’ve talked about this before. We assumed you’d be forever without a partner because you’ll always appear to be a child. Have you somehow found someone who’s not a sicko? How does that even work?”

  “It doesn’t, cuz I don’t even think he likes me like that.”

  “Who is he?” she asked just as the lights lowered. And then right as the opening credits rolled, she whispered, “Wait. You’re talking about the guy who gave you the dictionary.”

  “Yeah,” I whispered back. “I’m starting to wonder if he’s only interested in me because he wants to be a vampire.”

  “Possible. Hard to say though. Usually we don’t have mortal friends who know what we are. Did he ask you to turn him?”

  “No.”

  “Then what makes you think he wants to become a vampire?”

  “He wears fake fangs. Like on the regular. Doesn’t that say everything?”

  But before she could answer, someone shushed us. People in LA are really serious when it comes to movie watching. We didn’t follow them home and kill them after the show was over though. We didn’t even turn our heads to see who it was. We knew they were right. We needed to shut up and not ruin the movie for everyone. I hate people who do that and I was being one of those people. Truth be told, I was glad I was shushed when I was. I didn’t feel like talking about Vance using me anymore. Darcy must have picked up on this because that was when she slid the first espresso Martini to me.

  But even though we stopped talking and didn’t switch to telepathy, I kept thinking about it. And that’s probably the main reason I don’t remember the movie. Before he showed up that night at the Otoboke Beaver concert, maybe Vance finding me, of all vampires, wasn’t just by chance. Maybe he sought someone like me out. Maybe I was the result of a thorough search for someone to turn him. Maybe he tried getting Vanessa to turn him and for whatever reason, she said no. So maybe he’s just moving on. Looking for the next girl who can make him immortal. Even though I had already been completely confused by Vance, I was happier before Yelena planted this seed in my brain that he was just after immortality.

  Maybe Vanessa’s blood isn’t even old enough to turn him. Typically one needs to be seventy or eighty years a vampire for their blood to be strong enough to turn a mortal. I have no idea how old she is. I’m thinking she is old enough though. That’s why she’s wise enough to turn him down, wise enough not to be charmed and be used so easily. The older vampires, the Ancients especially, rarely turn anyone at all.

  I’m different. I was turned at twelve and have been a vampire for only twelve years after that, yet I can turn a mortal because I have all of Mirela’s blood in me. If Vance is wanting me to turn him, he must know this. Is this why he picked me? I’m probably the youngest, most immature vampire on earth capable of turning a mortal. That makes me the easiest vampire to take advantage of.

  Yelena is right. How could I be so blind?

  I feel like I see him now in such a bad light. And I don’t like it. Because I’m very fond of him. But I guess a lot of that fondness is because I want to believe he’s genuinely interested in me, not just romantically, but that he values me as…as I don’t know what…as someone worthwhile.

  I need to see him again. That I do know.

  And if I scribble him, I’ll know everything.

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