My imaginary friend is treating me like a child.

  “Look at me, look at me and little by little be sleepy.”

  I can kind of understand why she is confused, given the quality of the drawings I recently made that are hanging in the room, but I am very much a teenager already.

  Singing me a lullaby is kinda weird, and singing me five of them is… Well, it’s actually kinda nice.

  I can’t fall asleep anyway, so it’s better than just sitting in bed and staring into the darkness.

  “Look at me, look at me and you’ll see the dreams will come.”

  I always liked this song and Ami is actually good at singing, which is slightly annoying now that I think about it.

  Does she really have to be superior to me in every conceivable way?

  I gotta admit though, if I’m going to get free bed time concerts I prefer it if she sings like this rather than like me.

  “Close your tired eyes, so wet from crying.”

  I’m not crying, my pillow just started to leak in the middle of this very emotional performance.

  I wonder if I’m being too defensive over song lyrics.

  “Close them and you’ll see that no one will hurt you at all.”

  Sounds like a trap, I’m going to get hit by an imaginary pillow aren’t I?

  Well, I’ll dance to her tune anyway, because closing my eyelids is the only dance move I can properly pull off.

  “Close your tired eyes and know that I truly love you.”

  I can’t see with my eyes closed but I can only assume she looked at the mirror while singing that line.

  The words sound too emotional for Ami to be looking at anything else.

  “Hmm hmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmm hmmm hm hmm hmm”

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  I can’t remember the lyrics but I’m pretty sure this isn’t how the last verse goes

  So much for her perfect singer facade, I finally found a flaw in her

  It’s a flaw I share, but as far as I’m concerned a draw is just another name for victory, because so far I only ever lost

  But really, how does this song go? This is going to drive me crazy all night

  “You should be sleeping, why are you picking up your phone?”

  I can’t sleep anyway, might as well look up the lyrics instead of obsessively trying to remember them for the next few hours.

  This whole lullaby thing was doomed to fail anyway, I can’t understand why babies find them helpful.

  It felt more like a way to pass the time than something that will actually help me sleep.

  “Check another website Mai, this one has three extra lines for some reason.”

  She is refusing to admit she forgot the lyrics, it seems like I thought her well.

  The answer to all of life’s great problems is either denial or coffee, and it's about time she realized it.

  I should play along to reward her good behavior.

  “Must be some kind of extended version.”

  “Yeah, that must be it. Wouldn’t it be fine if you just whispered instead of typing on your phone?”

  “No, the monsters will hear.”

  I finally have a good excuse to type instead of speak, no way I’m giving it up.

  “Should you be calling your mom a monster?.”

  “No, that’s why I said monsters, plural, because she is definitely scarier than just one.”

  “Okay, you can type, it makes your answers longer anyway. It’s a nice change of pace.”

  Don’t you dare raise your expectations of me again, I gotta limit myself to three words or less and maybe add my usual stutter to the text.

  “S-sing?”

  “I think it’s a great idea to switch how you talk and how you type, can’t wait to hear you speak properly tomorrow.”

  “You dream too big.”

  “You should dream bigger too.”

  “If I could dream on command we wouldn’t be talking right now.”

  “So do I keep singing or are you giving up on falling asleep?”

  “It wasn’t helping anyway.”

  “Impossible, everything I do helps, it’s your ears that are the problem.”

  No, it was my brain that insisted on coming up with dumb comebacks to every line in the song.

  Also, I don’t think my ears actually play a part in our interactions, but I should probably appeal to her over inflated ego if I don’t want her to sulk.

  “The singer was just too good so it was too engaging to fall asleep.”

  “Ah, yes that makes sense, I’m too amazing for my own good.”

  Amazing right , definitely not gullible or narcissistic.

  “Well, since you can’t sleep anyway, I’ll let you enjoy my greatness.”

  Seemingly satisfied with my slightly biased review of her performance, Ami starts singing again with a huge smile on her face.

  I probably won’t get any sleep tonight, so I might as well just enjoy the show. .