My imaginary friend is especially bad at naming things.

  The creature on the screen is either a tiny dragon or a very expressive candle, based on how its tail is on fire, and the name she suggested won’t be fitting to either of those.

  “What are you waiting for, just tell Mai junior her name and let’s start this game.’

  I really think we should go with a more classic dragon name, something tough that might show up in legends, like Meowy for example.

  I’ll just type it up and see what she thinks

  “Meowy doesn’t fit her at all, Mai junior is a much better name.”

  She truly is horrendous with this all naming thing, but I’ll let her have her fun.

  I type in the awfully mismatched name and the girl on the screen takes one of the balls off the table.

  Our self proclaimed rival picks another ball for himself and now it’s time for us to battle.

  Mai junior, this is your time to prove that you deserved a much better name.

  “We can’t let Mai junior fight, she is too young, just run away.”

  Running away is always my first choice in any situation, but the game won’t allow it in this fight.

  “C-can’t run.”

  Ami isn’t showing great potential as a trainer so far, but I can’t lose faith quite yet.

  I open the list of moves Mai junior already knows how to do, and wait for her to make her choice.

  “Hmm, scratching your friends on purpose is obviously wrong, but growling at them is rude, isn’t there an option to just give them a toy so they can play together or something?”

  The game barely started and she already got too attached. I'll have to take command and show her how much Mai junior just loves hurting others.

  See, the little lizard shaped candle has a huge smile on her face when she scratches the enemy turtle, she is absolutely loving this.

  “Mai, you are supposed to be the responsible adult here, making your pet fight right after getting it is horrible.”

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  “I-it’s their job.”

  The little psychotic monsters just want to work, don’t take it away from them.

  Ami makes an horrified expression as the turtle dashes towards Mai junior and slams into her with its body.

  Our turn again, and since Ami is already growling next to me, I’ll have to go with scratch again.

  The fight ends with our great victory and Mai junior is healed using the power of friendship, or maybe it was the power of rivalry, the dialogue doesn’t really explain the process.

  Now it’s time to hit the fields and beat the unsuspecting wildlife into imprisonment and submission.

  A little rat appears from the grass and Mai junior leaves her little circular house to deal with the rodent.

  “We can run away this time right?”

  “Y-yes.”

  “Run then Mai, protect our daughter.”

  I never signed any adoption papers, and Mai junior obviously grew from the last fight, there was a level up pop up and everything.

  We can’t just baby her, Ami is being way too overprotective.

  “Hey, it’s my turn to play and I said we are running, I don’t want Mai junior to get hurt.”

  Fine, if we are going to protect Mai junior we need to catch more monsters.

  “C-catch it.”

  “Can we catch it without fighting?”

  I’m not sure actually, let’s just throw a ball and see what happens.

  “You threw a ball right at its face, Mai this is no way to treat animals.”

  The rat escaped the ball and Ami has something else to complain about, so overall a spectacular failure.

  There is no way to move forward in the game without having Mai junior fight or throwing things at what she defines as animals, and we can’t just leave our daughter alone in this world and go do something else.

  Wait, maybe we can, there is an off button right at the top of the console after all.

  “This game has no sense of humor, why won’t it let us progress without fighting.”

  Truly, they were lacking in vision when making it.

  “Okay Mai junior, I hate to be a bad influence like your other mom, but we need you to hit back here.”

  Despite Ami’s attempt to turn our daughter against me, Mai junior only acted once I gave her permission, so I’m clearly the favorite parent here.

  Mai junior hits a little too hard and the little rat faints, causing her to level up.

  “Happy birthday, Mai junior.”

  Ami decides that this event signifies her birthday and bursts into song, and we find ourselves face to face with a very aggressive passerby.

  “Wanting to fight just because we made eye contact, this is ridiculous. Teach her a lesson Mai junior.”

  I don’t think a sheltered child like her would be the best teacher when it comes to manners, but I’ll make sure she does her best.

  The fight ends with an easy victory and after a few less celebratory birthdays, Mai junior learns how to breathe fire.

  Ami redefines the ball throwing as a bonding exercise with local orphans, and we pass the day watching the growth of the children.

  This is a very weird family, but a nice one nonetheless.