I may know some of them, so let's go through them one by one.

  I took Richard off my shoulder and put him on top of my pack. He stretched his tentacles out like a sun-worshiping hedonist. I couldn't believe that I'd been complaining about the desert heat a couple of days ago. Because now I don't think I could get enough of it in my bones. I'm sure I'd approach [Heat Stroke] if I sat in the sun for an hour, but right now? Right now I needed the chill of [Above, As Below] out of me.

  "Okay, the first one is Bacon of Transport." Bacon? That couldn't be right.

  Bacon? Richard rolled in the sand, granules sticking to his slime. Upside down, his eyestalks stretched out towards me. Mmm, do you mean beacon?

  I looked at the listing.

  "Yeah, that's probably it."

  A Bacon of Transport probably brings you to bacon. A Beacon of Transport allows a party to establish a point where they can instantaneously transport to. It's honestly probably what Pops used to get out of the dungeon. They can be infinitely more useful when you have two, because you can portal back and forth between a fixed point and wherever you got to in a dungeon.

  "That's incredible. I haven't heard of any [Adventurers] using an item like that." To be fair, I hadn't heard of these items before.

  It was more common in the last era. Richard completed his roll, and his goofiness vanished into a sad nostalgia.

  "Alright, Crown of Borrowed Eternity."

  I'm unfamiliar with that one.

  I spent the Dungeon Coin to get the description.

  [Crown of Borrowed Eternity - Once per week, you can rewind a moment for six seconds. You keep your memories, but reality does not. Warning: prolonged wearing of this crown can lead to a delayed reality.]

  Fascinating. I've got some skills to this effect, but I don't think any of the crafters had unlocked a time-crafting [Enchantment].

  I cared little about the Echo Thread Cloak. Chances are it was some sort of hide-based ability.

  “Lantern of Revelation? Gravity Gloves? No, those are probably straightforward. How about the Phoenix Heart Ember?” I ticked through the options, getting closer to the loot I really wanted the details on.

  Lantern of Revelation sounds like a reveal item. Gravity Gloves probably let you lift heavy things. The Phoenix Heart is interesting. Go ahead. Pay for that one. I bet it's got an ability close to your [Dead Wrong] skill set.

  [Phoenix Heart Ember - This Ember represents the last remnant of the once dominant race of birds in Akyrima. If you die, you instantly revive with full health—but the ember is temporarily consumed. Recharges once every 90 days. The Phoenix was once revered for its ability to return from the ashes of its own demise.]

  Interesting, I bet it unlocks a hidden quest chain to restore the race.

  "Resonance Hammer Core, that'd be more useful if I still had my hammer." Not sure I wanted to know the details, would just make me miss my [Guardian's Hammer]. "Okay, how about a Whispercoil Egg?"

  Ah, yes. Anything that ends in Egg is likely some sort of creepy familiar or insect companion. Since the job position is taken, you probably shouldn’t look at that one.

  "Is it though? I mean, I'm your [Pet]. Couldn't I get my own?" I asked more to needle the slug than out of any genuine desire to include another snarky animal companion.

  The [Companion] slot is filled. If you want to replace me, I could go off with Ash, I guess.

  Everbear-damned slug knew just where to hit me.

  "Fine, fine. No Whispercoil Egg. How about the KitchenAid?"

  A KitchenAid? Not sure. I paid a coin for the description. But also... doesn't sound like anything that'd be useful to an [Adventurer].

  I didn't share the notification I got from the [System] this time.

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  [KitchenAid - The ultimate tool in a kitchen. It replaces a variety of processes and tools, including automagically mixing, grinding, juicing, pasta making, folding, kneading, shredding and beating. Include a tilt-able bowl that can expand up to seven quarts. Includes ten speeds. One fuel rod lasts one year on average use*. *Average use calculated on three meals a day for a two-parent family with 2.7 children.]

  That tool sounded incredible. It sounded like it bypassed at least a dozen different [Cook] skills. A restaurant or a bakery in Woodsten could wrap its entire business around a tool like that.

  The Woodsten Gyros Guild? Colezone for Calzones? Spotted Dick Shop? I needed to stop. Someday, maybe I'd retire from the [Adventurer] life. Got to save the world first.

  "Alright, let's get down to business. What do we need?"

  Fuel rods for the carriage. Yes, check. Looked like fuel rods were 100 Dungeon Coins each.

  "Ash, how many fuel rods will get us to Cersapil without," I coughed trying to find polite words, "leveraging Meredeath's skills?"

  Ash lifted his head, eyes taking me in for the first time since we'd exited the dungeon. He looked at the carriage, squinting in calculation. As he opened his mouth, I immediately regretted not waiting to ask him until later.

  "Well, do you have an approximate estimate of how far away we are from Cersapil? This depends on the weight we're traveling with, the distance, and then the maganical engine. Are we taking the Tuli--" I shook my head before Meredeath could catch the drift of the conversation. "Okay, well that makes it a little easier. Let me go check the engine. We should bring the spent fuel rods with us, because they're worth a bit even depleted." Ash brushed himself off and walked towards the carriage, humming to himself.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. That didn't go nearly as badly as I had expected.

  "You should be able to calculate the distance on [Your Mom's Party] map," I called after him. He waved at me, muttering to himself.

  "We need some shovels." I put a couple into the virtual sack. We had used 5,036 Dungeon Coins so far. There were a lot of decisions to be made. I kept coming back to the Pauldrons of Slime Resistance and the Ring of Mesmer Resistance, both of which were 2000 Dungeon Coins. Technically, I could afford them, but it would leave almost nothing left for general supplies and the fuel rods. The catalog was so immense it was overwhelming. I half suspected the [System] did that on purpose to make you burn a bunch of points on a variety of looks.

  "Richard, do you know if I use these points on organization, do those settings still exist when we defeat the next dungeon?" I was eyeing the Virtual Store and a couple of different filters that removed items that weren't pertinent to my class, or the classes of the other members of the team. With the Virtual Store option costing two hundred and fifty coins, I'd definitely be giving up either the pauldron or the ring.

  You're assuming we're going to defeat a dungeon again?

  "That's what we're going to have to do, right? Keep earning Faction Points to boost up Rhi and the [System]?" I was looking at the basic foodstuffs. "Ash, how long is it going to take us to get to Cersapil?"

  "Two weeks probably, assuming we don't stop anywhere long," he called back. "And we're going to need a fuel rod per day, with at least three or four extra. More if you're going to 'accidentally' set off the fire cannon again."

  Okay, so we needed almost two-thousand Dungeon Coins worth of fuel rods.

  The settings you purchase should be in place the next time you defeat a dungeon. And now that you're a [Treasure Hunter] you should get Dungeon Coins every time you defeat one. The lower-level dungeons give considerably less coinage, though, so you can't count on a big windfall like this.

  "Alright, I'm thinking about twenty fuel rods. About two hundred and fifty for general supplies, to refresh my First Aid kit, and a [Lesser Healing Potion] for Argin. That leaves me with two thousand seven hundred and fifteen. That leaves me with enough to buy the Pauldrons of Slime Resistance, and I can throw some coins at whatever Ash's latest project is. I'd love the Mesmer Ring, but I can't afford both."

  Is that your final decision? The pauldrons?

  "Yes." For once, I felt confident in the choice. Pauldrons would give Richard a nice place to perch, giving me a nice upgrade to my armor. The fact that they were [Slime Resistant] was such a bonus. I was tired of having soggy shoulders. And, last but not least, I'd look like a bit of a badass in front of Leo next time I saw him. It was a small thing, but I wanted to at least appear more his equal next time we talked.

  Great! I'm so glad you said so, Cole. Do you remember when we went fishing?

  I did vaguely. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I'd caught the King of the River and we'd met Ash.

  Do you remember we had a little bet?

  "I don't..." Oh shit, we had bet on whether we'd catch anything impressive. I'd bet we'd only catch something [Mundane] but Richard had insisted we were going to catch something memorable. He'd certainly won the bet. "Oh wait, vaguely. I don't remember what we bet, though." I had a sinking suspicion I would not like it.

  A slug never forgets a debt. He looked up at me, the corners of his mouth doing something strange. They were curled up at an odd angle. Was he smiling at me?! We bet that the next time we had dungeon loot, I could pick my share. I am going to insist that you grant me access to the Virtual Store so I can choose something appropriate commensurate with the cost of those pauldrons.

  Well, fuck. Now that he brought it up, that had been the bet. I'd been so hopeful he'd stop licking my ears, I'd been willing to bet almost anything.

  Bringing up the interface, I spent a hundred Dungeon Coins to grant the little slimeball his just rewards.

  "We're even then."

  Richard's tentacles were already scanning the interface as he looked for whatever he was going to choose.

  We're even until our next bet.

  I had a sinking feeling this would not be the last time I handed over the Virtual Dungeon Store loot interface to him.