After a long, drawn-out cup of tea, the return to the real world was rather disappointing.

  With a soft pop, I landed in the harsh sunlight of the Focloric High Desert. I was on my hands and knees, the soft red sand biting into my palms. Richard rode on my shoulder like I was his prize steed.

  Meredeath, Ash, and Argin were also gasping in the sand. The tornado that had dominated the landscape and chased us into the dungeon was gone. Relatively undisturbed, the oasis sat in the morning light of the desert. The wheels of Leyla’s high-end carriage had sunk into the sand. Slashes and aspen leaves marred its sides, a monument to the chaos we’d survived.

  A gold-plated treasure chest sat in front of me.

  This was what we'd negotiated for. The prize at the end of hell.

  I took a step towards it. I wanted to open this up and take control of whatever loot Richard had negotiated for us. The pond in the oasis splashed.

  Looking over, I expected to see the prehistoric alligator that'd portaled us into the dungeon. Instead, a long, sinuous neck breached the surface, followed by the two floppy eyes of the Tuli Monster.

  It looked right at me.

  “Hi, Briyain,” I said in the steadiest voice I could manage.

  She goes nowhere without me, or the hunger will consume. Its deep telepathic voice vibrated along my bones. This was a voice that wasn't meant to be heard by humans. I guess that answers that question. We were going to have a hard time leaving Briyain if she was telling the truth.

  "Richard," I hissed out of the corner of my mouth. "Is it lying?"

  Richard clung to my bare shoulders, his foot undulating in place. I associated this with his thinking. The caress of the slimy undercarriage would have freaked me out a couple of months ago, but now it was just another Tuesday.

  Hard to tell, but there are some [Companion] bonds that require proximity. I tried to imagine what that'd be like, to be tethered to a slug. Not ours, obviously. That would be a ridiculous limitation with a slug. I think, however, the threat isn't a bond-enforced limitation, but the Briyain is threatening that her magic will eat her alive if it isn't near.

  "Convenient, isn't it?" I whispered, stepping up to the treasure chest.

  Mhmm.

  Reaching down, I decided there wasn't much we could do with the Tuli Monster in the middle of the desert.

  [Quest Complete: [Below, As Above] Faction Challenge

  You have completed the [Ancient Underwater [Anti-slug]] [Below, As Above] dungeon in the Focloric High Desert at a [Legendary] difficulty. This dungeon has now had [1] successful [Legendary] difficulty completed attempts. As the [Adventurers] who have completed the dungeon at the highest difficulty, you have earned the right to reassign the [Hesa’s Talon]’s Faction Points allocated to the [System] as well as the [Legendary] bonus. This totals 1 million Faction Points. You have earned a [Dungeon Treasure Chest].

  [Cole Moldboard Thornfield] is responsible for the death of the dungeon boss [Tuli Monster]. You are responsible for assigning 1 million Faction Points to one of the Factions involved: [System] Faction, Rhi Voss Faction, Tandy Selvedge Faction, or Richard the Fanged Banana Slug Faction. You have [ten minutes] to make your decision.]

  I was so incredibly tempted to give the points to Tandy. Or Rhi, honestly. Anyone but the [System].

  Richard must have sensed it.

  Don't do it, Cole. The Ursine Wall must be up and functioning. Even Rhi needs it to avoid being overrun.

  Even with the logic stacked against me, I had to grit my teeth to whisper out the command.

  "Assign the Faction Points to—" Part of me screamed at the wrongness of assigning so much power to the status quo. To the eye that watches over us all. I could feel the pressure of the [System] upon me. Willing me to make the 'right' decision and assign the points.

  Cole, think of Woodsten. It will fall if the Wall falls.

  "—the [System]." Richard was right, damn him.

  The pressure vanished.

  "I hope it was worth it," I muttered, opening the dungeon treasure chest.

  [Congratulations, [Cole Moldboard Thornfield]. You have earned the skill [Treasure Hunter]. This skill grants the negotiation of [Treasure Chests] with the [System] based on a predetermined [World Treasure Store]. By defeating [Below, As Above] at [Legendary] difficulty, you have attained ten thousand [Dungeon Coins] to use at the corresponding store. Purchase wisely. All sales are final after you confirm your choices.]

  Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  A message blinked in front of me.

  [You have received ten thousand [Dungeon Coins]. The [Dungeon Store] is now available. The store caps at your maximum coin value. [System] personalized options are marked in blue.]

  A list a mile long opened in front of me. It was a wall of columns of things, from the most mundane to fantastical.

  Aardvark Pelt | Ash Pouch | Accelerant Resin | Acid-Resistant Apron | Acid Vial (Minor) | Acid (Advanced) | Acid (Superior) | Acorn Pendant of Luck | Adhesive (Minor) | Adhesive (Advanced) | Adhesive (Superior) | Aged Jerky. The list went on and on, most of it useless junk that we didn't need. My eyes flitted towards the blue-framed items.

  Bowl of Transportation, Crutch (Basic), Pauldrons of Slime Resistance, Potion of Waterbreathing, Fuel Rod, and Ring of Mesmer Resistance were all flagged by the [System] as particularly interesting.

  I could lose myself on this list, spend the next fifty years leafing through the lists of loot.

  With some of the more interesting entries, like the Potion of Enlargement, I wondered what they did, imagining becoming a giant colossus ready to defend a town.

  [Spend 1 [Dungeon Coin] to uncover [Potion of Enlargement]?]

  I shook my head, unwilling to spend a coin on something I wasn’t actually interested in.

  "The damn [System] is going to nickel and dime us after I gave it a million Faction Points?"

  Typical snake behavior. The [System] will squeeze you any way it can. Richard paused for a second, he leaned into my ear. It owes us, however. Not enough to give us free descriptions of items, but anything that's flagged as being useful to us... probably will be.

  I could spend the next decade lost in the list. Categorizing it would make things much easier.

  [Spend 1 [Dungeon Coin] to unlock [Categorization]?]

  "Yes, unlock [Categorization]." My brain twisted, and the list was broken up by category.

  Accessories | Alchemy & Brews | Ammunition & Arrowheads | Armor | Artisan Tools |Backpack Essentials | Bandages & First Aid | Camping Gear | Climbing & Mobility | Clothing & Wearables | Companion Care Items | Consumables... The list was still so overwhelmingly extensive. I made one purchase immediately.

  A [Basic Shirt] cost 10 Dungeon Coins. It popped out of the ether, falling gently into my hand. The shirt was nothing to write home about. It was a tan pullover with an open neck. It would get the job done, removing my still-purple nipples from the view of the general public.

  I looked at my party. Argin was still unconscious. I would not include her in the decision-making anyway. She'd been a part of Tandy's kidnapping by relation. I didn't want her to know any more about [Your Mom's Party] than strictly necessary because I was sure she'd just hand the knowledge over to her grandfather.

  Meredeath had regained consciousness, but she looked like undeath herself. The desert was not the natural habitat for a [Death Knight] or a [Necromancer]. She was rubbing her head as if she had a migraine. Meredeath was one of the original members of [Your Mom's Party] but I wasn't sure I could trust her anymore. Whether it was succumbing to the [Necromantic] pull of her magic or her [Mesmer] companion Briyain, I questioned if she was really on our side anymore.

  Ash was the only member I could reasonably bring in on the conversation outside of Richard. He was fussing over Meredeath. I could only imagine how geeked he'd be if he had access to the store.

  [Grant Access to the Dungeon Store for this instance to a teammate? 100 Dungeon Coins.]

  This sparked an idea, and I hit yes.

  [Grant Access to: Ash, Meredeath, Richard, or Tandy?]

  Damn it. I nixed the access box upon discovering that Tandy was out of range.

  "Alright, Richard. We've got some decisions to make." I muttered, walking away from the group.

  Right. Start with Briyain and the bowl. That’s the purchase we have to make. I don't think we're going to get away with not taking the Tuli Monster with us.

  I examined the [Bowl of Transportation] and spent the [Dungeon Coin] to get a full description.

  [Bowl of Transportation - [5000 Dungeon Coins] This magical bowl is available at half cost because of the presence of an empty Oscillating Orb container within the party inventory upon leaving the dungeon. Use of this discount will consume the SCMMOO remnant. This container is an extra-dimensional space that can both contain large water-based [Companions] and allow them to be vocal and visible in party settings. Optional enhancements are available for [1000 Dungeon Coins] each, including: Quick Draw, Auto Feeder, and Fishbowl Earrings.]

  This was an expensive need. I put the [Bowl of Transportation] into my virtual sack and kept shopping.

  "Alright, I've used half of the coins on the bowl for Briyain.” This was against my better judgement. “We need crutches to get Argin out of here, and they’re only ten Dungeon Coins.” That was an easy expense. I'd been trying not to look at the stump at the end of her right leg, but it was impossible to avoid the consequences.

  Potions of Regeneration could restore limbs, but they were hard to find and incredibly expensive. For her sake, I hoped her grandfather's [Archmage] status granted him the wealth that would make it a non-issue.

  No [Potions of Regeneration] were listed in my store. The potion was probably too expensive, if the store even had the capability of carrying it.

  "I wonder what was available for ten thousand coins. Those had to be the best items, right?" The list in my vision adjusted, showing a fairly short alphabetical list of items.

  Beacon of Transport | Crown of Borrowed Eternity | Echo Thread Cloak | Lantern of Revelation | Gravity Gloves | Phoenix Heart Ember | Resonance Hammer Core | Whispercoil Egg | KitchenAid

  The items sounded epic. It was a list of tools a true champion of the Everbear might wield.

  "Richard, I can't believe what's available for ten thousand [Dungeon Coins]. Part of me wants to spend a [Dungeon Coin] on each of them, just to find out what they do." I didn't bother hiding my awe. Knowing Richard, he could feel it anyway.

  There's no harm in dreaming Cole, go for it.