The first time happened during her Foundation ceremony. She had just broken into the Foundation Establishment realm and so her master had thrown a feast in celebration to reward her hardwork. She remembered how happy and excited she was at that time.
The Mu Feixue of that time was so much different from the present; she was a young inexperienced girl who spent most of her time buried in scrolls trying to cram up as much knowledge as she could. This wasn't all her fault, most of them rested on the shoulders of her old hag of a master.
Her master picked her up when she was 12. An orphan since birth, at that time she was a servant of some clan whose name she had long forgotten. Her master, a master Alchemist, was invited as a guest and there she took note of her talent and asked her to become her disciple. To escape servitude and jump to a life of luxury she readily accepted. Her master bestowed her a new name and identity, from now on she was the budding alchemist Mu Feixue.
Free from the clan, she looked forward to easy and relaxing days but the reality was much different. Her master was too strict, her lessons harsh and demanding. From the moment she woke up, the only free time she had was for eating. Either she was practicing the Heart of Flame technique or learning about different ingredients. Her master also quizzed her from time to time, each wrong answer meant a hit on the wrist with her stick. Later she would find out that her master had little lifespan left by that time. She had made her disciple just to honour the covenant.
Seeing no routes for escape, she decided to dove headfirst into the Dao of alchemy to break free from her master as quickly as possible.
Her hardwork bore fruit and Mu Feixue broke into the Foundation Establishment realm. Her master for the first time showed her a proud smile and congratulated her heartily. She was in the twilight years of her life and finally let out a breath of relief; finally she had fulfilled her duty.
From then her lessons relaxed; her master mostly left her to her own devices with occasional lessons and advices. For the first time in a long time she could finally taste freedom. And at her ceremony she met him. She had been taken in by his handsome face when the moment he first congratulated her.
His name which she had long cast off from her mind, was also a renowned alchemist, her senior. Although she had hated alchemy before due to harsh lessons of her master, as her talent bloomed it gradually melted with time and finally she had to admit that she enjoyed it quite a bit. Being of the same field and living in the same city, they frequently met each other, having discussions on the Dao of alchemy.
Feixue who was alone most of her life discounting the old grandma that was her master, for the time was freely exchanging thoughts and ideas with a peer. It was so fun and it especially helped when the peer was a suave handsome scholar.
Although she was inexperienced she wasn't that dense. She could feel his eyes on her when she wasn't looking or how many times they 'coincidentally' met at her favourite restaurants and spots in the city. This game didn't drag to long as one moonlight night they exchanged the oaths of lovers.
He was the one who led, showing her the pleasures of flesh. She knew he was more experienced and didn't mind it at all, content being a silent passenger in his wild ride. She was drunk in her first love and her new found freedom.
Maybe she was looking at life with her bright lovestruck eyes, but her old experienced master was carefully watching everything. And one day her master shattered her dream. Secretly her master had researched her lover and found out the horrible truth. That man was an agent of one of the four great sects who uses his looks to con the inheritances of gullible lone female cultivators. He was currently targeting her inheritance. Her master had also shown convincing proof leaving no room for doubt.
Heartbroken, she confronted him. At first he tried to deny everything but after showing proof in the end he confessed everything. Still he claimed that although his intentions were impure at first, he had really fallen in love with her and had broken off all ties with the sect. He swore that he hasn't been in contact the sect for months and tearfully he knelt down infront of her, begging for another chance to prove that what they had was real.
But it was far too late, he could have been the most convincing actor in history but all she would hear were lies coming from the mouth of a betrayer. She never saw him again; later she learned that her master had threatened to fight him to death if he shows his face again in the Blue Moon city. Her master who used to hit her at every little mistake never admonished her for this, her final advice to never let this experience taint her heart forever.
The second time happened much later. Decades passed with her master's death and now she had changed from just another upcoming alchemist to the genius alchemist of her generation. After the incident she had mostly lived in isolation futher honing her skills and it was showing results. Her name which was already well known in the Blue Moon city was quickly spreading throughout the Jiang region.
There was a long line of suitors after her, all of them renowned cultivators. Even Su Feng, the young genius of the Absolute Sword sect was chasing after her but she had rejected everyone without giving a second look. Although her wounds have long healed, ever since that time a thin layer of ice covered her heart, obstructing all warmth from reaching her.
She didn't desired it nor she was actively looking for it but the arrow of love can strike at any unforeseen moment. She was in a carriage with the members of Hundred Treasures Pavilion when a beast stampede collided with them. Not used to fighting, she mostly stayed in the carriage while the guards tried to hold back the demonic beasts.
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She could feel the situation getting more and more grim each passing moment. Only the last line of defence was left, everyone else was annihilated. Her composure was starting break as the fear of death slowly filled her mind. With each dying cry from the outside, her body shook, her heartbeat increased and soon she was shaking like a leaf with her heart beating like a loud drum.
A strong blow flung away the roof of the carriage and she came face to face with the demonic beast. But before she could even finally release the terrified scream she had been holding for so long, the demonic beast was sent flying far away by a punch from the man standing infront of her, the sight of his bare back banishing all her fears.
She had instantly recognized him, the leader of top beast hunter party in the Blue Moon city, Xiao Kuangyun. His face tilted towards her and with a devilish smirk he said, "That look doesn't suit your pretty face. Now that I am here, you have nothing to worry about. Watch me as I take care of these monsters in a minute; I will take your beautiful smile as my payment fairy."
With a wink, he jumped into the battle joining his comrades in slaughtering the demonic beasts leaving her alone to deal with her wild beating heart. The thin layer of ice had shattered like plain glass unable to withstand the vigorous rhythm of love. Turned out that the Hundred Treasures Pavilion had contacted them in their distress for help. With all the demonic beasts gone, they safely escorted them back to the city with Xiao Kuangyun closely sticking by her side.
In hindsight it was funny how different he was to her first love. While that man had the build of a scholarly gentleman, Xiao Kuangyun was a hulking warrior through and through, killing demonic beasts with his bare hands. That man was sly using subtle methods like arranging 'coincidences', Kuangyun was blunt and forthright, announcing his intentions to court her before the end of their first meeting. Perhaps it was the contrast that let her open her heart to him.
Initially she tried to act reserved but soon she fell and fell deep. She still hadn't changed from the previous time. Kuangyun had that dominating presence and she was again giving into him most of the time. Though they had their good times in the beginning. They were the power couple of Blue Moon city, the top warrior and the genius alchemist, envy of many. The time spent with him was far longer than with her first love. Everything was going perfect when tragedy struck.
Demonic beast hunting was always a risky job and that day Kuangyun's luck finally run out. He was heavily injured but luckily with the help of his comrades escaped with his life. They weren't lacking in money so he was given the best possible treatment but it would take a long time to recover.
Mu Feixue played the part of a supporting wife very well, showing her love and not letting him fall into depression. She told him that he should slowly take his time, that he would get well soon, that no matter what happens he is still the person she loves. It may have worked well on others but Kuangyun was a warrior and had that stubborn manly pride in his bones.
While his name gradually fell into obscurity, Feixue was climbing higher and higher and soon they turned from a power couple to the genius alchemist and her lover. The gossip reached both of their ears but while Feixue ignored it treating it as worthless babble of useless people, this hurt Kuangyun right in the chest. Feixue never brought it up and neither did he.
Oh how naive she was! The warning signs were right there when he didn't attend the ceremony of her becoming a Senior Master making some excuses about his previous comrades. But her eyes were too clouded with love to see the truth.
She could feel the gloomy aura clinging on to him but everytime he insisted everything was fine and as usual she believed him. Some time passed and he began going out to train. His complexion started getting healthier and his spirit became livelier.
He had told her that he was mentoring a newly formed beast hunter party. She was truly happy for him. The party would benefit from his experience while her man could find a new purpose in his life. It was a win-win situation for everyone but she would learn far too late that she had already lost.
Kuangyun would seldom be at home, frequently leaving for hunting trips. Their time together became lesser and lesser. She missed him very much but endured it all for the sake of his new found happiness until one day her friend An Ning told her the shocking news that Kuangyun was having relations with a girl he was mentoring behind her back.
With her eyes blazing with fury, she stormed into the tavern and found them sitting on a chair with the girl straddling him erasing all room for any doubt. One look at the girl and her rage intensified. She was just a no name Qi Refining cultivator. Be it beauty, cultivation, wealth, talent or fame, that tramp wasn't even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of her. And he left her for this?!
With a sardonic grin masking her rage, she mocked him. "Kuangyun, I didn't know your taste has fallen this low. You deceived me for that ugly thing!" Unable to say anything due to guilt, he could only avert his eyes. His silence infuriated her even more. She turned her attention to the girl.
"I don't know which brothel you came from but you should think twice before using the tricks your whore of a mother taught you on someone else's man. I give you three breaths of time to disappear before I make you myself."
"Watch your mouth! I know I did you wrong but that doesn't give you the right to slander my mother like this! And you talk about tricks? You are the one who couldn't keep your man happy. Why couldn't you see how much he was suffering? You should look into yourself first before calling out others. Hmmph!"
The girl turned her head as if dismissing her and pulled herself further in his chest. You dare to act like this infront of me thinking I would simply watch? Her hands sparked ready to incinerate her but Kuangyun stood infront shielding her.
"Feixue how could you raise your hand against a junior? Have you lost all manners?"
"Manners? You adulterers dare speak about manners?! Move away and let me turn this trash to ash!"
"FEIXUE ENOUGH! How dare you talk like this to my woman? It's my fault I should have done this much sooner. Consider ourselves seperate from now on."
"Kuangyun... how could you? For such a thing like her you are leaving me?!"
"Don't call her a thing, she has a name! You never understood what I went through when people called me a useless man mooching of his woman, a house husband. You just chose to ignore it all, inwardly you were laughing at me right? The mighty Xiao Kuangyun now fallen so far beneath you."
His eyes were shaking with anger he had kept buried for far too long. Then he turned to the girl behind him and his expression softened, the look that was only for her was directed at someone else breaking her heart even more.
"But she understood my pain. She made me feel useful, needed like I'm an irreplaceable part of her life unlike you who always made me feel small. How liberating it was to feel being depended on. Sigh.. Let's just end this. From now on I want nothing to do with you and you are nothing to me."
And infront of Mu Feixue who was desperately holding back her tears, they turned their embrace in a passionate kiss. That night the newly formed couple further deepened their bonds while she cried alone in her empty bed.

