Hajime found himself once again in his dreamworld. Nothing seemed to have changed—except that his items were waiting for him on a sofa in front of a TV.

  A golden-haired girl surrounded by whale memorabilia, plushies, and PJs, a pirate girl in dark blocky pajamas, and a red-haired lion girl in bear-patterned PJs all greeted him together:

  “Welcome back!”

  Hajime smiled and replied, “This is strange... but glad to be back.”

  He sat down in the center of the sofa and resumed watching Magical Nexus Girl, Episode 7. Just as the show began, a volcano erupted in the background. From the smoke, a dragon girl clutching an oversized body pillow float's toward the sofa.

  Without looking up, Hajime scooted over to make room. “Haven’t seen you in a while,” he say's casually.

  Walletbreaker’s snot bubble popped as she sniffled, “I’ve... buahhh... been very busy. Got a new intern—and she’s a slave driver.”

  “Isn’t that normal in your world?” Hajime asked.

  “Yes, but she’s... special. Melissa is taking care of her,” Walletbreaker replied.

  “Poor girl,” Hajime muttered with sympathy. “Never catching a break.”

  The room fell quiet as they all turned their attention to the show.

  Two dream-hours later, Hajime finished the season finale.

  Walletbreaker dramatically shouted, “Pantynator! He was too young for this world!”

  Whalescalibur sighed. “I still don’t get the appeal of this show... Is there something wrong with my taste?”

  Caladblock grunted. “Skimpy outfits do make the woman.”

  Valiant added thoughtfully, “Pretty good show. The lighting and sound design were superb.”

  Hajime’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Finally, someone who gets it! Kouri Yamikaze’s directing skills are sublime! His team are the pros of the modern age!”

  After his fanboy moment, Hajime yawned and stretched. “Look at the time—it’s my bedtime.”

  He conjured a floating bed, lay's down and drifted into sleep, leaving his items to mingle.

  Whalescalibur whispered, “Is he knocked out?”

  Valiant checked. “He’s completely out.”

  Caladblock crossed her arms. “Good.”

  Walletbreaker frowned suspiciously. “What are you guys scheming?”

  “None of your business,” Caladblock shot back.

  “It is her business,” Valiant said. “She’ll ruin everything if she doesn’t know.”

  Whalescalibur sighed. “Yeah... let’s just tell her.”

  This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

  They huddled together, and Valiant began, “He’s in a fragile state right now. After signing that contract, he still hasn’t fully recovered—and he’s at risk of causing a time displacement anomaly.”

  Walletbreaker’s eyes widened. “What the hell did I miss?!”

  Caladblock immediately covered her mouth with miasma. “Mmm... mmmmh!”

  Valiant continued, “If he becomes too stressed, he could either age into dust... or revert into literal primordial baby soup.”

  Walletbreaker’s eyes went wide as she nodded rapidly.

  The miasma lifted. “Shouldn’t we tell him?” she asked.

  They all nodded, and Valiant said, “We agreed to wait until morning, when he’s relaxed. He’s usually rational when it comes to his own health.”

  They all agreed to remain silent for the rest of the dream.

  Hajime awoke to knocking on his flimsy door.

  “Mom, I don’t want to go to college... It’s too expensive, and the degrees are useless...” he mumble's.

  Opening his eyes, he sigh's. “Damn it... that was a good dream.”

  A voice called out, “Hajime, your tour is scheduled in ten minutes. Please proceed to the elevator.”

  “Sure, give me five minutes,” he replied, then looked at his items. “You guys are awfully quiet... What’s going on?”

  Valiant spoke up. “I’ll speak for everyone. First off, Hajime—thank you for saving me. I wasn’t expecting this outcome, but I truly appreciate it.”

  “You’re welcome,” Hajime said cautiously. “Now... where’s the catch?”

  Valiant hesitated. “Promise me you won’t get stressed. Keep calm and think happy thoughts.”

  “Alright?” Hajime said, confused.

  Valiant nodded. “Good. Because of your heroic actions... have unfortunately.. displaced your time out of reality.”

  Hajime blink's. “Elaborate on that mumbo jumbo?”

  “I won’t bore you with the technicalities,” Valiant said gently. “But if you get too stressed, you could either age to dust or turn into baby soup.”

  Hajime blink's again. “That’s it?”

  Valiant smile's. “Excellent work maintaining neutrality.”

  All the items exhaled in relief.

  “I already accepted the risks when I started dealing with powers beyond mortality,” Hajime said. “So... how long do I have?”

  Valiant hesitated. “You’re not dying from it.”

  “Oh, lucky!” Hajime said cheerfully.

  “It’ll take about a week to get back to normal,” Valiant added.

  “I’m dead,” Hajime groaned. “There’s no way I’ll survive the Sixth Saintess Selection with this added difficulty.”

  Caladblock and Valiant spoke together. “We’ll work overtime to block advertisements, and Whale promised to stay quiet during the emergency.”

  “YESSS!” Hajime cheered—just as a soft sob echoed and the floor grew damp with polish.

  Then the door opened. Adael stood there. “Five minutes have passed hero! Let’s go up!”

  As they moved through the dungeon, the screams of ad-starved heretics echoed around them. Oddly enough, Hajime found it soothing to his soul.

  They reached the elevator, and Adael pressed the CEO Top Floor button.

  “So, we’re starting at the CEO’s office?” Hajime asks.

  “I don’t get it either,” Adael shrugged. “But the boss insisted.”

  The elevator rose from the depths back to the top.

  When the doors opened, Hajime stood once again before Deus.

  “The first thing Hajime says is: “Did you change your clothes for the occasion? They look great on you.”

  Deus beamed. “I’m so happy you noticed! Most other gods never comment, and my followers always stare at the floor. It’s disappointing!”

  Though her form looked like a censored block creature, her color from the neck down glowed red. Her golden blocky eyes shimmered with delight.

  “They match perfectly with your eyes,” Hajime said.

  “Yes, indeed they do,” Deus replied proudly. “But how do you know that? No mortal should be able to see it.”

  “I’ve transcended mortality in... other ways,” Hajime say's flatly, clearly bluffing.

  “Excellent! You’re a better hero than I expected,” Deus say's with a grin.

  A long, awkward silence follow's.

  “So... are we doing the tour?” Hajime ask's

  “Ah, right!” Deus exclaim's. “We were supposed to start at 8:00—angelic time.”

  “It was scheduled for 7:00,” Hajime corrected.

  Deus check's her notes. They indeed read 7:00. “Yes, you’re right on time! You were almost late.”

  Hajime’s expression darkened. “You totally forgot.”

  Deus flinche's. “I never forget! Take that back blasphemer!”

  “Yes... fine, I take it back.”

  Deus smile's brightly. “All is right with the world.”

  Used to this kind of divine nonsense, Hajime muttered under his breath, “Just act like you’re still employed back home...”

  He knew better than to provoke her further. Deus might be whimsical and eccentric—but she remained the single most dangerous existence to his peace of mind.

  Dun dun dun...