Its glass frame reveals the stratification of worship in crystal clarity.
At the bottom, the common folk kneel and watch charity ads with radiant smiles.
On the next level, priests kneel in holy communion—watching charity stream ads from their sponsored bathtubs.
Higher still, literal angels pray to divine variations of those same generic ads.
“What the hell is this place?” Hajime mutters.
At last, they reach the top of the fortress monastery. The cardinals guide him through an unnecessarily long hallway to a fair skinned angelic secretary.
The Cardinal clears his throat. “We’ve got an appointment for Hero Communion at 1:00 sharp.”
The angelic secretary, eyes dull from eternity, asks, “Human time or Angelic time?”
The Cardinal hesitates. “I believe its… Angelic time.”
She scrolls through her glowing schedule. “Ah, yes. Hero Communion at 1:00 A-time. Please take a seat. She’ll see you in… three hours, human time.”
Hajime groans. “Do I really have to wait here and do nothing? Lame.”
“You can watch the three-hour ad for Deus Machinations Division if you’re bored, hero-kun,” she offers mechanically.
Hajime hisses. “No thanks. My DMV training prepared me for this. Ill do my own thing”
He sits down and becomes one with the chair — blending into the background like he never existed.
The secretary keeps typing endlessly, her baggy eyes fixed on the glowing screen. She mumbles, “Six seasons of this stupid show and I’m still mad I wasn’t picked in Season 5…”
Hajime leans forward. “Miss, were you a participant in the Selection at some point?”
She blinks. “Ah, yes, gotta make these in triplicate—”
“Snap out of it Miss.”
“Sorry,” she says, finally looking up. “What were you saying?”
“Were you once in the Selection?”
Her eyes glimmer briefly. “Ah, yes… those were the days. I was the lead singer of an Angelic Choir Girlz Team. I even got second place, but…”
Her eyes hollow out again. “…I lost to Elnora.”
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“Understandable,” Hajime says carefully. “She’s… a strange case.”
The angel suddenly slams her hand on the desk. “I didn’t lose! Those abs were mine!”
Hajime, feeding her delusions: “Yes, indeed. Those abs were yours. So why didn’t you win?”
“The hero chose her,” the secretary says bitterly, “but rumor has it… he didn’t want her.”
Hajime nods. “ That checks out. The last hero was Amanonus, wasn’t he?”
“Yes!” she says, suddenly animated. Then she launches into a rant about his escapades like a true fangirl, wasting her entire break on idol gossip.
After an eternity, Hajime stands. “My turn’s up. It was a pleasure talking to you.”
The angel beams. “You are truly a blessed hero. See you later.”
Hajime frowns at her ominous tone as he enters the room.
Inside, he finds a massive, empty CEO-style office. At one corner sits a shrine of Elnora memorabilia and plushies — obsessive to the point of worship.
“Is Elnora her Sacred Cow?” Hajime mutters.
Valiant chimes in: “Of course it is. This display of love is unnatural.”
A glowing tutorial plays from a floating screen:
“To commune with the Divine, you must first claim the Seat of Power.”
“Sit in the boss chair? Got it,” Hajime deduces.
He drops into the plush seat. “Okay… now what?”
“Pray to Deus for an interview.”
“Nah, I’m good. This chair’s comfy and I was never much of a choir boy.”
The tutorial flashes red with irritation.
“PRAY TO DEUS.”
Hajime spots a lever. “Sweet! It’s a recliner!”
“That’s my chair! PRAY TO DEUS!”
Hajime rolls his eyes. “Fine. Thank you, Deus, for this holiest of chairs — imprinted by the sacred ass of the mightiest of heroes.”
“Approved. You may commune with the DIVINE!.”
The room fades as Hajime loses consciousness.
He reappears in the same office — but now Deus herself sits across from him. Her form is indescribable, a face mosaic worse than Merry’s.
“It’s good we finally meet hero,” she huffs in displeasure.
Hajime thinks. “Are you pissed… or happy to see me?”
“Both,” she answers flatly.
“Stop flexing your omniscience on the common folk,” he mutters.
Unbothered, Deus continues, “You’ve been summoned for a special deal. You must achieve a great feat that promotes our religion to the top of the charts. Your reward will be… one wish.”
“Ah, the classic isekai scam,” Hajime says. “Do the impossible, get tricked at the end.”
Deus turns blue. “That’s slanderous! We don’t do that in this company!”
Her blocky form shifts awkwardly.
“Let’s say I accept,” Hajime sighs. “What are my responsibilities?”
“Simple,” she replies. “Gain clout. Create a revolutionary, world-changing event. And… uh…” she mumbles the last word. “…get married.”
Hajime freezes. “Married? To who?”
Deus smiles sweetly. “It’s in the contract. Here, take a look.”
A massive scroll unfurls, stretching from Earth to the sun.
“Fuck being a hero!” Hajime yells. “That’s worse than a pork-barrel spending bill!”
“No problem,” Deus says cheerily. “I can shorten it for you.”
She condenses the entire text into a single sheet — now impossibly dense and unreadable.
“I can’t read this crap,” Hajime grumbles, dropping the contract on the desk.
“No problem, hero,” Deus says ominously. “We have eternity to discuss the contract.”
“…What did you just say?”
“You heard me,” she whispers. “We can review it… forever!!!”
Hajime turns pale. “What kind of god are you?”
“The best!!!,” she says smugly.
“I need a lawyer!!!”
Deus sighs. “ToS approves your demands.”
A flash of light fills the room — Valiant appears, now in a red suit and glasses.
“You’re my lawyer?!” Hajime shouts.
Valiant grins confidently. “I’ve always been certified. It a feature since birth!”
A desk materializes — complete with lion plushies, a framed photo of Hajime eating salmon, and coconut water.
She adjusts her glasses and clicks her lion-themed red pen. “Now… let’s get to work.”
Hajime can only sit and wait — saved, perhaps, by the tireless diligence of one very overqualified lioness.