Silverspoon Guildmaster POV – Speech before the final battle
On this day, a great tragedy has befallen to the paradise of Lucielvagrod. Our innocent guild, which has endured for 30 years (in-game), stands on the brink of being conquered by… that thing. All of our payment equipment has faltered against its sheer brutality!
Pooling our Ad-power blessed us with the best equipment money could buy… yet Lucielvagrod, poor Lucielvagrod—a DLC full of dreams, bazonkadonks, and happy fun bags—is being extinguished right before our very eyes. We must avenge her… and our Ads. The beautiful feet… gone to the fire of all consuming rage.
What has driven this monster to such an extreme is foreign to us. Poor Alphonso—he was the first to fall. Our NPC mascot was just doing his idol dance in the plaza, and that thing slashed him into the cold dirt. It was terrifying. Our guild fought valiantly against the invader, yet now we are reduced to hiding inside our guildhalls.
Looks out the window… it’s just standing there. Menacingly.
We must turn the tide. Some guild members have been watching lotion, construction, swimming, and feet ads continuously for 2 hours straight, but it’s not enough. Whatever thoughts that monster has are alien to us… but we will surely prevail!
…Minutes pass.
The monster awakens and starts bashing the guildhall.
“NOOOOO! We’ll lose it all!”
Hajime-san POV
Graaaahhhhhh gruhhhhhhh! (I’ve entered this wretched town. It looks like a perv’s wet dream incarnate. It’s literally the same generic city layout as the starter town, but with bazonkadonks, a giant Silverspoon building, and NPCs raving at something in the middle of the plaza.)
I go to take a look and see… its the femboy from the cultist ads. My body moves automatically. Poof. Now he's gone...
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
“I think I aggroed the NPCs. Now they’re bombarding me with ad infested spells.”
HYAAAAAAHHUUUUUUU! (I parry and counter the Adswordsmen—ding, level 151! WOW, this is an instant jackpot! They give good EXP! The mages just stand there taking it. Thank you, this EXP town is totally worth to grind!)
HUUUUGRRUUUUU! (Hey! They’re respawning from the spoon building. Let’s set up camp here!)
After a full day of farming, Hajime-san reaches level 175.
Grrrruuuuhhhhaaaaa! (In one day I’ve made more progress than any dungeon! This DLC town is sooo broken!)
ARRRRRGGGGGGGG! (Why are the NPCs taking so long? Did I exhaust the supply? …Shit. Let’s just burn down this wasteland and move on with the main mission.)
Hajime slashes at the guildhall with his shitty sword. After 5 minutes it’s starts to burn; after 10 it’s destroyed with a generic destruction animation. A swarm of mobs spawn, and Hajime-san consumes their beautiful EXP. Level 180 achieved at last, he repeats the process with the other buildings. The Naked Asura conquers yet another friendly territory in his endless quest to become OP.
Guildmaster’s Fate
“Everything… everything is gone! Our legacy… our Alphonso-sama!"
A bunch whales scream to the sky lamenting the loss of their guild!
"Since all our items were attached to the guild subscription, we only have what little we purchased individually in our solo crusades. Some are naked. Others have dingy swords or staves. So many broken hearts… so many broken dreams…”
They respawn back in the beginner town—without their spawn point, without their home. Horror spreads across their faces. There is nothing left. This demon has forever changed the worldscape.
These victims must rush now and warn the good people of Noctrine before it’s too late!
Hajime-san POV
“Conquest of Lucielvagrod complete. Reward: Golden Middle Finger Hat.”
Graaahhhhhhrrrrrhhhh! (Such a piece of crap equipment drop.)
He sets off toward his next destination—the capital city of Noctrine. The journey is easy, random highway women and unique NPCs feeding him plenty of EXP.
Level 200 achieved: Naked Asura – Heavenly King.
Reaching the capital, Hajime’s eyes glow red with hatred. Before him stands a gigantic bathtub-shaped coliseum, the same three houses, the same two shops, and a pathetic wall around the town.
GRAAAAHHHHHHHH! (Creative bankruptcy at its finest!)
He approaches the gate.
“Level 25 requirement. You may pass.”
The dingy gate creaks open. Hajime enters the so-called “city.” Two new buildings appear: one shaped like a cockroach, the other like a rat. Unique NPCs rave in the center for some reason.
Hajime mutters: Let’s see what this trash is all about…
