I take a seat in the gaming chair for the demo and what greets me is a VR Magic-Tech helmet. I glance at the nearby players—drooling neighbors strapped to their chairs in horrible configurations. I as a normal individual ignore them and buckle in the damned contraption. Chains materialize out of nowhere, binding me in place as I stare at the screen.
Then Lucile cheers:
"You’ve fallen into my trap hero! Now witness the power of the sacred MICROTRANSACTION!"
Cough cough.
"I literally walked into this though."
"SHUT UP!" She slams the VR headset down onto my head.
I awaken in the tutorial.
Rules of the Game:
Conquer the Human Kingdom and bring an end to Humanity’s ADs.
Exploit, seduce, and manage a party of Demonkind’s best influencers.
Defeat heroic dungeons with incredible gear!
Pay 10$ for the use of Ad-Power per common item.
Check the in-game store for exclusive legendary weapons!
I scroll through and see that the Demon Queen’s Personal Sword costs 100,000,000,000,000 Store Points.
Yeah, definitely not getting that.
News:
"Time magic keeps you in perfect stasis. One year in-game = one minute IRL. Enjoy the full experience—remember, you're not wasting any time!"
The game seem simple, the ways to earn currency are just the usual grind: do dungeons, conquer towns and watch ads...
Okay, whatever. I tried the game and I hate it, let’s just go to the “Quit Game” menu.
...
There’s no fucking quit button!!!
SHIT!
I’ve been too complacent lately. Crap crap crap!!! THIS GAME IS HELL!!!
After five minutes of panicked clicking and internal screaming, reality hits me like a rock:
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
The only way out is to win this “death game.”
Oh, and wile reading the rules I found out that if you die you’re forced to watch a 5-minute ad to revive.
I fucking hate this every damned second!
Big bold letters appear in my face:
WELCOME TO THE BEGINNER VILLAGE OF EASYSTEAL
The creativity is already deader that my soul. I glance around, I see: Three houses, two merchants, five NPCs with copy-paste faces. There's at least a normal looking quest board that looks like it was stapled together with spaghetti.
This is as barebones as my cheapo hero tier sub.
Merchant 1:
Demonic Basic Armor: Requires 5-minute “Momo Creambath” ad.
Susss...
Cheapo Demonsteel Sword: Requires 5-minute “Demonic Polish” ad.
Polish again?!?
Merchant 2:
Demonic Imp Bazaar: Chibi versions of demonic bigwigs that costs absurd number of points. THERES A BIG BUY BUTTON NEXT TO THE EXIT BUTTON!!!
Lucile is the second-most expensive. Nocture is third. First place? A blocked character: Demon Queen – Premium Access Required
Of course, there's premium crap in here too.
I sigh and bite the disgraceful bullet.
First, the sword:
A dark ad appears.
A soft ASMR voice whispers about polish that's “so much better than the Hero’s.” I tune it out immediately. I hate ASMR with a passion, it grates at my ears.
Next, the armor:
A demonic cowgirl shills her “Ultra Sensitive Bathing Cream.” Ends with a cute “MOO~!”
This is such a waste of time and sanity.
I equip the gear and head for my first dungeon in this fresh hellscape.
The entrance is shaped like a jelly girl making a heart with her fingers.
Is this supposed to be a conquest game or a dating sim?!
Inside, my first enemy appears.
A village girl.
We enter battle phase.
She casts: “Turnip-Selling Ad Attack”
The ad misses.
My AD resistance is 99 (error).
I retaliate with “Slash.” One-hit KO.
She disintegrates into ad-particles. I sigh.
I reach the boss room: a Village Chief.
As I enter, a surprise AD Fireball hits me.
Resisted. My stats are broken. That's cool.
I use a basic attack. One-hit KO again.
A jingle plays: Ta-da-da-da!
I earn 1 store point and a loot box appears.
Pay 1 point to open this loot box.
The microtransactions begin, this is how they get ya. A small beginning to drag you deeper into the massive scam.
I ignore it and walk away. One measly point, I can use it later!!!
Thank god I used to work in an office—my grind tolerance is exceptionally well trained.
I pull up the map and its massive. There's a 90% probability its empty foliage.
The main quest is clearly the only thing worth doing I guess...
I try to leave the town.
Level 10 required.
I check my XP bar:
1/4 full.
...
Back to grinding.
Every dungeon attempt forces me to watch an ad.
This time: Nocture’s Feet Lotion Ad.
I grit my teeth and open it.
ASMR voice:
“Splish splash, hon. Legs stepping on a puddle. The best milky whites with Nocturine? Lotion. Subscribe for moooore~”
My health ticks down to 99/100 just from the unholy exposure.
It regenerates after two minutes of inactivity.
I fucking hate my life.
And thus, our hero begins his soul-crushing grind.
Slashing, dying, watching ads, hating feet.
Trapped in a VR hell where progress is paywalled and suffering is just free.