The wake… well… I’m not sure you could really class it as a wake. Wakes are normally quite solemn affairs. This was just a bunch of people getting pissed in a pub. The only other term that I can think of for it would be an after-party… but that makes it sound too jovial… fuck it… I’ll stick with wake… or maybe afterlife-party? No… stick with wake.

  Anyway… the wake was significantly less upsetting than I was anticipating. Cathy, Dietrich, and Farrow were all sat at one table, sharing stories about Agaroth, and laughing. Smutisha was swooping around the room buying everybody drinks. I think she feels guilty about this whole situation, so is throwing money at it… which is generally how she handles most situations if it’s an option.

  Asmodeus does not seem to have followed us to the tavern. Which is good. Last thing that I need is his unsettling self sitting in a corner and staring at me the entire time. He wasn’t the only one to drop out before the wake. Svampe had gone to meet Becky for their walk. Which I hope is going well. He can protest all he likes but he clearly likes the girl… and as Tadwick was pointing out… I doubt he trimmed his pubic hair just to meet a friend. The boy clearly has hopes… but I doubt he has the confidence to make the first move.

  Alexander was sat with Chloe and the rest of her knights, as well as my mum, all of which seemed to be getting through round after round. I’ll hand it to those guys… they can all certainly drink. Also… still weird to see my mum socialise with Lucas as an official couple. She has gone to a few knightly functions as his partner and I find it… unsettling… and nobody bats an eye. I know that I probably just take issue with it because she’s my mum… and I am trying to get over it… but it’s been four years… and no… I am not over it.

  Kiyui and I sat with Phoenix at a corner table. Not much was said. Kiyui is still struggling with this situation, Phoenix isn’t exactly a big talker, and I just had no idea what on earth to say. So, we mostly just sat there… drinking in quiet contemplation. I say quiet… the knights table was nearby… they made enough noise for both tables.

  At one point, Kiyui went to the bar to get us a fresh round of drinks. I took the opportunity to ask Phoenix about Clive. She said “he is an irritant from my past and I would rather he remain there.” So, she didn’t really give me much to go on.

  When I tried to ask a follow up question, she said that she needed to return home to her daughters and left. I should have known that I wouldn’t get much information out of her. If she doesn’t want you to know something, then she won’t be telling you. I still don’t know how she got the burns. At this point, I have just accepted that I am never going to find out.

  Kiyui and I left soon after Phoenix did. I could tell that Kiyui was struggling with being there. He’s normally so full of life when we visit taverns and things… but the guilt is clearly tearing him up inside.

  The walk home was pleasant. Even though we had been in the tavern for hours it was still only the middle of the afternoon… so it was still nice and warm. We walked with linked arms. We didn’t really talk… but I’ve learned over the years that silence can be nice. I used to panic when things went silent and I’d desperately try to think of something to say. Probably due to the whole being massively neurotic thing. But sometimes it is nice to just be quiet with him… just to take him in… his touch… his smell… his beauty… the way his hair lightly blows in the breeze. I know that we are both damaged… we both have our struggles… but I do genuinely believe that we can get through anything together.

  Svampe caught up to us on the road when we were almost home. He seemed happy. He walked along with us the rest of the way. Kiyui asked him how his walk had been. He said it was really nice… that he really likes spending time with her.

  I could smell foreign saliva on his face. They definitely kissed… and it wasn’t a quick peck either. He purposely didn’t mention that. And if he wasn’t bringing it up then I certainly wasn’t going to.

  I like that he’s nervous and private about this stuff. Don’t get me wrong… I like openness… I am all for openness. And if he ever has any issues, fears, or questions then I absolutely would like him to bring them up with us. But it is good to keep some things to yourself.

  Kiyui is so open about this stuff. He will openly talk about all the sex that he’s had, all the wild positions and situations, what was going through his head when it was happening, etc. I know that is who he is… and I know that that personality is a very large part of why I love him so much… but I would still prefer it if he had just a hint of modesty.

  When we got home, Olly was clearing away the art stuff in the garden. He was wearing a tiny pair of shorts and an apron covered in paint. I couldn’t see anybody else anywhere. There were easels and sheets of paper all over the place. Olly glanced over and smiled.

  Olly: “Hi guys. How’d it go?”

  Kiyui: “Better than I expected, in all honesty.”

  Olly: “And how about you? How’d the walk go?”

  Svampe: “It was great. We’re gonna do it again on Thursday.”

  Olly: “Glad to hear it.”

  Dwynfel: “Where is everyone else?”

  Olly: “Getting cleaned up. Dolly took Toria up to our place to use our bathroom. Nomius took all the boys into your bathroom because it’s bigger.”

  Dwynfel: “They really need that much cleaning?”

  Olly: “Some of them, no. Others, yes. I suspect it has probably turned into more of a water fight in there.”

  Kiyui pointed at a sheet of paper that was lying on the ground.

  Kiyui: “Umm, why does that one look like a bunch of dick prints?”

  Olly shook his head and laughed.

  Olly: “The little ones weren’t really ready for proper instruction in how to paint things. So, Tadwick led them in a finger-painting session.”

  Kiyui: “They definitely aren’t fingers.”

  Olly: “Well… pretty much instantly Tadwick had his clothes off, claiming he didn’t want to get paint on them. The little ones followed suit. Then it moved from finger painting to printing. I had cut some potatoes into different shapes for them to do the printing with, but you know what young boys are like. It soon descended into doing bottom prints, then dick prints, then it became a body painting session. So yeah, they are absolutely covered in paint.”

  Of course… I should have guessed that it would have been Tadwick leading such an activity. Everything is about “willies” and “bums” with that child.

  Dwynfel: “For fuck’s sake.”

  Svampe: “That does sound like the kind of thing that Tadwick would do.”

  Dwynfel: “Oh, I’m not surprised or in disbelief… but still… for fuck’s sake.”

  Olly: “It actually worked out really well. Messy play is good for kids. Gives them lots of sensory feedback. Oh, by the way, Tadwick wants to put the dick print one on his bedroom wall when it dries.”

  Dwynfel: “Of course he does…”

  Kiyui: “And how did the ones who weren’t painting with their genitals do?”

  Olly: “Why don’t you guys pop into the kitchen and I’ll bring them through and show you.”

  We went into the kitchen, got ourselves some glasses of water, and sat at the table while Olly brought the easels in with the kids’ work on them. We could hear the ridiculous noises of the boys splashing and playfighting in the bathroom.

  Olly went back outside to get the last two easels and little Johnny emerged from the bathroom.

  Johnny: “Hi… umm… do you guys have any cups in here?”

  Kiyui: “Yeah, sure. They’re in the cupboard under the sink.”

  Svampe: “What do you need cups for? Can’t you just drink from the tap in there? It’s connected to the same well water.”

  Johnny: “It isn’t about the water. It’s because I can do this with a cup.”

  He held two cups full of water in front of him. A cold blue frost spread from his hands around the cups. He took a sip from one of the cups.

  Johnny: “I like my water cold.”

  Kiyui: “Hang on, you didn’t say the spell…”

  Johnny: “Yeah, I thought you had to say the spells too. But I had a couple of lessons from this new tutor and he told me that you don’t. He taught me that it is all about visualising what you want the mana within your body to do. Saying spells is one way of doing that. But it isn’t necessary.”

  Svampe: “None of my magic requires spells.”

  Kiyui: “Flora didn’t use spells either, so I suppose that makes sense.”

  This sounds awfully familiar.

  Dwynfel: “What did this tutor look like?”

  Johnny: “I dunno… old. I only had a couple of lessons with him.”

  Dwynfel: “Did he charge you?”

  Johnny: “No. My parents thought it was one of those scams. Ya know, give you something for free, show you how great it is, then start charging later. But after two lessons he said he had taught me all he needed to and he just left.”

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  Dwynfel: “When was this?”

  Johnny: “Week after the crocodile thing. He was weird but what he taught me really helped me improve.”

  Kiyui: “He tell you anything other than silent spellcasting?”

  Johnny: “He said that there is more than one way to cast different spells. Ice is my specialty, but even simple ice spells like ice shard have multiple components.”

  Dwynfel: “You’ve lost me.”

  Johnny: “To cast ice shard, what you are actually doing is casting create water, freeze, and telekinesis at the same time.”

  That’s a good point, actually. I never thought of it like that. Because you are creating the ice out of nothing… so you would have to make the water, and unless the room you are in is freezing, then it would just be water. And even if you create the water and freeze it at the same time it will simply drop to the ground without telekinesis.

  Johnny: “So, if you can find a way to cut corners you can actually save on mana.”

  Kiyui: “Cut corners? How?”

  Johnny: “Wanna see a trick?”

  Kiyui: “Sure”

  Olly came in with the last two easels and started arranging the easels in a nice display arc. Johnny placed the cups down on the table, rolled his foreskin back and started to urinate. But the urine didn’t splash down on the floor. Instead, it travelled through the air and formed a ball in front of Johnny’s hand.

  He circled his finger and it started stretching out and tapering it to a point. It then started to freeze. It froze at the point first and as the final stream of urine joined the back of the yellow icicle it all froze solid. Then Johnny moved his hand forward and the icicle flew forward at tremendous speed, straight out of the window.

  Dwynfel: “Well, that was disgusting.”

  Kiyui: “Oh, wow. I get it, that’s really impressive.”

  Dwynfel: “Am I missing something?”

  Kiyui: “He skipped a third of the spell.”

  Dwynfel: “What?”

  Kiyui: “He didn’t need to use the create water part of the spell, because he obtained the fluid through other means.”

  Dwynfel: “Ah, right, okay. Yes, very impressive. But could you not have just used the tap?”

  Johnny: “Well yeah, but then it isn’t a party trick. And I know now that I’ll never lose a pissing contest again.”

  He stuck his tongue out and Kiyui started laughing. Incidentally… are pissing contests really that common?

  Johnny: “But he also taught me about humidity.”

  Dwynfel: “How is humidity relevant?”

  Johnny: “Because it means that if the environment is humid enough, I don’t even need to use something like wee or a tap or anything. I can freeze the water out of the air itself to create ice.”

  Okay, I am willing to admit… that does sound pretty cool. No pun intended. He has really improved a lot since I last saw him perform any ice magic.

  Dwynfel: “And you learned all of this from two lessons with this old man?”

  Johnny: “He just gave me the starting points. But it really helped me get to grips with my powers and I’ve been practising much more. I’m really enjoying it, now that I don’t have to bother with specific spells and can just do what feels right for me.”

  Kiyui: “Go for it, Johnny. You do you.”

  Dwynfel: “I still want to know more about this strange old man.”

  Johnny: “Not really much to say… think he was a priest or something. I did find it weird that a priest was teaching me about ice magic, but he seemed to know what he was talking about.”

  A fucking priest… it is isn’t it. It’s definitely him… fucking Clive. Anybody else’s lives that he’s fucking with? Me, Phoenix, now little Johnny? What the fuck is with this guy?

  Johnny picked up the cups off the table, and started walking back to the bathroom. Screams abounded from the door as he pushed it open with his hip.

  Johnny: “Hope you like the drawings.”

  He disappeared into the bathroom and the door closed behind him. I looked forward at the seven easels in front of the table. Hang on… seriously? I raised my hand.

  Olly: “Yes?”

  Dwynfel: “Why are they all pictures of a naked woman.”

  Kiyui: “That’s what a life drawing class is, Dwyn.”

  Dwynfel: “Really? But why are they all the same woman?”

  Kiyui: “Because they had a model.”

  Dwynfel: “They what?”

  Olly: “Cynthia from Madame Laurent’s agreed to model for us.”

  Fucking hell… well that certainly explains why a bunch of boys on the cusp of puberty were suddenly so interested in joining in on the art classes. And also, why the younger ones didn’t really care and were just dicking about with the paint. I thought it was odd that we passed a woman on the road back to the farm. There is rarely anybody on that road.

  Olly: “It seemed to go well today. Next time we are going to try a man. Tadwick offered to model, but I don’t believe he would stand still for long enough. So, Dolly’s going to model for that one. After that, we are going to move onto non-humans. Nomius is going to model for that. You can apply the basic principles of humans for most of his physical form. But obviously, the face, tail, claws, and twin penises can offer up complications.”

  This is turning into a whole thing… bloody hell. Mind you… the ones that had a go did a pretty good job of it. Some of these are really good.

  Kiyui: “So which one is which?”

  Olly: “Why don’t you guess?”

  Svampe: “Who attempted it for a start? I only see seven.”

  Olly: “Alexi, Grant, Charlie, Olmo, Xion, Toria, and Isha.”

  I glanced at the various paintings. The far left was immensely detailed. Right down to the mole on the woman’s thigh. It lacked expression but the detail was immense. So that one is obviously Alexi’s.

  Kiyui: “We all agree that the left one is Alexi’s, right?”

  Svampe & Dwynfel: “Yup.”

  Olly: “Correct.”

  Alexi is the only one whose art skills I actually have knowledge of… well… apart from Tadwick obviously… but he was busy body painting. For the rest… I will simply be guessing based on their personalities.

  Second from the left was pretty good. The women herself had a good shape, it was realistic, and effort had been put into her face. However, there was absolutely no detail in the vaginal area and the breasts had no nipples at all.

  Third from the left lacked a precise form. The woman was more of a series of blobs… almost like a snowman… they had obviously used too much paint and not known how to salvage it.

  The central piece had no paint on… it was a simple pencil drawing that somebody had taken a lot of time on and had done perfectly. The shading was amazing. Whoever it was had clearly run out of time and not been able to finish. This person is a perfectionist.

  Third from the right… the breasts were way too big… way bigger than any of the other drawings. Despite the oversized breasts the painting itself was pretty good. Although this person cannot draw hands… like… at all… those things… I don’t even know what they look like, but they don’t look like hands.

  Second from the right… was probably the most level drawing. They hadn’t massively focussed on one area, nor had they ignored others. They had painted the whole thing with relatively even care. All the edges were smooth, everything looked like it was meant to, but it was lacking in detail. Looked like it was a few hours from being finished.

  Finally… the far-right one was another pencil effort. Not as perfect as the central picture. There were mistakes here and there… where a hand had slipped… or where the pencil nib had clearly snapped. But despite the mistakes, this one was further along than the other pencil drawing. This one had more details, even if some of those details were quite clumsy… like the eyes being slightly uneven.

  Svampe, Kiyui and I sat and conferred for a bit about who we thought had done each one. Including Alexi’s, we managed to guess four of them correctly.

  Second from the left was Charlie’s attempt. Which we guessed correctly. We all know how nervous Charlie is around attractive women and we all agreed that he probably couldn’t bring himself to draw the vagina without having a nervous breakdown. Olly said he was really excited before the model got her clothes off… then he struggled to look at her without turning bright red, bless him.

  Third from the left was Grant. Which we had also guessed correctly. We figured that Grant would probably be the most likely to just rush in without knowing what he’s doing and use way too much paint.

  Central one we guessed was Olmo. We were wrong, it was Toria. Olly said that she was really focussed on getting it right and every time she made even the slightest mistake, she would throw it away and start again. So, I was right when I said the person that did that one was a perfectionist.

  Which does beg the question… why did she need to go to the bathroom to get cleaned up if she didn’t even use the paint. My guess is Tadwick… he probably flung paint on everybody at some point. He can be like a bloody tornado sometimes.

  Third from the right was Xion. Which we guessed. The kid loves breasts… it wasn’t difficult to work out.

  Second from the right was Isha… we guessed Toria. Olly said that he tried really hard and was really enjoying it. He has given Isha some paint supplies because he asked if he could try to finish it at home. Isha is quite an artistic soul… he is way more into the arts than sports.

  The final one was Olmo’s and we guessed Isha. In all honestly… we had no idea with the three that we got wrong. We just had those three left, so randomly picked a name for each one. But, to be fair, now that I know this one is Olmo’s… it does make sense. He is exactly the kind of person who would want to do something simple and even in the presence of a mistake he would adapt as best he could and carry on. He’s good like that… adaptable.

  Olly: “All in all, I think they have all done incredibly well. And the little ones had loads of fun just playing about with the paint… having a general messy play session.”

  Kiyui: “I agree. I think it was a resounding success. I’m going to pop into the bathroom and tell the boys how proud I am of them.”

  I saw Toria and Dolly walk past the kitchen window. I had better go with Kiyui and tell the boys that Toria is in the house now, so no more wandering naked into the kitchen for a drink.

  Actually… they’ve been flouncing about in front of her with their penises out all day… why am I even bothering at this point?

  Whatever… it’s getting late… these boys need to be getting their damn clothes on and go home. No way in hell are we having that many children over for a sleepover.