It was decided the best thing to do would be to take me back to my mother until I recovered. They modified a backpack, put me in it, and Agaroth carried me on his back.

  I still didn’t know what to say to them… what could I say to them? So, I pretended to be asleep during the journey. Kiyui kept trying to check on me… but he is a tad on the gullible side, so very readily believed that I was asleep.

  They barely spoke to each other during the journey. I know Phoenix & Agaroth don’t exactly get on, but I would have thought that given what had just happened they would have at least talked about it.

  When we arrived, my mother panicked… I could hear her begging them not to tell anybody. Unfortunately, that ship has likely sailed… I doubt Asmodeus would keep such a thing a secret for long.

  They placed me in my bed… and all went through into the kitchen so that they could explain what had happened to my mother. Oddly, after what felt like hours of pretending to be asleep, I was actually rather tired. I tried to listen to what was being said in the next room but I couldn’t… I ended up drifting off.

  I was awoken by my mother stroking my head. I opened my eyes to look at her. I couldn’t speak… I felt my eyes filling with tears… she pulled me into her chest and hugged me. We just sat there for what felt like an age. We didn’t exchange a word. It had been a long time since my mother held me like that. Despite everything that had happened, I still found it comforting.

  I hadn’t realised how much I missed her smell when I was away from her, but being so close to her brought back so many memories… when she fed me… when she bathed me… all the times I lashed out at her and she held me close until I exhausted myself… and the way she comforted me afterwards.

  Why did I choose to leave her? What was I thinking? I should have just stayed on the farm… I wouldn’t have ruined anybody’s lives… I could have used my bow on wolves and other animals to protect this place. I was selfish… I put what I wanted above the lives of those around me… goblins are inherently selfish… I am no different… I feel so ashamed.

  Once I had cried every drop of water from my system, my mother explained that the others had gone into town to check on what the guild knew and to collect Kiyui’s stuff from Asmodeus’ house.

  I asked why. She told me that they did not think Asmodeus would want him there anymore and even if he did… Kiyui did not feel comfortable around him. Which I really do not understand… he is comfortable with me… the goblin that has done nothing but lie to him… yet is not comfortable with the paladin adonis who has shielded him from harm and rescued him from a life of prostitution by giving him somewhere to stay. That boy is bewildering.

  Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  Dwynfel: “But where will he stay now?”

  Indira: “He is going to stay with us.”

  Dwynfel: “He can’t!”

  Indira: “Why not?”

  Dwynfel: “We don’t have a spare room.”

  Indira: “He can stay in here with you… there’s plenty of room.”

  Absolutely not… I’m sorry, but no.

  Dwynfel: “I can’t share a room with him… he’ll see me.”

  Indira: “I think we are a bit beyond that, don’t you?”

  Dwynfel: “Just cause they know… it doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with it!”

  Indira: “You are going to have to get comfortable with it. He has offered to look after you until your arms recover. He is also going to help out on the farm since my farm hand is unlikely to show up now that everyone knows about you. Your friend Agaroth said that Kiyui will have lots of transferable skills. He then made an obscene gesture… I am unsure of the connection. What was Kiyui’s previous occupation?”

  I had to pause for a moment to process everything that she had just said… and then another moment to think about whatever Agaroth had implied.

  Dwynfel: “Urgh… I’m going to kill Agaroth when I can move my bloody arms again. You don’t want to know what he was implying mum.”

  Indira: “Oh…”

  Dwynfel: “But Kiyui’s arm is injured… he can’t be that much help.”

  Indira: “He assured me that his injury is not as bad as it looks. In fact, he has been refusing healing spells.”

  Damn it… does that boy have no sense at all?

  Dwynfel: “I wish he wouldn’t do that. He is only doing it cause he wants Agaroth to focus on me.

  Indira: “He is a sweet boy and he clearly cares about you. They all do. You have made some truly sweet friends.”

  Dwynfel: “Not all of my friends stayed though… did they?”

  Indira: “I’m sorry about Tilda. I know you liked her.”

  Dwynfel: “You knew?”

  Indira: “You have done nothing but talk about the girl for the last four years… you barely mentioned the others when you got home. You are not as subtle as you think.”

  If she knew about how I felt for Tilda then why didn’t she say something… stop me somehow… she knows what I am… I should have stopped partying with them as soon as I realised how I felt. I’m a grim… we rape women… as soon as I had any lustful feelings, I should have run the other way. If we had been in the wrong situation, I could have lost control. I can never afford to lose control.

  I should have found a party of big burly men… then there would be no risk of that. I hate myself for my own feelings… frankly it is a miracle my friendship with her lasted this long. Still… at least she didn’t ruin her career by defending me like the other three… I can take some solace in that.