I was pulling the carriage as a Marie clone with four tails. I was also with Sir Ujan as he was taking oaths from Elves to never harm the Queendom. The better to spread rumors of where Aurora was. It was weird seeing through both bodies. Sharing all my senses was tough. How will it be with a third attention?

  “Say when ya want to switch girlie.” Stone shouts from the top of the carriage.

  “Thank you for your concern, Stone Cleaves for Profit. I will handle today's efforts.” I shout back. I can feel him becoming uncomfortable with my words. He is unused to me addressing him so formally.

  Speaking of uncomfortable, I can feel it radiating from inside the carriage.

  “You were right, she is afraid to be near me now.” Glindinal murmurs. I wince.

  “Is that so?” Delores says with a bit of hostility.

  They both know I can hear them.

  “I still think it was wrong.” Glindinal seethes.

  “To allow her happiness.”

  “She would have resented it after she knew more.”

  “Very likely, but she at least would have had a happy memory to go with all that weighs her down.”

  “You're just being selfish and dressing it up.”

  “Very much so. I only have so much time.”

  “O just cause your Lark has a time limit you get to jerk her around.”

  “Hmmm Lark, o right what Elves call a lifetime. No, I am likely to live till I am slain.”

  “Bold to claim immortality for a tier one.” Glindinal says with a bit of a sneer.

  “I have a seed containing her blood here. When she is ennobled, it will dissolve and I'll start on my road to becoming a Vampire. It was a thrilling thought at first. To walk forever with her. But Red is cruel. She only offers me a path to being her daughter. I will never be more than that. So I was selfish at the one chance she would be free from her guilt and memories.”

  I frown at that. But it's true. I had offered it as a consolation to the fact that she would never be able to be that way with me. The mood is heavy.

  “What was she like? Before I knew her?”

  “Violet? She oscillated from mischievousness to awkwardness. Of the two she yearned to be free of the morality and empathy that Red had. She started out rather dangerous but became almost protective at times. I was both frightened and enthralled by her.”

  In more ways than one. I still cringe at what I had done. Another of my crimes.

  “You say Red was the empathic one?”

  “Yes, she felt the most pain from her actions but the most likely to also do hard things to push through said pain. The time they spent with me was a period of healing for them. I didn't learn of Red's crimes until her execution. Funny enough it was rather freeing for her. I think she felt a need to pay for her crimes. That or her project to save Violet focused her.”

  “How was delivering her to Cea considered saving her?” Glindinal followed this with a snort.

  “She never told me how Violet ended up in the north. Tell me, what was Violet like without memory?”

  “Aurora…she was rather innocent and timid about everything. Yet her ability to shrug off pain and injury was frightening. There is a madness in her laugh. But it's soothing to hear now. Anytime you hear it, you get a sense of your worth to her.”

  “O I must get her to laugh for me then.”

  There's an awkward silence that was answered enough to that statement.

  -----

  I check on Randinrin, already knowing. She is shivering from the thirst she generated today. She was sitting in the clinic with the knights.

  “I'm okay, my [Queen].” She lies to reassure me.

  “You do a disservice by lying, miss Randinrin.”

  “Sorry.” I give her shoulder a pat with my not creepy hand. She grabs the hand before I go. “Your hand is colder than I am.”

  “It is as you say.” She still hasn't let go. She looks at me.

  “How many more today?”

  “Just one.” She looks hopeful, “But it was old.” I ended up chasing away the hope.

  “Why can't you gain [Resist Undeath].” She murmurs.

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “I fundamentally embraced it. Same reason I can't gain one for desire either.”

  She just huffs a sigh. “I made it to Intermediate today.”

  “That is most excellent news, miss.”

  She frowns, “Adjusting to you being different was hard, now it feels like it is happening all over again.”

  “Apologies, these tails force a bit of mental rigidity. I am still Sara under it all.”

  She barks a laugh at that. “Right…not Aurora.”

  My chest clenches at her words. “Miss, I need to get to my duties. For your sake as well.”

  “Of course, my [Queen].”

  -----

  The illusion lets go. I drink from my bloodskin. It provides little comfort. The blood is dead. I sigh. Her thirst at least was relieved. The fire snaps in front of me. I can feel the scales start to cover my arms.

  “You got a dour face goin’, Mourns.” Stone spoke.

  “I suppose I do, just feeling melancholy.”

  “Ah leavin’ friends behind can do that.” He says sagely.

  “They already have left me.” I murmur.

  He gives an annoyed look at that, “Don't be like that, you came back as somethin’ different. You can't expect them to not have difficulties.”

  “I know that, but I'm alone as well. It wasn't supposed to be this way. You don't understand. For two years I suffered with Cea and being without my other half. The awful part is for one of those years it was just love. A lie that could have gone on forever. But seeing the lie just twists it. Twists me. I can't even complain to myself about it.”

  The carriage door kicks open. A rather incensed Glindinal comes up to me.

  “I'm here aren't I.”

  I met her glare, “You're here in the hope that Aurora returns how you want her. Frightened and naive.” I catch her wrist before she can commit to the slap. “I've had enough with you and Rin looking at me as if I had died. I'm right here, Glindinal.” I push her back, she stubbles a bit but catches herself. I return to the fire. The scales start to cover my neck.

  “Mourns…” My glare shifts to Stone. He sighs, “I ain't here to get in the middle of this.”

  “Do you not hurt seeing the change?” Glindinal asked Stone from behind me.

  “Girlie, I knew from the start that Mourns were going to be different after she regained herself. That's just how memory works. I instead take the time to see the similarities. She still nibbles bread like a rodent.”

  I frown at that, which only makes him give a wry grin. I hear the carriage door slam again.

  -----

  “I haven't seen this many scales on you since the night you were let go from house Xavious.”

  Delores caught me while I was wiping myself down. It's annoying that people are awake when I need to do the basics. “Just getting ready for Gadvak.”

  “Do you think you'll be able to clear it?” She asks without all that much interest.

  “No, I expect to die. Truthfully the best I can hope for is becoming embedded as an undead monster in the dungeon and slowly wither Cea away.” I don't care anymore.

  “You still don't remember everything, do you?” Not an admonishment.

  “I remember enough.”

  “Really, what's your mother's name?” Cea…I frown. “You can't think of more than just one can you.” She sits there cupping her face in her hands as she sits there. “So did you choose to focus on your pain or is that just what came up first as you started looking back.”

  I sigh, “I felt it important to remember why I was here and what promises I had made.”

  “No wonder you are looking forward to being a corpse in Gadvak.”

  “If you're trying to make me laugh, I—”

  “No Sara, I have no desire to learn how much you value me. Not as you are. I suppose I should be glad your plan wasn't flat out ending yourself. So how much of our time together have you let drift away to remember that far back.”

  I look at her, “I remember you keeping me sane in Lea's shop but my service to you before that is hazy, some parts float in, others float out.”

  She barks a laugh, “Hearing your plans I don't think you were sane at the time. You used to sing for me once. A lament and crazy catchy tunes in a language I didn't know. Depending on which you were at the time. But it was with purpose, to train me to resist your voice. Which saddens me to be honest. Even when having fun you are always trying to further some goal.” I give her a look, trying to find the meaning to her words. “Even now you're trying to decipher my words when I am just indulging in whimsy.” A new frown greets her laugh. “Ha, I'm right.”

  “Was there anything I did for the sake of doing then?”

  She looks up, thinking on that. “Pouring tea. There is no reason to go to the lengths you do but you seem to delight in the act.”

  “I'll have to buy a tea set in Maknor then.”

  “See that you do, make sure to invite that Elf for a cup.” I raise an eyebrow, “She needs to see what perfection means.”

  -----

  “She who Mourns.”

  “Thats what the card says.”

  “Your hair is different.”

  “Thought I try something new.”

  The guard peers at me.

  “I watched you get executed.”

  “Guess it didn't take.”

  “Suppose it didn't, monster.”

  I raised an eyebrow as I was given back my card. He just ushered me forward. After everyone was past the east gate, I pulled the carriage to the Sdrae estate. Delores came out.

  “Thank you, Sara. I'll make sure to post a request completion at your usual guild hall. You do remember which one it is, right?”

  I scoff then frown, “Ummm, which one?”

  She rolls her eyes and points to the west gate. I take my two barrels of blood and head west. The walk back was quiet. Glindinal wanted to ask something.

  “Just ask.”

  “Why was that guard so hostile towards you?”

  “I forged a new pariah title here. I'm sure everyone here hates me. Or at least all those I never knew.”

  “I don't understand.” She answers back.

  “Sure you do. You can see my horns. Everyone who saw my execution can see my horns. They heard my laugh and knew I saw no value in any of their lives.”

  “Mourns, that can't possibly be true.” Stone grumbles.

  I see all of them staring at me. “Which part, the horns or my cynicism?”

  “It was two years ago.” He implores.

  “And pariah titles never forget. Even if I hide it they all still can feel it. Just like the guard, they recognize me. It was the event of the city. An eleven year old being executed by the Queendom. I was quite the spectacle.”

  I walk into the guild hall in silence. I find something surprising. A Tibyder mans the reception counter. I don't remember her…wasn't there a Dwarf? She recognizes me though. She scurries around the counter.

  10 40 Tibyder Guild Receptionist, Tier 3 Adventurer, Vampire

  “Fuck, She who Mourns. It really is you.” The Tibyder exclaims. She looks off to the side, as if hearing something, then scrunches her face at me. “Why have you broken off communication with my mistress for a month.”

  “I've had a bit of a memory problem. Miss?”

  Her eyes widened at that. “Are you serious? They are going to be here this evening to yell at you. I'm going to go tell the guild master you're here so she can give me the key to your room again.” She scurries away, “Seriously, fucking memory loss.” She murmurs.

  She didn't say her name. Who are they? I have a room? Stone slaps me on my arm, distracting me from my questions.

  “Seems ya got some here who don't hate ya.”

  I grew a bit nervous. I turned to Stone. “Do you know how much a tea set costs?”