…

  7-12-1704

  …

  I sold my first potion today. It was Harold who bought it. He was skeptical that it would restore a person's mana but he said he trusted me. Even after all the absurdity that had happened to me. The persistent nag—

  …

  -----

  I am not a nag. Lea rolls her eyes. Starting to get used to it. Had too, it seems she does it everytime I think.

  “Only when you nag me, nag.” She retorted, “Besides, it's my diary. I can write whatever I want, it's how I felt about the day, not how you felt.”

  Are you sure he is not going to reveal you were the elf, Lancea? She grows annoyed again.

  “Don't even think of my old name either. Telling you, she can hear that shit. As for Harold, no he is not going to say anything to any Elf. He didn't talk to me for a year.”

  The only gnome I ever met without a ‘nae’ at the end.

  “O he has a ‘nae’, he just feels Harold’nae is annoying to hear.”

  But it's his name. She just shrugs at that. She looks out at the various wares.

  “Without you making stuff, we are going to run out.”

  There still a massive amount of swords and knives made.

  “Sure but what happens after those run out?”

  I dunno, doubt we will run out before the end. She just grows annoyed at that.

  -----

  Lea is on her hands and knees gasping. I myself am suffering from my muscles ripping. The body is in stasis but it still feels the pain. I wonder if it spooked the capital again.

  “What the hell was that?”

  O, sorry. I think that was tier five.

  “They seriously executed a tier five?”

  I was tier four at the time.

  “Ya sure whatever, but being near tier five. Hell you're a war asset at that point. Free to use against invading armies in defense. I figure Atlas would have forgiven any crime for that.” Lea gets up and starts to head to the potion display.

  My soul value on my status screen is always below what it actually is. I had a thousand soul or so on me but another thousand on Mags. Lea stops at that.

  “You're not just tier five but almost six…” She squeaks outs.

  Not like I can gain skills right now. Or exp.

  “Your sister could…”

  Still would require leveling, and I don't think she is going to be allowed.

  “Ya queen bitch tended to cull any Elf getting close to four, or so the rumor goes.”

  -----

  …

  8-12-1704

  …

  Yesterday, I learned that Atlas is the dumbest country ever. When faced with a rapidly tiering child they execute her instead of reforming her. And sent off the other half to their neighbor. Perhaps the powers that be simply hope that whatever insanity Sara is will destroy the Elf Empire. Personally, I hope she does.

  …

  -----

  …

  “What, now?”

  I don't want to destroy an empire.

  “Ya, well if you get the [Empress], I don't give a shit. O stop feeling bad about it, systems every fucking time I think about slaying, you get sad.”

  But—

  “No buts, tired of you growing all mopey.”

  I want to explain more when I feel a burning in my body. Fuck I hate that I feel everything even while in supposed stasis. I think an arcane core just grew into my body. She rolls her eyes.

  “Of course, it did.”

  My mana is still stuck though. I can't feed it. Weird the other cores hadn't grown in. Maybe the difference between physical cores and the nascent one.

  -----

  …

  16-12-1704

  …

  I finally managed to convince the nag Sara to allow me to harvest her blood slime. I only took a quarter but I have also been steadily growing it with the refuse the adventurer had left behind. The child made outhouses at every level after seeing what I was doing. As if adventurers would trust a small confined space in a dungeon.

  Her potion machine worked like a charm, though. At least we won't run out of those goods. Now to convince her to let me drain the blood from her hydras to make some cheaper potions.

  If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

  …

  -----

  Absolutely not. Don't you upset my babies right as they are starting to rear their sisters. Besides you could just water down my current potions.

  “Your water down potion would still be considered too dangerous to sell more than one of per visit.”

  That is a problem.

  “Come on, it's just a bit of blood. They will be fine and I am sure Sir Ujan will sign off on selling regular healing potions.”

  You don't have clear slime though.

  “Not like you couldn't make a few.”

  It's a bit of soul mana prohibitive to have you slay dungeon slime.

  “Ya well, your frozen level is a bust cause you can't fill them with slimes. It's about time you pull it in.”

  Damn it. I'm leaving it as is…I'll pull out the dungeon blood slime.

  “Not like anyone made it there anyways. How bout you have the blood slime show up initially for the first group that arrives that have it randomly appear in the various instances. We could have a new hunt for a mithril hare moment.”

  They wouldn't care unless they managed to bring some back.

  “So let them kill it on the first encounter.”

  You monster.

  She rolls her eyes, “Says the one who claimed monsterhood herself. O what now.”

  Sorry, I never got to talk to mom about it.

  “What are you talking about? You practically had hearts to hearts with everyone about how you were a monster.”

  No not that…the Anvar memory, he interrogated my grandma. She said I died when I first met Cecelia…my mom. That I became attached to her because of it. Because she restarted my heart.

  “Wait, you think you became a monster because your heart stopped.”

  Wouldn't I be considered undead?

  “Depends how long your heart had stopped for. It seems like you need to ask questions of her. I could write her a letter.”

  O sure send a letter to the battlefront she can't leave, ‘Hey mom, am I an undead abomination because you couldn't restart my heart in time?’

  “I mean why not. Look your heart stopped, big woop, Life mage saved you before you became super brain damaged. Probably only slightly brain damaged.”

  I give a mental eye roll. And if my heart stopped again after my mana ran out?

  “...”

  Damn it.

  “You would have gained skills at the time, I'm sure there is an explanation that isn't I am a super cursed monster.”

  …

  “O what now?”

  I was [Voiceless] at the time.

  “Meaning, what?” Lea spits out testily.

  Pariah title, it prevented skill gains.

  “Your life sucks.”

  …

  “Sorry, fine maybe…just maybe you started your undead turn a bit before you thought you had. Does it matter, like truly matter?”

  Does it? I still want to talk to mom about it. But in the end? No, she gave me a second chance, and I'll do my best with it.

  “Is that before or after a fountain burns out your soul?”

  There is that issue. I catch a glimpse of something above her head when she rolls her eyes. What's that above you? She looks up.

  “Eh what my Tapestry?”

  She looks up. It's so beautiful…

  “The hell you on about…ah fuck my eyes.”

  The view pans down for a moment. Sorry I think I just added the ability to see ultra violet to your eyes.

  “Fuck, warn a girl, now what are you saying abo…systems it is beautiful. How have we not been seeing this…”

  We stare at her Tapestry for a bit. It's interrupted as my soul is torn. Is she trying to separate us? Will I die…

  “Sara, Sara.”

  I don't want to…

  -----

  …

  27-12-1704

  …

  Sara has been morose for the last few days. I miss her nagging. All I can get out of her is they are gone. When asked who was, her only reply was that she couldn't remember. Dummy even acquiesce to me harvesting her live hydra. I should totally go do it. Right after I finish this entry. Totally go and rip a head off and create a blood fountain.

  …

  -----

  “Like seriously stop moping inside me already.”

  She is right…I separate from her body.

  “What are…the fuck, your still here.”

  … I look towards my permanent entrance. Lea looks to the couture mirror and scowls at her horns. The scowl remains when she looks at me.

  “I thought you said you would get pulled to your body if you left mine. Have you been fucking with me this whole month?”

  No…I should have been pulled, my hand was but it's—

  “Sara, are you ignoring me?”

  I turn to Lea, she can't hear my thoughts. Right, I lost the ability to send my thoughts to people. I go to speak…and I can't. Seems my faustian bargain took more than I thought. Usually does. I touch her arm. Lea, I think they brought my body to my entrance in the plains. I can't direct my thoughts without touching you…and I can no longer speak.

  “Shit, your fountain is going to be at the plains…can you just claim your body?”

  …No, I think I have to mentally be in the body. Which currently is frozen, mentally.

  She fishes out familiar bottle, “Fuck, but there is no one else.”

  The bottle disappears from her hand.

  “The hell Sara, you want to die?”

  Don't do that for me, I'm still damned. You'd be saving someone who likely will not exist in the next few months anyways.

  “I don't have time for your depression Sara, give me back the bottle.”

  I let go of her arm and went to see my body.

  -----

  Isabella is standing over a shallow hole. My grave I suppose. She sees me and is startled. My waving doesn't help. Shouldn't have used my left.

  “How … what are you?”

  I float over to her, she cringes but lets me touch her. Sorry I can't direct thoughts without physically touching.

  “Is it truly you…”

  In the…well ghost I suppose. I had the ability prior to my execution. So today is the day my soul begins to burn away for the Queendom.

  “I'm sorry…I feel they would have gone with imprisonment if they hadn't learned so much about you. That your confrontation with the knights resulted in your execution because you were deemed uncontainable. I pushed for the citadel…”

  She looks hollowed out. I looked at her and shook my head. You did what you thought was best…I still hate that it went immediately to containment but it was never driven by malice. I still was the one who killed all those people. I deserve this.

  “You are just a child, Sara.” She screams at me.

  I was a bit shocked. I just grow more morose. Isabella…my soul is being torn apart…this fountain might be the only escape I have from a much worse fate. I let go of her arm.

  “Is that it then, you're just giving up. You stopped your soul from shattering before. Are you telling me that was for nothing? I still have nightmares of you ripping me apart, Sara. Don't say it was for nothing…”

  Count Ericnae walked up to Isabella. He rubs her slumped figure but says nothing. Seems we had an audience. Four knights are my pall bearers. They placed my coffin into the grave. I barely notice it as I stare at my Tapestry. It's immense. There is so much to it. I see the parts I hated, almost cancerous and yet there are sparkles of color there. I reach and touch it.

  There are murmurs above me asking what is going on. I ignore it all. I touch a bit…Hanki…and my Tapestry begins to pull it tighter to myself. I hadn't meant for that but his memories are now my memories, no longer a cordon off nightmare. They are terrible and cruel and sad but there was joy and camaraderie. A murderer sympathizing with a murderer. My ghost spasms. A giggle escapes. I touched another…Frank…total bastard and in it for himself…he still laughed. And now I'm laughing. I touch another and another…they become more of my whole. Memories, horrible but mine now. A greater sin, a monster more deserving of death. To be expunged. Hilarious. But every soul I pull in, I feel their quaking desire to survive, to continue. They only live through me. If I no longer exist, they too will cease. Am I to deny them another chance to be better? To do better? Another chance to laugh.

  I look up from my grave and float out, my giggles follow me. I watch as they fill it. I move my mind into my core. If my body wasn't in stasis I am certain it would become rather pallid. They seem relieved…was I laughing out loud. That’s pretty funny.

  Nevermind, giggle. If one can resist [Drain Mana] who to say you can't resist [Drain Soul]. They pat down my grave. They then slowly place a fountain over the spot.

  Ericnae looks at me, “Sorry.” I start to cackle again, sorry? Is there a card for that? Sorry, we melted your soul down for clean water and a bubble, get well soon.

  He taps the interface and my chest is pierced by something rather sharp. I can feel it begin to pull my soul, time begins to slow. It's days that I am mentally stuck in, alone with my giggles, fighting my obliteration when my memories join me in the core…they're also my sister's memories. Her mind is here for a second. We connect. So that's how it is. Funny.

  -Red…

  You need to go back Violet…otherwise she may try to breach this…can you leave your memories behind while I break this fountain?

  -You were always willing to be cruel.

  This will not be the end. There is still laughter to be had.

  -It will be the end, just not for us.

  I just laugh at her cringe.