19-10-1706

  …

  Another purification. Another evening lost. I try to count my steps into that room. Just to see where it cuts off. I don't remember any steps. I will have to start earlier next time.

  …

  -----

  “Repeat to me the five rules of castle etiquette.”

  I am standing as straight as possible, “Do not look at those above you in status, do not speak to any above your status, only engage with those below you in status. Answer quickly and concisely when someone above you in status questions you.”

  “And?”

  “There is no one below a princess in status.”

  “I should not need to ask twice, child.”

  The matron was as awful as always.

  “Now then stand there in a neutral pose for an hour. Only the slightest of breaths and no catching anyone's eyes. I will be back for you then.”

  She places a tea cup on my head, everytime there is more water in it. At least I hope it is water. My eyes are downcast, as is proper. Two attentions and both bored out of my mind. I don't really get it. Mother never admonishes me for these etiquette lapses. You have gained another level of [Cea'Nila Noble Etiquette]. I don't even get the chance to hide my smile, my chest burns fiercely. I collapse, water drenching me. My breathing is heavy. Systems why. Before the Matron can yell at me, mother is here. She picks me up in a princess carry and returns me to my room.

  -----

  …

  20-10-1706

  …

  I lost a day. I can see an entry from yesterday, but I don't remember writing it. For the best, I think. Yesterday was etiquette class. I hate it with a passion. It always ends with me standing still for two hours. She always says one but doesn't remove the cup till after two. The one time I removed it myself, I was yelled at for breaching etiquette. Apparently taking initiative is frowned upon if you have standing orders to wait for your superior.

  …

  -----

  Mother brought me into a room with two goblin skeletons. They are docile. There is a human skeleton next to them. I wait for her to speak.

  “Sarcea, exert your [Mana Aura] over the human skeleton.”

  I do as she says. I don't question it. I shouldn't have a mana aura. But it's now enveloping the skeleton. I feel resistance to my aura but it's a trifle. Soon the human skeleton is looking at me like the other two.

  I turn to see mother looking pale. She looks to be giving commands. I called that her telepathy face. She seems to assume it constantly. Busy being the empress.

  “Alright, would you make your aura again, sunny.”

  I smile at that, and do as I am told. She then floods the area in her own. My aura is knocked out immediately. I don't understand why but I just let it flow over me.

  “Do you feel any different?”

  I shake my head in the negative. She bites the thumb in indecision. When she finally reaches a conclusion she looks at me again. Her aura retracts.

  “Sarcea, stop breathing.”

  I stop. My lungs protest but no matter what I do, I do not draw more breath. I collapse to the floor. Why have I not lost consciousness? My heart beats furiously. Until it stops too. I'm dead…but still here. I look at the skeletons. Undead, I begin to panic.

  “Sarcea, stand up.”

  I do so. Still looking around nervously.

  “This is the first time I brought you to death, you appear to still possess emotion.” She is almost clinical in her assessment.

  I look at her scared. I grow even more scared as a part of me yearns for this. To remain like this.

  “Sarcea, push out your mana aura.”

  I do so, she then floods the area again with her own. My aura subsumed, my head snaps to her ready for her orders. My fears vanish. She gasps. A soul tether between us now exists.

  “Now your emotions are gone. Can you still think?”

  “Yes.”

  “You speak in the voice of the dead. Also curious. Surrender your control of those three to me.”

  I do so. I watch her shiver, the soul threads transfer to her. A new live goblin is brought in. I can feel its fear. The three skeletons kill it. A new soul thread attaches to me as the goblin rises.

  “Hmmm, I didn't gain a new connection. Is it attached to you?”

  “Yes.”

  “So the curse of undeath continues but it still attaches them to you. A mixed result then. Nothing to bother with until we procure the body. One last test.”

  She severs the soul thread between us. My panic resumes. She lets out a sigh. The skeletons are still attached to her.

  “Excellent, I must admit, that connection felt close to being burdensome. It would seem any who would dare control you in such a way would need to be formidable if they wish to control you for long.”

  I didn't understand. She pulls a necklace out.

  “Sarcea, put this on and revive your body.” She thinks on that for a moment, “And resume breathing when you can.”

  I do as she asks. The necklace runs out of power. I collapse but my heart has a faint beat, my breathing is shallow. Mother removes my necklace with a curious look.

  “The necklace is out of power but you are barely alive. Your healing was stronger before…”

  So damn thirsty. She looks down and notices my distress. She returns me to my room. Another princess carry for the princess.

  -----

  …

  26-10-1706

  …

  Missing a week this time. There are no entries for the last few days. My body feels weak. I hate this. I hate this curse. What did I do to deserve this? No one is around for me to talk to. They wouldn't anyways. Just a princess. On her first Lark. To be despised.

  …

  -----

  Standing with a cup on my head. Trying not to tremble. She had me in the hallway this time. So others could walk by me.

  “Your form is poor. First you collapse and now you can barely stand.”

  I want to protest but that would be a breach of decorum. So I continue to look downcast while I try my best not to spill the cup of water. I collapsed last time? Was that what led to my weakness?

  I'm unsure how much time has passed. My body feels exhausted.

  “You're not looking too great there, Sar.”

  Tona is in front of me. I continue to maintain my pose. The matron says nothing. Clearly waiting for me to engage and break decorum. What he does is take the tea cup and drinks the water. He puts it back as the matron glares at him from behind his back.

  “There, much more manageable. Try to feel better.”

  It took everything to not smile. At least I felt no desire to laugh. The matron was watching.

  -----

  Dinner is a quiet affair. The food was best described as sufficient. I was at a table seated next to mother with not a word said and no one but us. We used to talk until I began etiquette class then she told me it was for the best to maintain decorum. So now it is silent. Mother would get her telepathy face every once in a while. Chewing and blank. She took no joy from the meal either. When done, as always, she would walk past me, pat my head once and go to her office. She left her dish on the table. I would too when done. To return to my room for my short sleep.

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  -----

  …

  27-10-1706

  …

  Tona gave me a bit of kindness on a hard day. If this is what he is really like I could see a future there. If only to do as mother requires of me. I never asked her how many she wanted. I hope none of them will be princesses.

  …

  -----

  I'm taking a bit of initiative today. Instead of going to the library I am going to go watch Rin and Tona do mage training. Not like anyone cares what I do. So long as I don't leave the castle grounds. I get various looks as I go where I last heard them. Apparently their training room is sound warded. I think it was this door.

  Nope just an angry scribe looking at me. I quickly close and leave. To be honest I should have known better. I can hear the rising heart beat of the guy. So let's try a room with no sounds. It makes sense now that I thought about it. This one?

  A room with shelves of black red orbs greets me. I shouldn't be here. I close the door quickly, my heart rate increasing. I slump down. What was that room…nevermind I get up and start to find the next quiet door when a door in the hallway opens and a head pokes out.

  “Sar? Are you looking for us?” Rin shouts out to me.

  I make sure no one is watching and hustle over to her. Ready to start the slow gait if necessary. The girl smiles at my antics. She lets me in and I see a bunch of youths with one adult, Lincor.

  Another of the princes. Considered the opposite of a princess, they were some of the longest lived elves. Primarily due to them never being allowed out of the castle. Whatever crime they committed they were never allowed another Lark outside. They all hated mother.

  I stand in the back as Rin rejoins the others. They are learning water magic. Lincor created a dirt mound and they would use their water constructs to try and grind it away. I watch with a bit of wonder. Some would try to move their constructs across the mound, others would shoot tiny little jets at it…and each other. It made me smile when one attempted to just douse the entire structure.

  “Why not join them in their attempts.”

  I nearly jumped out of my skin. I see Lincor give me a patient smile. Bleeding telepathy.

  “Come down here, let's see what mother's latest can do.”

  “I can't.” I murmur.

  He gives me a wry look, “Can't what.”

  “Do magic.” Another murmur.

  The entire class looks at me when I say it, aside from Rin and Tona. Lincor just laughs.

  “For one who can't do magic, you seem capable of receiving telepathy.” He shouts that across the room.

  The other looked at him confused. I am as well. Lincor looks at one of his students.

  “Glindinal, what is the minimum requirement to receive telepathy?”

  The girl with red hair looks annoyed at being singled out, “[Mental Magic] Competent.”

  But that can't be right…I don't have magic. Certainly not enough to train it up to such a level. I'd need a core to even make any decent progress. It's what all the books say. He just motions me forward. I stand in front of him and he places a hand on my chest. His mana pushes into me. It feels gross.

  “Now then, when it feels like yours, try to make more of it.” His eyes gain blue Ys on top of them.

  I shrug and wait. It takes a while but it's mine. I doubled its size immediately. I feel a bit exhausted but there was no struggle…I don't understand. The man just has a rather wicked grin on his face.

  “O so very fast, miss magicless. Now then form a construct and attack my mound of dirt.” He seems to be having fun with me. His other students are looking rather annoyed at me. Regardless of what he says.

  “I don't have a mana aura.” I say with down cast eyes.

  “Nonsense, everyone has one if they have magic. We already proved you have [Mental Magic], Sarcea.” He chides me.

  Try as I might, no mental aura exudes out of me. The man is studying me with white Ys now.

  “Seems yours doesn't extend past your skin.” He murmurs.

  The class laughs while he just considers it. The wry grin returns.

  “Place your palms together and focus your water mana there. Just keep it that small spot between your palms. When you feel you are at your limit, thrust your hands out like this.”

  He fans his hand outwards. It looks rather silly but I must do as he says. I am beneath him in status. Beneath everyone.

  Hands together. The water mana builds. I squeeze more into it. More and more go in. My body feels empty, but the water mana grows denser still. The grin on Lincor grows.

  “Is she ever going to actually do anything?” A random boy says.

  I sigh, I thrust my hands out. The piece of dirt gets hit by a handful of water. It weathers it as I crumble from the various laughter in the room. Lincor just studies me further. He is about to say something when he gains telepathy face. He turns to me.

  “Seems my fun is over for now.” He sends via telepathy.

  “Class dismissed, I seemed to over stepped myself everyone and need to report for a scolding.”

  The class looks at me with annoyance but disperses. I walk out of the room and head for the library. Rin catches me before I can get too far. She is followed by Tona and Glindinal, the latter looking rather annoyed.

  “I thought you said your curse prevented you from doing magic.” Rin says.

  “It was what I was told…you saw my display. I made the dirt a bit wet. That was all the magic in my body amounted to.”

  “That is true, it was rather pitiful.” Tona chimes in, which makes Rin nod.

  “Are you two as dense as that piece of stone? The princess there, as her first piece of water magic, shot a glob outside her mana aura a few feet away. That it actually hit at all without instantly dissipating is all the more frustrating. She is bleeding level one you idiots.” Glindinal says in a rather annoyed huff.

  Before she can say more she rears back. I tilt my head when a hand lands on my shoulder. I look up to see Arccor. I sigh and am led away.

  -----

  Dinner had a guest today. Lincor sat opposite me. Mother was giving off vibes of annoyance.

  “Mother, I am just saying you should hand her over to me, I will coax the magic out of her.”

  She looks at him annoyed. She turns to me, “Sarcea, you don't have [Mental Magic]. The necklace you wear is an advanced trinket that is doing all the work for you.”

  Oh…guess that makes sense. Lincor gets up and walks around to my side of the table. His hand snaps out grasping the aforementioned necklace, but even faster does a hand catch his before he can tear it away.

  They are staring at each other intensely. Finally, mother speaks, “Do not rob my daughter of telepathy, Lincor.”

  “No, that would be for you to do.” He says as I hear a bone crunch. He winces but lets go of the trinket.

  -----

  …

  27-10-1706

  …

  I can do magic. But not much. I don't remember anything after Arccor walked me back to my room. But who cares, magic. It's so cool. Maybe I should practice some later while everyone is asleep. My necklace is missing though. It was my fifth soul day present, to commemorate hearing the system voice. Or so I was told. I can't remember any of my soul days. I want to ask mother but etiquette says to be silent. I don't want to get yelled at.

  …

  -----

  Mother came to my room this morning.

  “Come sunshine, you have an important day.”

  It's always a different nickname, like she couldn't be bothered to remember what she calls me. I follow her down the corridor. I'm led into a room with her various scribes. There is a table in the center. I look to mother

  “Given a rather aggressive troublemaker, I've decided to graft some of your trinkets into you. I do apologize for collecting your necklace last night. Do get undressed, child.”

  I looked nervously at the gathered scribes but a look from mother made me do as I was told. She lifts me onto the table when I am done. I lay down.

  “Sarcea, don't move or scream during this procedure.”

  My body becomes frozen, I can't move. A scribe comes forward. They pry my left eyelid up. I am staring forward but I watch the tiny knife approach. Everything grows dark in my left eye. I can only scream internally. I can't show my pain physically but my mind is screaming out. They place something on my eye. A bit of potion. I still can't see out of it. They go for my right eye. Even more pain. I just want to whimper. I can't do anything but feel pain, it burns as they peel something off my eye. The right eye feels something placed onto it. I want to scream. More potion.

  “Sarcea, cycle mana through your eyes.”

  I do so, and I can see mother…and myself. My eyes are bright silver…her bright silver. What's going on? She shifts away. I am…no she is looking at the scribes and nods.

  I grew worried. The scribes come forward. He looks at the empress with uncertainty. A bit more telepathy face and he turns my head and begins to cut behind my left ear. I feel it all but can't move. Can't scream. There is a plink sound. They've removed a part of my skull. I see through mother's vision a rather thick looking nail. Its top is flat with inscribed runes. The nail is slowly pushed into my brain in an agonizing slow manner.

  “Sarcea, cycle mana into your implant.” She intones.

  “Can you hear me, child?” I hear her voice in my head. Telepathy?

  I look at her as she looks at me.

  “Direct a thought to me, now.”

  Yes … mother?

  She smiles. She looks at a scribe. They then turn to look at me. After a bit, he shakes his head. Mother looks at me again. I direct a thought to her.

  It hurts, mother.

  “Sarcea, do not direct any thoughts to me or the scribes unless we first talk to you for now. Sarcea, you are to answer all my commands with thought now. Sarcea, did you hear Tinjor's telepathy just now?”

  No. I think it at her.

  She then looks at the scribe and he once again directs a thought towards me. A moment later.

  “Can you hear my thoughts, Sarcea? Respond.”

  I do, Tinjor. Another pause then he nods at mother.

  “Good, proceed.” She spoke that out loud.

  He then picks up the piece of skull he removed and puts it back in place. He dabs a potion on the spot and the pain recedes. Tinjor turns my head. Another painful hole is made behind my right ear. The scribe looks at mother again, perhaps willing her to reconsider. He simply earns a stern look. Another even longer nail is pushed in. I want to feel it going in but the only thing I can do is hear the gelatinous flesh part for the nail. A squelching sound that makes me want to grind my teeth. But I can't move.

  “Sarcea, cycle mana into the implant. Sarcea, you are allowed to laugh again, acknowledge.” Cea mentally commands.

  It is as you say.

  “Sarcea, think of a recent funny memory you felt you should have laughed at. Do try to laugh now.” Cea commands again.

  I remember the face of the matron after Tona drank the water from the tea cup. I smile but I don't laugh. Mother nods at that.

  “Sarcea, resume not moving nor making a sound. Sarcea, after tonight you may release your mana aura as you see fit.”

  They place the piece of skull back and heal the wound. Next they bury a trinket into my chest. I watch through pain as they cut me open, gouge a piece of bone out, then set the metal into its place. I want to cry, to tremble, to do anything but I am motionless and in pain.

  “Sarcea, cycle mana into this implant. Sarcea, you can release your [False Soul] now, acknowledge when you have.” Another list of Cea commands.

  It is as you say.

  She nods. They close up my chest with more potion.

  Next they cut into my forehead. Please stop. They have another nail. It is longer than any of the others. I swear it's almost as long as my head is front to back. The scribe takes the nail and pushes it into my forehead in a downward angle. Slowly, my brain parts for it. The sickening squelch is heard. Please stop…more and more the nail pushes in. I see flashes of light flit into my sight. My mother grasps her own head. It's agonizingly slow but finally the short sword of a nail is pushed to its head into my head. The scribe bows and then leaves. The rest of the scribes do as well. The wound is still open.

  She places a finger onto the head of the nail.

  “Every day I wake up, I will cycle mana into this nail. All my other implants, I will continue to cycle mana.” She takes a breath, “I will not draw mana from my soul core, I will only sense through this body, I am an Elf, and I will always obey and love Cea, my mother. This is my truth, I do not need to remember these words for them to be true.”

  There is a burning smell coming from her hand.

  “Sarcea, do not resist this compel from this implant ever. Now, cycle mana into this implant.”

  I do and I feel the compel burrow itself into my mind.