Excerpt from "Idioms of the Former Imperial Capital Region"

  "There is no accounting for red lightning".

  Type: Proverb.

  Meaning: "Even the most meticulously laid plans can be shattered by some unexpected outside force."

  Origin: Named after an adventuring party founded at the start of the Black Order War, known for arriving unexpectedly after traversing great distances without the aid of teleportation magic. Founding members were a dangerous pair: a princess, and her knight.

  The 12th Seat

  It had taken me a very long time to reach the place of our meeting. The journey from my hidden base, well, not so hidden anymore, was fraught with peril. I was ragged, tired, I hadn't eaten much but hardtack and I hadn't had more than a few hours of sleep. We were to meet in this dark council chamber with a round table of blood red stone lit by a dim eldritch light. Three seats were still vacant. For a long time I sat there, with nine others, until at last the first seat broke the eerie silence.

  "The mastermind is dead," he began. "The reason why we begin the meeting with only ten of the thirteen seats present is because Wain, Wylt, and Fayd have all perished."

  It had been Fayd who'd called us to a convocation. The purpose for its calling was vague at best - they always were for reasons of secrecy with only the first seat being given details. I'd received the call to convocation some time ago and was in the process of preparing for my journey when all of a sudden…

  The second seat said, "What do you mean dead? Preposterous!" Everyone else was in an uproar muttering among themselves.

  The first seat tapped his fist-sized black marble orb on the table and everyone fell silent.

  "My messenger tasked with sending data to the Mastermind never returned and so I sent a scouting party. They reported that Wain and his entire platoon of Black Guard were dead. Some had been felled with arrows, others with slashing weapons of some form. Some of them had strange circular wounds behind large, gaping holes in their breastplates. What's more is that we found a mass of burnt matter, charred remains that could only have belonged to the mastermind."

  Silence fell again and the nine of us who weren't the first seat began looking towards each other - not that we could see anything given that our faces were shrouded in the darkness of our hoods.

  "What of Fayd and Wylt?" said the fourth seat

  "How is it that they both died?" said the sixth, to which the seventh added "What of our plans for Anaura and Cara?"

  The first seat spoke again, "The prognosticated war between the elves and humans has been averted - but fear not, this is only a setback."

  Speaking of setbacks, ugh, I realized I needed to report something myself. While I was in the middle of provisioning my base came under attack. Adventurers, my forward scouts had warned, led by none other than Prince Valyrian, had engaged Snacqua in his lair. He picked an interesting time to go dragon hunting, I thought, but it didn't matter for there was no conceivable way for him to know that there was a hidden basement under the ruins where our dragon was roosting. I was wrong. I could hear them screaming, and I could hear the sounds of steel against steel. The incantations in the elvish language. I couldn't stand up to Valyrian. I thought of escaping by teleportation circle but it was no use - they'd already broken in far enough to where I'd have to try running past whirling death incarnate. Instead I concealed myself at the bottom of the privy - I was covered in the worst sort of much imaginable for at least a day; why oh why didn't I learn a spell to hedge out foul gases? When finally all had quieted down, I escaped from the latrine and used magic to cleanse myself.

  What I found next nearly broke me, no, I think it did break me. The adventurers had taken everything. Not just the contents of the vault, not just the weapons and armor on my men, not merely magic items and important documents. No. They literally took everything. They took all of the food in the larder, every drop of alcohol and every barrel of provisions down to the smallest wheel of cheese. All of our beasts of burden and spare horses, gone! They also took all of the damned furniture - cabinets, dressers, foot lockers, my own luxurious bed, they even stripped the traps of their magical implements! The alchemist's lab was also stripped bare down to the last drop of salamander tail and the kitchen had been disabused of its cookware. The robe I wear presently? It's the only piece of clothing that I own now - everything else is in the grubby hands of some damned adventuring party led by Prince Valyrian himself. The despair icing on this frustration cake was that he'd killed Snacqua and taken his entire hoard as well as his entire corpse!

  The fourth seat said, "I've some ill tidings as well, in my area of operation, I have heard the name of our order spoken aloud and in the open. Warnings to be aware and alert, but worse, they were also advised not fall into fear and despair."

  The seventh seat said, "One of my subordinates was reconnoitering in Hylaria to gauge their military strength," his voice was cold and calculating, "He heard similar things and investigated further. Word had come directly to the king of Hylaria from the elven king's representative. Moreover that representative was none other than the fourth princess of Anaura herself."

  The fourth seat said, "The king of Carrowen had also received a personal visitation from an elf woman, actually, a few days before the proclamation and though my spies didn't identify her by name, their description of her attire, hair style, and eye color matched with what we know of Princess Illiana. That had been upon the twelfth day of the eleventh month."

  The seventh seat snapped, "Impossible! That is the same date the princess was spotted in Hylaria! She had made it a point of announcing herself very publicly."

  The fourth seat seemed surprised, aye, he must have assumed that the sighting he knew of took place weeks before the one he knew of. He was right. The fourth had just enacted plans away south and was now seeking data for a new plan in Carrowen, as I had recalled, and the seventh was working with one of the more agreeable tribes of Hyperion with designs upon invading Hylaria from the north. Blast! I had been working on a plan regarding Kurvania; in fact I'd recently submitted my collected data for his perusal and had been waiting for Wain to bring me the results when the call to convocation came. Damn it all! Surely the fourth princess hadn't teleported, nay, she didn't have the power; it was well known even as far as Kurvania that she was a healer. There had been much excitement in that part of the world when the new princess' birth was announced - disgusting, imagine being happy about the creation of life. Yet somehow…

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  The gavel orb clanged again, "With the mastermind dead, it is likely that we shall never again concoct such elaborate schemes as we had relied on since our first great success in the Gaian Empire, but we will find a way. The resurrection of our god is inevitable.”

  All muttered agreement, and the first seat continued. ”Now. We return to the matter of Cara and Anaura. The Mastermind’s plan was foiled utterly, and such an insult requires an answer. Seventh seat, your plan was contingent upon the war between the elves and the humans leaving Hylaria distracted was it not?”

  “That is so,” said the seventh seat, “My pets are bloodthirsty but they are no fools; they may triumph over a lesser kingdom but would need reinforcements to contend with the knights of Hylaria. The paltry forces at my own command could do little, I think.”

  Each seat spoke in turn, every last one of them explained why sending reinforcements would be logistically impossible. It all made sense, truthfully - every last one of them operated in distant parts of the continent and would need to march through potentially hostile territory for many weeks before they even got there. It also wasn’t as though we had enough inducted members to fill an army - the fourth had a pawn who commanded a small legion, but ultimately he had his own goals that simply happened to align with our own.

  The first seat nodded and addressed the seventh seat. “So be it. If none of us can proffer military aid, there is but one course of action we can take- apotheosis. With a denizen of hell at their back, surely your horde will be triumphant. You will find a worthy candidate and bring him or her before me - someone full of despair with naught else to lose.”

  The seventh grinned wickedly, “I have a few potential wretches in mind from among my slaves-”

  "Wait," I said, breaking protocol. I sighed. "I volunteer myself for apotheosis. I've no more men to lead, my guard dragon is dead, and my schemes are in shambles. Valyrian as well as some other formidable adventurers destroyed my entire base of operations. As I am right now, I’m useless to the cause - so…" I said through grit teeth, “Give me the power to pay blood for blood.”

  After a long silence, the first seat said, "So be it, Erodh, twelfth seat. May you cause untold horrors, leaving naught but blood and ash in your wake - and may you have vengeance against that wretched prince. Our god will be reborn. We are the bringers of shadow, the triumphant darkness! All hail the devil supreme, praise his name!"

  We all chanted in unison.

  "Ia, Asmodeus."

  An Old Fisherman

  Ah what a splendid day to be out fishing. Crystal blue waters, a clear sky, white sandy beaches in the distance, the sound of the wind blowing. There I was, sitting in a little boat, a fine craft of seaborn-make, weathered though she was, I trusted my tiny ship. I hadn't caught a single fish yet, alas. But at least I had the pleasure of some very pleasant company this day, yes, a dear old friend I suppose you could call her. Varielle, the queen of Tor Anaura, had deigned to stop and visit a humble old fisherman on her way to the local shrine. Her majesty didn't always visit me on her pilgrimages, every once in a while was good enough for my old heart. It had been, hmm, three hundred years this time I think, and she'd had two more darling children since the last time I'd seen her. Oh of course I'd heard of the boy in stories, yes, even as far out as these lands his legend had spread, but the girl was a complete unknown.

  The queen was sitting on the opposite end of the boat, an enchanted parasol whimsically floated between her and the sunlight, as she daintily sipped upon tea. Naturally, she didn't care to partake of the beer that I had brought along with me - what? It's traditional to bring a little nip along when fishing, don't you know. Oh? She was putting two fingers to her left ear! Ahh, a transmission spell from a distant land. She spoke her response aloud, as one must:

  "Wonderful news. Thank you for telling me. Send your sister my congratulations and my love. I miss you as well, my darling, and the others."

  "Tidings from home?"

  She nodded, "My youngest has fallen in love, and he has reciprocated."

  "Little Illiana? Oh-ho-ho, so she beat her older sisters to the punch did she? Who is the lucky elven princeling?"

  The queen smiled, "not a prince, nor an elf of any sort. He is a human adventurer who saved her life, a heroic man from another world, as Sylfaena says."

  Another world, how interesting! Now, what did that remind me of again? Ah how silly of me, I've been fishing for so long that I rarely ever reminisce about the past, oh well. You know how it is with old elves, our minds can go one of two ways, you see. Some become aloof, detached, and contemplative living out our lives in seclusion while writing bad poetry. Others, well, we take a different approach, becoming more and more fascinated with what the world has to offer and we start taking up worldly hobbies. In my case I bought a little house on the coast along with this teeny-tiny boat, and became a fisherman. I always loved fishing, and now I was doing it all the time. Well speaking of quiet introspection, there does not exist any other sport in this world that encourages meditative thought and contemplation - ah yes that long drawn out doldrum of thought, for hours at a time. Floating peacefully, thinking about things, until excitement strikes, a fish bites your hook and you feel exhilaration as you lure it in, and now you suddenly have dinner!

  The fingers to the ears again. Oh, her majesty' cheeks were red, "Is he aware? Nay, you need not answer. I know well the thickness of my boy's head. Do not worry, I am certain he will figure it out on his own."

  She put a hand to her cheek and said, "it would seem that I'm a grandmother thanks to dear Valyrian. Such is life, it flows abundant. It was bound to happen eventually."

  I laughed, slapping my knee, "Your majesty, I guarantee you that there isn't just one miniature Valyrian running around out there, or perhaps a Valyrianna or two!"

  The queen said, "Please, there is no need to use formal titles between us."

  "Oh tosh, I may no longer reside in Anaura but you are still quite literally my queen - I am under your command."

  She laughed, eyes closed with one hand over her mouth, "Very well. I do enjoy the conversations we have, infrequent though they be. Thank you for your wisdom, o sage."

  "Sage nothin' I'm just a humble fisherman. Though, still, I should very much like to meet them - Valyrian and Illiana, but especially this man from another world, yes, I find him very intriguing indeed."

  The queen nodded, "As do I. Yes, I very much would like to meet the man who has captured the heart of my daughter." She drained her cup. "I'll be sure to find some way of arranging a meeting between you as well. But before I can, I must needs finish my pilgrimage. The sooner I do, the sooner I can see my children."

  "Ah, I'd much appreciate the chance. Thank you, my dear queen. Safe journey!"

  She smiled, "Pray, enjoy your retirement, honored elder."

  Without another word, Varielle turned herself into a wispy mass of wind and sped off faster than any horse could hope to run. I returned to my fishing and smiled. Still, what was it about another world again? Oh? Oh! OH! I got a bite! Elianora be praised! This eve, I would dine on halibut.