Illiana

  I sighed. Sir Victor was fighting my big brother. Oh, not like that; neither of them was angry, in fact, they were laughing. Having way too much fun sparring, especially with how many solid hits they were landing on each other. I don't understand boys. Hanzorian had called another meeting today, and big brother got bored waiting for it to begin and asked Sir Victor if he wanted to get some training in.

  It started with a sword lesson, then I watched Sir Victor demonstrate how he used his Bowie knife; I really liked that part actually. Huh? But why did he feel the need to say "dance, magic, dance" when they got started? But then they started talking about wrestling, martial arts, boxing, and then it really started to get bad.

  Big brother learned some unarmed combat techniques when he was adventuring across the Dragon Sea, and he wanted to test it against Sir Victor's "Jeet Kune Do".

  I was worried that big brother was going to severely hurt Sir Victor since he is so much stronger, and I told him as much, but he just looked at me with a raised eyebrow and said "what 'cha worried about, ain't you a healer?"

  Honestly, I love Valyrian, very much so, but he can really be a pill. Always getting into fights (and winning) and engaging in - um - relations - with strange women. My cheeks flushed, I tried not to think of that sort of thing; the idea of someone doing that to me was...I mean I knew eventually I'd want to be a wife to someone, and become a mother, but I'm still a maiden and that kind of thing is embarrassing to hear, feel, or think about.

  Gah! Sir Victor went down again; I healed him and he thanked me with that carefree smile stretched across his face. Such a good-natured smile. The night before, I had found him and big brother stumbling around drunk after I had been worried about them for hours.

  Hanzorian said nothing when he returned, with High Mage Nenewyn dragging a cloaked person with her chains of force. I felt a chill run down my spine; he wore the same outfit as the men who tried to kill me. I pressed the spymaster and he said "mission, accomplished" and nothing more; okay, ser taciturn.

  But for good measure, I kicked the bound man square in the groin and cried, "that was for Elice!" Neither Hanzorian nor Nenewyn raised an objection.

  But of course once I'd found those two I kicked Valyrian over the threshold of his bedroom where he doubtless passed out on the floor, and helped Sir Victor get back to the Flagon. Neither of them seemed hung over - all right, very well, I will admit that their resilience was an impressive thing.

  Big brother has always been like that, too. The more I thought about it, watching them playfight, the more I began to think, "it's really nice that they get along so well."

  I'm glad. I was actually worried that big brother would object to me spending so much time with a man like this. N-not that we had anything shameful or scandalous going on between us.

  Aye, he is my friend - he saved my life, and I want to be there for him and help him, that is all. He is like a fish out of water and well I can create water, if you follow. I mean 'tis true that my cheeks get hot when he speaks confidently but surely that happens to everyone he speaks to.

  What? He has a nice voice! Anyroad what's important is that he's made at least one more friend in this world, after coming here not knowing anyone.

  "Yo, Vic," said big brother, "I was thinking,"

  Sir Victor "Got yourself a new hobby?"

  "Very funny. You should join the Adventurer's Guild. I think you'd make an excellent adventurer, even putting aside the weird weapons and your Ca-dil-lac."

  "Ya think so, huh?" Oh look at him, sheepishly scratching the back of his head, "all right, I think I will."

  Big brother laughed heartily, "that's the spirit! Cara's capital city is the closest place with a main guild branch so be sure to stop by if you go. Sadly, you and I can't formally form a party together yet because I'm pretty high up - but once you reach gold rank, let me know!"

  Victor smirked, "count on it! Take it from an Eagle Scout, I know all about ranking up."

  Did Sir Victor want to be in an adventuring party with me? After all, I myself am only wood rank - a total beginner! Yes, if he joined up we would be the same rank, and with what we can do we'd have a solid foundation for a balanced group.

  Healers and knightly types do go hand in - er - they complement each other's skillsets well. Aye, that is the proper way to phrase it.

  Just then, Jiofriel bade us come to the audience chamber - the time had come to hear Hanzorian's report. Shortly, we had all gathered together. My father was sitting on his throne with his elite guard beside him, Miss Nenewyn was in her usual position, too. Chamberlain Naomewsa, a middle-aged and handsome cat-eared beastfolk man, was standing opposite Nenewyn.

  Elder brother, that is, Illorien, was also in attendance - he wore a crushed velvet longcoat and doublet, and with his silver hair tied back the way it was he looked rather dignified. I am afraid I wasn't nearly as close with him as I should like; he always seemed distant, as though he were dreaming.

  As we elves age, I suppose we become more detached and serene; but I wonder if that was just a part of us innately or if it was cultural in nature. Well we do start to radiate an aura that puts shorter-lived races in a state of awe once we've reached our tenth century more or less. But the way father acts, it leads me to believe that the second explanation is likely - yes, especially after Victor mused about it during one of our conversations.

  Gah! There it is again! Sorry! I'll get back on track. Elder Brother had a forlorn and pensive expression, I wondered what he was thinking about? There was the high inquisitor - pretty in her own striking and fearsome way, and standing near her was…huh? Who is that? There was an elf I'd never seen before, with long black hair, eyes the color of polished topaz, and an excessively pallid complexion. Huh? Who is this man?

  Father tapped his cane on the ground and said, "your attention, please. The first matter I would like to discuss is the fate of Mister Potter,"

  The unfamiliar face uttered, "Popper, sire."

  Father nodded, "ah, yes, Popper, indeed. For his cooperation, and the extenuating circumstances of duress brought about by his family being held hostage - I have granted him full immunity. He will not face any charges. However: I have given his wife, Adélie Popper a royal command: give thy husband a long, hard scolding, and never let him live it down."

  Victor shook his head and muttered, "a fate worse than death." Wait, why were all of the married gentlemen in the room nodding? Ah, the new face had some common sense - he was pinching the skin between his eyes and groaning.

  "Now then," father continued, "the second of three matters I wished to touch upon at this meeting. As you may know, our kingdom was recently the victim of a grand conspiracy. Both the first prince and the fourth princess faced mortal peril as they were both the targets of an assassination attempt," oh, he always referred to us formally by our titles like this in meetings, in case you were wondering, "but not only did the plot fail, we managed to seize one of the conspirators. Under questioning from the spymaster and the high inquisitor, we uncovered the truth," he took a deep breath, and said in a commanding tone, "report."

  The hitherto unknown elf pulled a stack of papers from inside his doublet, stepped forward and began to speak. Huh? Sir Victor was gaping at him too, staring, listening. Well I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was confused.

  "Hanzo?" he muttered.

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Huh? That was his nickname for Hanzorian. Surely not? Then again who better to read a report than its writer - all doubt was shattered when first he started speaking.

  "Your majesty, ladies and gentlemen of the court, honored guests-"

  "Wha-", I ejaculated, "Ser taciturn?". The man only coughed and began to read. I giggled a little, for Sir Victor had whispered, "I didn't know he even had a face," to me.

  "I can say with utmost certainty that the following information, extracted from our prisoner, is true. These masked assailants are members of a dangerous and secretive cabal - a fanatical cult dedicated to causing as much chaos, destruction, bloodshed, and despair as possible.

  As I and others had deduced, the reason why they had attempted to slay the first prince in such a public place was to induce his royal majesty to dispatch the second prince along a route of their choosing.

  Their end goal is nothing less than the total devastation of the continent; to what end apart from their own sadistic pleasure, he was unaware. Sadistic pleasure was certainly his own personal motivation; some of the things that he said during the interrogation beggared belief for how vile they were.

  This cult appears to seek out disturbed individuals and then recruit them into their ranks. The first stage of this plan involved starting a war between our kingdom and the human nation of Cara; naturally, this would drag the principality of Balero, which has a defensive alliance treaty with Cara, into the war as well.

  I have learned that this plot was concocted by someone the prisoner called The Mastermind, but unfortunately the identity of that individual is kept on a need-to-know basis…and he did not need to know. I had expected this, of course, every plan has its architect, but merely knowing that there is a mastermind does not in and of itself give us an advantage, and having not learned a thing about him is presently inconsequential. However."

  He paused and furrowed his brow gravely, "In the course of learning about the mastermind, I have uncovered the details of the second stage of the plan. They intend to take the life of Cara's monarch: Queen Arabelle III.

  They plan to disguise themselves as members of our very own illustrious army and waylay her entourage on the road while she is on her return trip from visiting her late husband's family in a neighboring nation. Although her retinue is formidable, it is relatively small and ill-suited to repelling an ambush - which is why my counterpart in Cara, that is, her majesty's own chief of intelligence, always requires that the queen take a random route each time she goes abroad.

  This route is privileged information known only to members of her court. In order to execute a brazen attack like this one must needs have a man on the inside willing to betray queen and country to provide such information," he clenched his teeth, visibly disgusted, "and that is precisely the sort of asset that they have at their disposal: someone within the queen's inner circle is a fully inducted member of their order."

  There were gasps and mutterings, then Hanzorian continued, "the queen is expected to begin her journey in a few days' time. There are well over a dozen routes the queen could take, but fortunately, the lady inquisitor was able to find out a crucial detail about the route which has allowed me to pinpoint the intended ambush site."

  He held up a map and a document, "I have that information here, we need not discuss it at length. I intend to hand over this information to whom it may concern. That is all."

  "Thank you, Hanzorian," said father, who paused, steepling his fingers. "As you can see, these are ill tidings that we can not afford to ignore. Indeed. I know what must needs be done. I call forth Mister Victor Alexander Kirkland, of Texas."

  Huh? What was going on? Sir Victor left my side and stood before my father.

  "The kingdom of Cara is in peril. Were I to send troops into her borders, I would be in violation of a longstanding treaty; as king, my hands are tied. However, what I can do is task adventurers with such quests that involve matters of national security; after all, until things in Cara are resolved, we can hardly call this case closed. The guild has yet to set up a chapter house here, but we are most fortunate to have someone here whom I believe is equal to the task that I have in mind."

  Father stood up, and swept his hand forward in Sir Victor's direction, causing his cape to swirl behind him. "Victor Alexander Kirkland. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to prevent the assassination of the Queen of Cara by any means at your disposal."

  Hanzorian put in, "your majesty, if I may. I recommend that we avoid potentially alerting the inside man. Even sending a message to the chief of intelligence may prove fatal, for he himself may be the traitor," he grimaced, now that looks more like how I imagined Ser Taciturn looking, "as a matter of fact and record, your majesty, he is chiefest among my suspects."

  Father nodded, "I concur. Let the parameters of the quest reflect that - thus shall it be. So," he smiled wryly, "how about it, young man? I can see it in your eyes - the thrill of going to new places, you feel it in your very soul. Your pulse quickens at the mere mention of distant lands and great peril. Is that not the case, adventurer?"

  Sir Victor smirked with confidence and said, "I'd be lying if I said otherwise, your majesty."

  "Then please state your answer"

  Sir Victor stood up, put his feet square together, saluted and said, coldly, "mission, accepted." Oh now he's snickering a little, ugh, that's one of his "references" isn't it? He has a blatant tell when he does that.

  But this meant that Sir Victor would be leaving soon didn't it? I had hoped that we could tour the city a bit more, I wanted to know more about him, I wanted to try that Texas cookin' as he called it. My heart skipped a beat.

  No, it was more than that - this evil organization had tried to have me killed.

  My best friend Elice was dead because of them.

  I wanted answers.

  I wanted to seek justice. I couldn't just rest on my yannies while Sir Victor was doing his best - I wanted to do my part too.

  Father looked at me and said, "as for you, fourth princess Illiana, your duty-"

  "I'm going too," I shouted, and in a manner most unbecoming a princess, I started ranting.

  "Someone needs to show him to the adventurer's guild, he knows very little about this world and needs someone who knows things, oh and he's still very bad at speaking common and I promised to tutor him and interpret for him when he talks, and without my wind magic his Cadillac will run outta fuel faster, and he has no concept of how money works and might get swindled, his party will need a healer and I'm quite good at healing magic if I say so myself, and um, and um…"

  After a moment of hesitation I snapped my fingers, dismissed comprehension, and burst out "and if you still object to me going, you'll leave me no choice but to make this man my fiancee! Yeah! Then we'd elope and go on the mission as husband and wife and he'll do all kinds of scandalous things with me!"

  The entire room stared in shock, Sir Victor was visibly confused…and unaware of what I just said, I prayed. It was a bluff, of course; I'd only known Sir Victor for less than a week, we were friends and naught else. Of course big brother was leaning against a nearby pillar whilst laughing louder than he ever had before, to the point that he couldn't breathe. Oh, the high inquisitor was blushing? I'd never known her to be capable of such emotion. That didn't matter - I'd said what I said.

  "Are you quite finished, daughter of mine?"

  I nodded, out of breath.

  Father nodded, "as I was about to say before being quite rudely interrupted - your task is to accompany Mister Kirkland as his guide, operating in your capacity as an adventuress and as a representative of the elves who were wronged by this heinous crime. Yes, such a grave offense committed against the royal family must needs be answered.

  Honestly, dear Illiana, how in the world did the idea that you needed to go to such extremes as a means of convincing me get into your head? As fourth princess you are afforded a great deal more freedom than your older sisters, you know that. Besides, I wouldn't object to you marrying a human even one of common birth - what was that expression, pray do not attempt to sow fear in mine heart with promises of an enjoyable experience? There is no need to resort to such hyperbolic displays."

  I reddened further and waved both my hands in front of my chest, "'tis not as though I have those kinds of feelings for him or any-" I sighed, "apologies, your majesty - you have the right of it. I panicked and went too far. But um, please, everyone, pray don't tell him what I said." I re-applied comprehension to Sir Victor and shrank away, head lowered.

  Father said, "and so it is - two adventurers have thus been appointed this most important of quests. Princess Illiana and Mister Victor Alexander Kirkland - you are to depart tomorrow morning at the latest. Meeting adjourned."

  Everyone started to disperse. I felt like I was about to die of embarrassment.

  "Reckon we should get ready then," Sir Victor said as we made our way to the palace exit.

  I nodded, "aye. If you are willing, I'd like to take you to sell some of those spices ere we depart."

  "Why here?"

  I smiled, being able to educate him improved my mood, "I'm glad you asked! Come, let us hie ourselves to the market and I shall explain when we arrive."

  He must never know.