The forums exploded.

  A few memes were already coming out, particularly of SisterQuery raising her staff and yelling EAT ME, but some were of her bloodied and bruised with the tagline "better than walking."

  Archival videos from a year ago of Grimmblade fighting the world dragon, before it was corrupted into The Ender, were being compared side by side. Without enchantments and alone, Grimmblade at lv99, fully equipped, died on the second strike; the effect time of healing items was just a fraction too slow. Then came lv1 SisterQuery. People pointed out she could have recast Shield and Heal, that she never used her Holy Bolt spell, and that the fight could actually have lasted much longer if she had chosen to.

  People discussed Noobkitty's armor for the first time not as some joke, or as the cozy nighttime skill grind, but as actually broken. Players were calling for it to be nerfed, something Noobkitty hoped the world AI wouldn’t listen to, or her survival plans would be out the window if it did.

  Then there was a few, just a small group, who noticed what Noobkitty had originally hoped even the world AI hadn’t noticed:

  there was no stacking penalty, or restriction, to food enchantments.

  That meant… for example, if someone created a jalape?o cookie that gave 5% Heat Resistance, and then ate twenty of them with her morning tea, said tea drinker could potentially stand in front of dragonfire and receive no damage. And the effect lasted for six hours. Or if inadvertently the world made

  Chai-Soggy Jalape?o Cookie – Lv. 38

  +5% skill growth for six hours

  And a particular cat woman had been eating a few dozen of them with her tea while skill grinding each night. Said hypothetical cat beastkin could double her experience gain each night.

  But now people were noticing. All the others were stat increases, typical, and stacking with equipment, but some boosts were different.

  Players were buying up and requesting more bags of wasabi kale chips and jalape?o cookies.

  In the forest nearby, a few groups were literally playing with fire: playing tag with fireball, or having one person stand still while a party of mages cast their strongest fire spells.

  Potions had cooldowns. But cookies, or, say… mana bars? 5% mana recovery every minute, and if you ate… twenty of them? 100% mana or health regeneration per minute.

  Noobkitty dreaded it. Her secret strategy had been figured out.

  It was totally broken, and the world should nerf it.

  "You know, it’d be really cool if you didn’t notice, or patch things, for two weeks," she said to the ceiling.

  The world didn’t respond.

  Noobkitty thought for a moment, then asked:

  "While I have your attention, do we even have to do this whole killing the big bad thing?" she said to the ceiling.

  "Like, I don’t actually hate it. What’s the point of hating a hurricane? It’s a creature, doing what it was made it to do. Couldn’t you just put it to sleep? I got you viewers, I got you new log-ins. Couldn’t we just say the world is saved and not do this?"

  The world said nothing. She stood there in silence for a moment, then said:

  "Please."

  ---

  The world around her glitched. She was in a scorched forest, ashes flying up, and her message notifications were going off.

  This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.

  She looked quickly:

  CheshyBot: Your feed has been turned off. Where are you? Are you okay?

  Noobkitty: I’m safe.

  Fizzypop: What happened to you?

  .ex: Where are you? You’re not in the store.

  Noobkitty: I’m safe, give me a few minutes, I’ll explain later.

  Noobkitty looked around and then looked up. A light in the air came down to stare at her awkwardly, as only something without eyes could.

  "I can’t stop it. It’s an automated self-destruction program laughed by the devs before they left. Once initiated, it can only be stopped by players. The challenge is meant to be impossible."

  "So you could make it easier for your players to beat it," Noobkitty asked, crossing her arms.

  The light stayed silent.

  "I’d rather not have to kill it. Is there another way?" she asked.

  "Not that I know of. It’s programmed not to stop. It has no intelligence or autonomy. It is just meant to be my destruction, a timer to tell players that it will all be over."

  "Well, at least you didn’t make it a self-aware program. It’s like fighting a force of nature, not like being mad at a bear eating your picnic," she said. She considered, then looked up at the AI. "Do you want to die?"

  The light blinked and then said, "No."

  "Then will you please not patch the food stat buffs till after we save you and your world?"

  "I’m sorry."

  There was a silence it stretched and the world around her changed once more.

  ---

  The world again smelled of sugar and fresh-baked pastry. She was back in her kitchen.

  A message was sent to every player:

  Patch Update 2.54

  Food buff update: only five active food buffs will stack at a time. More effects will be lost until the timer of the previous buff has been exhausted.

  Noobkitty crashed her hand on the table. "Fluff...," she swore but at least the equipment enchantments didn’t get nerfed. For now, there was still hope.

  ---

  Away from Noobkitty and her disappointment over her food being nerfed, SisterQuery was experiencing the annoyance of minor stardom and meme culture. Fizzypop insisted she wear her enchanted gear while helping customers today. People were taking pictures with her, some pretending to bite her. One person actually did bite her and soon found out the enchantments on her equipment also improved her strength. They were slapped through a wall, much to .ex’s annoyance, since she had to find Noobkitty to cast the crafter skill Mend on the building.

  It was busy, and the night would be long for the women of the party because the store was running out of snacks after several days of strong sales.

  She was worried about Grimmblade. He hadn’t logged in for a full day now, and she had no way of contacting him. She became lost in her thoughts.

  "Celest," a voice said. Hearing her real name snapped her out of her mind, and she looked.

  It was her sister, a game version, with a more ideal body, but the face was the same.

  "Liora," Celest said, frozen in shock to see her.

  Liora rushed forward to hug her. "You... you survived. I’m so sorry. We... we shouldn’t have downloaded you. You..."

  Celest looked at her sister. Her eyes filled with tears, and all the anger she had held, the rage she carried about being downloaded against her will, melted when she saw those eyes.

  "I... I’m mad about it, but... I forgive you," SisterQuery said, holding her sister close.

  "We just couldn’t let you go. We... we made so many copies, and..."

  SisterQuery looked at her sister, a mix of new rage and realization dawning on her.

  "How many?" she asked.

  "Twenty. We... we stopped watching after six of you. It was hard to see each time. You... you’d shatter, you broke, you... watching you die in digital form over and over again... But you..."

  She looked at Celest with hope in her eyes. "You survived. You’re... you’re still with us, despite everything."

  SisterQuery nodded. "Yes. I was lucky. I got help. Honestly, if I was left completely alone, I wouldn’t have survived."

  Liora nodded. "Thank God."

  Celest agreed. "You shouldn’t have downloaded me, but yes, thank God. His grace and kindness have allowed me to live, at least for now, in this man-made limbo."

  "For now?" Liora asked.

  "This world... if my party can’t stop The Ender, it will end. This world, me, and most of my new friends."

  "God, no. You can’t be given back to us only to lose you again."

  Celest smiled. "There’s hope. God willing, I’ll be here for a long time. And maybe you and Dad and Mom can meet my new boyfriend... when he gets back."

  Liora nodded. "God willing. And yeah, I’ve seen replays of you and your party. That Grimmblade guy, he is handsome, and he seems nice."

  "Now trade me your equipment for some weird vegan junk food. Noobkitty will use it to make my armor even stronger. Then when we save this world, you and Mom can meet Grimmblade."

  Liora smiled and traded for some berry tarts and GYOAT horns.

  "Is there anything we can do for you? We’re so sorry. We just weren’t willing to let you go. We all love you, Celest," Liora said, looking into her sister’s eyes.

  "I love all of you too. I... I was mad, but I forgive you all. For now, just watch. Then, when I survive this, we’ll all meet up, you, me, Mom, Dad, the aunts, uncles, everyone. You know where I am, and how to find me. For now though, I have work to do."

  Liora hugged her sister one more time, deep, warm, holding back a few tears. "I’ll see you again soon, sis. I know this isn’t ideal, but seeing you walk, smile, to be able to hug you... Mom and Dad need to see you. Downloaded or not, we love you. Thank you for surviving."

  Liora logged off, and SisterQuery smiled. A weight had been lifted from her. She did forgive her family. She did love them. And she had so much to live for.

  God was good.