“I told you, I don't know what tofu is,” said Coro?en to the frustrated Cat Beastkin.

  “You have access to the Net. Just look it up! I swear, since soybeans exist in this world, I should be allowed to make tofu!” insisted Noobkitty, tapping her foot.

  “Hold on…”

  She waited, tapping her fingers on the countertop.

  “You need eight hours of prep time,” Coro?en finally announced.

  “Can't you just shorten the time? You did it for acorn flour!” she pleaded.

  “No. To create a new item in the world’s asset library, I need you to do it the hard way once,” Coro?en countered. “Besides, your current skill tree is almost entirely sweets-based. Your skills are not rooted in health food creation.”

  “That’s because you nerfed my skills and segmented cooking into a bunch of highly specialized trees!” she complained.

  “Like I would let one player have max cooking enchantments. You have to think of the world more holistically, Kitty.”

  “Oh, come on, I need tofu to make tofurkey!” she begged.

  “What’s tofurkey? Wait…” There was a deliberate pause from the AI. “You need ten hours of prep time.”

  “Can't you just let it slide?” she asked, softening her voice. “It’s Thanksgiving.”

  “I don't hold a Thanksgiving event. It’s too location specific and culturally inconsistent with the fantasy setting.”

  “So you won’t help?”

  “America isn't the center of the world, Kitty. Starter is,” Coro?en stated plainly.

  “Ugh, fine. I'll figure something else out,” she said, frustrated but resigned.

  “When you decide to unlock tofu, let me know,” Coro?en offered. “I’ll give it a Strength enchantment or something.”

  There was nothing for it. She gave up on the idea for now and called a team meeting using the party chat.

  ---

  The party assembled in Noob Noms dining area, Grimblade, SisterQuery, Fizzypop, ExpertBunny, and Skidmark all assembled, GYOAT just sent a napping emoji.

  “Team, I have an important question. What’s everyone’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?” Noobkitty asked.

  “What's Thanksgiving?” asked SisterQuery.

  “It's a holiday about colonizers getting help from Indigenous people and then betraying them later,” said Fizzypop.

  “Wait, Noobkitty is American?” asked Grimblade.

  “Yes,” said Fizzypop. “I’ve met her sisters. Noobkitty is white, American, cis, and sapphic.”

  ExpertBunny poked her fiancée and absently fluffed her fur. “Her fur is fully gray, also, what’s an American?”

  “A large, very confusing land,” said Noobkitty. She found herself purring slightly as her fiancée continued to absentmindedly pet her.

  “What's sapphic?” asked SisterQuery. The group looked to her, and she blushed a little. “Is it something weird?”

  This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  “Not weird at all, but maybe we should hold off on a conversation like that while Skidmark is here,” suggested Grimblade, glancing at the younger player.

  Skidmark’s ears perked up at the mention of his name. He had been listing mashed potato toppings he wanted Noobkitty to make. “Oh, I’ve already had the sliders talk,” he said simply.

  “Sliders?” inquired SisterQuery, now even more confused.

  Skidmark grinned. “Did you not get the sliders talk?”

  SisterQuery shook her head. “Is it like the birds and the bees?” Noobkitty and Fizzypop nodded in understanding, while Grimblade and ExpertBunny looked almost as confused as SisterQuery.

  Skidmark then looked confused. “What do birds and bees have to do with anything?” He shook his head and rallied, eager to educate. “No, okay, my moms taught me about sliders when I had a crush on a girl last year. Preference in partner, sexuality, gender, and expression are all sliders, like the ones used in character customization.” He demonstrated with air quotes. “People make names for the different sections and combinations, but it's individual to each person. Noobkitty’s sliders for sexuality, gender, and expression are probably all near the feminine side. A sapphic is someone whose preference in partners leans toward people whose sliders are mostly feminine, but allows for nuance and middle sliders.”

  “It means her range is femboys to sword lesbians,” said Fizzypop, summarizing with punchy internet efficiency.

  Noobkitty’s ears twitched and her hair stood slightly on end in embarrassment. The fur scritches had made her forget the conversation was about her. “I mean... yeah, but you don’t have to say it that way.”

  ExpertBunny laughed warmly. “She did like my Knight with a sword outfit.”

  “Out of curiosity, did your moms help you figure out your sliders?” asked Grimblade, genuinely interested.

  “They said not to tie myself down with labels, but I’m most likely gyn, which evidently means I look for all varieties of feminine partners, despite it sounding like the word ‘guy.’ My pronouns are he/him/they because I don’t feel uncomfortable when I play female characters but strongly prefer male ones. Although using adult bodies in some games is a bit weird.”

  He said it like it was the most basic fact in the world.

  SisterQuery wondered about her own sliders and looked to Grimblade. “Are you gyn?”

  He shook his head and considered. “No, my sliders lean more traditionally straight. While I can appreciate the attractiveness of someone who identifies as male but presents as female, they’re not within my usual range of partners.”

  “Would you date a nonbinary person?” asked Fizzypop.

  Grimblade shrugged. “Depends on the person. I guess that’s why the sliders metaphor works.”

  Noobkitty, grateful that the conversation had finally moved away from her romantic preferences, interjected, “Can we please get back to my question about favorite side dishes?”

  ExpertBunny grinned. “Well, I got a lot of useful information.” She leaned into Noobkitty and playfully whispered in her ear, “You know, as the manager and admin, I have access to a few... sliders.”

  Noobkitty instantly became flustered. “Well... um... maybe pies? What’s everyone’s preferred pie? I rather enjoy a classic pumpkin, um...”

  Skidmark promptly slid over his list of mashed potato modifications, ranging from fried onion bits to diced jalape?os and BBQ sauce.

  “You know, November is tamale season. We could do tamales,” offered Grimblade, offering a different cultural holiday tradition.

  Noobkitty considered, then smiled widely. “You know what, since I can’t make tofurkey like I wanted, tamales do sound pretty good.”

  “Are you going to make weird ones?” asked Fizzypop. The idea of unusual tamales was clearly exciting them.

  “No,” she grinned. “We’re going to make weird ones.”

  Grimblade slammed his hand on the table with excitement. “Frog yeah! I haven’t had a tamale party since I was a kid. Noobkitty, I’m all for your colonizer holiday.”

  She sighed. “It’s not a.... okay, yes, it’s a colonizer holiday, but it’s meant to be about being thankful for what you have and appreciating family and friends. Also eating a bunch of stuff and falling asleep in a food coma.”

  “So, American gluttony, colonizing, and pie,” teased Fizzypop.

  “It’s not that bad, I swear,” said Noobkitty, unsure how to defend her heritage holiday.

  “Noobkitty, we’re just fluffing with you,” said Fizzypop, waving a hand dismissively. “I want a tamale filled with sweet potato and vegan marshmallows.”

  “Aw, I wanted one with spicy mashed potatoes,” said Skidmark.

  Noobkitty smiled, her determination returning. “Okay, I’ll be back in a few minutes with a bowl of masa and corn husks. Let’s do this.”

  So, the party started making Thanksgiving tamales filled with unconventional ingredients: stuffing, cranberry sauce, spicy mashed potatoes, beans, peppers, and whatever felt fun to include.

  ExpertBunny, utilizing her NPC administrative access, altered the program of the masa to slowly add a “fullness” effect for the players, reasoning that food comas were evidently a necessary part of her fiancée’s holiday tradition.

  While the team prepped tamales, Noobkitty did what she was most skilled at: desserts. She started to make pies, pumpkin, apple, and pecan.

  They messaged GYOAT and Grizzlebeard and set up long tables outside the tavern.

  Grizzlebeard grumpily brought potatoes, mushrooms, and carrots, pointedly avoiding meat despite insisting that without it, it wasn’t a “proper meal.”

  GYOAT brought fresh fruit, especially apples for more pies.

  Together, the feast was prepared, celebrating an unconventional, location specific, colonizer holiday with strange, delicious tamales.