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Chapter 21: Howard

  The firemen had helped get a large tarp on the roof and secure it. The brood had opened the windows and run fans to try and get rid of the smell. Mitzi had helped, and she tried to get Dan to sit, but he wouldn’t. He just kept checking if anyone needed help, and pitched in where needed. Viv was practically attached to him. She looked stoic, but if you knew her, she was terrified. Mitzi couldn’t blame her.

  By morning, the decision had been made that they wouldn’t be opening the restaurant that day. Dan called in to work and after that the news was all over Natchez. Calls came through with offers of aid and help, which Geraldine handled. Dan’s friends showed up for a while to check on all of them, but there wasn’t much left for them to really help with. They offered any help they could though to Runt and Geraldine before leaving. It was appreciated.

  Dan tried to play a blu-ray for the broodlings to distract them, but the smoke had damaged the player. Mitzi could tell this may have been the last straw. It made him sit down in the floor and bury his face in his hands. All she could do was walk over and hold him.

  “You probably wish you’d never heard of goblins now.” She said into his hair.

  “You know that’s not true.” Dan said as he finally slid his arms around her and squeezed. “I’ll make this right.”

  She pulled back and looked at him seriously. He meant that. He felt responsible.

  “Stop it.” She said. “You can’t fix everything.” She looked around. “Uncle Runt?”

  Runt looked over from cleaning windows and walked over to them.

  “What’s wrong, Mitzi-girl?”

  “PLEASE tell Dan this isn't his to fix.”

  She turned Dan to face Runt, who looked taken aback by the very idea.

  “Kid, you’re in the tribe. No one handles things alone. We fixed the house up before Larry bought it. We’ll fix it again. And again if a hurricane comes. And again if kobolds show up.” He put a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “I know we’re the size of kids, but you gotta understand. We’re hardy. This ain’t got nothin’ on the dungeon. We've got this. All of us.”

  Dan nodded slowly.

  “Sorry.” He said. “I’m still getting used to this whole ‘family’ thing.”

  Mitzi smiled and patted his cheek.

  “We’ll get you straightened out.”

  Runt gave both of them hard looks.

  “You two get out of here.”

  “What?” Mitzi asked.

  “We’ve got more than enough hands to handle this. Find somewhere calm. Sit for a while. Come back this afternoon. We’ll take care of this.”

  Mitzi nodded.

  “C’mon, Dan.” She said, and helped him stand. Viv looked around from where she sat in the floor.

  “Do you want to come?” Dan asked her, but the sweet kid just shook her head.

  “No. You’ll be back.”

  That earned her a hug from the both of them before they left.

  They’d stopped at a store on the way out and gotten something to eat for when they got to where they were going. Which made Mitzi wonder.

  “Where ARE we going?” She asked as Dan drove.

  “Somewhere that we're almost guaranteed to be alone on a weekday.” He said.

  “Care to elaborate?”

  “Ever been on the Natchez Trace?”

  Mitzi had heard of it. It was hard to live in Natchez and not know about the Trace, even if she hadn’t been on it before. Elves would sometimes use it as a relatively safe route if they shunned technology. There was very little traffic and slow speed limits.

  “No.” She said.

  Dan smiled. “Good. I get to be the first to show you.”

  The place Dan drove to was near the terminus. It was down a lone road and when they stopped, Mitzi just looked at what they’d found. It was a huge earthen mound with stairs leading up. The signs all proclaimed it “The Emerald Mound”, and there was a sign showing the history of the site. Dan let her read until she was satisfied. They were alone there on a Tuesday morning.

  The mound was long. It was large enough to play soccer on, but you’d probably lose the ball or break your neck if you weren’t careful. It was a steep climb up the stairs, and Dan didn’t stop there. At either end were two smaller mounds, and it was to the larger of these two that Dan led her.

  Once at the top, they had a grand view of the area. There were a couple of farms around it, but other than that it felt distant from human civilization. Dan sat and started setting out their lunch.

  “When I first moved to Natchez,” he said, “I would come out here to be alone some weekends. There was no way anyone could sneak up on me at the top of this thing.”

  Dan always put on such a brave face for everyone, even in his own mind, that she forgot how badly his experiences had affected him. She sat on the grass across from him.

  “Are you going to be ok?” She asked. The bond said he was still upset.

  He didn’t answer at first. He just handed her a tray of sushi and some chopsticks. His mood was gradually improving up here, but there was something still bothering him. She wished she could read his thoughts the way he could hers. He was turned and looking out over the landscape.

  “Mitzi, do you think I might deserve all these things that keep happening?”

  “WHAT?!” She hadn’t meant to yell and the echo out here was amazing, but that question was the most horrible idea he’d ever said out loud. Before she could answer, he continued.

  “I know how it sounds, but it's the kind of thing my mother used to drive home. You get what you deserve in life. Look what I've gotten. I just wonder if maybe this is karma. Or some punishment from God for turning on my family.”

  “How can you say that?” She was stunned. He'd never said anything like this before.

  He turned and looked at her.

  “Because it’s you. You’re the one person I feel like I can really be honest with. Is that ok?”

  Mitzi nodded slowly. This was part of the relationship. They had to be able to share these things.

  “You’re right.” She said quietly. “I’m sorry for yelling. But no, I don’t think you deserve these disasters. I don’t think you deserve any of it. You’ve been the kindest person I’ve ever met and none of this has been fair.”

  He nodded. She raised an eyebrow. Dan smiled before answering that eyebrow.

  “I just figured someone from the Everywhen would know divine retribution if they saw it.”

  She finally opened her tray of sushi and he did the same.

  “That’s not how it works back there.” She said.

  Dan tilted his head, inviting more. She ate some before continuing.

  “A lot of humans from here think the Everywhen is full of gods and divine beings, and that there are hundreds of religions. Like something from that RPG you told me about. But it’s not. There's the Greenman and the One. The Greenman is worshiped for boons and favors. There is no organized worship of the One. The One just is.”

  Dan stared. "What is a world like that like?"

  "The Everywhen runs on stories, Dan. Our lives are stories there."

  Dan lowered his chopsticks and smiled as he turned that over in his head.

  The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

  “I like that. I just wish it worked like that here.”

  “It does, but there’s more wiggle room here. Or that’s what Geraldine says.”

  Dan’s face scrunched up and Mitzi laughed.

  “Wasabi?” She asked.

  “BIG blob of the shit on the bottom of that one piece!” He said, pulling a bottle of water out and rinsing his mouth. He finally laughed at himself. “I wish this one was written better.”

  She almost said something about that, when he suddenly spoke back up.

  “YOU have been amazing. You’re still the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I just meant. . .” He trailed off.

  “Yeah?”

  “I don’t really know what I meant. I should probably just be quiet and move on or something. There are people who have it much worse than me.”

  Mitzi scooted around to sit beside Dan and looked up at him. He met her eyes.

  “Other people having it bad doesn’t make what’s happened to you better.” She said. She could already feel him rebuilding in his mind, not walling himself off. Dan was pivoting to some way to fix this in his mind. An angle. A way to make things better. He was doing what he always did. He was being strong, whether he knew it or not.

  “So I’m still house hunting.” He said.

  “How’s it going?”

  “Well, I’ve got two or three places Rob helped scope out, but it’s going to take a while to get a loan.”

  “This involves the bank?” She asked. In HER mind, if you want something someone else has, you offer to buy it from them and then give them the money. Even if it’s over time. Banks just sounded like a way to complicate things and line someone else’s pockets.

  Dan smiled down at her as he ate. Her feelings on capitalism were clear, even if she had to live with it.

  “It does.” He said, and she grumbled something under her breath.

  “And you said this could take months?” She asked, and he nodded. “THAT isn’t fair.”

  He chuckled.

  “Probably not, but at least I’ve got something going. Hopefully I won’t be permanently with the tribe, even if I do love being around them.”

  She was just thinking about how much she’d like to be around her family a little less, when Dan put an arm around her.

  “It’ll be nice to have alone time again. And somewhere you can read, and I can paint without Ric trying to eat my paints.”

  Mitzi leaned into him.

  “We’re alone now.” She said. She laughed at the shock he felt. Then something mischievous blossomed in him.

  “We’ll have to watch for tourists.” He said.

  “Wait, here?!” She said, genuinely surprised.

  “Well, how long has it been?”

  Mitzi grinned up at him.

  “You're dirty.”

  Before he could argue about who the dirty one was, she pushed him down on the grass.

  Dan’s life finally seemed to settle down by September. He was still at Goblin House, and there hadn’t been a disaster in at least a week besides having to replace some electronics. Viv was more or less glued to his side after the fire. He was concerned for the girl, but he decided the best thing to do was be supportive and try to get her comfortable again. It was the part of the entire ordeal that made him angry every time he thought about it. The girl didn't deserve more trauma.

  Rob had run Mitzi’s story as an op-ed and the response had be enthusiastic from both sides of the aisle. People were either fascinated by the glimpse into the life of a mob, or they were enraged at one being allowed a platform. Either way, it had gotten a discussion going, which was what Dan had hoped would happen. Mitzi felt embarrassed to be the center of attention, but she kept her head down and continued her work at Runt’s, her reading, and now her writing.

  Candy had been incarcerated, but that wasn’t universally praised. There was a small but vocal group of locals calling for her release, along with an even smaller group of protesters from out of state. Candy's aunt, Louise King, was the most vocal. Neither Dan nor the goblins had realized that Candy’s aunt had owned the tavern. Louise was screaming about this being a smear campaign. She told anyone who would listen that the goblins framed her niece as retaliation for losing their jobs. There had been concern that she'd hurt business. The few people that stopped eating at Runt's weren't people they wanted there any way.

  If there was one other thing that had kept Dan up most nights, it was how Candy had frozen when he’d yelled. He’d had himself tested with the Circle of the Greenman in Hattiesburg a week later, and he wasn’t any more magical than the next guy. Try as he might, he hadn’t been able to repeat the incident, either. Bandy had insisted on being the subject of those tests. They mostly involved her sneaking up on him and being tickled and him trying to stop by yelling. Mitzi had put a stop to that after a few days.

  The Saturday Night Thing had taken him out at least twice a week every week and he was glad. They never discussed anything important at their gatherings and Dan found it nice to not have to think about heavy topics. The most serious thing that happened was when he decided to tell them his name.

  “Dankinsingtonson.” Henry read from his phone as they waited for an appetizer. He'd been compiling a list.

  “Henry,” Rob said, “that may be the worst one you’ve come up with yet.”

  “I swear, Dan.” Shelly said, chin in her palm. “If you don’t tell us soon and put an end to this, I’m going to have to take Henry out back and shoot him.”

  Danielle laughed loudly at that.

  “You know, I used every method at my disposal to try and figure this out.” She said.

  “And what did your pretty rocks and cards tell you?” Shelly asked.

  “That Dan would tell us when he was ready.”

  Dan stared at her. Maybe he ready. He also didn’t think he wanted to help Shelly hide the body.

  “Fine.” Dan said. “I’ll tell you.”

  The entire table fell silent. Henry stared at him so hard, Dan thought one of them was going to start sweating.

  “They gave my mother pain meds during the delivery and she botched it, if that's any indication of what to expect.”

  Rob was already tight-lipped. He was going to laugh any second. Henry was about to twist is phone in half with the anticipation.

  “My name,” he said with a dramatic pause, “is Danathan.”

  Rob burst out laughing. Danielle nodded, seemingly satisfied. Shelly gave him a vicious grin like he’d handed her a knife.

  “Fine. If you’re not going to take it seriously, I give up.” Henry said, shoving his phone in his pocket with a harrumph.

  Dan just started laughing.

  It was a Friday in September when Dan’s phone rang and he stared at the contact name in shock. Howard.

  Howard was Dan’s only younger brother. They’d been close early on, but family dynamics had split them apart. He’d always tried to be kind to Howard though. Then Bethella had happened. He started at the face and name on the screen and told himself to let it go to voicemail. No interaction with his family had gone well since he'd come back.

  Dan snatched up his phone at what had to be the last minute and said “Hey”. It was Howard. He had a weakness for him. He had to.

  “Uh, hey Dan.” The voice sounded nervous. He tried to remember what Bethella had made him say to Howard during her games. When he did, his heart sank. Howard had been in the closet and Dan was the only person he’d felt safe telling. Bethella had destroyed that.

  “Howard, I don't know why you called and I know you didn’t want to listen to me before, but I can’t explain how sorry I am about what I said to you. You don’t have to forgive me, but I want you to know I feel awful.”

  There was silence on the other end.

  “Why’d you call me that, then?”

  Dan realized that hiding the truth had made him seem like an asshole. He’d begun telling friends what had happened to him, but he'd never once considered telling his family the truth. That made him feel sick. It had only made things worse, but he hadn't been able to cope at the time. It was time to change that, and there was no one better to start with than Howard.

  “I was enthralled by an elf witch. She kept me as a slave and made me ruin everything in my life as a game. I wasn't me again until I showed back up at mom's house.”

  More silence.

  “You’re serious?” He asked, and Dan squeezed his eyes shut.

  “Yes. I’m serious. Howard, do you think the guy you grew up with would really treat you the way I did for those few months?”

  “I...” Howard fell silent again.

  “Howard, I was serious. You don't have to forgive me, but if this is the last time I get to talk to you I needed you to know that I'm sorry. Whether I was in control or not doesn't matter. I should have been stronger and I'm sorry."

  “I WANT to believe you, Dan. But why didn’t you tell anyone?”

  He swallowed before continuing.

  "I was ashamed that it had happened. I didn’t have the courage to tell anyone until now, and I was afraid of what mom would say.”

  “Mom said you hated me more than the others.”

  Dan rubbed his face with a hand. She would have, wouldn’t she?

  “Mom told you that I was the one that told her you're gay?” Dan asked.

  “Yeah. She said everyone else would turn against me too, unless I kept it secret. She was trying to pick me out some poor girl to marry, Dan.” Dan winced.

  “If I had the option, Howie, I promise I would have killed myself before doing any of the things I did. I tried to will myself to do it but she wouldn’t let me.” Dan blinked. He’d never said that out loud. Not the wanting to die part. And he didn’t think he’d called his brother Howie since they were in grade school.

  “I hated mom. I think she was lying to everyone in the family about each other. I think she started making stuff up when you came to your senses. She told me, and probably everyone else, that you left to get away from us. She told us you’d abandoned us because you hated us.”

  Rob was walking up to the cubicle, but Dan shook his head and Rob held up his hands and backed off before turning to go. He must look terrible. He knew he was already crying.

  “I never hated you, Howie. I never hated any of you. I left because I was afraid of what you'd all think of me. She told me you all hated me now.”

  “Well, Vicki does, but she hates everyone but Sally. Sally just tolerates her though.” Dan just sat there silent for a time before Howard spoke again. “Dan, can we be friends again? Please?”

  Dan could barely get the word out, but he finally managed a yes as he choked back sobs. Howard was crying as well, but he managed to finally pull himself together.

  “I know you’re probably at work and everything, and I didn’t actually mean to call and give us both fuel for therapy, but I needed to talk to you about the house.”

  Dan got his face cleaned up before speaking.

  “What about it?”

  “Well, Vicki is selling mom's house now that things are starting to line up legally. The stuff inside is supposed to go to us, but no one wants any of it.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I'm in charge of disposing of all of it and I was actually calling to give you the option to come and pick out anything you wanted.” Howard said.

  “I’d love to, Howie, but I’m kinda homeless right now. I’m staying with my girlfriend. How long do I have?”

  "Wait, you're homeless?"

  Dan waved his had to dispell that line of questioning.

  "Later. How long do I have?"

  Dan heard Howard’s finger hitting his phone followed by quiet curses. Dan smiled. Howard was a bit of a Luddite for being the youngest.

  “Mid-October.” He finally said. “Vicki said if I can't be trusted to get it taken care of by then she's going to have the stuff trashed. I just didn’t feel right not giving you the option, even after everything. Neither did Sally.”

  “You could have texted me.” Dan said with a smile.

  “Yeah, well,” Howard said, “maybe I wanted to hear from you finally. Maybe I was hoping we could talk. I had my suspicions about what mom told us.”

  “Howie, I’m in Natchez. I want you to visit some time when I get settled. I want you to meet someone.”

  “Well, maybe I can meet them when you come to pick stuff up. Not that I don’t want to come down there!” Dan couldn’t stop smiling.

  “God, thank you for calling, Howie. I can’t tell you how much this means.”

  “I should have known something was wrong. We all should have. I’m sorry we all failed you.”

  Dan had never even considered that there would be anything they could have done, let alone that any of them would have done something.

  “Don’t worry about that.” Dan said. “I gotta go, but I can’t thank you enough for calling. I love ya, Howie.”

  “Thanks, Dan.” Was all Howard could croak out before hanging up.

  Dan sat the phone down and tried to get his head back into work. He had his brother back, and that was a miracle.

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