Coop’s only reply came in the form of a loud belch, after which she got right back to tearing strips of meat from the carcass.

  

  >> QUEST COMPLETED: Food for Ferret.

  Congratulations, you have sourced num nums for your soulbound companion, Coop. In doing so, you have fulfilled the first and perhaps most important task of any responsible pet owner. Make sure the fur baby has its num nums.

  QUEST REWARD: Soulbound Pet Treat

  The image of something like a dog biscuit in the shape of a bone appeared in the middle of Pete’s display.

  

  >> ITEM ACQUIRED: Soulbound Pet Treat

  +| USAGE: Can only be fed to pets that are soulbound to the player.

  +| CHARACTERISTICS:

  Bond Nourishment: Restores +20% of the pet’s max health instantly and an additional +10% over 10s.

  Affinity Charge: Slightly strengthens the soul-link, granting +5% to all pet damage and defenses for 5 minutes.

  Comfort Effect: Reduces the chance of the pet being affected by Fear, Charm, or Confusion effects by 10% for the next battle.

  Pete stored the item, noting that the last bonus might come in handy the next time he had to get Coop up somewhere high. Ten percent wasn’t amazing, but it might take the edge off her fear and reduce the likelihood of her doing something crazy.

  Glek raised his hand, drawing Pete’s attention. “We got the Belchy Belch, Vault Breaker. Got it real nice. You come see.”

  “Yeah, sure,” Pete said, accompanying the little goblin out of the room and back to the central chamber of the vehicle.

  “By the way,” Pete said, catching a final whiff of the dead rat-thing and feeling his stomach twist in response, “what was that thing back there? The critter Coop is eating?”

  The little goblin frowned up at Pete, as though he didn’t quite understand the question. “Is googyrat,” he said with a smile. “Big and juice. Good meats.”

  

  >> THE GOGGLE-RAT

  TYPE: Vermin

  RARITY: Common Nuisance Creature

  PRIMARY HABITAT: Dominion ships, storage bays, and anywhere food or loose coinage gathers.

  DESCRIPTION: The Goggle-rat (Rattus Oculobulbus) is a pest species notorious across the Dominion and is especially prevalent in Ultrimax contests. Ranging in size from that of an average Earth mouse to the size of a large cat, these wiry vermin sport twitching snouts crowned with two tufts of mustache-like fur and bulging, round eyes that gleam like those of a goldfish. Their oversized eyes give them a perpetually startled appearance, even as they dart into shadows to nibble at supplies, wires, or discarded trinkets.

  >> Because of their remarkable adaptability, Goggle-rats have been found in every season of the Dominion Ultrimax game, from the very first contest to the present time. They arrive not by design but typically as stowaways aboard NPC-owned Dominion ships, crawler rigs, or armored transports. Once introduced to a new planet, they multiply quickly, spreading through both surface environments and competitor camps alike.

  >> LEGEND ALERT: Would you like to read a Dominion legend relating to this species?

  >> Yes/No

  Pete looked over at Sam. She shook her head. “Hell no.”

  Pete grinned, selecting ‘yes’ anyway.

  

  >> DOMINION MYTH: The Goggle-Rat King

  Competitors and citizens alike whisper of a legendary monstrosity: the Goggle-rat King. According to the tale, during an early Ultrimax event, a surge of rogue System energy struck a mass of thousands of Goggle-rats that were busily feasting on the same supply cache. Instead of being obliterated, they were fused into a single abomination—a writhing mound of squeaks, mustaches, and bulging eyes that gained self-awareness and started menacing the hidden realms of the Dominion, skulking in the shadows and haunting every Ultrimax competition since its emergence.

  >> Said to exhale the stench of ten thousand vermin and glare with vast, bulging eyes, the Goggle-rat King is said to be able to command lesser Goggle-rats, drawing them to itself in order to heal wounds or grow in size. While the Mammon System officially records no such creature, sightings and hushed reports of “the squeaking colossus” persist season after season.

  >> System Note: If the Goggle-rat King exists, encountering it would count as a world event boss, with loot rewards tied to rare vermin-themed gear.

  “Good to know,” Pete said, still grinning.

  Sam shook her hands as though trying to rid them of some disgusting fluid. She was practically gagging. “Oh my God! That’s just… uck!”

  “Worse than being covered in goblin guts?” Pete asked.

  She started pacing, fists clenched.

  “Yes! Much worse! I hate rats. And I don’t just mean that I don’t like being around them; I mean, full-on phobia, heart thudding, mind on fire, girly screams and everything. I HATE RATS!”

  Pete held up his hands in surrender. “Shit! Sorry, okay, I won’t mention it again. I didn’t know.”

  “Yous want more googyrat?” Glek asked with a confused expression.

  “NO!” Sam barked.

  Pete shook his head. “No thanks, Glek. If you can take us to the Tongsly Belch sign, though, that would be great.”

  The little Burrower nodded and led them back out onto the street where other goblins were moving about industriously, all busy with their work and seeming to know exactly what they were doing. The first thing Pete noticed when he stepped out onto the road was that the hulking carcass of Griznack was missing. In its place was a seven-foot-high robotic representation of Tongsly Belch, with the sign the goblins had taken off the Vend-o-matic machine skillfully welded to the surface of the figure.

  Miraculously, the character was moving. Its arms and legs were clunky, and it was quite clear to anyone with eyes that Belch’s face had just been fixed to the robotic form, but the Burrowers had worked fast, and it was an impressive effort for such a short timeframe.

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  “Damn,” Pete said, walking up closer to the construct and seeing that it spun around on wheels and could move its arms independently. There were also clawed hands attached to those arms, and Tongsly Belch’s mouth moved in a way that approximated speech. “This is great! I mean, you guys did an awesome job.”

  Glek practically jumped into the air in response. Dozens of Burrowers were gathered around the robot, some still with welding torches or wrenches extended, goggles glinting, all wearing broad smiles. All except Marv, of course.

  He waddled over, holding something that looked like an old-fashioned radio controller with an area sticking out the top and two small joysticks, which Pete presumed would govern movement.

  “Is simple botty bot,” the grouchy goblin said, frowning heavily. “Basic movings back and forth. No speakings. No fightings. Just basic movings.”

  He handed the controller to Pete, refusing to look him in the eye. Pete took the controller with a broad smile.

  “Thanks. It’ll do perfectly.”

  [Nero] Agreed. I should be able to tie the relevant code to this unit quite easily. All we need to do is transport it far enough away so that we can lure the Coinflayer storm out of range of the Novice Arena, and then we can make our move for the arena.

  “Shit!” Sam said, staring down at her gauntlet. “Speaking of storms, looks like it’s changed course again, and it’s heading right towards us. Damn. It’s moving fast too. Much faster than before.”

  “How long until it gets here?” Pete asked.

  She looked up from her wrist. “Just under five minutes!”

  “Okay,” Pete replied, turning to Glek. “Well, thanks for this. We’ve gotta split because there’s a big-ass storm coming.” He motioned back to the tunneling vehicle. “You guys should probably get out of here too.”

  Glek nodded as Glip and Marv came to stand beside him. Other goblins started gathering behind the trio, some holding their helmets or goggles in their hands, others standing respectfully with hands—or drills—behind their backs. They stood silently for a few seconds before Sam spoke.

  “I think they’re waiting for a speech or something.”

  Pete looked out at the goblin faces, seeing the hope and adoration on their features. It was a profoundly odd sensation, looking out over this mass of little green figures that had been enemies only a short while ago and who had been trying to split him in half.

  He cleared his throat, trying to think about what to say.

  [Pete] Coop. Storm’s coming again, so we need to get out of here. Hurry up and finish.

  [Coop] Just finishing up the tail.

  Sam grimaced in response, turning away and walking over to the Tongsly Belch construct while Pete cleared his throat. “Less than five minutes, remember,” she called over her shoulder. “So, make it quick.”

  Pete nodded, looking down at the goblin clan arrayed in front of him.

  “Ah, first I want to apologize for killing a bunch of you.”

  [Sam] Damn, son, that’s a shitty start. Try giving them something a little more uplifting, for God’s sake.

  “And I…ah, want to say that I’m glad we could work it out and become friends.”

  [Coop] Stop telling them what you ‘want to say’ and just say it. And stand up straight. Act like you know what the hell you’re saying.

  “You fought well, and I can see that you’re very gifted at building…things and…”

  [Nero] Might I suggest that you focus on the path ahead? Inspire them with words of hope for the future.

  [Sam] Or just leave it at thanks and let’s get the hell out of here.

  [Coop] Or keep bumbling your way through—

  [Pete] SHUT UP!

  He shook his head, trying to keep the rage off his face. It was hard enough to deliver an impromptu speech without the three of them sniping from the gallery.

  “Long live the Burrowers!” he shouted, thrusting a fist in the air and hoping that a little volume and some action would make up for his other shortcomings. “Fight well. Fight with honor! Look after yourselves and…don’t be a dick!”

  “Don’t be a dick!” the goblins shouted in joyous response. “Don’t be a dick!”

  They latched onto the phrase, missing everything else he’d said and, for some reason, identifying that as the most important part of the speech. After several more shouts of their new anthem, the Burrowers began filing towards their drill vehicle, all except a small contingent that lifted the Tongsly Belch robot onto its side and carried it to the pickup truck Sam was heading towards.

  

  >> ACHIEVEMENT: The Anti-Dick Doctrine!

  You’ve achieved the highest form of goblin inspiration: concise, practical, and yelled loudly. The phrase is now canonized in Burrower law, at least with the Vault Breaker clan!

  ACHIEVEMENT REWARD: Goblin Burrowers from your clan gain +5 Morale when near you (+5% Resistance to Fear, +3% Attack Speed).

  Diplomacy Proficiency +1

  Leadership Proficiency +1

  Coop came scampering out of the drill vehicle a moment later, followed by the stocky goblin Pete had seen working on his gear earlier. The Burrower walked up to Pete and handed him back his bow and quiver with a nod of respect. Pete noticed that the quiver was heavier and that there were new shafts in there that he hadn’t seen before.

  The goblin smithy thrust his hands into the air. “Don’t be a dick!” he growled before turning and walking away.

  The other goblins quickly began retreating to their vehicle as the sound of thunder in the distance grew louder and the ground began to shake. Pete and Coop headed towards the truck as Sam turned the engine on and started turning the vehicle around so that they could make a speedy departure.

  While he walked, Pete examined his bow along with one of the new drill arrows he’d obtained.

  

  >> WEAPON AUGMENT: Griknak’s Debtstring

  +| Drill-Spring Stabilizer (Burrower Addition)

  Scrap springs bolted to the bow’s frame absorb recoil.

  Reduces stamina cost of shots by 5%.

  +| Grease-Grooved Pulleys (Burrower Addition)

  Adds a crude pulley wheel at the bow’s limb joints, giving +5% draw speed.

  The bow looked essentially the same apart from a small copper plate just above the handgrip. It didn’t seem to be any heavier than it had been before, and the balance seemed exactly the same. Pete nodded, pleased with the enhancements and wondering what practical difference he’d notice given the changes. A little reduction in stamina loss would be helpful, and draw speed could only be a good thing, but it was the new arrow that drew his attention most.

  

  >> NEW ARROW TYPE: Coin-Biter Drill Shafts [Drill Arrows]

  +| Design: Arrowheads rimmed with jagged Belch Bucks sharpened into vicious teeth.

  +| Effect: +18% armor penetration, +10% damage vs. constructs or mechanical enemies.

  +| Bonus: Leaves a “biting wound” — target takes +5% more damage from all sources for 4s.

  All in all, the Burrower smithy had miraculously constructed thirty of the new Coin-Biter arrows and had also fixed or crafted several new standard arrows, bringing the total number of those to forty.

  “Sweet,” he mused, dropping both the bow and arrows into his inventory along with the robotic controller the goblins had given him.

  “What is it?” Coop asked, scampering alongside him as he opened the passenger-side door of the truck.

  “More ammo. Better arrows too, so I’ll be able to do more damage the next time we’re in a fight.”

  He waited for Coop to leap up onto the seat before climbing into the cabin himself.

  “Let’s go!” Sam said impatiently. “This storm is moving fast!”

  The moment he settled into place, the truck lurched forward. Pete leaned back, reaching for a handle and looking out the window just as the large drill vehicle dipped nose-first into the ground and burrowed out of sight.

  “I know it’s been less than a day since this all started, but that shit was crazy.”

  “Agreed,” Sam said, her eyes darting to the rearview mirror as a violent crack echoed through the area, rattling the windows and shaking the car.

  Pete spun around and saw the dark clouds rolling towards them from the rear. Spikes of lightning struck the ground as the hateful tempest chewed up the sky.

  “Jesus, that thing is moving fast!”

  [Nero] Much faster than a storm of that kind would normally move. It is… somewhat suspicious. Almost as though the tempest is being controlled by someone set on our destruction.

  “Either that or the damned thing has got it in for us,” Pete suggested. “You haven’t set up that code thing yet, have you?”

  [Nero] Not yet, no. Perhaps the storm was drawn to us because of your bout with Griznack. Though that does seem somewhat unlikely. I am unsure why the storm would wait so long after the fight to attack.

  “Is that what it’s doing, though?” Pete asked. “Attacking us?”

  “Well, it sure as shit isn’t trying to give us a hug!” Sam spat, turning the wheel sharply to the left as the truck skidded around a turned-over van and continued down the road. “We need to find a way to lose it.”

  “Maybe throw it some food,” Coop suggested, licking her paw as she sat in Pete’s lap.

  He was about to comment on her suggestion but realized it wasn’t actually a bad idea.

  “Can you rig up a code that will look like something else the storm might be interested in?” he asked.

  [Nero] These storms are highly unpredictable. They are reportedly attracted to players such as yourselves, large caches of wealth, in addition to important figures such as Tongsly Belch himself. I am not sure that I would be able to simulate vast quantities of wealth, however, to provide something attractive to the storm. I am also unable to simulate players. The data relating to both of these aspects of the game is tightly governed, and attempting to alter that information would be quickly punished.

  Pete grinned. “Punished like impersonating a visit from Tongsly Belch?”

  [Nero] I take your point; however, that is an entirely different matter. By signaling falsely that Baron Tongsly Belch is making an appearance, we are simply utilizing a communications code that exists outside of the game itself. If we attempt to simulate great wealth or the presence of a large number of human contestants, we are directly influencing the game mechanics themselves.

  Pete considered that. It seemed like a strange distinction to make. Either way, they were rigging the game to their advantage.

  “Well, I guess we’ve only got one option, then,” he said, turning to Sam. “Floor it!”