The little guy led them past the workshop, through a large section of the tube-like interior of the vehicle with hammocks hanging on either side, and into a small chamber, which looked to have been recently modified. There were a bunch of smaller seats that had been hastily pushed together along with several cushions that had been fashioned out of smaller pillows and laid out on the newly constructed chairs.
A small table in the middle of the walkway held what looked like a pot of tea and several small cups along with a variety of cookies and other sweets laid out on a series of small plates.
“Well, this is weird,” Pete said. “It’s like a waiting room at one of those fancy places where you drop your car off to get serviced.”
Sam snorted. “What the hell kind of places are you taking your car, dude?”
He thought about his pulverized Mitsubishi Mirage and reflected on just how different his life had become since he first stepped outside that morning and found his car pulped by one of the game obelisks. That had only been hours ago, but somehow it felt like an age had passed since then.
Pete had woken up that morning desperately trying to think of some way to trick himself into getting through a nine-hour day in the office. There were toilet breaks, of course, and trips to the kitchen to pour a cup of tea or get soda or spend a few minutes enduring inane conversations with one or other of his colleagues, but that would only blow through so much time. And he had work to do. Mindless, monotonous work. A mountain of spreadsheets to navigate and a day of subpar coffee, pointless meetings, and corporate jargon to navigate.
In the space of just a few hours, though, his life had become a literal struggle for survival. The goal wasn’t to blow through time but to actually survive the barrage of insane obstacles and enemies the System was going to throw at him.
Instead of worrying about paying his rent and somehow scraping together enough money to dig his way out of crushing college debt, he now thought of money as a weapon, or at least the most important resource in keeping himself alive in this crazy new world.
He and Sam sat on opposite sides of the chamber as the silent goblin poured tea, or something like it, into two cups and pushed them to either side of the table in front of the pair. The little guy motioned to the tea, grinned, then bowed and backed away, turning and leaving them alone in the strange room.
“It might be poisoned,” Coop suggested.
[Nero] I very much doubt that. As I have stated, this Burrower clan is bound to you by contract. They would not do anything to cause direct or indirect harm to you, even if the System itself commanded them to do so.
Pete picked up the cup of tea and gave it an experimental sniff. It smelled of strong tea with a hint of something sugary and a slight scent of machine oil. He took a sip and found it pleasantly refreshing.
“Not bad,” he said, leaning forward and picking up one of the snickerdoodle-type cookies on a plate nearby.
Sam did the same, taking a sip of her own tea and picking up two different cookies. “This is kind of weird, huh?” she said, popping the first cookie into her mouth.
“This whole thing is weird,” Pete agreed. “I mean, part of me still can’t believe that it’s real. When you think about an alien invasion, you expect things to happen a little slower than this, right? Like, first the government picks up signals from deep space, or they spot a huge spaceship in orbit around the planet. Maybe the enemy sends troops or some kind of delegation to talk to our leaders and threaten them. Then maybe we fight and struggle for a few months or even years until the aliens wipe out resistance.”
He shook his head. “This, though, feels like it was over and done in seconds. Nero, did our military even try to fight back?”
[Nero] That is a difficult question to answer, Pete. If you mean, was there an attempt to push back against the System and the Tongsly Belch Corporation and the wider Dominion more generally, then yes. Several military outfits attempted to do just that, but their efforts were in vain. Just like all other humans on the planet, any souls that were outside of sanctioned residential or work habitations were eradicated within the opening moments of the contest. This includes any soldiers and military operatives.
“But how did they get here without anyone noticing?” Sam asked.
“Corruption,” Coop offered. “Someone would have known, and they would have been paid to look the other way. That’s what always happens. Some traitor unlocks the gate and lets the enemy in.”
[Nero] In fact, the answer is somewhat more mundane. The Tongsly Belch Corporation long ago acquired the necessary technology to approach potential game worlds without being detected by conventional scanning equipment. They would have sent a location scout years ago to assess the viability of this world for the contest. Once their report got back to the board, a decision would have been made, and then, at the completion of the previous season, the entire apparatus was shifted to your wealth.
“Damn,” Pete said, slipping the last piece of a vanilla-flavored cookie into his mouth. “That’s kind of humbling.”
He took another sip of tea, frowning. “Shit! I haven’t assigned my new attribute points yet.” He looked over at Sam. “Have you?”
She nodded. “Pretty much as soon as I got them, yeah.”
“Me too,” Coop said. “Put it into that Constitution slot. I figure if you’re gonna keep throwing me off the top of buildings, I’ll need as much health as I can get.”
“I didn’t throw you off anything,” Pete insisted, opening up his profile.
“Pushed then! It amounts to the same damned thing!”
>> DOMINION ULTRIMAX PLAYER PROFILE
NAME: Pete – Vault Breaker
CLASS: Penny Pincher
LEVEL: Novice
>> CORE ATTRIBUTES:
Credit Rating [Constitution]: 0
Asset Leverage [Strength]: 0
Liquidity [Agility]: 2
Market Insight [Intelligence]: 0
Capital Stability [Wisdom]: 0
Investor Confidence [Charisma]: 0
Speculative Yield [Luck]: 0
>> AVAILABLE POINTS TO SPEND: 2
“How the hell can I still be breathing with a Constitution of zero?” Pete asked.
[Nero] All players are given a baseline of each attribute upon purchasing them, which is based on their current physical and mental capacities. So, in your case, your Strength, Constitution, and Agility are quite high for a normal human given your size and physical properties. While you will still see zeros in each of your starting attributes, when compared to a human of weaker stature and Strength, those zeros do not reflect your greater physical capacities.
Sam nodded. “So, he’ll have more Strength even though it’s showing as zero, whereas I’ll have higher Intelligence than Pete because I’m smart as hell and he’s a dumb dumb?”
That prompted a look of mock offense from Pete, followed by laughter as Nero replied.
[Nero] Yes, in fact. Your baseline Intelligence does start slightly higher than Pete’s. This is not a reflection of mental capacity; however, it—
“Nope!” Sam blurted. “You heard him. I’m smarter than you, Petey Boy! Much smarter!”
He shook his head. “No chance. It just means you’re probably into crystals or some shit like that, so you’re more in tune with magic.”
“Bullshit!” she fired back. “You’ve got big muscles, so well done. But I’m clearly the brains of this operation. I’m guessing I’m much higher in Charisma too.”
[Nero] It should be noted that your baseline levels of each attribute are of little consequence. As soon as you start assigning points to these attributes, you will far outstrip anyone with a zero against them. Even someone who is terrifically strong or has a far higher Intelligence propensity at the beginning of the contest will be thoroughly overwhelmed by a player with even a single point in their Intelligence attribute.
Sam shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. Let the record show that I’m more intelligent than Pete.” She pointed at him. “You should write it in that new ledger of yours. Write down ‘Sam is more attractive and more intelligent than Pete.’”
Pete laughed, almost spilling his tea as he put the cup down.
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.
“You’re adding attractive in there too, huh?”
“Of course! Just because there’s no direct attribute relating to it doesn’t mean it’s not true.”
Pete ignored her, debating whether to put another point into Agility or to start focusing on other areas. Given the doubling bonus to that stat, he couldn’t help but put one of his available points into Agility, but the other he decided to put into either Constitution or Strength. His fight against Griznack and the Burrowers had taken him to the limits of his endurance, but the question was whether that was due to a lack of Strength or Constitution.
He narrowed down on each stat, taking a look at the proficiencies within each. There were several suggested proficiencies listed beneath each core attribute, but all of those were grayed out except for the ones where he had already gained at least one point. He could see that there were also other items lower on each list that could be accessed by hitting the ellipsis at the end of each list.
>> PROFICIENCIES
+| Credit Rating [Constitution]:
Stamina: 1
Pain Tolerance: 0
Disease Resistance: 0
+| Asset Leverage [Strength]:
Heavy Melee Fighting: 1
Brawling: 1
Grappling: 0
“So, I really need more stamina, right?” Pete asked as Sam stood up and walked over to sit down beside him.
Coop was sitting on the seat nearby, sniffing at a cookie uncertainly, while the hellhound sat on the opposite couch that Sam had just vacated, one leg cocked as he licked his non-existent genitals like he was on a mission.
“Let me take a look,” Sam said as Pete’s player profile was displayed in front of them both in floating orange details, offering a clear holographic rundown of what he’d been looking through.
[Nero] Constitution is recommended if you wish to increase your stamina levels. It pairs well with Agility if you are planning to do a good deal of running or performing activities that require strenuous effort.
“Like holding back a bow for ages,” Pete suggested. “Or carving through a small army of goblins.”
A Burrower shuffled past the entrance to the room at that moment, its arms laden with a bunch of scrap metal. It turned to face them, eyes widening right at the moment when he mentioned ‘carving through goblins’ before the little Burrower quickly scampered out of view.
“What about Strength though?” Sam asked, pointing at the attribute. “Won’t that help with bows too?”
[Nero] A little, but it will primarily assist with drawing the bow. Stamina is required to maintain the drawn stance, for example, when Pete is utilizing his new charged attack ability. Strength is most beneficial with melee abilities, particularly those where the ability to hit harder increases damage.
Pete frowned at that. “Right, but it would help with the machete, though. So, maybe I’m better off going with Strength rather than Constitution?”
[Nero] Both attributes will assist with your bow work and melee attacks. On balance, I would suggest that Constitution is a wiser choice at this juncture, however, as the additional stamina will provide a greater benefit to either kind of attack.
Pete navigated away from the detailed view of his attributes and shifted to his class view, highlighting the new Berserker subclass he had picked up earlier.
“Okay, but what’s the deal with subclasses?” he asked. “Is this Berserker subclass something that will just give me a little more flexibility with the Penny Pincher class, or can I swap between the two? Because I’m thinking Strength might be better if I use this Berserker class more.”
[Nero] Typically, subclasses add new fighting and engagement options to your primary class. You do not simply swap from one class to another but instead gain access to certain skills that might otherwise be unavailable. In this case, the Berserker subclass focuses primarily on melee burst damage as well as damage mitigation and several other qualities. It pairs well with your choice of a bow as a primary weapon, giving you flexible options when melee fighting is required.
“But what happens when we reach the Novice Arena, and I have to pick a soulbound weapon? I can’t pick a bow and a sword, right? So, having the Berserker subclass seems kind of pointless if I’ll have to choose between a ranged or melee weapon.”
[Nero] Perhaps, perhaps not. Soulbound weapons are not like the weapons you are currently using. They grow and develop with their owner, tailoring themselves to both primary and subclasses. Whichever soulbound weapon you end up choosing, it will serve your needs well, provided you take care to develop it along with your attributes, proficiencies, and so on.
Pete frowned, turning to Sam. “Am I wrong, or did that make no sense at all?”
“Sounded like BS to me,” she answered. “What aren’t you telling us, Nero? Sounds like you’re spinning us a story.”
[Nero] I am not attempting to deceive you in any way, I assure you. It’s just that I am unable to divulge certain details about the Arena and the advancement process ahead of time. There are certain inbuilt restrictions on what I can and cannot say, and the System is very strict with this sort of thing.
Pete pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. “Okay, well can you at least tell me when I’m likely to start seeing some of these other abilities; the ones that relate to the Berserker subclass?”
[Nero] That will depend on the internal parameters of your Penny Pincher class. However, as this is a unique class that was purpose-built, I do not have access to that information. You will simply have to keep an eye out for changes and new options as they occur.
Pete opened his eyes. He navigated back to his attributes and put a point in Constitution.
“Done,” he said. “God, I just realized we’re gonna need a shit ton more of these to level up. We need a hundred points, right, Nero?”
[Nero] Correct. There will be significantly more opportunities to gain attribute points when you enter the Novice Arena. Now that your full attribute configuration is locked in, you will also find that certain quests and achievements will reward points.
Before Pete could reply, Glek appeared at the entrance to the chamber. He was holding a small wooden chest, struggling to hold it as he waddled forward. The little goblin placed the chest on the floor in front of the group, drawing puzzled expressions from the others. Pete could feel Coop’s claws tighten around his neck as the little goblin opened the top of the chest.
“Jesus, Coop! Settle down,” he barked as Glek finished opening the box and revealed a pile of stacked golden coins inside.
Pete and Sam leaned forward to get a clearer look while Coop clung to Pete’s neck and Wolfy continued licking the formless mound where his genitals might have been if he had possessed any.
“What am I looking at here?” Pete asked.
Glek took a step back, motioning to the heap of golden coins. “Bounty, Vault Breaker. Winnings from battle.”
He bent down and picked up one of the bent and twisted coins, which looked half-melted. Pete recognized it as one of the projectiles that had been fired from Griznack’s cannon and that had almost torn him and Coop into pieces.
“How much?” Sam asked.
Glek placed the bent coin back onto the pile. “Big many,” he said with a broad grin.
Shaking her head, Sam slid off the couch and bent down in front of the pile. Details of the ‘bounty’ appeared in each of their displays.
>> GOBLIN BOUNTY: Behold the spoils of your triumphant battle against a goblin Burrower clan.
>> 2340 Belch Bucks
“One more thing,” Pete said. “Do you have any meat? Not cooked meat or anything like that. More like a dead mouse or a little lizard or something.” He pointed to Coop. “She’s looking for something to eat, but something a little more… gamy than what we’ve got here. I’m happy to pay for it.”
The little goblin shook his head furiously. “No pay, Vault Breaker. No pay.” He tapped his chest. “Glek finding the snacky snacks. Glek finding the good meats.”
He turned and ran, charging out of the room like his heels were on fire as Pete squinted after the little Burrower. He looked aside at Coop as the ferret climbed down his arm and onto the floor.
“Happy?”
She snorted. “Let’s just see what they bring me.”
Sam picked up one of the bent coins and turned it over in her fingers. “Two and a half grand ain’t bad at all.”
“Yeah, it’s a good haul. I feel kind of guilty though, don’t you? I mean, we killed a bunch of the little guys and destroyed their leader.”
“Depends on your perspective. From where I’m sitting, we freed them from an oppressive overlord, and they started the fight, remember, so the deaths are kind of on them. You wouldn’t feel guilty if they jumped into a wood chipper, would you?”
She turned back to the pile of coins.
“Probably best if I take all this and you can let me know if there’s anything you want me to buy, seeing as everything you touch turns to shit.”
Pete laughed at that.
[Nero] I feel compelled to warn you that if you do not distribute these winnings evenly, it may negatively impact your relationship with the Red Ledger and could affect your effectiveness as a fighting unit. While you may be able to split the funds three ways, taking the entirety of the bounty yourself, Sam, would be problematic.
“Seriously?” Sam barked, turning to Pete. “This isn’t even a loot object! It’s just a pile of cash.”
[Nero] The bounty has been presented to you as a single object rather than loose coins you may have found on the ground. As such, it is classified by the System as an object that is subject to Pete’s Self-Inflicted Tax debuff.
“Damn it,” Sam said. “That stupid ledger is screwing us already.”
Pete shrugged, grinning. “Why do you think I was so pissed when I picked the damned thing up?”
She dropped the coin and started working through the numbers.
“So, we each get 780 Belch Bucks, but as soon as you get your share, you’re gonna lose 702 Bucks?”
[Nero] Yes, but that wealth is not lost. Not completely, at least. It will be transferred to the Red Ledger as Thrift, remember? It will become a resource that will be useful for Pete later on, if he survives. In addition, it will make the ledger well-fed, which can trigger other positive benefits.
“Fine,” Sam said, still clearly displeased with the arrangement. “But this is going to seriously screw us over from now on. That Thrift better be worth it.” She pointed to the chest. “How do I divide this up evenly?”
[Nero] Simply select the ‘distribute to party’ icon in your HUD.
She did it, and the exchange was made, with Belch Bucks being transferred instantly.
>> 780 Belch Bucks received.
>> 702 Belch Bucks transferred to the Red Ledger.
>> THE RED LEDGER IS WELL FED.
A little icon popped up at the side of Pete’s HUD showing a cartoon icon representing the Red Ledger licking its lips, teeth glinting for a moment before the ‘Well Fed Ledger’ icon disappeared. He grinned, pulling the ledger out of his inventory and turning to the first page of the book. Sure enough, details of the record had been recorded on the first line of the page, with the date, source of funds, and amount all recorded. There was also a series of other symbols written on the right side of the line that Pete couldn’t interpret.
He got a sense as he held the book that the Red Ledger was indeed well fed. Pete couldn’t exactly explain the sensation, but it just seemed as though there was a certain rightness to the situation. He hadn’t realized it until then, but he’d been feeling a baseline of stress from the moment he first picked up the ledger, and he now understood that this was because the ledger had been underfed.
Just another thing he’d need to manage as he continued through the game: keep the Red Ledger well fed and hope that the benefits of the relationship eventually outweighed its current minuses.
He put the book back into his inventory as Glek came wandering back into the room, holding something between the fingers of his left hand. It looked like a rodent of some kind, dangling from its tail and clearly dead. As the little goblin moved closer, Pete saw that the creature he held wasn’t a rat, but some kind of rat-like critter with bulging eyes and fur sprouting from its muzzle, which made it seem as though it had a large mustache.
Glek grinned, holding up the dead creature in front of Coop, who scurried over, suddenly intensely interested in what the Burrower had to offer.
“Good meaty meats!” Glek chirped, dropping the rat-thing onto the floor.
Coop immediately ran over, sniffing the creature as though it were the most fascinating thing in the world.
“Jesus, Coop!” Pete said. “Smells like that thing’s been dead a week.”
“I don’t expect you to understand,” she hissed back. “I’ve been craving good meat since I popped into Pickle’s body. It smells…delicious.”
“Smells like an ass hamburger,” Sam countered, waving a hand in front of her face.
“You can talk!” Coop hissed back. “That fury demon of yours stinks to high heaven.”
Sam stood, shaking her head. “I’m not gonna be able to watch this.”
“But you’re fine with the dog licking its crotch?” Coop said, turning her attention back to the rat-creature and taking a bite.
Sam averted her eyes, walking out of the room with Wolfy following close behind. Pete watched as the little ferret ripped the rat-thing apart, eating greedily, its internal organs spilling out onto the floor.
Glek grinned. “Is good meaty meats, yes? Tasty.”
The little goblin looked like he might bend down to the ground and join in as Pete stood.
“I think I’ll leave you to it, Coop,” he said, no longer interested in either the tea or cookies that had been laid out for them. “Come find me when you’re done.”