At the same time, Sam sent her hellhound towards the enemy. Instead of covering the distance between them in a normal fashion, however, the beast simply vanished from sight and reappeared instantly in front of the same Burrower that Pete had just attacked. The wolf leaped up, teeth bared as it attacked the goblin, who tried to bat it away with its pincer.
Unlike the other goblins, these didn’t seem at all afraid of the wolf. Then again, the thick goggles they wore looked as though they wouldn’t offer much by way of a clear perspective, so maybe they couldn’t see the wolf clearly enough to be scared of it.
“Coop! I’m sending you all my cash, got it!” Pete shouted, pulling another arrow from his quiver and trying to aim for the gap between the goggles and breastplate as he focused on another of the creatures that was charging towards him with an arm that looked like it had a small jackhammer attached to it.
“Griznack!” the goblin screeched as it ran towards him, jackhammer pumping.
Pete waited a few moments, holding his shot until the creature drew closer and then fired when it was only ten feet in front of him. He then quickly transferred all of his available money to Coop and darted to the left as soon as his Insolvency debuff kicked in.
The arrow struck above where he was aiming but moved with enough force to crash right through the Burrower’s right goggle lens, thudding into the flesh beneath as the goblin stumbled a few steps and then promptly fell onto his face. The jackhammer was still pumping furiously, making the dead body jerk around on the ground like a demented puppet come to life.
>> ACHIEVEMENT: One Eye Wally!
Congratulations! You just shot a Goblin Burrower right through the goggles and killed him DEAD! In case you’re interested, the arrow cracked the glass and drove right through Dougie’s eye and into his brain, killing him instantly. And yes, you just killed a goblin named Dougie, so I hope you’re happy with yourself!
KILL REWARD: 5 Belch Bucks!
ACHIEVEMENT REWARDS: +5 Fearsome to all goblins for the next 10 minutes.
>> ARCHERY PROFICIENCY +1
“Griznack Goldgnasher!” one of the other goblins shouted, jabbing a pickaxe in the air as it charged towards Pete.
Once more, he funneled money to Coop, and his Insolvency debuff reactivated. He drew another arrow and aimed right for the pickaxe-wielding Burrower, who was looking left and right, utterly bemused as to where his quarry had gone but still running at full pace.
It was an utterly overpowering advantage to have, being practically invisible while an enemy ran right into your arms with no idea you were there. Pete pulled back the bowstring, steadied his breathing, and fired when the goblin was just a few feet away.
Instead of aiming for exposed flesh below the goblin’s face, Pete aimed for the creature’s chest, looking to drive the arrow through a gap between the metallic cogs that formed makeshift armor. The arrow hit precisely the right spot, but instead of knocking the goblin off its feet, the arrowhead, shaft, and fletching were driven straight through the creature’s heart, threading the needle and coming out of a gap in the armor at the creature's back before bouncing up off the road and into the air.
The goblin stopped running, slowing to a steady walk as it moved up ahead of Pete, blood dribbling from the wound in its chest. It glanced left and right, still bemused by its fate as it looked for an enemy it could no longer see.
Before the goblin died, Pete notched another arrow and began walking towards another Burrower, which sported a drill on either hand, making Pete wonder how the creature ate or did any of the normal activities one might expect of a creature like this.
He fired one arrow, but it bounced off one of the drills as the goblin turned to face Sam’s wolf, which had finished mangling one of his fellows and was now snapping at his throat. Pete pulled out another arrow and held himself in a ready stance, waiting for an opportunity as the goblin tried to drill the wolf to death but managed only to hold it at bay.
The goblin Burrower turned to face the wolf, drills whirring, steam hissing from its backpack as hot oil sprayed from several hoses that the wolf had already shredded. Pete shot the bow, and the arrow went sailing through the intervening space and shot directly into the creature’s right ear, lodging in place as it drove through the goblin's brain but hit the mechanical listening device on his other ear.
In an absurdly comic scene, both the driller and the goblin Pete had shot through fell to the ground in perfectly choreographed unison, their bodies clattering against the road, drills still whirring and sending up sparks as they clattered against the asphalt.
>> KILL REWARD: 10 Belch Bucks!
Pete pushed the money to Coop and drew another arrow, finding that another three Burrowers had jumped out of the huge drill vehicle. He drew the bow, wondering whether, if he lined them up right, he’d be able to kill two goblins at once and whether or not there’d be a bonus for that.
[Coop] PETE! I need help!
“Shit!” He let the string go slack and turned around to see Coop peering over the top of the Vend-o-matic machine, her little face barely visible.
[Coop] I can’t get down!
[Pete] You’re gonna have to jump. I can’t get up there to bring you down, and there are a bunch of enemies down here.
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
[Coop] I can’t jump!
[Pete] I’ll catch you. And you can even use your shield just in case.
[Coop] You don’t understand. My head is spinning! Everything is upside down!
Pete cursed under his breath, looking around for something he could use to help her get down but finding nothing helpful. He caught sight of Sam, driving back two enemies with some kind of percussive blast spell while her wolf blinked to her side and started ripping into one of the goblins.
“Fuck!” Pete blurted.
There were too many of them, and even with the wolf, Sam was going to get overwhelmed sooner or later.
[Pete] Just stay up there. I’ll come get you once we’re—
The ground shook as four sections of the huge burrowing craft opened up on either side. The vehicle opened out like a space shuttle to reveal a huge figure emerging on a rising platform, its huge form covered in tarnished metal and shrouded by hissing steam. The piercing voice blasted out of the speakers again, making the fillings in the back of Pete’s teeth hurt.
>> Tremble, Topdwellers! Clutch your coin purses and weep, oh trembling Topwalkers, for the Sultan of Shiny Things stirs beneath your fragile feet! Grovel before the Drill-Crowned Duke of Dirt, the Unholy Chomper of Fortune itself — Griznack the Goldgnasher — and his wallet-hungry Burrowers!
The figure continued to emerge from the vehicle, its towering form roughly twice the size of a hobgoblin and almost as wide as it was tall. Like many of the smaller Burrowers, Griznack had a drill attached to one hand, but his other hand was dominated by a glinting metal shield in the shape of an oversized Belch Buck. Smaller mechanical limbs extended from the huge figure’s torso with a variety of implements attached to each.
Griznack’s eyes shone with golden light, a mosaic of brightly polished golden Belch Bucks fixed in place. Light also glinted off a similar array of golden teeth beneath a bulbous nose. The giant goblin’s ears were covered in armor plating, and the bulk of his torso was more machine than biology, with piston-driven legs that looked like they had been constructed of heavy machinery repurposed as limbs.
At the center of his chest piece sat an icon that looked like the circular handle of a vault door, and the words Griznack Goldgnasher were written in vivid gold paint just below the symbol. A similar symbol had been painted on his shoulder plates and legs, along with the metal chimney extending from a huge, steam-powered generator attached to his back.
“Fuck!” Pete hissed, trying to figure out how on Earth he was going to take the massive machine boss down.
Here and there, he could see rubber hoses and pipes, and there were junction boxes and wires nestled within the protected areas close to the brute’s chest, but they sat beyond the massive shield, and Pete had no idea how he was going to get in close to those. The group needed a tank, and he doubted Wolfy would do the trick. Coop’s abilities weren’t exactly overpowered, but she’d already proven herself to be a far better tank than anyone else in the group so far.
[Pete] You need to come down, Coop. We’re screwed without you. We need you to tank!
[Coop] Then find a way to get your ass up here and bring me down, SAFELY!
“Shit!” Pete said, drawing his bow and firing at one of the smaller Burrowers that had taken the opportunity to lunge at Sam while everyone’s attention was on Griznack.
The arrow hit the goblin in the back of the head, failing to penetrate its helmet but knocking it directly into the side of the Vend-o-Matic machine, where it hit with a loud clang. The goblin stumbled backward in a daze, drawing a heavy frown from the huge mini boss.
“Shut yer guzzard, mucky muck!” Griznack boomed.
Pete drew another arrow, moving closer to Sam as he sent her a private message.
[Pete] We need to get Coop down here, but she’s frozen up there. Any chance your wolf could pop up top and give her a shove?
Sam smirked.
[Sam] Should be able to do that, yeah. She won’t be happy, though.
[Pete] We don’t have a choice. I’ll head just behind the kiosk. Send the wolf up and shove her towards me. I’ll catch her.
Sam nodded as Pete moved around to the rear of the kiosk. At the same time, Griznack raised his drill arm into the air, and it spun noisily, sparks flaring around it as a description of the boss appeared on Pete’s HUD.
>> MINI BOSS: Griznack the Goldgnasher
LEVEL: Novice Elite Enemy
TYPE: Goblin-Flesh Drillfiend — Rare Miniboss
Griznack no longer rides a machine — he is one. Twisted by obsession, the mighty underworld minter has grafted drill heads, pistons, and jagged coin-plates directly into his green goblin flesh. His arms are mismatched: one ending in a spinning drill, the other reinforced with a large round shield in the shape and form of an oversized Belch Buck. Steam hisses from vents cut into his back, and his jaw is studded with polished Belch Bucks, forming a permanent grin. Wherever he burrows, flesh and metal grind together in a chorus of pain and greed.
+| Primary Damage Type: Piercing (Drill Arm)
+| Secondary Damage Type: Bludgeoning (Shield Slam)
>> SPECIAL ABILITIES:
+| Belch Buck Rush: Burrows under the earth, then erupts upward to deal +125% Piercing damage and knock enemies prone.
+| Coin Spray: Shakes his drill violently, releasing a spray of heated shrapnel coins in a cone, dealing minor Fire damage over 6s.
+| Steamvault Slam (Charge Ability): Griznack vents his steam pack, blasting himself forward in a straight line with explosive speed. The charge ends in a devastating drill thrust and shield bash against the first enemy struck. +300% Bludgeoning damage.
+| Greed Sense: Prioritizes attacking the richest foe in the party.
+| First Strike Frenzy (Passive): The first attack after surfacing gains +25% Critical chance and deals an extra +20 damage.
>> UNIQUE LOOT:
+| Drill Fang Shard (Rare Dagger): A shard of Griznack’s drill arm, reforged into a jagged blade. Deals +15% damage against armored enemies.
+| Vault-Bound Shoulderguard (Rare Armor): A coin-patched goblin shoulder plate. Grants +6% Physical Resistance and reduces knockback effects.
+| Gold-Grafted Molar (Rare Trinket): One of Griznack’s melted coin teeth. Grants +2 Luck, with a 3% chance to generate 1 bonus coin after killing an enemy.
+| Charm of the Deep Hoard (Summoner Trinket): A crudely etched coin talisman. Summoned allies gain +5% damage against enemies under any Damage over Time effect. Once per encounter, sacrificing 5% of current gold restores 15% health to all summons.
The huge brute looked left and right, his golden grin looking more like a grimace as he bellowed in a mechanical voice that was chased by the hissing of steam and the clank of crashing pistons. It was clear that the vehicle was supposed to raise him up higher and provide some suitably elaborate exit onto the ground, but something was wrong.
“Mucking platform is stuck, ya gobby gobs!”
Half a dozen goblin heads appeared surrounding the huge figure. In contrast to the appearance of the other Burrowers, these looked more like engineers or mechanics, with various tools hanging from their belts and helmets with magnifying glasses and torches on top. They buzzed about the various mechanical components inside the vehicle surrounding their great leader as he shook his head and looked on in disgust.
“Fix it now, ya mucking fips! FIX IT!”
The vehicle shuddered and Griznack stumbled half a step forward, roaring in rage at the indignity of his marred entrance.
“Mucking fools and gobby gobs, the lot o’ ya!” he bellowed, stepping down off the drill vehicle without waiting for whatever elaborate disembarkation was supposed to occur. “Get it fixed while I snaffle me up some coins and kill me some fluffy fluffs!”
The mechanics nodded and bowed, squeaking and squawking their obedience as they started attacking the unseen mechanisms inside the drill vehicle with hammers and wrenches.
“I am here!” Griznack declared, pointing his large drill arm towards Pete in a way that made him suspect that perhaps the miniboss could see through his stealth. “And I am coming for you, mucky muck!”