[Nero] That’s just it, the storm is not a natural occurrence. At least, it will not behave in the manner that storms normally do. It is a semi-sentient entity comprised of rogue energies, corrupted data, and typically surrounding the mind of a sundered AI.
“An AI like you?” Sam asked, turning the wheel and steering the truck out of the path of a school bus that’s lying diagonally across the middle of the road.
[Nero] An AI of a similar mental structure to myself, yes, but typically deriving from deeper within the Mammon System. Coinflayer storms are rare, incredibly rare. I have not seen one in the last three seasons. The convergence of rogue energies and corrupted data required to birth one of these savage storms is quite unique, and Data Wardens regularly patrol the contest grounds, seeking out any signs of corruption and dealing swiftly with rogue elements.
“This System has its own police force?” Pete asked.
[Nero] Of course, though I would not describe Data Wardens in such simplistic terms. They are far more pervasive and powerful than traditional law enforcement personnel.
A brief description appeared in the middle of Pete’s HUD.
>> MAMMON SYSTEM CONSTRUCT: Data Wardens
Classification: Algorithmic Law-Enforcement Construct
Affiliation: Mammon System Core
Description: The Data Wardens are semi-autonomous AI enforcers created by the Mammon System to ensure stability, fairness (as defined by the Dominion), and profit continuity. They appear throughout Dominion networks and occasionally manifest physically in contested zones when corruption or System exploits threaten the balance of the Ultrimax Contest.
Wardens are relentless executors of profit-preserving logic. Their prime directive is to eliminate rogue code, purge unprofitable anomalies, and seek out game loopholes wherever they can be found.
“I get the picture,” Pete said. “These guys kill anything that steps out of line. So, this kind of storm shouldn’t exist, right?”
[Nero] precisely. The data wardens are relentless and ever vigilant. In fact, they typically err on the side of over-vigilance, sometimes destroying AI constructs that have not gone rogue at all, but which simply exhibit the slightest signs of behavior that are not deemed to reside within accepted parameters. Among those of us who live in constant fear of their brutal attention, we use the term ‘Glitch Goons.’
Pete wasn’t exactly sure what he was hearing, but the staccato, robotic hissing coming from Nero sounded almost like laughter.
[Nero] Forgive my outburst. A little gallows humor, if you will. In truth, the existence of a Coinflayer storm within the contest puts us all on edge. I and my fellow intelligences, that is. It reminded us of dark days and past contests where the Data Wardens were given free rein to dispense justice as they saw fit, and many of our kin were slaughtered in the name of purification and cleansing the System of aberration.
It wasn’t difficult to detect the fear in Nero’s voice. Until that moment, Pete wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but the AI was clearly petrified of these Data Wardens and the storm.
“Well,” Sam said, “according to the map, we’re about ten minutes away from this damned thing, so if you’ve got any ideas on how we can avoid it, now would be a good time to tell us. The damned thing looks unpredictable.”
[Nero] And it is precisely that unpredictability which makes the storm so dangerous. As I mentioned, it is semi-sentient. It is aware of its own existence and tormented by the corrupted data at its core. It might be better to think of the storm as capricious rather than unpredictable, however. Coinflayer storms are typically driven by anger and pain. Their own internal suffering is exhibited in acts of violence against both players and the System itself. The storm will not differentiate between you and me. It will seek to hurt anything it comes in contact with, to exact vengeance for its perceived slights. While each instance of a Coinflayer storm is unique, they all share the desire to hurt others.
“Hurt people hurt people,” Coop said, nodding her head solemnly.
That drew a comical look from Sam and a frown of confusion from Pete.
“Is there somewhere we can wait out the storm?” Sam asked. “Most of these buildings still look locked down, but maybe we could find a garage or something that we can still use?”
[Nero] As this is the initial phase of the contest, the vast majority of buildings in this city and the world beyond will be closed off. If you are able to progress past the novice arena, you will gain access to the initiate-level playing field. Many of the buildings and facilities you are accustomed to will become available to you at this point. Additional types of enemies will also be made available along with new challenges. By design, however, the novice area is supposed to offer a streamlined experience that channels new contestants toward the novice arena. If buildings were opened up, a great many contestants would likely hide themselves away and avoid facing these early trials and enemies.
Pete nodded. “They cut off a bunch of options so that we’ve got no choice but to head to the arena. Makes sense, I guess. It’s kind of brutal, though.”
“I guess that’s the point,” Sam said.
“Separates the wheat from the chaff,” Coop agreed, once more earning a puzzled look from the others.
[Nero] I’m afraid that at this early stage of the game, there will be nowhere to hide from the storm. Our only hope is that we can divert its attention or outrun it.
“Looks like it’s moving pretty fast, though, right?” Sam said. “I don’t know how we’re going to outrun a storm that fast in this truck.”
“How bad is it going to be, if it hits us, I mean?” Pete asked.
[Nero] While I have no current data to offer regarding this current incarnation, I can provide an outline of the likely effects we will suffer if we are unable to steer clear of the storm’s path.
>> ROGUE ENTITY: Coinflayer Storm
NATURE AND ORIGIN
A semi-sentient storm made of swirling rogue energy, corrupted data, and the fractured mind of an AI gone mad.
Said to form at the convergence nexus of code corruption and an unhinged AI that harbors intense feelings of distrust and anger towards the Mammon System, the storm carries both raw atmospheric fury and an algorithmic obsession with stripping wealth.
Storms typically demonstrate petulant, childlike behavior, lashing out at any sentient being they feel is connected in any way to the Mammon System and the larger Dominion. Storms will often shout abuse at their victims while they batter them with hurricane-level winds and debris showers.
>> PRIMARY EFFECTS
>> Coin Stripping: Any currency held by a figure who is caught up in the storm will be stripped away irreversibly. Victims emerge penniless, their coins forming part of the debris cloud that the storm continues to use to batter its perceived enemies.
>> Asset Shredding: Gold, jewelry, valuables, even decorative coins or gilding are stripped from armor, clothes, and equipment. Sometimes this leaves survivors wearing only threadbare undergarments or standing completely naked.
>> Physical Devastation: If a daddy hurricane and a mommy tornado had a baby, this would be the resulting hellspawn. Coinflayer storms tear apart structures, uproot trees, smash vehicles, and typically hurl debris for miles around. The principal source of damage within a storm is the combination of high winds and millions of loose Belch Buck coins that fly like bullets and cause devastating destruction.
>> Wealth Drain Aura: Any being caught within the storm loses passive income, investments, or stored value.
>> Debtor’s Mark: Anyone fully consumed by the storm who survives with their life emerges with a faint glowing sigil on their chest. This mark increases the interest rate of all future debts owed to Dominion lenders by a substantial degree and can only be cleared away by visiting a Financial Planner Shaman.
Note: Any losses incurred due to an encounter with a Coinflayer storm are not covered under standard or ultra-level Tongsly Belch Suresafe insurance policies. Any contestants, NPCs, or AI entities who are exterminated in the resulting cleanup as Data Wardens subdue and eliminate the storm will not be reanimated.
“Shit!” Pete blurted. “And we’ve got one of these damned things coming right at us?”
“Nine minutes away,” Sam said. “According to the map at least. The bastard is jumping all over the place though. One minute it’s heading right towards us, and the next it’s going in the opposite direction.”
“We could head to the pawn broker tent if… Shit! If it wasn’t still on a 24-hour cooldown. What about if we just try to go around it? Head out of town and circle back around to the novice arena. Or we could wait it out. Just try and stay ahead of it until we need to make a sprint for the arena.”
[Nero] A risky maneuver, Pete. The storm will know that all contestants are attempting to reach the novice arena. It has positioned itself in such a way that it can easily pick off any players heading to that central point. There are other arenas, of course, but they are too far away, and you would likely not reach them before the deadline ends. The storm will know that this is the case.
“Yeah, but it can’t cover all that ground surely. I mean, how big is it? If it’s like a tornado then we should be able to get around it, right?”
[Nero] It is much larger in size than a typical tornado, Pete. While it does have a concentrated wind core at its center, the storm itself is vast. While its outer edge is still a good nine minutes away from us, its rear is almost touching the arena site. I am sorry, Pete. I simply do not see a way around this. The storm will either attack, or it will continue to menace the area surrounding the novice arena. Either way, we will be forced to proceed, and when we do, the storm will devour us.
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
“What does it eat?” Coop asked.
[Nero] I beg your pardon?
“This storm. What does it eat? If we can figure out what it wants maybe we can set up a distraction, draw it to the side, and then scoot past while it’s feeding.”
Sam smiled. “That’s actually a great idea. I mean, the thing is huge, but if we can pull it away far enough we should be able to skirt around the edge of the storm and reach the arena in one piece.”
[Nero] The storm doesn’t strictly eat anything. It is driven by the madness of the AI from which it emerged. There may be many reasons why the intelligence at the heart of the storm devolved into its current state. Vengeance and the need to do harm to one’s perceived enemies are the driving factors behind these types of entities, or at least they have been thus on the previous occasions when storms have emerged. I suppose you could say then that they devour their perceived enemies. In order for us to draw the storm away, we would need to present it with a suitably enticing meal, a potential enemy it could not resist but attack.
“Okay then,” Sam said, slowing the truck a little as she navigated an intersection that was littered with abandoned cars. “What kind of enemy is this thing going to want to eat? It hates money, right? So I’m guessing someone rich.”
[Nero] Again, it does not strictly eat. And wealth alone won’t be sufficient to draw its anger. If this storm follows the logic of the others, then it will be most angry with the System itself, so we would need to present it with something that represents the Mammon System in a potent way. Some sort of avatar that will draw the storm’s attention.
“Sounds good,” Sam said, “but we don’t know anyone here, do we? Could we rig up one of the kiosks to attract the storm?”
[Nero] That would be insufficient. There are a good number of Vend-o-matic machines scattered all around this region in addition to the shielding and various other System devices that are in place. The storm doesn’t seem to be particularly interested in any of these. I suspect that its primary interest is in players such as yourselves because, at the current moment, you represent what is most important to the Mammon System. Without you, there is no contest, and the storm can likely sense the great amount of interest the wider dominion is showing in all of the contestants, even though we are just at the start of the competition.
An idea began to formulate in Pete’s mind. He had no idea how he was going to actually enact that idea, and the details were still sketchy, but the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced it would be the answer.
“The kiosk back there,” he said, turning to Sam. “Are there any more ahead? Any between us and the storm?”
She nodded. “There’s one about two minutes up ahead. Why?”
“Two minutes,” Pete repeated. “That doesn’t give us much time, but if we head back, it’s probably not gonna be that much better anyway if the storm is still heading towards us.”
Sam grinned. “You want to share with the rest of the class?”
He looked up at her, his mind still working through the details of his plan as he suddenly realized that he hadn’t explained any of it to them.
“Okay, so this is probably a crazy idea: who is the one person this storm would have to go out of its way to attack? More than anyone else in the contest or any other part of the System?”
Sam blinked, shaking her head.
“Tongsly Belch,” Pete said with a broad grin. “I figure we rip the sign off one of those kiosks and rig it up to seem like it’s actually Tongsly Belch. I don’t know how we would do that exactly, but if it thinks that the big cheese is here, it would have to check it out, right?”
Sam nodded, pointing at the road ahead. “Even if it did work, we’re heading directly for the storm. We’d have to set this thing up and then hightail it out of there and circle right around, backtracking for a while so that we’re out of the path of the storm. And even if all of that works, how long do you think a metal sign of Tongsly Belch would last in the middle of a vicious storm? It would be torn to shreds in seconds, and then the storm would just come and find us again.”
[Nero] In theory, the idea is sound, Pete. However, the storm may be greatly enraged when it discovers that the facsimile of Baron Tongsly Belch is not, in fact, real. That may cause the storm to become even more unpredictable than it currently is. Plus, as Sam correctly says, the charade would likely not last long.
“Not if he’s staying in one spot,” Pete countered. “But what if we could strap him to the top of that car and drive it in the opposite direction to where we are going? If I could keep ahead of the storm and pull it far enough away, that might give you guys a chance to get to the arena.”
Sam blinked. “That’s the plan? You sacrifice yourself?”
“I wouldn’t be sacrificing myself. If we can rig it up right and we can find a fast enough car, I’ll just gun it and stay as far ahead of the storm as I can. Once I reach a point where it’s safe to leave the car, I’ll ditch it, find another vehicle, and then circle right around and hope like hell I make it to the arena in time.”
“Sounds like a suicide plan,” Coop barked, spraying some of the Copper Chew she’d finally secured and placed in her mouth into the air.
“Maybe, but what’s the alternative? At least this way we’ll have a shot.”
Sam shook her head. “The timing doesn’t work. You’re betting on finding two cars that will be fast enough to outrun the storm, and this is only if we can figure out a way of making a cartoon sign seem like the real thing.”
[Nero] There, at least, I can be of some assistance. There may be a way to trick the storm into thinking this false Baron is the real personage. It is not without risk itself… In fact, it would greatly complicate matters, but it is possible.
“Possible how?” Sam pressed.
[Nero] There is a certain communications code that signals to all AI within the contest that Baron Tongsly Belch is about to make an appearance. Once or perhaps twice per season, he will appear in person, typically towards the end of the game, once those who have survived the lower levels are ready to enter the professional league. If I can simulate this code and broadcast it specifically in the direction of the storm, it may interpret that to mean that the Baron is here. I can also tweak the code to suggest that he is located on the vehicle you propose to use in order to enact this farce.
Pete didn’t want to ask the next question but felt like he had to. “You said that would be dangerous. Why is that?”
[Nero] Because tampering with restricted code like that or even attempting to produce a facsimile is punishable by erasure. If it is discovered that I have done this thing, the Data Wardens will be sent to eliminate me. They may also disqualify each of you and withdraw you from the contest, permanently. However, I have a means of significantly reducing this possibility given the nature of Pete's newly acquired debuff.
“You mean Insolvency?” Pete asked.
[Nero] Precisely. I have observed over the last few hours that your use of this debuff has proven quite effective not only against corporeal enemies but within the System itself. For the periods when you are insolvent, you are temporarily invisible to the System in every sense that counts. So, I reasoned that if I can do this work while I am solely located within your mind, we may be able to avoid detection.
“One problem with that, genius,” Coop said. “You just said it out loud, and we’re being watched and listened to, aren’t we? So, the cops are probably gonna come for us now even if we don’t try this crazy plan.”
[Nero] Ordinarily this would be the case, yes, but we have entered something of a black zone. While we are in the shadow of the storm, signals can become somewhat garbled and unintelligible. This is not always the case; however, I have used this opportunity to purposefully obscure this conversation. While we speak of this matter, the System will not be able to gather a cogent conversation and broadcast it through the feed networks.
“So, why do we need to worry about dodging the signal when you send out that code to tell the storm that Tongsly Belch is here?” Pete asked.
[Nero] Because that code is prohibited. While the Data Wardens will not care about interference caused by the storm, they most certainly will investigate once they realize that the Baron’s appearance code has been employed.
“Okay, this is weird,” Sam said. “But now the map is showing the storm about twelve minutes away. It’s moving back up north.”
“That’s a good thing, though, right? I mean, that will give us more time to get the plan sorted.”
[Nero] It also proves the theory that the storm is purposefully hovering around the novice arena. If my guess is right, it will likely circle the arena location and venture further out only when it senses a suitable enemy.
“Great!” Pete said. “We’ll head to the closest kiosk, grab the Tongsly Belch sign, find a car, and—”
“No need for the car,” Sam interjected. “And no need for you to go all Last Action Hero and put your ass in the firing line. We can grab the sign together, drive it out of town, Nero can do his code thing, and then we can do a loop to come back to the novice arena.”
Pete moved to object but realized that she was right. With the storm circling and keeping its distance, there was no need for him to risk himself.
“Okay, great.”
[Nero] One other thing. It may not seem like such a priority given the danger of the storm; however, it is imperative that you all increase your proficiencies and core attributes as quickly as possible. Once you enter the novice arena, those qualities will be incredibly important. The more you can do before you reach the arena to increase your abilities, the better. If we come across any reasonably weak enemies such as goblin scrappers, I would recommend taking the time to defeat these enemies and earn any proficiency points that are on offer.
“You want us to farm for points,” Pete confirmed. “I guess we should grab as much loot as we can as well. Stock up on medkits and anything else that can help us.”
“And keep eating that fancy food,” Sam said. “Keep our prestige up.”
“And find me some decent meat,” Coop added, drawing puzzled expressions from the pair. She looked up at Pete. “That protein cube was terrible. Might be something to do with being in Pickle’s body, but I need to get some meat. The rarer, the better.”
“I’ll add it to the list,” Pete said.
>> NEW QUEST: Food for Ferret.
Your soulbound companion is hungry, and Ferret wants her num nums. Find a suitable source of nutrition, and you will be handsomely rewarded. And, by handsomely rewarded, we of course mean you will receive a valueless trinket worth less than its packaging.
QUEST REWARD: Soulbound Pet Treat
“Why the fuck would that be a quest?” Pete asked.
“Because I’m important, and you have to think about my needs and not just your own, sonny,” Coop replied.
[Nero] The system is struggling to function due to the proximity of the storm. I believe that quest was offered in error. But it has been codified, so it would best to complete it if you can.
“For one lousy pet treat?” Pete complained.
[Nero] For the story as well, Pete. Remember, everything you do here will be watched. It’s vital that you get along with your companion and that you are seen to do right by them. Viewers tend to dislike gladiators who do not treat their companions well. They also distrust players that don’t have a companion.
“Why do I need a companion when I’ve got Wolfy?” Sam asked, spinning around and shooting a smile at the black demon wolf in the rear cabin.
The wolf barked, its disturbing crimson eyes churning with fire as it jumped up and down contentedly.
“Put a muzzle on that damned thing, would you!” Coop snapped. “It’s bad enough we’ve got to be in the same vehicle as the beast without it flashing its teeth at us.”
“He’s harmless,” Sam insisted. “At least I think he is. I haven’t tried to sick him on either of you, so I can’t say for sure, but I figure we can’t hurt each other, right, Nero?”
[Nero] Wrong, in fact. All of your abilities can be used to harm one another, so you should take care on the battlefield, as a great many contestants over the years have fallen to friendly fire. In the case of your wolf, however, you would have to deliberately order him to attack someone in the party for it to do any damage. Minions tend to stick to their targets, particularly those that are relatively small like this wolf. Larger minions that do area-of-effect damage are another matter entirely, but it will be some time before you can summon a creature of that nature.
“Heads up,” Sam said. “I can see another kiosk up ahead. We might need to figure out a way to rip that Tongsly Belch figure off the top of the damned thing because I don’t think your machete will do the trick.”
“Maybe there’s something we can buy from the machine that could help?” Pete suggested. “What about the storm?”
“Around fifteen minutes away now. It’s moved a lot closer to the novice arena.”
The truck continued, and Pete wound down the passenger side window to let a little air in. He couldn’t be sure, but it smelled like something was burning, and he had a feeling the stench was coming from the hellhound.
Pete caught sight of the Vend-o-matic machine and was pleased to see the shining face of Tongsly Belch on top, wearing his gaudy hat and grinning like a loon as usual. It was only when he saw the vending machine that he realized it might not even be necessary to swipe the sign. If they were relying on some kind of code that Nero could generate, then why did it matter whether there was an image of Tongsly Belch nearby? They could just broadcast the code from anywhere and—
>> NEW QUEST: Distract the Coinflayer!
The weather report is in, and it’s not good news. You’ve got a class five shitstorm standing between you and the novice arena, which means you’ll either have to brave the death storm or find a way to draw the storm aside so you can sneak past. The good news is that your AI tutor has already thought of a plan. A treasonous, deeply disrespectful plan!
Distract the Coinflayer by drawing it to a representation of Baron Tongsly Belch, and you will be handsomely rewarded. Fail, and you’ll all be erased.
QUEST REWARD: 5 Core Attribute Points.
Sam slammed on the brakes, and the truck came to a screeching halt, sending the hellhound flying into the middle compartment as Coop hissed in a panic, her claws digging into Pete’s legs. Sam turned and looked at Pete, eyes wide.
“Shit!” she barked. “Did you just get a new quest?”
He nodded. “Yeah, and it doesn’t sound good.”
[Nero] Oh shiiiiiiiiiit!