For the first time all day, nobody was screaming. Even Viscount Pigglesworth had run out of breath after complaining about the lack of paved roads. He was now just whimpering softly every time he stepped in a puddle.
Kai walked in the middle, rubbing his chin. He looked troubled.
"My Lord," Gideon said softly, breaking the silence. "You seem... burdened. Is it the debt?"
"It's the wording," Kai muttered. He stopped and looked at the knight. "Grom said the previous adventurers were 'deleted'. He didn't say 'slain' or 'eaten'. He said 'deleted'."
"Is that not just Orcish slang for death?" Gideon asked.
"In my world, no," Kai said darkly. "In my world, 'deleted' means you don't leave a corpse. You just cease to exist. And he called the monsters 'Bugs'. To a developer, a 'Bug' isn't an insect. It's a mistake in reality."
"You fear this mine is... broken?"
"I fear it's corrupted," Kai admitted. "Back home, I was a Network Engineer. I fixed broken worlds. If Grom is right, this mine isn't just dangerous. It's unstable. And if we step on a broken part of the world, we won't just die. We might get erased."
Gideon placed a heavy, gauntleted hand on Kai’s shoulder.
"Then we shall tread lightly," Gideon said simply. "A knight protects the path, no matter how treacherous."
"I say!" The Viscount stopped dead in front of them. He pointed his teacup at the dark, jagged entrance of the mine ahead. "You cannot be serious. This is the Embassy? It looks like a hole in the ground."
Kai froze. He had to keep the Viscount moving.
"It’s... the underground annex," Kai lied smoothly. "Very exclusive. The Manager prefers the acoustics down there. Earthy tones."
Pigglesworth peered into the dark. "It smells of damp. And poverty. Fine. But if I get mud on this sash, I am suing the kingdom."
The entrance to the Northern Mines confirmed Kai's worst fears.
To a normal person, it might have looked like a dark tunnel. But to Kai, it was nauseating. The rocks surrounding the cave mouth weren't grey. They were a bright, violent, neon-pink and black checkerboard pattern.
"Missing textures," Kai whispered, feeling bile rise in his throat. "I was right. Grom wasn't using metaphors."
"Who painted the rocks pink?" Pigglesworth sniffed. "Tacky. Absolutely tacky."
"It’s not paint," Kai warned, holding his arm out to stop them. "Gideon, Viscount—do not touch the pink rocks. That is the corruption I told you about. The world forgot to paint those rocks. If you touch them, you might fall through the earth forever."
Pigglesworth recoiled, clutching his teacup. "Ghastly safety standards. I shall mention this in my review."
They stepped carefully across the boundary. As soon as they entered, the ambient sound—the wind, the crickets—cut out. Absolute, digital silence.
Skitter. Skitter.
That sound, however, was very real.
"Movement," Gideon hissed, dropping into a combat stance. "Twelve o'clock."
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Out of the darkness, something lunged. It was large, hairy, and chittering. A Cave Spider the size of a minivan.
The Viscount shrieked. "Good heavens! Is that the receptionist?!"
The spider hissed and lunged straight for Pigglesworth, sensing the easiest prey.
"Protect the civilian!" Gideon roared.
He didn't know the Viscount. He didn't like the Viscount. But Gideon was a Knight, and his code was hard-coded deeper than any glitch: The strong protect the weak.
Gideon stepped in front of the cowering nobleman and swung the Glazed Gourd in a mighty overhead arc.
WHOOSH.
The pumpkin passed straight through the spider's head as if it were smoke.
"What?" Gideon stumbled, off-balance. "I struck true!"
The spider didn't react. It froze for a split second, completely motionless, and then—BAM.
It teleported.
One frame, it was in front of Gideon. The next frame, it was three feet to the left, and Gideon was flying backward, his armor dented by an invisible blow.
"It is a phantom!" Gideon shouted, scrambling to his feet. "My blows strike nothing but air, yet its claws are iron!"
"It's Lag!" Kai yelled. "Gideon, it's desynced! The spider isn't where your eyes see it!"
"How do I fight a ghost?" Gideon swung again, missing as the spider rubber-banded backward.
"You can't trust your eyes!" Kai realized. "You have to hit where it will be, not where it is!"
"I am a Knight, not a Soothsayer!" Gideon took another hit, sliding across the stone floor.
Kai’s mind raced. Gideon couldn't predict the server lag. Kai needed to stop the enemy's movement entirely. He needed to force the server to update the position.
He raised his hand. "System! Cast Flash!"
He wanted a burst of light to stun it.
[Voice Command Recognized] [Processing: "Flesh"]
SPLAT.
There was a wet, heavy sound.
A twenty-pound side of beef fell from the cavern ceiling. It hit the stone floor with a sickening slap, right between the spider and the screaming Viscount.
The spider froze. Its multiple eyes twitched.
The AI for the spider was simple: Attack Player. But the AI for a "Hungry Beast" had a higher priority override: Consume Food.
The spider’s head snapped toward the raw meat. It lunged at the steak, ignoring the humans.
"Now!" Kai screamed. "It stopped moving! The lag is syncing! Hit it while it eats!"
Gideon didn't hesitate. He didn't ask why a steak had fallen from heaven. He saw a solid target, and he took it.
"HAVE AT THEE!"
CRUNCH.
This time, the hit connected. The sugar-hardened shell slammed into the spider’s carapace with the weight of a sledgehammer. The spider screeched as it was flattened into the cave floor, twitching once before dissolving into pixels.
Silence returned to the cave.
"By the Gods," Gideon panted, leaning on his weapon. "That beast... it moved like a flicker in a candle flame."
"It was a Lag Spider," Kai wiped sweat from his forehead. "A creature that exists between seconds. Nasty business."
Ding.
A blue box appeared in front of Kai.
[Combat Resolved] [Experience Threshold Exceeded] [Calculating Level Up...]
The box flickered. The text garbled.
[Error: Integer Overflow in XP_Pool] [Result: NaN]
[Congratulations! You have reached Level NaN (Not a Number)!]
[Stat Points Awarded: 1]
Kai stared at his status screen. Strength: [Locked] Intelligence: [Locked] Agility: [Locked] Opacity: 100% Luck: 0 (+1 Available)
"Great," Kai sighed. "I broke the math."
He tapped the Luck stat. It was the only one that wasn't greyed out.
[Luck increased to 1.]
"Is the Manager dead?" Pigglesworth asked, poking the dead spider's dissolved remains with his shoe. "Because if that was him, the service here is even worse than I thought."
"That was just the doorman," Kai said, staring deeper into the cave where the walls were still flickering pink and black. "The Manager is downstairs. And I think he's crashing the whole system."