“Hold right there!” yelled two elves, stepping out from behind a tree and training very elvish-looking bows square at my pale face. “Menter pellmae, ves pala.”

  Huh?

  ‘Ephe? A little help, please.’

  [Understood.]

  [Passive Ability Free Slots: 2.]

  [Crafting.]

  [Initialized.]

  [...]

  [Succesful.]

  [New Passive Ability: Language - Elvish]

  Brilliant. Now we can swear at each other’s mothers in languages we both understand.

  “Let’s not be rash,” I said, raising my hands. “Could you repeat that?”

  “State your name, pale one,” the taller of the two elves demanded.

  “Of course,” I sighed. “But forgive me a moment.”

  I turned, ignoring the elf’s words, and glared at the two dog-chewers peeking from behind a nearby trunk. Whatever their reason for hiding, I didn’t care.

  “Come out, little bastards, before I make your insides look like paste.” I smiled like it was the friendliest invitation.

  “Y-your Grace-” Enna moved instantly, stepping forward and revealing herself to the elves.

  “And weren’t you their friend? Why hide?” I asked, frowning at Stevin.

  “Well, I didn’t leave this place on the best of terms,” Stevin mumbled.

  “You tell me now? After we climbed down and walked in their direction for hours to find them, when we could’ve listened to Enna and headed straight to Ashtara?” I snapped.

  “Told you, Your Grace, this fool is too cunning,” Enna shrugged, her lower lip still bruised from the earlier altercation between her and Stevin. “But since when can Your Grace speak elvish without meeting an elf?”

  “Dear sirs,” I said to the elves, putting on my most pleasant smile while also ignoring Enna’s question. “We came at the request of one of your friends. Shoot that tree, see if I’m right.”

  The elves obliged, loosing two arrows that thudded into the tree’s bark and made Stevin jump back in an instant.

  “Your Grace!” he yelled, indignant, before tripping on the root of a tree and falling to the ground with a loud thud.

  Dumbass.

  “Wait,” Stevin raised his arms, panic flashing in his eyes, “We can talk about this!”

  We did not talk about it.

  Nor did we fight when they tied our hands and began dragging us toward their village.

  “Your Grace,” Enna whispered behind me. “I have never seen a person stronger than you. Why allow yourself to be tied?”

  What was this woman talking about? The strongest person she’d ever seen? The poor lass must be going blind.

  “The little bastard said they were friends,” I muttered instead. “I expect we won’t be tied for long. Once we get to the village and people recognize him-”

  “Silence, pale one,” the smaller elf interrupted, now walking beside me. “But tell me again, what was your name?”

  So… should I stay silent or not?

  “Elio.”

  “Elio,” he repeated slowly, his accent rolling the vowels over his tongue, before looking me in my red eyes. “Earlier, the flaming woman said some interesting things.”

  “Did she?” I asked, tilting my head.

  He stepped closer, studying me closely. “Why can you speak Elvish? And… why do you look like that?”

  It’s decided. I hate elves.

  What does this pointy-eared brother think I can tell him?

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  “Poor genetics,” I said with a shrug. “Not the greatest luck there.”

  He chuckled quietly before pressing the real question. “And Elvish?”

  “Got some nice books back home,” I groaned, the knot around my wrists cutting off circulation and numbing my fingers. “Picked it up pretty quickly.”

  “Is that so?” the elf murmured, one eyebrow arching in clear curiosity. “You are a smart… human, then.”

  Oh wow…

  Perhaps the elves weren’t so bad after all.

  The elf village lay hidden deep within the forest.

  Ever since we’d climbed down from the colossal-tree woods into this more ordinary forest, everything had changed. The abundance here was almost absurd: mushrooms, berry bushes, small critters, wild edible plants. Life everywhere you looked.

  Even the lake I’d seen earlier from above teemed with fish, its quiet shores lined with tall reeds and what looked like wild sugarcane.

  This place had everything one could possibly need to survive, all of it free for the taking. Nature’s generosity without a price tag.

  So it was no wonder the elves had chosen this place as their home, building a large village in the sanctum of the forest’s heart.

  The way Stevin the dumbass said it made it seem like this was some poor village, barely lived in by a few dozen people. Bullshit.

  A tall wooden fence surrounded the large settlement, reinforced by massive timber pillars sunk deep into the ground, stabilizing the entire structure, only to be further strengthened by some form of vine-type magic as green, thorn-filled plants coiled around every inch of the wall, keeping anything but the wind away from this place.

  Beyond the open gates, carved from heavy hardwood, rows of small, beautifully made earthen houses and wooden cabins stretched inward, leading to a great mansion barely visible at that distance as it was nestled among towering trees at the village’s core.

  The way I said it might’ve sounded like some poor man’s attempt at a house. But no.

  Each home was a work of art, luxurious in craft, every detail so precise it could’ve put my ancestors’ finest architecture to shame back on Earth.

  Flowers adorned the windows and balconies, while carvings etched into the walls told stories of nature, of battle, of gods. Art.

  The path beneath our feet was lined with smooth stones, turning what should’ve been damp forest soil into a proper road.

  If not for the suspicious looks I got from passing elves, the confused glances they gave Enna, and the sheer disgust they reserved for Stevin, I might’ve almost called this place beautiful.

  Almost.

  “Momma, look! A vampire!” cried one of the elven children, pointing straight at me as he drifted past on what looked suspiciously like a tiny whirlwind.

  “Air-bender brat,” I muttered, glaring after the little bastard until his mother hurried him away.

  “Your Grace…” Enna sighed. “You’re not helping.”

  “An eye for an eye, an insult for an insult,” I replied wisely. “But that’s not the problem. The problem is whatever Stevin actually did to these people. They look like they want to skin him alive.”

  “That too,” said the smaller elf beside me, clearly amused by my earlier name-calling. “Tell me, why does the woman address you as if you’re some sort of royalty?”

  Enna smirked, puffing her chest with pride. “Because His Grace is a King-”

  “She’s just been punched in the head one too many times,” I cut in quickly, drawing the elf’s attention back to me. “What kind of King lets himself be tied up like a beast?”

  “A foolish one,” the elf said with a laugh.

  “E-exactly,” I stammered, glaring at Enna, who mouthed a sheepish 'I’m sorry'. Whatever lecture I was planning to give her later died right there.

  “Either way,” the guard said, exhaling the last of his laughter. “Since we know you’re not a threat, once we reach the Chief’s house, we’ll release you. Then you can talk about whatever business brought you here.”

  “Thank you,” I nodded, before hesitating. The earlier question had been itching at my brain for a while. “Out of curiosity… what did my friend here do to earn such animosity from your people?”

  “He didn’t tell you?” the elf asked, raising a brow.

  I shook my head. “All he said was that he stayed here for a while, offering his magic while your people cared for him.”

  “Ah,” the elf said, smirking. “So he didn’t mention the lack of work he did, the amount of food he ate, or how many hours he spent just standing around… watching women?”

  With each addition, I realized that perhaps being eaten by the godlike creature wasn’t such a bad fate for Stevin after all.

  “The what now?” I blinked, turning to look at Stevin. “So you were a creepy freeloader?”

  “I don’t know what that means,” the elf chuckled, eyeing Stevin’s reddened face. “But you’re probably right.”

  “Speak, you brown-haired bastard,” I said. “On the road, you seemed capable enough. What happened?”

  “A-a lot has changed since a month ago,” Stevin stuttered. “It took losing to the barbarians, being captured, and almost being eaten by that snake to realize it. Please, Your Grace… forgive me.”

  I sighed, shaking my head. “Make sure to ask forgiveness from the right people, Stevin. You haven’t wronged me.”

  “Yes, Your Grace,” he said, bowing deeply.

  The taller elf chuckled at the sight. “...Amusing bunch.”

  Pushing past the staring elves and reaching the mansion took longer than expected. From what Enna whispered to me, some sort of illusory magic cloaked the area, likely, from her surprising assessment, connected to the vine magic that surrounded the village.

  “As long as we don’t die,” I muttered.

  “Please,” she chuckled. “With Your Grace here, not even that snakebird could’ve done anything if it wanted to.”

  It was strange seeing her have so much faith in me. Whether it came from the vampire thing or from witnessing the Law of Separation, I couldn’t tell.

  All I knew was that this place wasn’t nearly as simple as it first seemed.

  That much became obvious once we stepped inside the mansion.

  The Chief sat before us, a handsome, young-looking elf, sharp-eyed and composed, surrounded by three gorgeous women on either side, all watching me with unsettling curiosity.

  “Well, look who’s back,” the Chief said, his tone filled with both amusement and judgment. “And with guests, even. What are you? A vampire?”

  …

  Of course, that would be his first question. Why wouldn’t it be?

  Damn this fucking place.

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