You know, life’s a weird thing. One moment you’re running it down mid cuz the one rando on your team told you to ‘kys’. Laughing with friends on call at the guy’s idiotic rage messages, like they would change anything. Next you're in a cage with a bunch of goblins. Oh, and you're a goblin too. Guess that’s life.

  I chuckled a bit to myself laying on the thin layer of straw we had for a bed. It was stupid, me replaying that thought. They were the last moments on Earth I remembered from the mangled scraps of memories left in my head. They made me feel a bit giddier than I ought to be. Maybe that was some kind of goblin thing or the real Dato’s memories found them really funny.

  It was something to take my mind off the fact that I’ve spent the last few months as a slave farming some kind of grain. The one thing that had pushed me forward was that I knew I’d be out of here soon.

  There were seven of us left in our little goblin gang. Technically we had a chance for freedom. All we had to do was evolve into a hobgoblin. But we were ‘past our prime’ and our village didn’t exactly believe we had a chance. If you’re a goblin here that doesn’t evolve or evolves into something other than a hob, you’re worth less than dirt. I wasn’t sure about the rest of them, but I knew for sure I wasn’t going to evolve into some stupid hob.

  I looked over at the rest of them. Bobo, Coco, and Fofo were sleeping huddled together. They were all from the same… litter? Guess that word sort of fits. I’ve taken to calling them the Os. Di and Fi didn’t like each other all too much, so they stayed on the opposite sides of the cage. I had my brother Bato trapped in here with me. Only our sister Gato had evolved into a hobgoblin. The rest of our litter either died from illness or wasting their breath trying to evolve.

  Strangely, I’ve grown rather fond of them all. Or maybe I always had. It didn’t take me too long to realize I became one of my DnD characters. One of the stupidest ones I had as well. I gained all of Dato’s memories when I took control of his body. I would’ve been dead meat if I didn’t have them. I freaked out when I first got here, got a beating that almost killed me and sort of let him run the body on autopilot for a while.

  Hell, if anything Dato’s memories might’ve been stronger than my own from Earth. Those were distant memories. For some dumbass reason I couldn’t even remember anyone’s name let alone my own.

  A little ways away there was a vacant spot from where a second cage used to sit. Those poor bastards must be shitting themselves. Not like I could blame them. I knew as well as they did what was about to happen tomorrow. They were all probably fucked, but me and my crew of goblins: we’re escaping.

  I woke up early the next morning, right before sunrise. Sleep was for the weak after all. I could hear the hobs outside going about their preparations. There was about to be a festival this evening after all. I snapped my fingers a few times to wake the others.

  “Rise and shine crew! We’ve got us our first job today and we got to do it right, else there won’t be a second,” I said with a toothy grin in goblinesse, which I somehow knew how to speak.

  Bato, Fi, and Di were already up but the Os were just now waking.

  “When’re we striking, boss?” Fi asked. She had a lot of hate in her and I didn’t blame her. Poor girl had her arm cut clean off at the elbow about a month ago after she spat at one of the hobs.

  “We wait until the fire gets started and the dancing begins. Bato’ll pull our picks then get to work on the shackles. Stay still and make it look like they’re still on. Don’t want them hobs catching on. You’ll know when it’s time to run. Grab what you can, don’t go dying like a dumbass though. If we get split, meet up down river,” I said, my fellow goblins enraptured by my bravado.

  Honestly, I didn’t know how many of them would make it out. All I knew was that we’re still in my character’s backstory and I survived this. Hopefully, I can tweak things a little for them. This prologue sucked, but now the real game begins.

  Two hobs came for us in the late afternoon. They gave us a weird look since we were all antsy to get started. They put on the shackles then led our little chain gang to the center of town. Most of the festivities centered around a handful of hobs. You knew who they were by the wreaths they wore. They were roughly between twelve and sixteen if I had to place them in human years. Those were the hobs that managed to evolve this past year. There were plenty of unshackled younger gobs waiting on the hobs like little servants. They weren’t like us since they were still young and had the potential to evolve into hobs.

  The little shitters were snickering at us, which really pissed me off. It was like they thought they were going to be better off than us. The hobs looked down on us gobs regardless (free or shackled), but the young goblins had it in their head that they could still be better than us if they evolved. Sure, some of them might be if their little script wasn’t about to be torn tonight. From Dato’s memories it was clear most’ve them would likely die trying. Most gobs did. Hell, it took months to get Os to believe that they should stop trying to evolve and start thinking about how to escape.

  A wooden pyre was set up in the town square. Our shackles were staked down to the ground a good bit away from it. We were an attraction, a reminder, for the free gobs, but not the main event. A small stage was built on one of the edges of the square. A little while after our shackles were set in place the village’s leader, Fyrdras, took the stage. She was special because she was bigger and buffer than the rest of the hobgoblins. Almost like an ogre or something. She wasn’t actually an ogre though. Fyrdras went the extra mile and had evolved from a hobgoblin into an iobhobgoblin which was why she led this village. Following Chief Fyrdras were the twelve wreath wearing hobs.

  “Friends,” Chief Fyrdras began, her loud deep voice echoing. She waited for the crowd to settle down. “We come together to celebrate the transcendence of these youths above the barbaric savagery of our lesser forms. For too long has our race been cursed by the weak blooded, those unable to rise above their base, monstrous, instincts. Yet, there’s hope for our future! It is through those that prove themselves, those who rise, those who evolve that we will be able to avoid extinction in a world that wants us dead. We stand in the last bastion of freedom for our kind. We must give our hearts and souls to Olzen!”

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  “To Olzen!” the crowd chanted in response. I nudged Bato. There was some rattling of chains as he began to get the picks out of his ass and started on his shackles. Meanwhile, another group of shackled goblins were paraded around the stage. They were the gobs born a year before us.

  “This is the blight that seeks to doom us.” Chief Fyrdras continued while Bato passed me the picks. “Tainted and cursed bloodlines unable to evolve. Too weak of body, mind, and will. Too cowardly to die honorably and nobly…” She continued to blab on and on in that annoying voice of hers. It gave us plenty of time to work on picking our locks.

  Speaking of which, I finished picking the locks on the manacales from behind my back and passed the picks on to Bobo. The months of practice were paying off.

  The recently evolved hobgoblins were given stones. While the other group of chained goblins were brought over to the pyre. The hobs between them moved out of the way to give them space. It was hard to get a view.

  I saw stones come rushing into the heads and bodies of the chained goblins. I wanted to turn my head, but couldn’t. I knew this was going to happen, but it was another thing seeing it. I could hear their pained cries followed by the cheers of the hobs. It didn’t matter though, I wasn’t wasting my breath on the previous cohort of goblins. My crew, my clan, they're what I’m saving my breath for. I’ll get them out damnit.

  Two of the gobs seemed to be hit with killing blows. The chief cast some spell and burst of flames shot out to the pyre. It ignited quickly. Fire and flame enveloping the goblins both living and dead. I knew what was going to happen. Dato had heard it plenty. Yet I still felt sick hearing the screams. Meanwhile, the two hobs that got the kill shots with their rocks were given their own round of applause.

  “Our creator god has been slain, it’s only through our strength, our lives, our ferocity, that their legacy lives on,” Chief Fyrdras finished the speech. The pyre goblins' screams were drowned out by the hobs' cheers. I looked down the line. Fofo was helping Fi pick the lock on her one arm like we planned. It was going smoothly.

  “I don’t know why we keep you filth around as long as we do. It’s too late for you to evolve anyways,” some stupid hob jeered at us. My tongue traced my sharp teeth. I bet I could’ve torn out his throat if I wanted to. He didn’t know I was free.

  I looked out over the hobs dancing around the pyre. Soon the cavalry would be here. I grinned. Sure I might’ve written a shitty backstory, it was supposed to be, at least I know how to get out of this because of it. All was going to plan and I’d get a few little goblin minions to boot!

  “Why do we even keep you around stubby? You’re kind’s barely worth the food we give you when you’re whole,” The hob continued. Moving closer to Fi. He pulled out a knife and started twirling it around. “Maybe, I’ll help balance you out.”

  I could feel stirring in the loose chains. It was too late to call out. Fofo jumped at the man stabbing him with a hidden stake he hid on him for our escape. The sharpened piece of wood bounced harmlessly off his skin. The hob thrust his knife, gutting Fofo. His corpse fell to the ground. I stared wide eyed. How had that spike done nothing? In a panic Di tried to run and the hob buried his knife in Di’s skull.

  “Scatter!” I yelled. Several more hobs started looking in this direction. It wasn’t meant to go like this. I could hear their yelling behind us, but I didn’t pay any mind to it. Bato and Fi stuck with me, I didn’t see where Bobo and Coco went. We knew a spot down the river from when we were allowed to hunt to help us evolve. If we could all meet there. If we could’ve just waited a bit longer.

  We scurried and dodged under carts and any smaller holes we could find. I could see a storehouse in the distance. A small hole had been burrowed by some smaller animals. I dove into the burrow, wanting to loot the place for what I could. We needed supplies if we were going to make it out after all. The burrow wasn’t quite big enough for me. I squirmed trying to keep pulling myself into the room.

  “See you down river boss,” Fi said, worriedly, “they’re getting close,” I could hear their footfalls running off and the mob of hobs coming closer. Bells rang out in the distance. I shimmied enough to get in the building. There were sacks of grains. I grabbed a small half-filled sack, probably couldn’t realistically carry much more. Off to the side there was also a broken sickle blade I snatched.

  The front door was locked from the outside. There was what looked to be a covered opening in the loft of the building. I bit into the bag to carry it up the ladder. There was a simple wooden bar keeping the shutters closed. I opened it and looked outside. The town’s buildings had thatch roofs, hopefully I could run on them.

  A strange buzzing cawing sound stole my attention to the sky, I could see a flock of flying things off in the distance. They were this strange freaky mix of eagle and beetle. Large dark wings with a hooked beak and beetle's horn with six insect-like legs dangling from a bird’s underbody and a shell on their backside.

  They looked nasty. I knew monsters were going to attack tonight but these things were a lot grosser than I expected. I waited and watched until they descended onto the town. One hob guard crossed his sword with the bird-bug’s horn. One was already flying up with a goblin held between its six hairy bug-like legs. The goblin wasn’t dead, but it didn’t care as it started eating it alive.

  With a running jump I leaped onto the thatched roof across from me. It seemed to hold my weight well enough so I ran along it. I drew out the broken sickle blade, it wasn’t much but it would do. I could hear a faint buzzing behind me. I turned to see one of those creatures coming at me. I dove to the side, sliding down the thatch roof and landing with a bit of a thud on the ground. There was a hob near me that took notice. She’d just slain one of those bug-birds with some kind of curved shortsword.

  “Filthy little thief!” The hob turned towards me. She looked like she was about to run over and gut me when the buzzing from above stole her attention. Hehe, I'll let those two problems deal with themselves. I kept running northward to the river.

  Turning a corner I came across an abandoned lantern someone must’ve left on the ground when they started fighting the bugs. I checked to see no one was following. I grabbed some twigs carefully, getting the flames to take hold on them. I separated out the oil and began dumping it on a wooden house. I moved the flame closer for it to take hold then continued running. I wanted to make sure I left this stupid village with a little parting gift.

  The village’s walls ended at the river bank. There was at least one other set of goblin tracks left in the mud of the river’s bank. It was hard to try and get through and around the wall. A wrong step meant it got deeper. I did my best to follow the tracks laid before me. I turned back to see my parting gift had taken hold. Flames leaped between buildings. What I was too dumb to realize when I began the fire was that it would bring a group of hobs to the river for water.

  One of them locked eyes with me. I tried scurrying quicker through the mud. I couldn’t get anywhere. The hob picked up a rock from the shoreline and flung it at me. “You ain’t getting away from me low-blood!” The hob called out, throwing the rock. The first rock missed, but he grabbed another. I moved deeper into the water figuring it would be quicker to float. A second rock smashed and splashed up mud. I turned around right in time to see a rock come up to meet me.