I made my way to the messhall, collecting myself and my serving of breakfast. The implications of the words I received were still brewing in my mind. It was early in the morning. The hall was rather full, though not packed. There weren’t any explicitly designated regions for different clergy members, however, people still sat in their self segregating clusters by the god or goddess they worshipped or were sponsored by. Having no reason to buck the trend, I made my way to where the followers of Corlyn were sitting. Fionn wasn’t there, but Sofia was sitting alone at the end of the long table with Clair not too far away.

  There was a fair berth of empty space among the benches around Sofia. It was a rather sad sight. I strolled towards her, giving Sofia a smile when she looked up. In response she hastily discarded her half eaten meal and left.

  “Oh, don’t worry about her,” Clair said. “She’s prickly. Best to keep a distance from her. Get too close and bother her and she’ll send some of her daddy’s folks to chase you off.”

  “A ripe piece of work if you ask me,” another older nun across the table piped in. “Ain’t like she’s got any real faith in Lady Corlyn.”

  “Oh, I see,” I mumbled just loud enough for them to hear.

  “You’re welcome to join us!” Clair slid over making room on the bench.

  “Thank you, though perhaps tomorrow? I have a lot on my mind I’d like to mull over.”

  “Hmm, you’re that bookish girl Sister Fionn’s sponsoring eh? Don’t think I’ve seen you around here much,” the older nun said, with a ring of judgement in her voice. “I’ve heard you’re learning Emyzer’s craft. Make sure your progress doesn’t stall, you hear? Show ‘em it’s not only the sons of Emyzer that can learn his craft.”

  “She’s getting the hang of it far quicker than most. Last night she showed me an untiered spell she figured out,” Clair said cheerfully.

  “Don’t worry, I fully intend to master wizardry,” I said with a forced smile, it wasn’t like failure was an option, not for me.

  I took the seat next to where Sofia left. I could still hear the two of them gossiping a bit and others joining in. Glancing at Sofia’s emptied seat, nasia began to grow. I know I shouldn't, but I wanted to tell her about the voice I heard, or really anyone. In all likelihood it was the same voice Sofia heard, but if I could just verify it. That would be stupid though. If anything the less people learn of my connection to the gods the better. Flaunting some divine revelation, even if it has been kept to a tight circle, had probably been a mistake. Though, without it I might be on the streets for all I knew.

  Regardless of that, it was in my best interest to be on Sofia’s good side. I don’t know why she left. Did she know about me? Do others in the church? Could this all be set up somehow? It couldn’t be right? She was probably just busy. I’ll try to talk with her tomorrow.

  ***

  I had a sour taste in my mouth. Even after finishing downing the last of my mead. Waving the barmaid over for a second pint, the bar at the Adventurer’s Guild was pleasantly empty. It was a shot in the dark if Glenn or company would be there or not and currently they weren’t. Fionn had paid me my stipend of five silver dolves earlier that day marking a full month of working in the archives. It wasn’t bad per se, I could easily eat and get wasted here for a day or two off one silver. The problem was it wasn’t enough.

  It cost fifty silver dolves for a pot of mana conductive ink, anywhere between three and seven per sheet of insulatory paper. When the ink and paper meet it effectively creates a mana circuit. Powering and instructing runes to create a magical effect. In other words, the bread and butter of tiered spellcasting was well beyond my reach, not to mention other materials commonly used to help lower mana costs…

  It took a few days of Sofia’s blatant avoidance for me to get the message. Staring into the fresh mug of mead, I had given up theorizing on what I did to earn her ire. Fionn had been amicable enough, or at least as much as she had been before, which sat strangely with me.

  It wasn’t like I didn’t expect this eventually. There wasn’t any reason why it would be any different in this world. I knew people didn't like me. I’d put on my song and dance for them, they’d use me to be entertained and inevitably they moved on without me. It was naive to be hopeful that a handful of strangers that found me in the woods would be any different. Though, I hoped they would’ve put up with me for a bit longer.

  In the end what was I to Sofia or the rest of them? Some pity project she found out in the woods. Seeing me half starved and dying from wolves probably made her feel better about her life by comparison. Right up until I stole her thunder with my ‘revelation’. People love a punching bag they can put down afterall.

  Perhaps it was better to stop dwelling on it. There were more important things to be done after all. I’ve never succeeded because of others, but in spite of them. Yet here I sat, waiting and hoping to beg for some coins from Glenn. All my efforts in my past world to never be shackled by money was up in smoke.

  “Hey Glenn, Archie,” I called out from across the bar seeing them come in after maybe an hour or two.

  “What bring’s ya here lass?” Archie asked, taking a seat across the table.

  “Is everything alright?” Glenn followed suit, taking a seat.

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  “For the most part, though I can’t say I came here without need,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “How serious were you when you mentioned ‘paying the price to foster a mage?’”

  “Heh, of course that’s why ya’re here.” Archie gave Glenn an ‘I told you so’ sort of look.

  “Quit giving her a hard time. We’ve been over this.”

  “We’ve been over it, but when I see a turd I ain’t afraid to call it shite. A year to learn magic’s a fucking joke that ain’t even funny.” Archie waved down the barmaid to get himself a drink.

  “You’re still pissed you lost our sparring match.” Glenn smirked as Archie rolled his eyes. Glenn turned back to me. “Ignore him, what do you need?”

  “The paper and ink I need for tiered spel-”

  “Tiered spells, ya’re telling me ya at that point? If ya need some coin be honest about what ya need it for, lass,” Archie sneered.

  I looked over to Glenn. “It is a bit hard to believe given that it hasn’t even been a month,” he replied.

  Picking up an emptied mug, I glared at Archie and let go of it. I had enough mana to cast a spell keeping it lifted in the air, adjusting the spell so it wouldn’t shoot off instead keeping it hovering in place. It lasted for a second or two before the magic faded and it dropped to the table.

  “Ya’re, shitting me,” Archie grumbled.

  “As I was saying, I checked the markets earlier and the materials I need are a bit above what I can afford with my stipend from the church.”

  “Today isn’t your day, is it Archie.” Glenn grinned, reaching into his satchel, sliding over a few gold dolves which I quickly pocketed. It was a lot more generous than I expected. “I told you it’ll work out.”

  “Eh, don’t get it in yer head that every muddy rock’s a golden nugget. Lass, I know the oaf’s coin purse’s too loose for his own good, but know I’m adding this to ya tab.”

  “Ha! You say that but I still brought you and Ivili on board didn’t I? I know you're in a foul mood, but if nothing else you must admit I have an eye for talent,” Glenn said. “My parents would be rather cross with me if I wasn’t. They did their best to beat that into me early.”

  “Well, perhaps we can work something out to settle that tab,” I said, interrupting their usual bantering. “I’m not too interested in owing outstanding debt. However, what I have planned, I can't exactly do it alone.”

  Archie downed a swig from his mug. “Hmm, ya got my interest.”

  “Well, I don’t really know who I can sell this to,” I leaned in, moving to a hushed whisper, “but there’s some intel about upcoming wars and conflicts I can sell off.”

  “Where did you get that?” Glenn asked, his mirthful attitude coming to a quick end.

  “Where do you think?” I glared at him and gestured upwards. It took him a second until recognition took over. “I don’t know if you might know some noble house that would be interested.”

  “My family might, but you’d be stepping into dangerous territory.” Glenn crossed his arms and looked at me sternly. “I wouldn’t advise it.”

  “Your family?”

  “We’re a military house, part of the duke’s standing army.”

  “It could be worth considering at the very least.”

  “Despite whatever Archie says, I’m not holding the money I give you against you. I did offer to help.”

  “Yea, yea, but I'd rather have a nice nest egg when we leave rather than being penniless.”

  “Penniless?”

  “Currency where I come from, think of it like copper dolves.” I waved him off.

  “Hells, we ain’t had a real job since we found the lass,” Archie said. “She has a good point. Ain’t like the gods are all too keen on paying up to get their little quest to happen. Might as well take what we’re given.”

  “How much do you know?”

  “Enough to know we’ll want to be out of Hylesse in two years.” Well a lot more than that, but they didn’t need to know. “Also a good bit about why and how that comes about, enough I’d wager there’d be something someone in power would pay for.”

  “We won’t entertain it.” Glenn put his foot down. “This could easily become a mess if done improperly.”

  I called the barmaid over for my third pint. Glenn the voice of reason? Surprising if nothing else. The calculus in my mind still told me it was worth it. This was likely a non-insignificant portion of their funds Glenn gave me. Plus, I’m not convinced I want to travel with them beyond my goals. If Lily was in this world I’d like to explore it with her. Yet, regardless if she was or not once I got to Lydescia I’d be much safer if I can convince her to be my magic teacher.

  Ivili came in later and joined us for a while. I stopped by the market briefly to get my supplies. As evening came Glenn decided to escort me back to the church grounds. I wasn’t against it, tipsy and manaless from my earlier display. It was strange how little their treatment of me had changed, unlike Sofia. Not that it mattered I suppose.

  ***

  Having gotten funds, I threw myself into my studies and work. One day turned to the next, then the next, and I continued with my routine. Just trying to get through to the end of the day so I could build up enough mana to experiment and, maybe, make more progress on spellcraft.

  It was suffocating on the church grounds, being so surrounded by others constantly. Everything was communal with little privacy. I did my best to keep my head low. How many of the people around me would kill me, following the will of their gods, if only they knew a bit more about me. Yet blissfully unaware that their lives could very well be tied to my survival; their lives tied to my success.

  Day and day again I woke to an all too familiar nausea. I couldn’t let it slow me down, the world wasn’t waiting for me. Time marched relentlessly on. It wouldn’t take much for the sword above my head to drop, splitting it open. I need a way to stop it or avoid it. So I worked, I studied, I failed. Spending everyday drowning in my routine. Before I knew it I’d been in this world for nearly three months.

  My limiting successes were with untiered magic. Beyond rocks I could also make gusts of wind and move water. Though both were also kinetic motion energy based and rather unimpressive. The most significant breakthrough was making an electric arc between my fingers. The available mana I could draw on grew. At full charge I could apply a force to accelerate objects or electrify them seven times. Tiered spells, meanwhile, I faced failure after failure.

  My pitiful allowance from the church was a constant source of dismay. Though they were providing room, clothes, and board as well as access to magic tomes so I think it was overall worth it. Yet, each failure at crafting a tiered spell glyph only meant owing more and more to Glenn and Archie. A constantly growing debt with nothing to show for it. It was a small comfort that as the time continued to pass they didn’t avoid me or act strangely like Sofia. Though Archie’s annoyance each time I came by to ask for more certainly didn’t go unnoticed.

  With every passing day the feeling of malaise grew. What began as simple nipping, soon started biting at my will. I couldn’t keep going on like this. Each day I wasted precious mana, time, and money, none of which I had. A first tier magic seemed to take twice the mana of a single rock shot or shock spell which meant I only had three attempts a week. I was trying whenever I could over and over again to cast tiered spells. The pit in my stomach grew with each failure. If I couldn’t do this I couldn’t survive.