Awake and mend.

  Those two Words had rapidly become my only grasp on sanity. One half formed and one I had put together through blind application. Alone, mend wouldn't be enough to push through the sleep my body desperately craved. Neither would awake, as the Word just kept me from sleeping, but when I combined the two?

  Well, I couldn't go entirely without needing to subject myself to dreaming, but I could substitute about a third of the biological necessity. Leaving me less time to wallow in the condemnations my mind would conjure and more time to train!

  The cherry on top? Awake was progressing at an insane pace compared to mend!

  One month was all that passed and I felt like I was just a few more weeks into fully learning the Word, which would grow my soul some more (whatever that did), and make the process much more efficient.

  I could hardly wait for the day where I could skip sleep without consequence, and the more Words I learned, the closer I was to forming my own spell!

  Though the amount of mana I used meant I had to cut back on mending my fatigue. Meant that my body was actually benefiting from all the training for once. Positives and negatives.

  Pushing my mana through my body like that was a more soothing calm compared to the absolute agony racing through my pathways.

  I might have grown enough not to drop from a seizure since my third drop of power, but that didn't mean I could ignore the constant pain coursing through my spirit.

  That was another word I was working towards, it was more...esoteric? The droplets stopped deepening my understanding a while ago, and just forcing mana through the Word into my body wasn't making enough progress where I could expect to consolidate the Word sometime this decade.

  I still experimented, to a certain extent I could siphon any pain I was feeling into raw power, but that was barely more efficient than just pushing mana to do it with amorphous control. I could be more direct with it than raw mana though, like pushing my speed and reaction time independently.

  On the plus side it also helped with learning new Words, but not so much that the progress actually mattered.

  I still couldn't control the droplets coursing through my pathways, so whenever I pushed too far I simply dumped all my mana into my body. Which was fantastic for increasing my tolerance, with the caveat of horrendous mana sickness.

  And an early trip to my nightmares.

  I had a feeling that this had to be taught at the universities, because the rate at which my tolerance was growing was ridiculous. Even if the sickness got worse each time as my reserves increased, it was worth it.

  Besides, those weren't the only things I was working towards

  "Words work differently depending on the mage," Alvir said as he went about his enchanting. "It works within the boundaries of what concept you've attached yourself too. Which can have distinct variances even if they seem to do the same thing, what is the difference between fire and the combustion that would produce said fire? Someone attached to the concept of mountains would seemingly be capable of mimicking everything a stone mage could muster.

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  "Which, if you've been paying attention, you'd realize that means concepts aren't equal in value. Generally, the broader the concept, the better. While more specific concepts have better efficiency, that means little since a mage can just keep nurturing their abilities to make up for the loss.

  "Versatility is king in magic, and once your concept is set, it doesn't change.

  "It's why mages spend so long in their precious universities studying to find a concept they can attach to their soul before they so much as touch their mana.

  "Us witches kinda cheat the whole process. We learn whatever magic the demon we've bonded to practices, which can be a boon or curse depending on the demon. Means we end up with much stranger magic than what is streamlined though.

  "In your case, any word you learn will affect your body. You could still learn words like Burn or Make, but it'd specifically apply to your body and nothing more."

  I grunted as I kept hold of the enchanted bar, sweat pouring down my brow as I focused on increasing my strength.

  He gave me a nod as a rat of white and black chittered on his shoulder, a new addition that was annoying in how it followed me everywhere. "That means you won't be doing any flashy magic, but if your story is to be believed then these are probably the kind of enhancements that make orcs such a menace. It just means you'll be a close quarters combatant, which you've already been training in so it isn't much of a loss.

  "Now, there are core Words and connecting Words. Spells are made of Sentences and those are made of Words, but if you were to develop a spell to keep yourself awake you would find yourself stumped with just awake and mend. Even if it goes about the same process.

  "An example of something that might work is a two sentence spell. Keep Me Awake combined with Mend My Fatigue.

  "This sets conditions for the mana to follow, and it works within the context of the spell. For example, Shape Into The Weapon Of My Mind is a common Sentence for spells that summon a weapon, but it always works in the context of the spell...how that context is decided depends entirely on the initial intention, concept, and other Sentences that make up the spell.

  "So! Why am I babbling about all this? Well, we need to expand your lexicon. The easiest way to do that is to push through by applying your mana into certain tasks, but for connecting Words we need a more philosophical approach. One that you surely have no patience for. But! You're a lucky little mouse with that spell already attached to your soul, you can reverse engineer it to get the connecting Words by just cheating."

  The bastard seemed genuinely excited at the prospect of teaching me all this random assortment of knowledge. It was a mystery how he could know so much without having attended the universities, but I didn't really know how old he was. Neither did any of the locals. They seemed...oddly disconnected when the topic came up.

  I chalked that up to witch magic but that wouldn't make any sense, not for Alvir. Not unless there was a witch of the ever so mysterious coven doing a city wide spell constantly. Which was a fucking horror to contemplate, so instead of spiralling through that train of thought I focused on the ridiculously heavy bar I could barely keep hold of. How did the logic of Words and magic apply to enchanting?

  From what I understood, Alvir's magic had something to do with rodents, and this was either gravity or weight magic. I didn't see how that could possibly relate to rodents but I kept my questions to myself.

  Partially because the prospect of actually talking to the man was one I didn't care for, and partially because my struggle with the bar was enough to keep me quiet.

  How fortunate.

  "Now, I have no idea how to get Words from a spell since that's flipped around quite a bit but you seem on top of the process," Alvir said as he continued to mold his mana around a bracelet.

  I'd reached a point where the amount he regularly used to enchant things could be sensed without trying too hard, or maybe he was doing it for my benefit. I didn't really care either way. But it meant I could feel the flavour of sweetness hiding poison resting under the surface through the entirety of our training.

  The feeling was a constant reminder and truly suited the man, seeming so kind and generous but willing to commit atrocities for the sake of proving a fucking point.

  I was going to kill him someday, that was perhaps the only reason I could tolerate the witch. The only solace I could give to Riri and Gar's memory. The only justification I had for learning from him.

  I was going to kill him, and he'd know true pain throughout the entire process.

  I cared little for what I'd have to sacrifice to rip out his heart.

  No matter the pain.

  too info dumpy like I am here, but Yir had to know the basics of magic eventually.