Regret. Such a simple word couldn’t be used to describe how Nya was feeling in this one of many, many, many, many moments in time.

  In truth, she wasn’t sure any words she knew of or words that existed in this world could ever describe how she felt.

  “We made a deal,” Ulric said in a low tone, looking straight ahead.

  The words reached Nya, and she understood and comprehended them, but her mind was filled with memories of that time when she was happy and when she was overcome with dispair.

  “H-h-ho-h-how d-d-di-d-did y-y-y-y-ou k-k-k-kno-kn-know,” Nya stuttered, her mind a landscape of traumatizing and despair-inducing emotions.

  “I… I overheard your mother when she and your father found out,” Ulric responded.

  Never in all her life had Nya been so overwhelmed with emotions. Her first time in battle. Her first kill, neither of those times could ever compare to how she felt that time, how she felt now.

  “I-I-I’m so-sorry…” Nya still stuttered.

  ‘Get a hold of yourself! And stop stuttering!’ Nya screamed in her head as she tried to explain everything to Ulric.

  “Forget it,” Ulric said, standing up, spear in hand. “Just forget tonight. It’s clear you won’t tell me.”

  Quickly, he disappeared into the shadows, and Nya was left there with the memories she had for so long forgotten and hidden away.

  ‘Just forget! Just forget again! Just forget…! Forget!’ Nya thought, her head sinking between her legs.

  She gritted her teeth as she flexed and tightened every muscle over and over again, containing her erupting emotions.

  She brought her hands to her head and proceeded to scratch herself with her claws in a vain attempt to forget her pain.

  ‘It won’t work; pain won’t make it go away.’ Nya raised her head and looked behind her. The party was still raging, and there was enough floor juice for her to forget this night.

  Weakly she got to her feet and slowly walked toward the great hall, her head slumped down with her eyes fixed on the ground as she bared and gritted her teeth.

  Harder… Harder… Harder!

  Suddenly, Nya stopped her legs, unable to take another step forward. ‘How dare! How dare he ask me that question!’

  “How dare he remind me of that sadistic vixen again.”

  With each step she had taken, her inner turmoil had subsided, and she had slowly reached a clear state of mind.

  She was gritting her teeth as hard as she possibly could as her tail and ears stood standing. She spread and flexed her fingers until her claws were as far out as they could be.

  Suddenly, Nya spun around, growling, her claws digging into the ground before she sprinted as fast as she could after Ulric.

  It was too dark to see anything clearly, even with the light of Di above her; however, she had no need of her eyes as she smelled the air and instantly picked up Ulric’s scent.

  It hadn’t changed in years. He still smelled of dirt and metal.

  Effortlessly, Nya navigated the outpost, keeping her top speed even as her body grew hotter. However, no such thing would deter her as she followed his rapidly strengthening scent.

  She turned a corner and ran straight ahead, knowing Uric was just to her right. With what little self-restraint she possessed, Nya dug her claws into the ground, slowing her down.

  Her claws dug up dirt, leaving marks in the ground while her steadily built-up momentum slowed to a crawl.

  Ulric watched from the corner of his eye as Nya, with steady and unmoving legs, appeared from around the corner as if she had been pushed.

  As their eyes made contact, Nya dashed toward Ulric, snarling and growling like a beast.

  She lept at Ulric, grabbing his shoulders and sinking in her claws as deep as she could.

  While they were falling to the ground, Nya opened her mouth and aimed for Ulric’s throat.

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  The moment her mouth was close enough, her jaw snapped shut.

  Both landed on the ground with a heavy thud as Nya panted from exhaustion.

  “So, are you going to do it?”

  Still panting, Nya felt her jaw tremble. A part of her wanted to so badly. That part wanted to inflict the same pain and despair she felt.

  Yet no matter how much that part of her wanted to, her jaw wouldn’t close. Her teeth wouldn’t penetrate his flesh.

  With all of her will gone, Nya let go of Ulric and weakly got to her feet. “I will await your punishment.”

  However, as Nya slowly walked away, Ulric grabbed her hand and pulled her back. “I said you couldn’t run away.”

  She looked into his stern yet kind eyes, and she trembled, “I… I-I… I.” no matter how much she tried, the words just wouldn’t come out.

  For so long, she had controlled herself and kept her emotions under check, but she couldn’t any longer. Not while he was looking at her with those eyes.

  Nya fell to her knees as she started to cry, “Why…! Why did you have to make me remember?! Why do you look at me like that.”

  Ulric didn’t answer; instead, he just pulled her into an embrace, and Nya just cried and cried. Wailing like a newborn babe as she curled into a ball.

  Eventually, Ulric carried Nya off the ground and into his house, with Nya clinging to him with each step even as he sat down in his bed.

  Neither of them knew how long Nya cried, but eventually, each and every tear in her body was cried.

  Still, in Ulric’s embrace, Nya spoke. “What will be my punishment?”

  “You attacked the commander of an outpost. I shouldn’t be the one to tell you it’s certain death,” Ulric sighed. “But you know I’d never do that to you.”

  “I don’t feel like I know you or you me,” Nya responded in a hushed whisper as she started to stretch her legs.

  “A lot of time has passed from the time we were young, and you can’t deny we have both changed a lot,” Ulric somberly said as Nya’s legs reached the floor.

  Slowly, Nya pulled herself away from Ulric until she was sitting beside him. “It’s been a little over if not twenty, summers since we were lovers.”

  “Truthfully, I had expected you to ask another question tonight.”

  “Do you still love me?” Ulric said, glancing over at Nya. “It’s the second question I’ve wanted to ask you since you came.”

  “What do I even say,” Nya said out loud, her gut twisting and turning in agony. “A part of me still does, but I suppose it’s the younger you.”

  “I guessed as much when you appeared at the outpost holding your three children,” Ulric said in a calm and emotionless tone of voice. “So, what was his name?”

  “Fashik.”

  Ulric’s tail was slowly moving closer to Nya’s, but before they touched, he pulled it away. “I hope… I hope he made you happy.”

  “In many ways, he did, and in other ways, he just couldn’t. Not as you once could before… before,” Nya repeated as she started to shake.

  “Nya,” Ulric said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

  She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but concern. “I don’t know if it’ll work, but just try and drink tonight away and forget.”

  “No, I owe you the truth. You were… you are… their father,” Nya said as she pulled her legs up onto the bed and wrapped her arms around them. “You deserve to know what happened to them.”

  “It was a short time after we’d… exchanged each other’s innocence,” Nya started, her voice low. “I felt my body change in ways I’d never felt before, and those changes didn’t go unnoticed.”

  “My mother and father quickly found out and started to yell at me. Their shouting was loud, and I was scared, but at that time, I finally understood why my body was changing, and I felt happy.”

  “In those short moments of happiness, I imagined us being together and having a happy family, but I didn’t hide my happiness very well.”

  “My mother lost it and attacked me. She prevented any of my screams from being heard before her claws dug into my flesh and ripped me open.

  “I guess you left before this part; otherwise, I know you’d have come,” Nya said, looking away.

  “It’s true I left in a hurry after your mother started to yell,” Ulric said shamefully.

  “She only stopped before I was dead at the behest of my father, who managed to pull her off me. Even as everything faded to black and I was lying in a pool of my own blood, she was still trying to attack me.”

  “She was no better than a savage beast fueled… by rage.”

  Nya fell silent as she started to shake slightly more.

  “You are not like her,” Ulric said reassuringly. “You lost control, yes, but you stopped yourself. She’d never have the strength to do so.”

  “When I awoke, some time had passed, and you had long since been thrown out of the outpost by my mother,” Nya continued, never acknowledging Ulric’s words.

  “I guess it wasn’t too hard for her to figure out with you being my only friend and all,” Nya somberly and silently chuckled.

  “With the children of someone my mother hadn’t married me off to growing inside me, my mother locked me inside my room for weeks.”

  “Her original plan was for me to give birth in secret and then…”

  “I don’t know what she would have done, but I always hoped they’d just been taken to the capital like all the other newborns,” Nya said as her eyes got teary.

  “However, when that damned merchant came and showed her an item he’d procured. One that went against the nature of life itself,” Nya said, grabbing herself tightly as she bared her teeth in anger, fear, and sadness.

  “Once she had purchased it from the merchant, she went directly to my room and told me to drink it. I didn’t know what it was and refused and that… and that…”

  “Nya, I think I know--”

  “And that was when she forced my jaws apart and forced me to swallow it. EVERY. LAST. DROP.”

  “The time that followed was a hellish one, and by the end, I was no longer pregnant,” Nya finished.

  Suddenly, both fell dead silent, neither uttering a word, and both bearly breathed.

  Ulric wanted to say something to comfort her at this time, but the revelation that his children had been killed before they were born was as shocking and horrifying to him as it must have been for Nya.

  The nurturing love of a mother was a truly amazing and beautiful thing that no man would truly ever understand, and likewise, the father had a role in the family that no mother would ever truly understand.

  To protect and strengthen his kin, making them ready for the harsh world.

  However, to Ulric, having learned about his children's fate, he felt like an utter and complete failure, having failed and not been there.

  Suddenly, a wellspring of tears flowed from his eyes, yet he didn’t sob or make a sound, nor did he move in the slightest.

  As Ulric cried, Nya let go of herself and embraced him with as much warmth and love as she could muster, pulling his head to her chest as both fell onto the bed with only each other’s company.