Hector’s shoes stuck to the floor with each step. As he looked around the grungy dive bar at the slovenly appearance of the other patrons, he arrived at the inescapable conclusion that he was overdressed. Khaki pants and a polo shirt were not standard attire for Jimmy’s Watering Hole.

  He received a couple of second glances and raised eyebrows, but no one commented on his choice of clothing. The empty spot on the floor with a ragtag collection of equipment and instruments wasn’t occupied yet, so Volithur went to the bar to place a drink order. His forearms adhered immediately to the sticky surface, which once more had him questioning what he was doing.

  Was this a mid-life crisis? His dad died a little over a week ago, he quit his job, took on the dubious task of saving world, and just that morning hooked up with a woman who was literally half his age. The only red flag he hadn’t raised yet was buying a flashy sports car.

  The bartender gave him an ominously quick list of drink options by way of greeting. “Coors, Miller, or liquor?”

  One of the other patrons, already drunk by his appearance, chimed in before Hector could answer. “Lick her? I haven’t even met her yet!”

  “Calm down, Ernie, or you’ll get kicked out early tonight,” the bartender retorted.

  “I’ll have Miller,” Hector said.

  The bartender returned moments later to plop down a plastic cup, sending a splash onto the bar top. “That will be two fifty.”

  Hector handed over some cash and moved away from the bar. He considered the place once more and decided that he wouldn’t trust anyone here with glass either. He found a seat close to the area where the instruments were set up and took a sip of the beer. It was slightly sour, so apparently their tap system didn’t get cleaned often enough.

  Still, he was there for the night. He’d promised Evelyn to watch their show and didn’t want to go back on his word. Hector felt a sly smile steal onto his face as he recalled their time together. She had been correct when she told him there was another way to get a cardio workout. Their activities had exhausted him thoroughly enough that he had caught a quick nap after Evelyn left to get ready for her gig.

  A nap meant more Volithur drama, of course. Though the latest developments were positive. Hector felt like he had a certain depth of experience at enhancing bones. All vicarious, of course, but he suspected it would translate well. If it was like Evelyn hoped, Hector would learn Volithur’s lessons better than the boy ever had.

  Would a body and mind enhanced to the heights of a level three soul be enough to make a difference in a fight with literal monsters? Even if you assumed he stockpiled enough energy to make liberal use of his aura as a barrier, he didn’t see how he could do much good. Maybe he could survive a few fights. Maybe. But how would he turn the tides of a worldwide catastrophe?

  Any time he thought too deeply about their mission, he ran straight into the obvious problem. A couple of people couldn’t resolve a world-ending threat. At least, not people born outside of a true world. Maybe if Lord Annihilator showed up he could throw a few chaos bolts to turn the tide of battle. But what good could Hector Thoreaux do?

  Evelyn had been led to him by her visions, so they both assumed Hector had something to offer. But there was an alternative to that theory. Evelyn could just be really bad at predicting the future. He could even see it playing out. She was stressed out about the end of the world and sought out a way to stop it. Only instead of finding a way to save the world, she instead discovered a way to ease her stress – a guy she could have fun with until the end arrived.

  To put the negative thoughts out of his mind, Hector expanded his aura and drew it back in to absorb whatever ambient cosmic energy there was in this horrible… no, amazingly wonderful environment. To his great shock, cosmic energy hung heavy in the air, thick and rich. Hector began to cultivate at a rapid pace, capturing as much of the energy as he could. He mentally apologized to the dive bar for ever thinking poorly of it.

  While he was in the midst of his self-improvement practice, arms circled his neck from behind. Black hair whipped into his face. “Guess who?”

  “Yeah, guess who, Hector baby!”

  “Guess three, bitch!”

  Hector froze as he felt a lot of hands rubbing his head and shoulders. “Hey, Evie. I take it these are your band mates?”

  “He’s so smart, E!”

  “Say our names, too, Hector baby!”

  “Girls, you’re not making a great first impression.”

  Hector stared at the four ladies, all clad in black, with varying amounts of skin displayed. Evelyn clapped one of them on the back. “This is Brittney. She’s the official mom of the group. Keyboard, lead vocals, drink Nazi, and has a real job.”

  He said the first thing that came to mind. “Real job is good.”

  Brittney rolled her eyes. “I’m a hairdresser, not a doctor or something. I just look good in comparison to these idiots.”

  Evelyn reached over to pinch the cheek of another girl. “My girl Megan. She bangs on the drums, bangs the guys, and is a little bit coked up at the moment.”

  “Easy, E! Don’t share my shit with everyone,” Megan complained. She smiled as she turned her attention back to him. “Pleasure to meet you, Hector baby. You’re as hot as I imagined you’d be.”

  You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

  Evelyn smooched the cheek of the third girl. “And Danielle, my lifelong bestie. The only bass guitarist alive without a functioning sense of rhythm. She would easily be the worst member of any other band, but I make her look good.”

  Danielle winked at him. “Call me D, Hector.”

  “Nice to meet all of you.”

  “I told her to find an older guy,” Megan announced. “So you should thank me.”

  “You told Evie to find an older guy?”

  “They’ve got more experience and more money.”

  Evelyn shook her head. “I do not take dating advice from you, Megan.”

  Megan put a hand to her chest. “I’m wounded! Hector baby, you’ll have to listen to my superb advice instead. Handicap stall of the ladies room. That’s where you drag your lady between sets.”

  “He has a nice bed at his house, so gross public bathroom sex is a hard pass,” Evelyn said.

  Danielle made an appreciative noise. “Is it a hospital bed?”

  Megan elbowed Danielle. “Yo, bitch, don’t age shame. It’s not weird until they take out their teeth.” The girls all laughed and began talking over each other, shouting jokes that became ever cruder as they all sought to be the most inappropriate.

  “Oh my God, there are more of you,” he said to Evelyn during a break in the action.

  “Whoa, H daddy is angling for a goth girl orgy,” Megan snickered.

  “I assure you, I’m happy with just Evie.”

  “Aw, he’s so loyal.” Megan patted his head like he was a dog.

  Brittney began to herd the rest girls of the girls over to the equipment. She turned back to Hector as sound checks began. “Nice to meet you. Be good to Evie, she’s not as unaffected as she pretends to be.”

  Within a few minutes, Brittney was shouting incomprehensible introductions into a microphone. The girls cheered for each other as the rest of the bar mostly ignored their existence. Then the real noise began as they started with their ‘music’.

  Hector watched the show unfold with a sense of ironic appreciation. He couldn’t tell if their show was supposed to be some kind of intentionally awful performance art or if they just didn’t care that they lacked even the slightest trace of skill. At some point, Megan abandoned her drums and stripped off several layers of clothes in a provocative display, only returning to her instrument when she was down to the essential last bits. The bar patrons liked that part and threw tips into an open instrument case to communicate their desire for more.

  While he enjoyed the sheer oddity of the experience, Hector split his attention so that he could dedicate most of his concentration to the act of cultivation. Despite the fact that he had been steadily drawing in cosmic energy prior to meeting the girls, the environment seemed just as ideal as the moment he arrived. He had truly struck a gold mine.

  After a few songs, Brittney pointed to Hector and announced that he was buying a round for the performers because he was their number one groupie. Hector complied without hesitation, high on the copious amounts of cosmic energy he had absorbed. It would probably not be possible to reach the next level that night, but he suspected that reaching the peak of his current level could happen.

  The ladies took the beers he brought them, Evelyn making a ‘what are you doing after the show’ joke. He won points with her band by responding ‘you, if things go well’. Then came another round of enthusiastic noise. Hector pretended to nod along to the inconsistent beat as he cycled energy into his soul.

  When their break between sets came, Brittney ordered him to grab them more beers. Evelyn attempted to request a shot of Rumple Minze from him, but Brittney shot that request down hard. They took their beers from him and Evelyn insisted he tell him their favorite Metallica song.

  “Probably ‘Unforgiven’.”

  “Wrong, pick again,” Danielle responded.

  Hector laughed. “Uh, I guess ‘Fade to Black’ is pretty good.”

  “Nope,” Megan said. “The correct answer was ‘Master of Puppets’. Good luck next time.”

  Hector nodded, trying to avoid looking at anything inappropriate as Megan truly wore very little. Some of the other men had approached her throughout the night between songs, and she had whispered things in their ears that seemed to make them happy.

  “She’s a stripper,” Brittney said.

  “What?”

  “You were wondering what Megan’s deal was.”

  “Was I that obvious?”

  Brittney shrugged. “When my boyfriend came to his first show, he did exactly what you’re doing and tried so hard to not look in Megan’s direction without being obvious about it. I guess he thought he was respecting me by not looking or something? Anyway, all the losers who beg for her number are told to come watch her dance at the club. That seems to satisfy them.”

  Evelyn played with his hair. “So be honest. Are we the worst band you ever heard?”

  Hector laughed. “How are you ladies enjoying the beers?”

  “That’s a yes!”

  “Dodged the question!”

  “Too polite!”

  The girls joked with one another as they returned to the stage for the remainder of their show. Hector thought they might have played ‘Master of Puppets’ as part of their second set, but he could barely tell the difference between any of their songs to begin with. It was just loud, arrhythmic noise to him. With Megan occasionally strutting around the stage and pretending she was about to remove her bra before suddenly acting shy.

  When the music ended, cheers from the bar patrons erupted. Hector couldn’t tell if they were showing their appreciation for the strip tease or celebrating the end of the horrible cacophony, but the girls acted as if they were being recognized for delivering a stellar musical performance.

  Hector stayed while they packed up their equipment, then at their request bought yet another round of beers as they decided to hang out until close. They didn’t leave until the bar shut down at two in the morning. Evelyn asked Danielle to cover for her if her parents called around and then hopped in Hector’s car.

  His ears still ringing, Hector spoke too loud as they returned to his house. “Don’t you think you should let your parents know what you are doing?”

  “Definitely not, big man. Definitely. Not.”

  “It was nice meeting ‘the girls’ tonight.”

  “Yeah,” she said. “Love those girls. Really hope we can save them, Hector. Save everyone.”

  “We will,” he assured her.