Extraterrestrials transmitted a welcome message to Earth.

  One-Earth Space Agency invited the aliens to send an ambassador for first contact.

  The arriving alien spaceship was treated with great fanfare.

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  “Welcome to Earth! We have so many questions!”

  “I understand your language—I will try to answer them.”

  …

  After several inquiries, a scientist boldly asked, “Why all the canned responses. Do you know anything?”

  “Sorry, I’m only following a script. Back at home, I’m a famous actor, so I offered.”

  The scientist gasped—“Why did they choose you?”

  “According to our extensive research, ‘celebrity’ is the highest rank on Earth.”