In the Exorcist Organisation building

  An Angel was walking along an outstretched hallway flanked by rows of cells. The lights were dimly lit and the shadow clang heavily onto all the surfaces, darkened further by a constant depression that pressed down on the whole corridor like the falling of an invisible sky.

  As her footsteps approached the cell at the extreme corner, sounds of someone mumbling and rumbling could be heard battling back and forth, unyielding to any conclusion.

  “No, Mom will never abandon me. She will not give up on me. Mom will never abandon me. That will not happen! I am not…I am not….”

  The Angel paused for a moment, blinked a few times, before unlocking the door. She was a tall, fair lady with thick red hair tied neatly underneath a dark flat hat.

  “The senior Angels have all just agreed to free you, and I am giving you an update, so listen carefully.”

  Zun was kneeling a bit too close to the cell door that when the Angel arrived unannounced, she immediately flinched and slid to the corner in pathetic speed, all the while biting down on her fingernails, dotted with dried blood. That lady’s words came in like thunder and threatened her already fragile mental foundation.

  Unsure how to react, the Angel kept an inscrutable face, while her gaze followed Zun closely. “Captain Koi is still missing, and we are speculating that he abducted the Oracle.”

  “He abducted the Oracle?” The news came as a shock to Zun.

  “Yes. Right now, we have many Angels out there guarding the House of Glory and patrolling the streets to find him. The decision to release you is based on the fact that you have correctly directed the Angels to the House of Glory for the clue. According to Hue’s account, you have also given your best in fighting King Cobra with your life on the line, so we agreed your efforts should be recognised.”

  The Angel took a moment to take a quick breath and carried on with a hardened tone. “Although Captain has widely claimed that you have willingly engaged with a demon and made a pact with it, there is no record of that in the final report he wrote after the battle. So we cannot officially criminalise you as a malicious mage.”

  Another pause cut the speech, this time led by her curious glance to read Zun’s reaction.

  “Due to a lack of concrete evidence and record, the team has concluded that it could be a false accusation done out of the Captain’s own self-interest. We are releasing you now and hope you will contribute to our search for Captain, and also help us solve any incoming issues. For now, you can take some rest in the office or the medical centre.”

  Zun shook her head violently, almost in denial. A cold tone brushed up her face and tightened her expression. “B–but I was possessed…I killed—”

  “I thought you already knew the initial report he signed that said you were possessed during the fight with the clown was a lie to extract your energy. The accident in the ritual room was a serious malfunction confirmed by the captain himself, too.”

  There was no immediate response from Zun, but after what felt like the longest five seconds, she nodded slowly. Something about how Koi left out her relation with the demon felt deliberate, and she held back her breath as if scared of being heard in her own thoughts. “S–so, what is going to happen to the House of Glory? Is the altar alright?”

  “The House is fine. The team is still searching for the Oracle. Any ideas what Captain Koi might be planning?”

  “Huh? I dunno…I really dunno…I–I–I think he is going mad. That old man is done. He is done, and he is going to drag everyone with him.”

  The Angel raised her eyebrows. “Why?”

  “Because he is SELFISH! He is scared!”

  “Scared of what?”

  “Scared of…scared of death…. When you have been bad your whole life, won’t you be scared of death too?” Zun met the Angel’s glance with a daring glare, unfiltered by any held-back thoughts.

  It was the first time she looked her in the eyes, and the question just made the exchange extra charged. “You alright, no?”

  Zun pulled away and returned to her prior state, almost like a switch turned off.

  “Anyway, you can leave now.”

  “Once upon a time….once upon a time, a young man was–he was sacrificed to the tainted altar.” This time, struggling with a congested throat that seemed to stem from clogged up words steaming in Zun’s chest waiting to explode, she spoke again, swallowing away the remnant of mental restraint.

  “W–what?” The Angel was visibly baffled.

  “His mother lied to him…she forsake him and let his father sell his soul.”

  “Who are you talking about?”

  “That man, he always comes to my dream…with those tears and pain.”

  “Must surely be a nightmare.”

  “He’s real enough. I would pray for him every night and talk to him too. In the end, I even saw him crushed in front of my own eyes. B-but in the last nightmare, that lucid dream, I think–I think I woke up in his room. It looks just like mine, a bit older and more worn down. I caught a glimpse of his mother too and she–she—”

  Zun suddenly started screaming; her hands scratched the floor, trying to hold onto anything tangible. The dried blood on her fingertips faintly smudged the surface rusty red. “No–no–it’s impossible, mom won’t…mom won’t do this to me…she won’t abandon me…tell me this is just a nightmare! He is just a sorrowful, unfortunate ghost…we are–we are not—.”

  “Get a hold of yourself. You are probably traumatised by the battle with the Cobra. Go get some help at the medical centre.” The Angel urged as she clenched her jaw agitatedly, unable to think of a better response besides standing unpassionately at the receiving end of someone’s traumatic episode.

  “B–but what if mom leaves me?! What if she gives up on me? I am nothing without her! My life is meaningless! Where do I go wrong? What should I do? Tell me, please! I can’t–!” Those questions clung to the air with an iron claw, building up desperation and fear in a tug of war. It made the Angel uncomfortable.

  “So? You don’t want to come out because you are scared sh*tless of a nightmare? Your mother doesn’t even know you have been locked up since the battle, okay? Call her if you want, don’t let me babysit you.” It was a snappy reply intended to stop the conversation once and for all, but the slight quiver in her words betrayed her intention.

  Zun went dead silent. Every muscle of her body seemed to absorb the impact of her words. She turned her face down to the floor, almost hiding it behind her shoulder like a humiliated child being punished by her parents for something she couldn’t yet understand.

  Too late to redeem herself, the Angel spoke again with a bolder tone of authority. “Stand up and move already.”

  Zun sprang forward by reflex and jolted up to reach for the door, catching herself between crossed feet and a hectic fall.

  Witnessing her pathetic behaviour made the Angel even more uncomfortable. “Remember, don’t leave the building. We are still on duty, and the alleged news that you are working with a demon has been publicly spread through word of mouth. It will take us some time to clear your name.”

  Zun nodded absentmindedly as she walked out of the cell, shoulders hunched over, while shivering in her own embrace. With each step, she glanced over the other cells one by one for distraction; they all seemed to be shrouded in a stillness of time, bearing scars of cracked walls and washed-out paint that spoke to her of her own ugly battered body.

  Lost in their hunted display, Zun started to converse in unspoken words before throwing herself toward the bars in an eruption of frantic barking and kicking.

  The Angel instantly pulled her away, “Get a hang of yourself! Don’t be like your dad!” That last comment felt personal.

  “They started it! They are laughing at me!”

  “No one is there!”

  “B–but they….”

  “You are hallucinating.”

  Zun swallowed her follow-up statement in cold sweat and abruptly diverted the topic. “I–I want–I want to use the restroom.”

  The Angel signed. “Go down the left wing and straight to the very end. The door will be to your right.”

  Zun nodded again in the same careless manner, her eyes still sweeping every corner in scrutiny of any small details.

  Just as the Angel thought she could finally relax, Zun stopped again, this time with her index finger pointing directly at an empty wall. “Who–who is that person standing at the corner? W–Why is he peaking like that?” In an awkward, inquisitive tone, she shot her last question, “Is he your friend?”

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  “What? There is no one. You are hallu—”

  “Yes, h–he is staring at us with that red–red head like yours. Seems to be waiting for you….”

  A chilling wave of impulses crawled in the Angel’s skin, pulsing blood up her head in a flash of blinding heat. It hit her eyes, ears and neck with a scorching redness, and before she realised, her fingers had numbed and let go of the cell key. She turned to look at the empty corner, eyes glinting in trembling motion.

  Zun proceeded to walk past the invisible visitor and seemingly nodded at the person as she took a left turn into the adjacent corridor, leaving the Angel alone in the confinement of her own flashback.

  On her way to the restroom, Zun’s vision started to shrink in painful contraction, darkening the edges of her view like an enclosing vignette until only the narrow path in front of her remained in enhanced clarity. It came with a pulling force that made her stagger down the slim track in a constant struggle to save herself from falling face down.

  The surge of anxiety revamped her fear into something more profound, and at that moment, all she could hear was her own thoughts slicing into layers of her heart.

  No, …mama, no… mama will never abandon me. She will never sacrifice me. She loves me…she loves me so much…I am her daughter…I am….

  When she looked up again, a tall window came into view at the very end of the corridor through which a sharp beam of light pierced in and travelled far, stopping right where her figure stood. Its intensity washed over her in striking warmth and quickly bled into the nerves of her eyes.

  This was a moment of revelation; Zun was convinced. The reality around her swirled and reformed, as if drawing her desire out on a sharp whim. This sacred gift from Lord Father was here upon her calling to honour her one and only wish.

  That’s right…I will prove it to you...I will get closure. I will not run away…I will not be scared…because I have always been a good daughter…I am….and Lord Father knows it!

  Zun’s home

  Lily was praying inside the offering room alone. All the windows were sealed tight and careful enough not to let in a single shaft of moonlight. The shadow cast from the warm glow of the altar’s candle cut deep into her wrinkled features, adding ten more years to her demeanour.

  Despite the self-imposed confinement, her chanting wasn’t as smooth as she had hoped. Between breaks of sneezing and gasping, Lily interrupted her own lines, dragging words and repeating them constantly.

  The altar before her stood decorative, thanks to the range of fruit and flower offerings that added vibrant shades and a hint of freshness. Yet the sublime sight failed to bring any sort of comfort.

  Instead, the woman felt looked down upon, as if nothing was enough.

  “I am terribly sorry! I am terribly sorry for not offering my whole concentration to this prayer.” She cried as she pressed her forehead against the floor.

  The candlelight flickered briefly, she flinched more in fear than in anticipation. “I am terribly sorry for forgetting the verse! I am terribly sorry for not being virtuous enough, for not being thankful enough, for not…not being worthy of your blessing!”

  Each word carried a weight of self-contempt. She knocked her head on the floor several more times, beating a dull brute of force into her skull.

  “But please don’t punish my family. Please don’t break us apart.” Those words of begging shamelessly made their way into her repetitive apology.

  She looked up at the Lord’s figure behind the glass frame of the altar and put her palms together. “My husband has always tried his best to fulfil his duty as a responsible Captain. Please spare his sanity. Call him back to us. He doesn’t deserve to bear this alone.”

  “My daughter…she…trust me, she is also not as hopeless as she seems. She is just eighteen!” Lily spread her hands towards the ceiling, too agitated to contain her intent with just mere words. Emotions uncalled for spilt all over her mind, that of sadness and of bitterness. They weaved her thoughts into old patterns that hardened with the lingering pain in her forehead.

  “She talked with a demon because I am not capable of improving her relationship with her father. I caused her to go astray and become a troubled youth! I am too soft on her and fail to correct her behaviour. She never meant to betray you. It’s me! I am too incompetent to be a good wife of a Captain!”

  The heightened voice was pressed low again. “I don’t know what is the right thing to do. I have probably offended you many times, but I am willing to better myself if it means I could keep our family whole. So please don’t let me down. Please save us, Lord…forgive me for my incompetence. Forgive me….”

  Lily let out an ugly cry. “I just have this small wish to protect this family.”

  It was a pleading unanswered, left on a cold plate to rot in front of a starving mouth. The wall around her felt too thin to hide her thoughts. Even the pair of exorcists strolling back and forth in the living room outside could hear her weeping. They gestured to each other and left for the balcony to avoid eavesdropping on her confession that made them feel a certain kind of pity too cruel to bear with hands tied.

  A tinted blue washed over the street in the silent hour of midnight, covering the base of each house in a mist of greyish fog. The Angels glanced from one corner to another and exhaled a long breath. “Why does this house feel so suffocating?”

  Back inside the offering room, the weeping sound had calmed down. The determined woman had now wiped off her tears and took out her own notebook to reread the prayer script and check where she had missed out.

  “How careless?” She whispered to herself. “This is all I can offer to help ease our trouble, yet I have never perfected the script. How can I make it up to you?” This habit of self-talking clung like an indismissible shadow to fill the empty space that had perpetually become a dominant setting of her life.

  She turned back some pages and looked at her notes on different offering items. Messy pencil lines and colored markers highlighted her intention.

  “Let’s see, maybe I should add pear and dragon fruit to the fruit offering. The white colour of their flesh can symbolise divine protection, right?”

  As she turned the page to continue reading the content, a small photo slipped out. It was a family photo taken when they were still a newly married couple.

  In the photo, a bright-looking Koi was holding baby Zun, whose forest green eyes were gleefully fixed on the photographer. The baby’s puffy cheek was blushy warm, and her pacifier traced the shape of a four-petal flower. Lily was standing to the right of her husband; their arms tightly crossed together. She had a white, flowy dress on. It was her favourite one, gifted by a deceased family member during her engagement months.

  That time, Koi’s hair was just past his chest and tied in a loose ponytail. He wore a wide, handsome smile, the kind that looked inexperienced yet proudly hopeful, with a radiance of youthful passion.

  “I love you, Lily. I love the family you give me. You make me whole and complete, and for that I will always be grateful.”

  An unconscious smile shyly touched Lily’s blushing face.

  “When Zun was born, you were so nervous to hold her in your arms. I could tell you were shivering and withholding your tears. Perhaps you were scared to hurt her, but you soon overcame that. Look at you already so comfortable in this photo. I should be the one holding her but you insisted. You used to be so cheerful.”

  The memory washed over her a deep longing for what could have been when years were young and possibilities plenty.

  “The future that was promised to us was beautiful. How did it turn to this? Where did it go wrong? We could have been a perfect family, but it seems like I couldn’t shoulder your problems. I can’t make it right for you.”

  Tears dropped on the photo and trailed down her skirt.

  “This life of an Angel that you so look up to is a mess. But how could I ever give up on you or your dream? I want the happiness you seek as a captain to be seen. That all the blood, sweat and tears are worth it. That your relationship with Zun could be wholesome like how it was meant to.”

  At that instant, almost like a yearning answered, her phone started vibrating. Lily stood at her spot for another second, eyes wandering in uncertainty until the vibration repeated, this time louder in her head.

  The following moment slipped right through her focus, and the next thing she noticed, she was already holding the phone with the call button answered and the caller’s name right in front of her face.

  Half panting and crying, she spoke, “My dear, where are you?! We are all so worried! Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

  There was no response from the other side of the line, and Lily started to panic. “It’s okay, you can tell me everything! I won’t blame you. You know I won’t ever. Come back home. It is safe here.”

  The questions kept piling atop one another with accumulating intensity, yet none was answered.

  Lily shook her head, pushing through a pretentious hope she could barely piece together. “What are you doing? Please, I beg you, come back home.”

  Then the person finally spoke; his familiar voice unbearably fractured and strained. “Lily, you said you would go through thick and thin with me, right?”

  Lily immediately answered. “Of course! Through any hardship! Through better or worse!”

  “Then burn down the altar!” Koi shouted from the other side of the phone, loud enough to ripe apart her innermost wishes that were only reserved for him. Not her daughter, not anyone else.

  Lily was stricken speechless as her heart froze.

  “Burn it down. RIGHT NOW. BURN THAT ALTAR DOWN!!”

  The Exorcist building

  A group of Angels was rushing to the sight of another hole in the wall.

  “She really left in the same fashion as her father! Dew, I told you to monitor Zun closely! Why do you let her run away?!”

  “How will I know?” The red-haired Angel protested.

  “You are supposed to make sure she stays in the building!!”

  “That doesn’t matter anyway. She probably destroyed the wall and ran away just to see her mom. There are Angels everywhere in the streets. Any one of them can report back to us or track her down. Let that girl have her peace for now.”

  “That’s not the issue, of course! The thing is to keep her within arm's length so—“

  “So you can bait the Captain if he is doing shady things?” Dew cut off his sentence; her question struck like an attack.

  A look of hesitation surfaced on the Angel’s face, but he quickly nodded after weighing his words. “Of course. Look, the medical report made some crazy discovery about her body. They found out that she had sustained a lot of fatal wounds but made an unexplained full recovery herself. Her energy level was also fully replenished, even though the captain had drained it all during the battle. That’s a superhuman ability rarely found among mortals like us humans!”

  “Yeah, so? You want to start acting like the Captain, using people left and right without a single concern for their lives!!”

  “Dew, I know you are still mourning the death of your brother, but can you be serious about the matter we are facing right now?”

  “Is that how you want to justify your motive? By being more serious. What exactly about Zun’s superhuman ability do you want to use? Is she a test subject? Want to push her to the front line? You are a senior Angel, please. She doesn’t even have half your experience.”

  “Of course I know that! I am not justifying anything, but when there is a new variant, there are new possibilities! You are way too emotional. I am just talking from a logical perspective!”

  “Then will you go to hell with that mighty logic of yours?”

  Dew took off her exorcist coat and threw it at the senior Angel. “I am not going to follow any senseless orders like that! Why do we have to bear all this baggage for a Captain that couldn’t care to protect a single Angel in battle?!! My brother died because of his recklessness and irresponsibility! And now he is scared of what? Death?! Don’t make me laugh! A man who willingly sacrificed his team is scared of death?! I refuse to be dragged by his incompetence! I REFUSE!!”

  As the argument reached a peak, someone rushed in breathlessly.

  “We got a call from Eunfeen! The House of Glory is under attack! A swarm of demons in a number we have never seen before are climbing to the top of the temple toward the main altar right now as we speak!”