In a quiet corner of the Lotus town, somewhere near the outskirt, there was a crowd of people dressed in white, flooding the open-air compound of the House of Glory. Rows of coffins with black and white photos of the deceased were brought into the main prayer hall, where mourners came with offerings of incense, flowers, and food of all kinds.

  Their gloomy faces, bloated with strains of tears watering down their front cheeks, swamped every scene like walking ghosts mumbling and rumbling. Layers of dense smoke from burning incense and spirit money clouded the air, blurring the edges in the background, until the objects eventually faded into mere silhouettes.

  As the ceremony commenced, the Teachers started to take seats in front of the columns of coffins. They were all dressed in traditional robes marked with embroidered symbols across their collars and sleeves. The Head Teacher began by ringing a handbell three times before reading out parts of the scripture line by line in a tone laced with delicacy. Slowly, the rest of the Teachers followed by means of a slow meditative chant, rhymed in deliberate unison. Their steady prayer diluted the heavy atmosphere with a perfect blend of peaceful serenity, alleviating the pain of the mourning hearts.

  Lily was among the crowd of attendees. The news of the failed Exorcist mission had quickly spread across the town and three days ago, the identities of the casualties had been revealed to the public. Seeing the victims families grieving around her, brought a feeling of loss close to home, more personal than she could even imagine. Perhaps because she knew she could easily end up becoming one of them had her husband not survived the injuries. Looking around, there were many others like her, who came to show solidarity and pay respect to the Exorcists who had lost their life in this mission.

  Rain started to drizzle down, adding a faint tinkling beat to the prayer, as if in response to the tired hearts. Lily looked remarkably pale, the socket of her eyes dug deep and hollow. She stared from one corner to another, as if in a nervous attempt to escape interaction with others, eventually lowering her glance to the floor and allowing herself to be consumed by quiet stillness throughout the whole ceremony. Like a lifeless body, she appeared frozen in thoughts, until a gentle touch stroke her back to reality, this time armed with a conversation she couldn’t escape.

  “The morning prayer is done. Do you want to join the breakfast inside?”

  Lily looked up and met the curious eyes of her neighbour, known by the name Aunty Inn. Lily gave her a polite smile and returned a brief response, “I am fine.”

  Aunty Inn let out a sigh and settled beside the lonely woman, “I’ve heard the news. Captain Koi has managed to capture many demons, including a fierce one. I am really sad for all the lives lost and very sorry to know he has been heavily wounded, too. I hope all is well with his recovery.”

  “Thank you for your kind words, Aunty.” The polite smile on Lily’s face quickly tightened like a stretched elastic, unable to maintain a genuine curve. “I really hope he would take more rest, but he is now back at work, locking himself up in the building. The death of his comrades has really taken a toll on him. He feels deeply responsible.”

  “Oh, poor Captain.” Aunty Inn shook her head and clicked her tongue. “He has always worked so hard since he was a young Exorcist. I have never seen him take a break at all. The fight has really affected everyone. Is he really going to be fine?”

  “Of course, Aunty.” Lily gave a firm response with no quiver of hesitation. “The situation is bad. The last thing we need is to doubt the strength of the organisation.”

  “Of course! Of course! For sure, I am not doubting anything!” The awkward repetition gave away her nervousness, but Lily was in no mood to entertain her emotion.

  She proceeded to stand up and make her way to the exit with a polite nod, but the older woman called out to her and chased her down, “Lily, are you off already? W-why are you always like this?!”

  The question came as an unwelcome surprise, much to the dismay of Lily, who had now assumed a defensive stance. “What do you mean? Like what?”

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  “Miserable!”

  “No, Aunty, you must be thinking too much. I am just tired.”

  “Just look at you, all sensitive and secretive! I wasn’t even trying to complain about your husband. I just want to express my concern!”

  “Aunty, I know everyone is sad and scared. That day, the rain was too loud, and the power outage was—”

  “Exactly! We lived almost 30 minutes walk away from Yang’s family, but the demonic storm was too loud! Nobody knew what was happening and no one dared to go out. Nobody informed us what to do in case of an emergency! There was no evacuation order ahead of the secret mission! Nothing to prepare us!”

  “That’s because they didn’t want us to panic. All the Angels were spread out across the town to protect us! Nobody from any household died.”

  “I know, but somebody who lived close to Yang’s family suffered from a heart attack because they were scared of all the noise! I understand you want to defend your husband, but this is a horrible oversight! We only received an apology from the Director, whom nobody has ever seen before. There is no assurance of any kind! Almost every Angel in the mission died! Families are grieving, who knows if we could be the next one!!”

  “Before you question your safety, you should know Koi is always fighting day and night with his life on the front line to protect everyone. Is this how you show your gratitude?"

  Aunty Inn was caught off guard a bit by her remark.

  “Hold on, Lily! Of course, I know it! But we, the powerless people, are scared too! We have no weapons, no means to defend ourselves! Massacres have always happened in the past. It’s like living in an expanding graveyard that wants to eat everyone! But the organisation is not transparent about how they are dealing with the threats or where the threats even come from! Who knows if all the deaths are real or a mistake!”

  “Stop COMPLAINING!” Lily’s soft-spoken tone almost turned into a shriek.

  Aunty Inn was immediately lost for words. Several people jerked out of their seats to look at the pair; some went quiet, idlily eavesdropping.

  “How selfish!” Lily exclaimed painfully, like it was ripped out of her lungs. A thin line of tears bled along the curves of her eyes. “My husband is out there facing death every day, and my daughter barely survived the mission. Yet all you can think about is how to stab an already bleeding wound. How considerate! What can you get out of this accusation?!”

  “Oh, my Lord! No, Lily! I am just expressing my concern! You can’t just shut us out! We have the right to know what kind of mess we are facing!”

  “It is not easy for anyone! I am no exception!” Lily insisted firmly.

  “Of course, I know it! But if the captain is really concerned about us, powerless people, he needs to tell us the problem! Why are you being so defensive?!”

  “If you have nothing better to say, just leave me alone!”

  Aunty Inn clicked her tongue in annoyance, “Just looked at your response, so miserable! Lily, you used to be so full of light! So compassionate! Now you are just a shell of who you used to be.”

  Lily went silent. Seeing her submissive stance, the Aunty continued, “Am I wrong? You two were such a blessed couple back in the days. Now he is just an aggressive alcoholic, and your daughter is no better! Didn’t she get possessed by a demon or what? Will she even get better?!”

  “Of course, she will!!” Lily shouted back again. “You are the bitter one! My daughter is still young, but she is already fighting a difficult mission so people like you can have a complete home! Who are you to shame her?!! Take it back!!”

  The Aunty tightened her jaw, refusing to hold back, “No way! The organisation is supposed to protect us since the beginning of time! There is nothing wrong with demanding some information! Who knows what the hell is really happening? You want to act like you are better or what? You want us all to kneel and praise your whole family or what?! Give me a break!”

  “Enough with all the ACCUSATION! You just want Koi to come out and see his wounded face with your own eyes to be satisfied! Stop sugar coating your words as concerns! TAKE IT BACK! TAKE BACK EVERY BITTER THING YOU JUST SAID!” Lily screamed at the top of her voice with an outburst of vulnerability on a loosely sane mind. “My family is perfect! We are blessed!! You just need something to blame! You all are just crazy!!”

  Their exchange had gone louder with every word, prompting the Teachers to step in and separate the pairs.

  Aunty Inn felt deeply wronged by Lily, tried to explain herself, despite the increasing crowd around them. Her urge persisted until what seemed like a look of subtle madness shot back at her. Lily, with all her insecurity and secrecy, screamed and shouted without any concern of shame. An unsettling feeling gripped Aunty Inn’s heart, like it could easily slip between her fingers, yet tingled her senses like a cry censored by pretence.

  “You…” Aunty whispered, “…you have lost yourself in someone else’s tragedy.”