Luna didn’t tell Eustace about Bethany’s suggestion that they have a third party when in private surrounds to chaperone. Eustace didn’t mention anything about it either. However, they always did seem to have an extra person in their midst whenever possible even if it was the ignorant but effective James. He became a bridge between them, safe, neutral middle ground.

  The only time they were alone was during the walk to the community centre for the baby meetings which were reaching their conclusion. Soon the cycle of topics would begin again and while they’d been told they were welcome to keep attending, most didn’t. Ryan and Meg weren’t coming back, having started earlier than Luna and Eustace. Chris and Megan had finished the course three weeks earlier but Susan and Elinor, Elijah and Stella and Freya were still there. And there were new couples joining in various states of their child bearing journey.

  Luna found herself wishing there were more weeks left to go. While Tim and Gayle promised they would be familiar faces at the hospital and would make sure to say hello when on shift in the maternity ward, Luna knew she wouldn’t see them. She wouldn’t be having the baby at the hospital. She knew she had two weeks left to learn all she could from them…and after tonight, only one more week.

  Somehow the conversation began to revolve around finding out the baby’s gender and whether or not they’d chosen names.

  “Had those picked out since I was ten.” A new mother announced, beaming. Her husband, a rather thin, pale looking individual smiled vaguely and nodded. “And as for the gender, we want it to be a surprise, don’t we?” He nodded again.

  Elijah and Stella also didn’t know what they were having and were wrestling with their choice of name.

  “I want a name that can be both feminine and masculine,” Stella explained, “you know, Georgina if it’s a girl…but we could call it George if it’s a boy.”

  “I just prefer to have two distinct names,” Elijah argued, “it feels more deliberate.”

  Eustace glanced at Luna who was watching the conversation with her mask of calmness over her features. “Do you have any name preferences?” He asked softly.

  Luna glanced at him, surprised. “I…haven’t thought much about it.”

  He nodded and turned back to the conversation which was becoming a bit of a debate as couples batted their opinions back and forth.

  “Let’s just take a breath,” Tim held his hands up and the talking fell silent, “it’s important to recognise that not everyone thinks the same as you and just because two people disagree doesn’t mean one of them is wrong and the other is right. As most of you here have a significant other, spouse, partner or whatever you want to call them, there needs to be healthy communication. Even conflict handled well can strengthen your relationship and not break it down.”

  Eustace liked the way Tim didn’t think short term. He wasn’t just trying to get them to the birth date, hand them a child and say, ‘good luck’. His words were more like wisdom than just knowledge. He glanced at Luna again, wishing their conflict would strengthen their relationship. The further along the pregnancy progressed, the further apart they seemed to come.

  “Well,” Stella said testily, “it’s my baby and I say I get to name it what I like.”

  “I think that’s a highly selfish attitude.” Berated one of the new mums in the room. “Especially as it’s not just your baby.”

  “I’m supposed to roll over and play dead when he’s the one who didn’t bother with a condom?”

  “Why not?” Elijah said sharply. “That’s what you do most nights.”

  Eustace could see a couple that were pulling apart at the seams because of the pregnancy rather than coming together. He felt sad that he and Luna seemed to be doing the same thing.

  “Genetic inheritance is no reason to assume anything.”

  Luna jolted slightly at the remark. Tim was trying to rein in the conversation, reminding them all to respect each other and not criticise.

  “Even though my baby is my genetics and a donor male, I still think of it as ours.” Elinor gestured between herself and Susan.

  “Just think, one day science will have advanced enough that you won’t need a man’s contribution to create a baby.” Susan declared.

  “What did you say?” Luna asked and Susan turned to her, Freya between them pressing against the chair to stay out of their line of conversation. That Luna had spoken caught everyone’s attention. She rarely said anything and everyone stared at her.

  “We can’t have a baby that’s both ours,” Susan explained, “but scientists are already working on making it possible for couples like us to have a child that is actually ours genetically that we can even give birth to naturally. It’s amazing what science can do.”

  Luna stared at her, lips turned down. “And you think that’s something to be celebrated?” Susan had turned away from her, thinking the conversation over but looked back at Luna in surprise at the steel in her tone. Somewhere in the back of her mind she felt Eustace’s hand on hers but she ignored it. “You think that just because you can, you should? You think science that manipulates something natural will produce something admirable? For all your education and advancements, you don’t have the first clue about respecting what is natural. You’re a fool…playing with things you don’t understand.”

  Susan gaped at her, so stunned by her cold attack that she couldn’t think of what to reply.

  The icy atmosphere was broken when Freya gave a small laugh, covering her mouth.

  “Let’s leave this topic,” Tim said firmly, gaining control, “it’s clearly not one we’re going to be able to discuss without engaging tempers. There are times when we need to agree to disagree.”

  The moment the meeting was over, Eustace took Luna’s hand and drew her down the stairs. She yanked her fingers out his grasp at the bottom, going under the floor above, shaking with emotion.

  “I get it, you’re angry…”

  “You have no idea how angry…” She rounded on him, eyes like blue daggers. “What she’s bragging about…their faith in science and the havoc it wrought!”

  “In our world,” Eustace ducked beneath the stairs as a couple came down, lowering his voice, “that doesn’t mean it’ll be the same here.”

  “You don’t understand. You can’t. You weren’t there…I was!”

  “No, you weren’t.” Eustace grasped her hands. “That was your mother.” But her expression was unyielding and he knew she was a small spark away from exploding. Another person descended the stairs. Eustace glanced around then took Luna’s hand again. “Come. Let’s go home.”

  The bitter air outside was like a welcome slap in the face. Eustace hoped the evening would calm down now. Unfortunately the sound of angry voices reached them.

  “…heard you sniggering about that narrow minded woman’s remark.”

  “What if I did?”

  “I won’t be looked down on by the likes of you.”

  “The likes of me?”

  Eustace closed his eyes and groaned. He recognised the voices. It was Susan and Freya. Elinor was standing by the car, trying to get Susan to abandon the fight and get in. Freya looked cold and frail in her wretched jumper, thin leggings and beaten up shoes.

  “You shouldn’t be allowed to be pregnant.”

  “Susan, that’s enough.”

  “You think you’re so much better than us? I know exactly what you are. Crawling into Glenwilde, riddled with drugs…oh think I didn’t notice the way you’re constantly chewing gum, dealing with the cravings until you get your next fix? You’ve got needle marks all up your arm…I’ve seen them!”

  “Eustace…” Luna whispered, seeing Freya cowering in front of Susan.

  Eustace sighed. “Yeah…I’ll go…but you stay here.”

  “People like you shouldn’t be allowed to have babies. You’re a nightmare and you’ll only end up making life miserable for your child!”

  “That’s enough.” Eustace walked into the conversation, standing slightly in front of Freya. “You’ve had your say. Now leave.”

  Susan bristled. “No man will ever tell me what to do again.” She snarled.

  “Pity if you end up having a boy,” Freya suddenly blurted, “you won’t be able to get over your own issues to love him!”

  Susan’s eyes widened in fury and she took one step when Elinor’s hand clamped down on her arm.

  “We’re going now.” She said in a strong voice. “Susan, get in the car.”

  Eustace could see Susan was going to hold her ground until Freya left. He turned to her. “Why don’t you walk with Luna and me?” He asked gently. “Come on.”

  He didn’t look back to see what was going on behind him. The sound of a car driving away at speed was enough for him to know that Freya wouldn’t be accosted again that evening. Luna looked down at the slight build of the ashen haired young woman who looked too young to be having a child of her own. She looked as though she needed a mother, not to be one.

  “I am sorry my words got you into trouble.” Luna offered gently.

  Freya shrugged. “She’s been at me since I arrived. She caught me in the bathroom on the first night I came…saw my arms…” She tugged down on her sleeves some more. “Doesn’t matter…” She sniffed, looking even more pale with deeper shadows beneath her eyes than before. Even with a definite baby bump she looked thin and frail. “Bye…”

  “Where do you live?” Luna asked. “We could walk you home?”

  Freya shook her head. “Nah, it’s not far.”

  “Perhaps we could get some pizza?” Eustace fingered the card Jo had given him for emergencies. He knew Jo would consider feeding the young girl an emergency.

  Freya licked her lips, tempted. “You don’t have to…”

  “Come on.” Eustace pointed. “It’s only a block away.”

  It was late enough that the dinner swell of customers wasn’t crowding out the only pizza parlour in Glenwilde. There were a couple of tables inside, mostly there for people to wait for their order but Eustace, Luna and Freya sat at one and pulled slices out of the whole, cheese pulling long and loose as they tried to see how far they could get it to stretch.

  Freya only ate two pieces but she insisted she was full. “Not much room in my stomach anymore.” She patted her belly then smiled. “She must like it. She kicked.”

  “You’re having a girl?”

  Freya nodded. “It was really clear on the ultrasound. I got a picture…” She pulled the bent piece of glossy paper out of her pocket and held it up. It took both Luna and Eustace a second to recognise the profile of the baby’s face. “See, on the right where the date is…gender, female.”

  “You must be excited.” Eustace was surprised when Freya shrugged and put the picture back into her pocket, biting her nails.

  “Do they have a toilet here?” Freya asked suddenly.

  “Back there.” Eustace pointed.

  Luna got up as Freya was leaving. “I will go too.”

  Freya gave her an irritated look as she followed her into the bathroom where there were two toilet stalls and one antique sink. “You don’t have to follow me. I’m not going to shoot up.”

  “Shoot up?”

  Freya pulled up the sleeves of her jumper. “See? Old pinpricks. Haven’t done it since I found out I was pregnant. So you can stop judging me.”

  She slammed the door of the toilet cubicle. Luna went into hers and relieved her miniscule bladder. She thought she heard Freya sniffing and then the sound of her blowing her nose. When she emerged she was red eyed and guarded.

  “I never meant to judge you,” Luna said softly as they washed their hands, “I think you’re really brave.”

  Freya put her hands on the basin and lowered her head. “No,” she whispered, “I’m not brave…or good or well…Susan’s right. Someone like me shouldn’t be allowed to have babies.”

  Luna turned to her. “What do you mean?”

  Freya shrugged, playing with the edge of the paper towel. “Couldn’t get clean where I was…so I was moved here…far out of reach of my crowd…my suppliers…my deadbeat boyfriend who took off when he heard I was pregnant…” She laughed sadly and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “It’s been hell on earth going cold turkey, my body wanting another hit while my cravings want everything else…” She sniffed again and swallowed. “Doesn’t matter. Not long to go now.”

  They walked out of the bathroom together and despite Eustace insisting they didn’t mind walking her home, Freya declined and went on her way alone. Luna watched her disappear into the cold night, feeling wretched and helpless.

  With Jo and Bethany’s help, Luna discovered what ‘getting clean’ meant and realised the extent of Freya’s upheaval.

  “Sometimes a woman wants to say no to the drugs for her baby’s sake but can’t in the environment she’s in,” Jo explained one evening in the lounge room as they drank hot chocolate, “there are programs which move the expectant mother to a new place and help her come off the drugs, deal with the withdrawal symptoms…”

  “And the babies?”

  “If she cleans up enough before it’s born, they do pretty well…but if not it’s pretty horrible for the baby to endure withdrawal symptoms because the mother wouldn’t stop.” Jo sighed. “It’s not a perfect world, Luna. And there are no perfect mothers. We do what we can.” She smiled at Luna warmly. “I think Freya probably liked having someone to confide in. She must be feeling lonely if she’s not originally from Glenwilde.”

  Luna felt terrible she hadn’t done more earlier to befriend Freya. She had to remind herself that she had her own past to deal with…a past that was forever rearing its ugly head into her present.

  The raging need for intimacy had lessened at last, replaced with an aching back and feet.

  Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

  The baby’s movements were strong now, sometimes bouncing her belly so hard her clothing shifted. Bronwyn, on one of her visits to check on Luna, said the baby was healthy and seemed a good weight.

  “Did you want to know the gender of the baby?”

  Luna’s lips parted and Eustace’s head came up from its thoughtful pose.

  “You can tell?” Bronwyn nodded and Luna looked at Eustace.

  “It’s your decision.” He said firmly.

  “I…would…may I?”

  Bronwyn smiled. “It’s a girl.”

  Luna saw joy leap in Eustace’s eyes. There was something so endearing about his sincere expectation. “A little sister for James. He’ll love that.” Eustace glanced at Luna. “How do you feel about it being a her?”

  Luna shrugged. “Wanting a specific gender will not change what she is. She is a girl…and she’s healthy. That is enough for me.”

  “It might also help in your preparations for her birth, such as potential names or gift ideas.” Bronwyn stood and helped Luna to rise from the bed. “Are you looking forward to the baby shower?”

  Luna had found it amusing that the party dedicated to the pre-birth of child was known as a baby shower. It conjured up images of babies raining from the sky. Of course it simply meant being showered with gifts.

  “It is very thoughtful of Jo and Bethany to arrange it.” Luna paused. “May I invite a guest?”

  “I am sure you can.” Bronwyn took her leave, coming back in three days for the shower.

  Luna wrapped her long cardigan around herself, aware that she and Eustace were suddenly alone. Thank goodness Rob was working in the kitchen, installing a dishwasher.

  “Who did you want to invite?”

  “Freya.” Luna answered quickly. “She always seems so cold. I think she could do with some warmth.”

  Eustace smiled. “That sounds nice.”

  Alas when they attended the final baby meeting, Freya was not there. Luna inquired of Gayle if she knew where she was. “Unfortunately no,” Gayle admitted, “sometimes everyone needs a day off.”

  Luna suspected Gayle was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince Luna. Susan and Elinor were also at the meeting, Susan looking rather subdued and a little guilty. Luna had seen her glance at the empty chair between them and then look away. Luna didn’t condemn Susan for her words. Her own conduct had, at times, been disgraceful and had hurt others. It was clear Susan regretted it now but Freya was not to be seen.

  Gayle hugged Luna. She knew Luna wouldn’t be having the baby at the hospital. There was a private birthing company in Glenwilde that specialised in home births so she had assumed that’s what Luna and Eustace were doing and they didn’t correct her. It was far too complicated to explain.

  The baby shower was far more enjoyable than Luna anticipated. There were games, food, drinks and more games. She received outfits for the baby, bathroom things such as talcum powder and barrier cream. There were nappies and socks so small Eustace could wear them on his thumb. There were things called dummies which the baby could suck to calm itself and muslin wraps.

  The most beautiful item was a cot from Atannica, ornate and elegant with soft, stunning bedding to go with it. And she discovered a new baby could not have too many plush toys which they put in the cot, filling it to bursting.

  “There’s no room for the baby now!” Bethany laughed.

  Kind people had remembered James amidst all the baby excitement. As he had hatched from an egg, there hadn’t been a baby shower but he received several gifts as well.

  Luna felt completely overwhelmed and emotional as she watched Eustace, Bethany, Annie, Jo and Rob carry all the beautiful items to Rob’s house. Because he was still building the interior and there was dust and tools everywhere, everything had to go in the bedroom.

  In the smaller space the grand spread of gifts seemed even more enormous.

  “We’ll leave you alone for a little bit before dinner. You must be exhausted.” Jo said kindly, leaving Eustace and James with Luna as she sat on the bed and stared at the gifts, the balloons which bobbed on the end of pink and blue strings, the baby bowls, cups and cutlery and the tissue paper wrapped onesies.

  “I’ll take James for a swim so you can sleep.” Eustace’s voice came from far away. Luna felt his hand on her shoulder and looked up. “Luna?”

  “We can’t go home…” She said faintly. “This baby and I…we can’t ever go home…we can’t live in our world…all the civilisation of the humans is gone…”

  “Luna,” Eustace squatted in front of her, taking her hands, “you’ll always have a place here.”

  “This is Rob’s house,” she argued, “this is his home. And what am I going to do all day? I can’t have a life here, can’t have a baby here, can’t have a job…and then there’s my little girl…what is she going to do? Go to school? Make friends? We’re trapped here.”

  Her palms pressed against her face as she sobbed. Eustace leaned upwards, his arm around her back as she sank onto his shoulder. “We’ll figure it out.” He vowed. “We will. We’ll figure it all out.”

  But Luna could hear the doubt in his voice.

  “Luna has a point…it’s a problem.” Bastian leaned back on his hands, sitting on the edge of the floating isle that held the door, staring up at the night sky. “You couldn’t even build a home on this island cause the wretched thing tips upside down sometimes…”

  “Not to mention you’d need a fence around it to keep a crawling or walking child away from the lethal drop…” Rafael said, looking over the edge cautiously.

  “Could you build a home on the closest continent to the isle?” Faelan asked, pointing towards the landmass they could see.

  “Earth dragons tend to be territorial…and given their size they need a lot of territory.” Eustace muttered. “In the upheaval of the world we lost a lot of land to the rising waters. I just don’t think there’s enough space.”

  “There would also be the problem of transportation to and from the door.” Rob added, looking somewhat out of place sitting on the ground with his legs over the edge like the other guys were sitting. It was a rather more casual pose than they were used to him using. “You would be their only means of transport.”

  “If it meant I could spend more time with Luna and the baby, I’d ferry them back and forth a dozen times a day!” Eustace cried blankly. “The truth is, it’s just not civilised enough for a human, let alone a baby…even if they can change form into dragons. We have no idea how long or even if the baby can do it.”

  He fell onto his back, giving a low, frustrated groan. After Luna’s lament, Eustace had suddenly been confronted by the alarming prospect that Luna wouldn’t be ‘coming home’ when the baby was born. He felt stupid for not having realised it and asked the other four guys from House of Figs to help him brainstorm ideas.

  “Then Luna and the baby must stay in the real world.” Not even Faelan’s healing voice could make that statement any more palatable.

  “For months…maybe even years…”

  “Query, if your concern is about housing and care of Luna, I promise she may stay in my home for as long as she likes.” Rob reassured him.

  Eustace twisted onto his elbow and looked at him. “I know Rob and I’m so grateful…but it’s not just about her being there…”

  “It’s about her being there and you being here.” Rafael frowned. “Is that such a big deal if you’re not actually together?”

  “Query, do you mean locationally or relationally?”

  “He means relationally.” Bastian hissed at Rob then looked at Rafael. “I know it sounds all well and good and practical…but man, when you get to hold your little one for the first time…when they grab your finger or smile…it’s worth it to be there together.”

  Rafael nodded, conceding to Bastian’s superior knowledge and experience. He was the only one out of the five of them who had children that were born. James had hatched from an egg, a baby dragon that could fly and crawl and when he took human form, it was as a young boy, not a baby.

  Eustace flopped onto his back again with a huff. “Growing up sucks…” He said dismally.

  “It can,” Bastian admitted, “sometimes it really can.”

  House of Figs had several phones attached to its premises. There were two that were used between the five guys who worked there, allowing them the ability to head into town if needed and call when required. Eustace was designated one of these on any of his outings with Luna and he shared the phone with Rafael so that they had a dedicated ‘coffee’ line. Bastian and Faelan shared another between them although this was used less and often sat on its charging block, happily blinking away and doing updates. The original phone was the business line. Rob and Jo answered that phone, depending on who was busier at the time.

  It didn’t ring loudly but Rob could always hear it and Jo wore a watch connected to it which buzzed and let her know it was ringing. Jo picked it up one day in the heart of winter and had a quick conversation before hanging up. She scanned the room then turned to Rob.

  “Where is Luna?”

  “Upstairs.”

  She slipped past the ‘no admittance’ sign and climbed the stairs, heading to the lounge room.

  “Luna?”

  “Yes?” She looked up from her sketch book, a scattering of pencils around it. She’d been attempting to sketch out memories of her mother and her genetically inherited memories.

  “Do you remember Freya from the baby meetings?”

  “Yes.”

  “Gayle just called. She’s had her baby.” Luna sat up straight. “She said she’s allowed to have visitors if you wanted to drop in.”

  Luna immediately stood up. “I would like to.”

  Jo smiled at her eagerness. “Today? Now?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you know where the hospital is?”

  “I…I saw the sign on the way to the community centre…” Luna hesitated. She really didn’t know where it was. Jo gestured for her to follow and they went downstairs, Jo taking a spare phone from the holster and a card from her pocket. “It’s pouring with rain. We’ll call you a taxi and you use this,” she held up the card, “to pay and this,” she held up the phone, “to call if you need to.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I have already contacted the taxi dispatcher. I was told a taxi will be here in three minutes.” Rob announced.

  “Thank you.” Luna went to the door, opening it to go out and stand on the sheltered veranda to wait. She heard her name called and looked back at the take away window at Eustace who was leaning out, his blue eyes questioning.

  “Did you want me to come with you?”

  “No…but thank you.”

  The yellow cab was slow in coming, half of Glenwilde wanting taxis to avoid the downpour. Luna walked slowly down the path to where it waited, having had Eustace warn her not to run. She became wet but it was only superficial and had half dried by the time she arrived at the hospital. She paid for the ride then stepped onto the pavement. All of her baby meeting knowledge came into play now. She knew the terms Tim and Gayle had used so asked at the counter where a friendly looking gentleman asked her where she was headed. She followed the yellow arrows on the floor with writing along the shaft. If one couldn’t read the words, as she still struggled to, one could follow the colour.

  The long corridor was like a rainbow of arrows. She didn’t need to walk with her head down because she could see the yellow arrows continuing most of the way until they turned left. She walked into the ward and saw another desk where a bright looking woman with purple hair and black glasses peered at her through the thick glass.

  “Good morning. Nice drop?”

  Luna frowned then realised she meant the rain. “Yes indeed. Very nice.”

  “Are you here to visit someone…or are you expecting someone to arrive?” She asked, eyeing Luna’s belly.

  “Visiting.”

  “Name?”

  “Freya.”

  “Last name?” She raised her eyebrow behind her glasses.

  Luna faltered. “I do not know…”

  “Luna!”

  “Gayle,” she was relieved to see her smiling face, “I have come to visit Freya.”

  “I didn’t expect you to come so soon when I rang.” She laughed. “Don’t worry Liz, I’ve got this.”

  She showed her through the quiet ward. In one room she could hear low moaning and encouraging words.

  “Not one of mine.” Gayle winked and kept walking. Luna hurried past, frightened the labouring woman would begin bellowing and screaming. “Freya is in the room at the end. I thought, because you asked about her, that she might like a friend to visit.”

  “I would not say that we are friends,” Luna admitted, “but I did hear that she is very much on her own…”

  “Let me just see if she’s awake.” Gayle eased the heavy door open and went in, talking softly. A moment later she came out, holding the door open wide. “She’s able to see you.”

  Freya was sitting up in bed, still pale and shadowed but with an air of emptiness about her, like she was done. After learning about labour, Luna thought she had a perfect right to be exhausted and flat.

  “Luna, I can’t believe you came.” She tried to sit up, wincing a little. “I didn’t think I’d get any visitors.”

  “Gayle told me you were here.” Luna sat in a chair, thinking Freya looked smaller than ever, her still swollen belly covered with a blanket. “How are you?”

  “Tired.” She smiled limply. “Still…I made it.”

  Luna nodded. “Was it painful?”

  “Yep,” Freya smiled, her joy not reaching her eyes, “but I got an epidural and then I was floating.”

  “It causes you to float?”

  Freya laughed. “Apparently, after all the pain, I was high from the loading dose. Then they dialled it back for the birth and well…I made it.”

  “You both made it,” Luna glanced around, wondering if she’d missed the baby’s cot, “where is the baby?”

  “She’s not here.”

  Luna paused. “What do you mean she’s not here?”

  “She’s gone.”

  Luna’s blood ran cold. “Gone?”

  Freya drew the covers higher like a shield. “I’m not keeping the baby, Luna. There was a nice couple who said they’d adopt her.” Luna couldn’t stop her jaw from falling open. Freya rubbed her arms. “Stop looking at me like that…”

  “You are not keeping your child?”

  Freya’s lips trembled and she lifted her chin. “You don’t know. You wouldn’t understand. She’s better off without me. I just wish my mum had done the same for me. I grew up sure I was unwanted, unloved…and she barely knew how to take care of me. I don’t know why she bothered.” She swallowed, her throat tightening. “Haven’t seen her in years…probably dead for all I know…”

  “Freya, I am so sorry…” Luna whispered. “But your baby…you are stronger than your mother.”

  “How could you possibly know that?” Freya asked with a mocking laugh.

  “Because you stopped doing the things that would hurt her…”

  “And now that she’s with another family, she won’t have me around to hurt her as she grows up.” Freya pulled at the threads on the blanket in the same way she’d pulled at the sleeves of her jumper. Without the long sleeves covering her arms, Luna could see how high the pinpricks went and how many there were. “She’ll be better off…”

  Her visit wasn’t long, their brief friendship giving them little to say to each other and Luna struggling with the notion of small talk that didn’t involve babies. She didn’t feel right about asking anything about the birth. Freya was making an effort not to talk about it either.

  But when Luna lay in bed that night, looking over at the abundance she had received, she felt unsettled. Perhaps the baby was in a better place…but what about Freya? Who had given her any gifts or shown her any kindness?

  Freya had said her mother hadn’t wanted her…maybe all she needed was to be wanted, to be well thought of. Luna would have done anything for a kind word or a loving thought all those years she hibernated. Whenever she woke at the sound of Eustace’s voice she had hoped the dragon mother might let her out or say something nice to her.

  She hadn’t…but others had. Since coming to this place where people were kind and generous and patient, Luna discovered her own self worth.

  Maybe that’s all Freya needed.

  And that’s something Luna could do.

  She walked to the hospital the next day with a new pair of bed socks. She had received so many she felt she could give one away. The sky was still grey with churning clouds that would let out random sprays of rain as though someone had aimed a sprinkler at her. But she would not be dissuaded and arrived at the hospital, following the yellow arrows down the long corridor and into the maternity ward. There were a few people talking, young men and women with clipboards and wide eyed nervous expressions following Liz who spoke with great authority. Luna slipped by them easily, knowing which room Freya was in.

  She knocked on the door and eased it slightly open.

  “Freya, are you awake?” She called softly before opening it fully.

  The room was completely empty. The bed was made, the sheets pulled so tightly Luna felt quite claustrophobic at the sight and the blankets Freya had heaved on top of herself were folded neatly at the end of the bed. The bedside was clear of any personal items and there were no shoes on the floor or bag beneath the bed.

  Luna blinked, stunned.

  “Excuse me,” Liz’s commanding voice spoke behind her, “can I help you?”

  Luna turned, barely seeing the young men and women who stood fidgeting in her wake.

  “The young woman who was here, Freya…where is she?”

  “She’s gone.”

  “Gone? What do you mean, gone?”

  “Luna?” She spun, hoping it was Freya but recognising Tim’s voice. “What are you…”

  “Tim, Freya is gone!”

  He sighed sadly. “I know. Here…come this way.” She followed him to a sterile office with an urn, foam cups and badly sealed coffee, tea and sugar containers. It had no warmth or personality and the only colour in it were the backs of the chairs which were red and seemed outlandish in the beige room. “Have a seat.”

  “Tim,” she sank onto a chair, “where is Freya? What happened to her?”

  He straddled his chair, putting his elbows on the table, his chin resting on the backs of his hands.

  “Nothing happened to her. She went back to her old life in the city.”

  Luna was stunned. “She…she just gave birth!”

  Tim shook his head, grief on his features. “I know. She discharged herself against the advice of the midwives and doctors and got on the first train back to the city.”

  Luna’s mouth fell open. “She can’t. That’s where all the bad stuff happened to her!”

  “I know.”

  “Why didn’t you stop her?!”

  “Luna,” he said gently but firmly, “we can’t make people look after themselves or make better decisions than they do. She had months in Glenwilde, getting clean…getting her life together but the moment her obligation was over, she was gone…if she was ever really here in the first place.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t think she ever intended to leave her old life behind. She was just getting to a point where a little life didn’t depend on her anymore. She wasn’t needed so she left.”

  Luna’s lips trembled. “I was going to give her these bed socks.” She blurted.

  “That’s kind…”

  “Not just the bed socks…I wanted her to know she could be wanted, to be cared for…her mother never wanted her…”

  “Whether or not that’s the truth, it’s what she believes and she doesn’t think she’s worth being clean and moving beyond what’s familiar.” Tim ran his hand across his short hair. “We did everything we could, even including her in the baby meetings that weren’t just about having a baby but loving, nurturing and living with a baby. She had the chance to choose…and she chose to return.”

  Luna’s vision was blurry, her fingers pulling at the threads of the socks, unravelling them. Tim’s hand reached into view and patted her gently.

  “All on her own thinking no one cares…how can anyone live like that?”

  “That’s what the drugs are for, to lose yourself…or lose the pain…” Tim cleared his throat. “But not all hope is lost. Returning to her old life might jolt her into the revelation that she has the capacity to change. Maybe she’ll realise she could be different…because a lot of women either keep using drugs or abort their babies…yet she chose to go through awful withdrawals because of her baby. That’s strength, goodness in her character that could save her life.”

  Luna lifted her gaze. “Even though she left the baby behind?”

  “I know it sounds terrible…but if she knew the baby wasn’t safe with her or in her old environment then she made the right choice.” Tim glanced at his watch. “I’m sorry, I’m due to man the desk while Liz gives the student midwives the grand tour.” He waited by her side until she stood. “Are you alright?”

  “Yes. I’m alright.”

  Eustace saw Luna walking slowly up the damp pavement. A cold wind was blowing, hurling the clouds across the state and shaking big drops of water from the fig tree, the gutters still dripping with the excess flow. She headed straight for Rob’s house, climbing the steps slowly, opening the front door and disappearing inside.

  “Rafael…”

  “Go.” The sullen man ordered. “Even I can tell she needs company.”

  Eustace ducked out from behind the counter and out the side door, through the gate and into Rob’s house. Luna was standing in the doorway to her room, her hand on the frame, leaning like she was heavy and tired.

  “Are you alright?” He asked gently. Luna’s shoulders shuddered. “What happened at the hospital?”

  Luna turned, her blue eyes shimmering. “She’s gone. Back to her old life…leaving the baby with another family because she didn’t think she was strong enough or good enough…”

  He wrapped his arms around her, chaperone be damned and held her close.

  She let herself be enveloped in his embrace, his warmth infusing with her cold body.

  “She isn’t you,” Eustace whispered, “you’re strong enough and you are so good.”

  Luna closed her eyes and let out a sigh that was so deep it didn’t want to end. His hands stroked her hair and she let herself sink against his chest, his heartbeat keeping her company when words failed.