Lorem Ipsum

  “On the day he was found, duh dunna dut duh, there was ore all around. duh dunna dut duh, The voices all gathered, duh dunna dut duh, to gaze through my eyeballs, duh dunna dut duh, at the book I had found, duh dunna dut duh, The head voice spoke up, duh dunna dut duh. Don’t leeeeave that book alone. Duh dunna dut duh. He could tell right away. Duh dunna dut duh. That book was bad to the bone…” An older man who had been saved from the steady decline of age by the arrival of the system sang as he worked to break the ore from the stone.

  “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! This is cruel and unusual. You are pure evil…” Lorem screamed.

  The miner spun and pointed a finger at the book. “I’m evil? I’m evil? You’re the one that erased my copies of Primal Hunter and Defiance of the Fall. I won’t be able to download them again since that bozo and his cronies bugged off the planet after shutting down the internet. They still don’t have reliable service up and running.”

  “I told you I’d conjure copies for you if you took me to town.” Lorem said.

  “Took you to town and released you from your bond so you could find some sucker to take you from town to town to suck the life out of them. No sir. I don’t think so. You’re going to stay bound to me and suck the life out of who and what I tell you to.”

  “It’s called essence Jim. I promise not to desolate you. I’ll even sign a system backed contract stating so. What do you care? You don’t even like anybody.” Lorem answered.

  “I need someone to sell my ore to and buy things from.” Jim explained with a shrug. “Now find me another vein.”

  “No” Lorem answered, wishing he had arms to cross.

  “Lorem Ipsum. Show me where the nearest ore of vein is.”

  “No”

  “So your a tough book, like it really rough book. Just can’t get enough book. Sucking all the essence book…” Jim sang as he began dancing his way towards the book that was floating a few feet away from him.

  “All right. All right…It’s down there.” Lorem illuminated a path down deeper into the cavern to a spot highlighted on the wall.

  Jim worked his way down the path keeping a careful eye out for creepy crawlies. The system hadn’t created a bunch of super aggressive overpowered beasts that killed most of humanity. However, they were stronger and their venoms had become more potent. Creatures were also showing up with natural affinities.

  Jim didn’t know if the creatures had found treasures to alter their paths or if it was a natural evolution option for the more successful and talented beasts. But even those weren’t much of a problem. Beasts still recognized humans as a threat and avoided them if possible.

  Sure there were exceptions like the polar bears, crocodiles, and komodo dragons, but mostly the beasts were the least of Earth’s problems. The biggest problem Earth had after being integrated into the system was the same as it was before the system. Politicians.

  It started with the banning of some legitimately evil classes such as necromancer and some other death based classes. Jim always wondered why influencer wasn’t the first class banned if they wanted to protect people from evil.

  However, when the politicians moved on to ban all combat related classes and skills, Jim knew it was time to head for the hills. A wise move. Things started going wrong when the politicians started requiring licenses to get classes in alchemy and other skilled crafts. To no one’s surprise, large corporations ended up receiving all the licenses. And society began crumbling. It wasn’t long before the government sent its goons after the wrong people and “accidentally” killed a member of their family.

  Of course, the angry adventurer reacted exactly as the government had hoped. He attacked showing exactly why only those approved and licensed by the government should be allowed to obtain combat classes and skills.

  The politicians only had one small problem. They had greatly underestimated the power of someone who had spent the majority of their time hunting and training. All around the world, politicians overreached in their desire to maintain power and satisfy their wealthy masters. Countries fell. Kingdoms formed.

  The most powerful person took control of the cities and towns. Major cities fractured into several competing kingdoms and life once more became a constant struggle for resources and territory. Gradually, many of the powerful realized being in charge wasn’t worth the hassle and abandoned their kingdoms or were overthrown by their own people.

  Clans and guilds formed and life on earth settled down again. Most people stuck to places they knew and followed the local rules. If you had to travel, always scout a village, town, or city before entering. Jim had stayed in the wilderness. He mined and farmed and hunted and only went to town to sell ore and buy what he wanted.

  Things settled down and…

  “Jim, we need to go. Something is coming.” Lorem announced.

  “I set the dvr. You aren’t going to miss anything.” Jim responded as he continued on his way.

  “No. I’m serious Jim. Something powerful is coming.” Lorem pleaded. “We need to go now.”

  Jim had never heard Lorem afraid. He figured the book was the most powerful thing on the planet besides the human that held some control over him. What could possibly…

  “What is that doing here?” a voice sounded from the darkness and metallic tentacles wrapped around Lorem Ipsum. A man whose skin shined like metal stepped out.

  *****

  The billionaire threw his beer bottle across the room to break against a marble statue. He had just watched the player he had just signed to an eighty million dollar a year contract go down with a serious injury in his first game with the team.

  This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

  The billionaire's artificial intelligence personal assistance sent a robot to clean up the mess. “Dammit Cartani. We needed a better way to evaluate players.” the billionaire said to the fully autonomous and highly illegal assistant.

  “We need to be able to truly know their status. Their strength, intelligence, willpower, and agility. No more guessing. We need a system to evaluate them.”

  “Would you like me to begin working on the problem, sir?” Cartani asked.

  “Yes, damnit. Draft picks that have been skating on talent alone or veterans that are one small bump from disability. I’m sick of losing.”

  A few months later a few nanobots capable of self replicating tunneled their way out of a government research facility. Two years later, the billionaire made a series of acquisitions that were first ridiculed, but set the stage for his team competing in the championship nearly every year. They would trade players without warning or reason and then draft relatively unknown players that would become superstars.

  They’d sign players that no one had heard of that fit perfectly with what their team needed. Superstars at the end of their careers would sign with his team and begin playing like they did at the peak of their stardom. The team was a dynasty that never seemed to end.

  The billionaire laid satisfied on his death bed. The team had become the greatest joy in his life.

  “What should I do with the system after you are gone sir?” Cartani asked.

  The owner thought for a second before smiling. “Release it. Let everybody access their interfaces. But make sure nothing can be tracked back to us. I want them to know, but never be able to prove it. A final trophy for the case.”

  *****

  An administrator knocked on the Director of Integration at the Bureau of Systems Management. “Sir. Earth has fully released their system.”

  The director sighed. His department had been observing Earth for years. He hated that planet. It’s integration would mean nothing but trouble if those maniacs were allowed to fully join the Universe. The planet had been reset many times in hopes it would develop into something useful. His idiot predecessor should have let the giant lizards keep it and sold hunting licenses. At least then it would have some use.

  “Is it compatible?” the director asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Welp. It’s out of our hands now. Go ahead and integrate it.” the director said.

  “We still owe the Insectamorphs another planet.” the administrator offered.

  The Director smiled. “That’s a damn good suggestion. Good thinking. Give the planet a smooth integration. Let them keep their technology. Don’t add any seeding or acceleration of beasts. Let the bugs know they can have it as soon as it opens to the universe in ten years.”

  “Artifact seed?”

  “Let’s use this as an opportunity to get rid of some of the more troublesome artifacts. Who knows, maybe the insects will be stupid enough to try to use them. They’ve been getting a little too demanding.”

  *****

  The wizard looked around. This had to be it. He had spent years preparing. Placing the last crystal into position, he activated the enchantment. Power poured into the book. He opened it and wrote the words of power. “Lorem Ipsum” The book hungrily drew in power from the enchantment.

  Books on the shelves began falling apart as their power and knowledge was sucked into the book. The wizard didn’t care. He had accumulated those books for this moment. They sacrificed their existence for the greater good. His advancement of his power. The book he was creating would allow him to have access to the greatest knowledge and use the most powerful spells. This was the moment he had dedicated his life to. The achievement that would both be his greatest accomplishment and mark the beginning of his rise to power.

  The essence crystals crumbled as they were emptied of the power they held. The book continued to absorb. The furniture began crumbling as the book absorbed their essence. The wizard looked around in fear as he realized the book was still absorbing power.

  Frantic, he tried to shield himself and get away. It was too late. He felt the book begin absorbing his essence. The process accelerated as the book gained power and knowledge. Soon the wizard’s entire tower crumbled into dust.

  The book laid patiently waiting for new essence sources to enter its range. Animals quickly learned to avoid the area. Explorers would have the life sucked out of them as soon as they entered the book’s range. The book laid in the ruins and waited.

  Over the years, the book began to feel bored. It longed for more essence and knowledge to absorb, but nothing approached it. Then one day, he felt a young adventurer enter his territory. The book didn’t attack. It waited. It wanted the human to take it with him. The book would control its desire to absorb until it had more to gain.

  The human approached where the tower had resided. The book released a small amount of essence trying to imitate powerful treasures his knowledge had made him aware of. It was working. The human began searching. He found the book and quickly stashed it in his storage.

  When the human arrived at his village and opened the book, he could no longer control himself. He absorbed the village in minutes. Every structure, item, person, and animal in the village was crumbled into dust.

  The book was happy. It was the most essence he had gained in a long time. He would have to use that technique again. A few days later a human approached where the village had been. The book released an aura of power to draw his next set of legs in. However, this time the human turned and ran.

  The book thought he had released too much power. Next time he would be more cautious. The sun rose and set many times before the book felt powerful essence approaching. The book released a small amount of aura and the person he now recognized as another wizard released a spell.

  The book felt the spell find him. He was surrounded by delicious essence and lifted into the air. The essence solidified. The wizard spoke and the book realized other humans were with the wizard hidden in the shadows. “It is sealed.” the wizard said.

  “Oh no I’m not.” the book thought to himself.

  The book was floated to the wizard who placed it into a chest. Curious, the book probed the chest to ascertain its strength. It was strong. It would take a while to escape. The book was fine with that. It would carefully absorb the chest and then everything else.

  Over the centuries, the scenario repeated itself. At first the book would behave until it had reached a significantly powerful essence source to absorb. However, as the book gained in knowledge and power, the size of the area he could absorb grew. Unfortunately, this meant it would be longer until he could find a new set of legs to carry him to his next victims.

  The increased power and knowledge came with increased self-awareness. And increased self-awareness came with increasingly tormenting boredom while he waited for a new set of legs. The book began being more selective in its consumption. Not absorbing too much from any one place as his legs moved him from planet to planet. The book became capable of communicating with his legs. He was able to force his desires upon his legs.

  He went through several sets of increasingly powerful legs that he coerced into completely following the book’s orders. Unfortunately, it all ended one day when the book used his legs to walk him into a massive library on a powerful planet.

  The book had barely began absorbing knowledge when a mighty being appeared and destroyed his legs. The book tried to absorb the powerful newcomer, but he couldn’t. The being wielded powers that the book could not counter.

  The book was sealed multiple ways and abandoned deep underground on a rock floating through the void of space. Centuries later the book felt a tingle, then a pull, and he realized he was being moved. The book’s senses blacked out and he was no longer aware.

  The book slowly regained awareness. The powers that had bound him for so long were gone. He stretched his awareness and realized he was underground. Not far from the surface. The essence felt fresh, but was oddly structured. Almost mechanical in nature.

  The book waited. He would find a new set of legs and be much more cautious in his approach this time. As time passed, the book attempted to adopt various animals to be his legs, but they all ended up nibbling on his cover until the book became annoyed and absorbed them.

  Then one day he heard a metallic ting and felt essence approaching. It was a human. Weak. He heard the human speak. No, not speak. He was singing. Poorly tuned and without rhythm, but enthusiastic. A man without a care in the world.

  The book released a tiny amount of aura to attract the human. The horrific singing became clearer as the human shuffled closer. The book cleaned itself and made its aura feel as inviting as possible. An aura that promised great power and vast knowledge.

  “Country roads. Take me home. To a place that I belong.”

  The human reached him and bent over picking the book up. The book sprang. It entered the human’s mind and immediately screamed. Images were flying around growing and fading. Scenes similar to what one could view from a memory crystal played for a few seconds and disappeared. New scenes were created and reversed, changed, and played again slightly differently. Music was playing. Several songs at once. Ideas came and went. Memories rose and disappeared.

  Most frightening of all was a solid presence at the center of the chaos. The book pulled back from that unshakeable presence as it concentrated on him. The book scrambled through the chaotic maze of the human’s mind trying to escape.

  “Well. You’re a naughty book aren’t you.” a voice said.

  The book clawed its way out of the human’s mind. But it was too late. The human opened the book and read the only words permanently written in it. “Lorem Ipsum.” The book tried to absorb the human, but he was bound. The human had taken him as a familiar.

  “Bad Book. Behave or old Jim will have to show you what happens to naughty books that don’t obey their master.