"Wait a second, why should I do this in the dungeon? That seems like a bad idea..." Tony protested. "I'll be out cold and you think the dungeon won't capitalize on that?"

  "It'll seem like a lot longer than it'll actually be. Five actual minutes, tops," Esava answered. "Now swipe right and get to updating."

  Tony furrowed his brow. This didn't seem like the best course of action. He was plenty strong as it was. With the ease that the Team had ripped through that initial swarm of Rotten, he probably could have handled it on his own without using Eidolon to guard himself. Beyond that, he had no idea what this "update" would even do to him.

  He held up a hand to forestall Esava's continued insistence. She had clearly read the skeptical expression on his face and was about to say or demand that he continue with the update.

  "What does the update even do? What has it done for you guys?" he asked.

  "I got some new racial bumps to my attributes and some better scaling for my lightning talents, which already ripped pretty hard," Jak offered.

  "Pretty much the same for me. I actually got more points per level overall from my class advancements," Vixie agreed.

  Vasna simply nodded along with an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, cause he needs to get any stronger," she jabbed.

  Esava shrugged. "I'm sure that with such a hefty update, it'll be well worth it for you. Now quit stalling, it's been five minutes already and you could have been done."

  "Fine," Tony answered and selected the affirmative option.

  It felt like all of his bones lost their structure with how immediately and comically he toppled toward the floor. Ever the wingman, Maximus swooped his snout under Tony's collapsing form, caught him, and deftly flipped his master onto his broad furry back.

  Tony was surrounded by heat and pressure. Something pressed against his form... at least as he could perceive it... from all sides. As his eyes adjusted, he found himself face-to-face with a great wyrm. His hands, at least the hands that he felt connected to, were clamped tightly around the snout and bottom jaw of the long reptilian beast that was trying to both crush him and devour him at the same time. The smell of hot flame was thick in the air as the thing had just tried to roast him but was somehow, unsuccessful.

  Tony looked down at himself. His arms were large, almost as big around as the serpent that entangled him, the body that he saw was impressive, but certainly not his own. As the landscape around him cleared of smoke, he saw people, small and far away, scattering away from the battle between himself and the wyrm. The dragon itself was a strange thing to behold. It had a body like a snake's with a large central ridge that ran down its length and spikes that grew out on either side in pairs that ran alongside the ridge, except where there was one singular wing that stretched away from its body at an unnatural angle. It's maw was more akin to a beak than a mouth, but there were still several rows of razor sharp teeth, each the size of one of the small people below.

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  It was then that Tony realized, the people below him weren't tiny... he was, in fact, titanic in size. Large enough to be encircled by the strange dragon and to hold it back barehanded, his left hand on its snout and right on its lower jaw. He also realized that the only piece of clothing he wore was similar to a kilt, but colored and tailored for someone from a desert tribe moreso than what he had been taught about Europe.

  "Vahagn Vishapakagh... dragon-reaper--" the thing spat before another tremendous gout of flame washed over him.

  It didn't bother him. If anything it was pleasant, burning away the grime and blood from the fight so far. His beard and long, dark hair soaked up the heat and burst into solar flame.

  Beard? My hair's not that long... is it? Tony thought.

  "Where is your bravado now? Reaper--" the thing roared again.

  Tony found the beat's voice grating... annoying... so he did the first thing that came to mind as it started to inhale, preparing another blast of flame. He released its lower jaw, pulled back his right hand and slammed it into the spot where he best guessed the thing's throat was. The impact sounded like a thunderclap. As the thing choked, Tony slammed his left palm down as he brought his right up to meet it, clapping its jaws violently together as the flame roiling in its throat spasmed out of control.

  Jets of flame poured through its nostrils, scorching the sands below. Tony wrenched the thing's head to the side and up, spraying his frame with flame, but sparing the people below. The beast freed its maw and roared its agony into the sky.

  Something stirred within Tony's chest... like a faint itch right behind his heart that roiled into indignation. How dare this beast cry into the sky... it may have a wing, but he was the God of the sun, God of thunder, of vengeance, and kings. Who was this nameless thing to taint the sky with its mewling cry.

  What the fuck? Tony thought. Those feelings... titles... weren't his. They were Vahagn's... whoever that was...

  Tony leaned into the moment. As strange as the vision was, as foreign as it felt, there was still a direction to it... like a story he had a hard time remembering the end to, but remembered part of where to go to get there. He snatched the strange dragon by the throat with his powerful left hand and roared back at it... a booming cry that chased the pitiful wails of the beast away and shook the very heavens. In his right, Tony gathered the essences of the sun, lightning, and vengeance into a swirling maelstrom of gold, blue, white, and crimson destructive energy... just when he felt he'd lose control of the roiling mass of destruction, he lashed out and cleaved his fist, wreathed in baleful tempest of his domain, straight through the beast's skull.

  "Ah!" Tony said as he sat straight upward.

  He was no longer on Maximus's back, but on the floor of The Infernal Machine down some side corridor. Esava's face was just inches from his own and cast in a shimmering golden light... which Tony learned was coming from him.

  "Uh... hi?" Tony said, "Come here often?"

  Clueless Flirt: Critical Success!

  Esava smiled, letting her teeth linger on her bottom lip for a moment. "I could--" she started, but Tony pushing himself to his feet cut her off.

  He looked down at the group and met Jak's gaze. Had he gotten taller? He studied himself for a moment. He felt good, better than he had when he'd conked out after "updating." Something was definitely different about him... besides the fact that he was limbed in crackling molten sunlight.

  "What the..." he trailed off, "Character Sheet."