Gramma.

  I used to feel rather indifferent when it came to the citizens of the city. They were just another nameless crowd of people that I never bothered to care about. But ever since Melton brought me out, I've only felt more confused than ever. From Melton himself, the librarian that taught me how to use a library card, to the kind stall owners that handed out consolation prizes and free food to "the pretty lady in white", just because they could. Outside the few religious folk I meet within the confines of that room, I've come to realise that the people here are no different than those back home in Esau.

  And suddenly, when I imagine those faces in a burning building as the city crumbles to dust, my chest tightens and cries out in agony, and I find myself drowning in doubt with every step I take, Gramms.

  I know why you have come back to this place. I know why Father's friends want to bring down Raul. I know why you always insisted on learning why the scripture says what it says, instead of blindly reading along. I know why I was born; to create a spark that breeds the perfect grounds for war. I saw everything when I held your face as you slept, many years ago.

  But I don't understand why a nation of people has to suffer just for your own revenge. I don't understand why I must lie to so many people to make faithful citizens drive pikes into each other because they cannot trust one another.

  Why must Raul burn? Why must the innocent, honest citizens suffer for the sins of the guilty?

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  I can't bring myself to lie any longer, Gramma. I cannot, in good conscience, cause the downfall of a nation of other innocent people because you wanted revenge for one man's sins.

  It took me until Melton asked me at the library to realise I didn't even know what I wanted to do after I left Raul. I was content with just following your every order, just to see where it would lead me. It's far too late for me to decide what I want to do in the future I don't exist in, but I can still decide on what I do now.

  So I'll be taking matters into my own hands. I've decided to make sure the few faces precious to me can keep smiling, even without me around. With whatever little power I still hold, I'll write a happier ending for myself and others than that depressing tragedy you wanted for yourself.

  Melton knows the truth. He shall share it to his superior and it will destroy their ploy as it stands. They will make short work of this foothold in Raul.

  And then.

  And then you and I will perish alongside the den. I am an accomplice to a grave, serious crime after all. I was never long for this world anyways, but as much as I would like to say that I would die without so much as a worry in my mind, that would make me a liar.

  I'm sorry, Melton. I won't be able to return that book about ancient knights, nor will I be able to come with you to the library again. Guess who's gone ahead and broken our promise... Now it's my turn to swallow a thousand needles this time. Hopefully you can return that book in my stead once I'm gone.

  I can see it on his face already; that face when he holds my cold lifeless body as he sprints to my side. Just the mere thought of his face as he grieves my death almost makes me want to withdraw my command, just so he never has to make such a face ever again. But there's no turning back the clock, and I've come too far to stop.

  Forgive me, dear. I'm so sorry.

  But liars deserve to die, after all.