The apology she had been rehearsing for two years. He was just glad she'd finally found her way to the show.

  Nora: hey can I ask you something kind of big

  Cal: Of course. What's up?

  Nora: okay so I've been in therapy for a few months and one of the things that keeps coming up is that I'm a "chronic avoider" which is apparently relevant here

  Cal: I mean. Yeah. A little.

  Nora: wow okay

  Cal: With love.

  Nora: I know I know I've been meaning to bring this up for so long and I keep putting it off I think about it more than you'd know

  Cal: I figured you might get here eventually. I never wanted to push.

  Nora: and that was kind of the problem actually you've been so normal every time I've seen you and I could never tell if that was you forgiving me or you just not wanting to make it weird and I kept waiting for an opening that never came

  Cal: Not everyone's going to engage with something like this, and I've made my peace. Honestly.

  Nora: see that's exactly it you're so gracious about everything and I've just been standing here with two years of shame

  Cal: That's a longer time to carry something than you needed to.

  Nora: I kept telling myself the window had closed like at this point saying anything would just make it worse

  Cal: It's not too late. What I put into this isn't going anywhere — it'll still be there whenever you're ready.

  Nora: I keep thinking about what that day meant to you how much you cared about every single part of it and I just wasn't there

  Cal: ?? [Liked "I just wasn't there"]

  Cal: What you're doing right now takes more than staying quiet. I want you to know that.

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  Nora: it's completely on me I don't have an excuse that makes it okay

  Cal: I genuinely do not need five stars. I'm just glad you finally felt comfortable saying something.

  Nora: ...

  Nora: sorry five stars?

  Cal: Just an expression. I'm not keeping score.

  Nora: okay sorry I'm just emotional I think

  Cal: That makes sense. You've been sitting on this a while.

  Nora: you've been so patient with me I don't know that I would be

  Cal: You didn't have to do this today. But you did. That's the part I'll remember.

  Nora: I've run this conversation in my head so many times it never went this well

  Cal: I'm glad it did.

  Nora: I really am sorry, Cal I know that doesn't fix it but I needed you to hear it

  Cal: I hear it. Knowing you said it means more than you probably think.

  Nora: okay now I'm actually crying

  Cal: Don't cry. We're fine.

  Nora: okay one more thing and then I'll stop what did you think I was apologizing for

  Cal: ...Are we not talking about the podcast?

  Nora: your podcast.

  Cal: You'd never mentioned it. Not once. And then this whole conversation out of nowhere — I just assumed.

  Nora: Cal I'm talking about your wedding.

  Cal: My wedding.

  Nora: yes.

  Cal: Nora. I thought you were there. I have a very clear memory of talking to you by the bar.

  Nora: that wasn't me

  Cal: I've told that story. About us by the bar.

  Nora: Cal

  Cal: Then who did I spend forty minutes telling about our honeymoon itinerary.

  Nora: probably Aunt Linda she has a coat exactly like mine

  Cal: ...

  Cal: I built an entire memory.

  Nora: I know.

  Cal: There are photographs. Of me at my own wedding believing I was talking to my sister.

  Nora: I know, Cal I'm so sorry ...for both things now

  Cal: ...

  Cal: Did you at least listen to any episodes while you weren't there?

  Nora: ?? [Liked "Did you at least listen to any episodes while you weren't there?"]

  Read 8:47 PM