9 – To the Gates of Hell

  Tony watched Addie’s eyes unfocus as she watched the vid. He had a sick, sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach, not because of her watching the vid, but because of how beautifully he’d fucked up everything good in his life. Part of him refused to believe it, refused to acknowledge that Addie could truly be upset with him. She loved him, right? She’d known what he was when she fell for him. She’d known he was a killer, a mercenary, a guy whose actions often came before his thoughts were fully formed.

  The thing was, he hadn’t been thoughtless when he’d decided to slip out in the empty, quiet hours of the night. He’d thought it through; he’d very consciously decided that he’d risk blowing things up with Addie if it meant keeping her safe. Yet here he was, sitting with her, spilling his guts, waiting for her to cast judgment on him. A voice in the back of his mind had been saying something to him the whole time, something he’d been ignoring, but now, in the silence created by Addie’s attention on the vid, he listened to it.

  You wanted to get caught.

  It was a simple statement, but loaded with meaning. The fact was, Tony knew how to be a hell of a lot sneakier than that. He was a hell of a lot faster, too. Why had he walked so slowly? Why hadn’t he had Nora prep a cab to be waiting? He’d told himself that he wanted to walk in the cold air for a while. He’d let himself believe that he wanted to clear his head and come to terms with the fact that he was leaving Addie behind. He’d known it was bullshit. He’d hoped, whether he’d admit it or not, that Addie would wake up—that she’d come after him.

  Coward.

  The voice was harsh, but it was right. If he really loved Addie—if he really wanted to keep her safe—he would have been a ghost. He would have been gone without a trace. He would have had Nora spoof his location, not just turn it off. He would have run, not strolled. He would have been in a cab in seconds.

  Coward!

  “So, Eric didn’t want to betray you?” Addie asked, turning to look at him and instantly frowning when she saw something there she didn’t like. “You had better stop that, Tony!”

  He focused on her bright, angry blue eyes. “What?”

  “You’re beating yourself up! You’re actually angry that you let me stop you!”

  “Well, you saw the goddamn vid!” Her earlier words finally registered, and he shook his head, clenching his fist. “Doesn’t matter what Eric wanted—what he wants. Jen’s keeping tabs, and she’s the one to worry about. She’s the one who put lead in the brain of the last woman I cared about!” He squeezed his eyes shut as images of Emily’s broken, bloody face flashed through his mind’s eye. He shifted that inner viewpoint toward Jen’s smoking, chromed-out pistol—her stinger, her judge, jury, and executioner—and his expression shifted from despair to hard anger.

  Addie’s hand, still cold from outside, gripped his, snapping him out of it. He looked at her small fingers curling around the side of his palm, tucked into the crook of his thumb. “Does that mean you don’t hate me?”

  “I love you, idiot! You think I’d be angry if someone I hated did something stupid?”

  “Is it stupid not to want to see you hurt?”

  “You tell me. Maybe this is a crazy idea, but how about putting yourself in my shoes? How would you feel if I slipped out in the night to go deal with Cross Corp?”

  “It’s not the same—” he started to say, but she cut him off.

  “Why not? Because they were your enemies first? Well, they’re mine now, too, and I’m perfectly capable of doing some damage, whether you want to admit it or not!”

  “Ads, don’t you see? I… I’d die if Jen got to you. It would ruin me.”

  “And me, Tony? How do you think I’d feel if you went and got yourself killed?”

  Tony shook his head, trying to form the right words, trying to find a way to express what he was feeling. “It’s different,” was all he could come up with.

  “How?” she asked, letting go of his hand and huffing angrily as she looked away.

  Tony stared at her for a long time, and she studiously refused to look at him. He opened his mouth several times, trying again to put his feelings into words. Finally, after several false starts and after seeing her last shreds of patience begin to unravel, he just let the words flow off his tongue without trying to filter them. “It’s different because this is all my fault. This is my past coming to haunt us! Jen’s my problem, and if she got to you, that would be the same as if I killed you myself! Don’t you see? This isn’t a problem we found together. This is a problem I brought with me. Every time Jen’s fucking specter floats through my mind, and I’m with you, all I can do is picture you lying bloody on the booth beside me, and it breaks me.”

  Addie turned to look at him while he spoke, and he saw some of the resistance in her eyes start to crumble. He saw an inkling of understanding—not acceptance or approval, but maybe just a little shared perspective. “That’s what happened? You never go into detail, but…” She trailed off and, once again, reached out to grasp his hand.

  “Yeah, Ads. That’s what happened.” He groaned, shaking his head. “I know Jen is looking to get eyes on me. I know she has connections that would allow her team to access drone footage from other corps. I hoped she’d see me leave. I hoped she’d follow me and forget about you. I was gonna reach out to Eric and use him to get close again. Jen’s like a cat, and I’m an old mouse she used to play with. I was hoping she’d feel like playing again when she saw I was still kicking.”

  “And then what? You think she’d put herself in a vulnerable position with you?”

  Tony shrugged. Addie wasn’t wrong, but he’d thought about that. As much as he knew it would sting, he continued with his bluntly honest approach. “No, not at first. I figured it would take some time. I’d have to earn my way back in. I figured there was a fifty-fifty chance.”

  “Chance of what?”

  “That she’d kill me right away or keep me around to see if I was really broken, really willing to work for the woman who iced my girlfriend and tried to have me killed.”

  “So you were just gonna disappear for months or years while you worked for Cross again?”

  “No, Ads! Once I was gone, I was gonna send you an encrypted message. I figured we could stay in touch, and I could keep you updated. I thought maybe you could keep working with Beef and Glitch, and by the time I got clear…” Tony sighed, shaking his head as he trailed off.

  “Oh my gosh, Tony!” Addie groaned, exhaling explosively. Still, she kept her grip on his hand, and he took that as a win.

  He didn’t say anything more; the words weren’t there. Did it matter? She knew what he was thinking now. She knew his heart. Right? Something shifted in the air; the tension between them seemed to dissipate as they sat there in the warm van, her hand gripping his. He felt himself relaxing, the despair that he’d broken something between them fading as the seconds stretched into minutes.

  After enough time had passed that Tony felt his eyes getting heavy, and he seriously contemplated allowing himself to drift off, Addie said, “I think your plan was stupid and reckless and selfish, but I know your heart was in the right place. I know you love me, and I know you’d die for me, but you have to remember that I feel the same way. You might be able to die happy knowing I was safe, but I wouldn’t be happy. I want you, and that means I want to be involved if you’re going to be risking your neck—I want to risk mine, too.”

  If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “I get that, Ads, but—”

  “No, Tony. You need to listen to me for a while now. Your plan was half-baked and selfish, but you were kind of on the right track. The mistake you made was keeping me out of it.” She squeezed his hand. “Listen, love”—Tony’s heart rate quickened as that word slipped past her lips again—“your old corp employs tier-two operators, yeah? Well, you’re not close to that anymore. If it hasn’t registered in that thick skull of yours yet, I am. Pyroshi says he doesn’t know anyone who can fade like me. Did you hear that? Not anyone. Even the legends, the sparks people write strips about—”

  “Yeah, I know, Ads. You have a gift—”

  “So don’t be an idiot! Why would you go up against Cross without me?”

  Tony frowned, wanting to argue, but failing to find a logical response. The truth was that she was right. Going up against Cross by himself was borderline suicidal. Sure, he could perform some terrific acts of violence, but they’d have people who were just as quick, just as violent—and they’d have high-tier chrome. He might take some out, especially with the element of surprise, but… But Addie was the real deal. She wasn’t being boastful; that wasn’t in her nature. She could do stuff with Humpty; she could fade like nobody he’d ever heard of. “Fading is something, sure, I mean, even your other tricks—”

  “Abilities—”

  “Right, yeah. Of course, you’re awesome, Ads, but they’re gonna have Dust disruption fields on key areas, they’re gonna have—”

  “It won’t just be me, Tony. Let me finish, okay? I was thinking that if you really believe you can go to District One and convince Eric to stand up for you, to help you start working your way back into Jen’s good graces… I mean, if you think you can do that without getting killed right away, maybe that’s not such a bad idea. Like you said, it’ll keep me out of the crosshairs, and, meanwhile, I can start to implement the rest of the plan…”

  Tony turned his hand so he could entwine his fingers with Addie’s while she spoke, and, as she began to outline a plan that was bold, risky, and totally beyond what he was comfortable with her doing, he couldn’t help but smile. He couldn’t help feeling like the luckiest asshole who ever stepped foot in the metroplex. Addie was brave, smart, and, best of all, she was apparently willing to forgive him. She wasn’t mad that he’d been walking toward the gates of hell. She was mad that he hadn’t been planning to take her with him.

  ###

  “Nice of you to call me on this job, Ember. Easy bits.”

  Addie looked at Glitch and smiled, nodding. “Tony didn’t think I should do it on my own, but, yeah, it’s been easy so far.” She glanced over her shoulder at the cargo box with the hidden compartment at the bottom. Their payload—Doctor Katz’s daughter—was already sequestered neatly inside, buried beneath a false bottom and about a hundred kilos of equipment.

  Addie smiled, remembering how nervous she’d been when this job first came up. She’d been convinced she and Tony were going to get caught smuggling the woman through the checkpoint into the Blast. Now that Tony wasn’t along for the ride, and the bigger picture of what they were doing was so much more steeped in threat and danger, it almost seemed silly that she’d been so worried.

  Traffic was at a standstill leading up to the crossing, and she estimated they had a good twenty or thirty minutes before they reached the checkpoint. She could see the Boxer corpo-sec moving around the cars up there beneath the yellow-white bloom of the floodlights. They wore rain gear, but she could see they weren’t enthusiastic. She hoped the cold, dreary weather would work in her favor.

  Glancing at her AUI, she saw the little status feed from the cargo compartment. The temp was good, the air quality was good, and she could even see Dani’s heart rate and blood pressure. Everything seemed fine. Even so, she sent her an encrypted message:

  Addie: Hey, Dani. Everything’s going smoothly up here. We’re in line at the checkpoint, but it’s moving slowly.

  “She good?” Glitch asked, correctly guessing what Addie was doing.

  “All good.”

  “So, where is the big guy? You mentioned a big-time job—anything you can talk about?”

  “The big guy?” Addie grinned. “We talking ’bout Beef?”

  Glitch chuckled, shaking her head. “You know I don’t need you to tell me where he is. In fact, he was at my place when you called about this job. Acted kinda hurt that you didn’t call him.”

  Addie clicked her tongue, shaking her head. “Spilling details about your jobs with him already? What are you, married?”

  Glitch looked at her through her pink visor, her eyebrows lifting. “Oh, hey, I didn’t think you’d mind. He wasn’t really mad—”

  “Nah,” Addie said with a smile, waving her hand dismissively, “I was just kidding. Beef’s part of the Dog Pack, right?” When Glitch relaxed, leaning back in her seat, she added, “Besides, Beef’s great, but I picked you for another reason. I figured this would be a good time for us to chat about something else. Something big.” To punctuate her statement, she reached up to the black box in the van’s ceiling and tapped the power switch.

  As static flickered across her vision, Glitch cleared her throat and glanced toward the checkpoint. “You won’t want that jammer on when we get up there…”

  “I know. We’ll turn it off when we get close. I’m just being extra careful right now ’cause what I’m about to talk about could get me killed.” That got Glitch’s attention, and she sat up straight, turning her seat to face Addie more squarely. “I mean it, sis, you can’t mention this conversation even in vague terms. If certain people hear I’m planning something big, that’ll be enough to put a hit on me.”

  “Shit, Ads”—she didn’t try to correct her use of Addie’s real name—“you sure I want to hear about this?”

  Addie shrugged. “Things are going to be changing for me and Tony soon. Maybe Beef, too. We’re going to be jumping some tiers. You won’t get another opportunity like this, not ’til you’re tier three or maybe two.”

  Glitch held out her left hand, and Addie watched it quiver. “You’re giving me the shakes. I’m excited, but I’m also full of dread. You know how many runner serials start out with a speech like that? You know how many runners get iced trying to do that big score that’s gonna jump ’em up into the big leagues?”

  Addie smiled, nodding. “It’s not lost on me, Glitch. I have a whole new level of respect for those crazy edgerunners and cyberpunks who step up to bat when their chance to hit a home-run comes up. Hah! Listen to me with the baseball metaphors! Tony would be proud.”

  Glitch lowered her visor, revealing colorful green irises that darkened toward purple on the edges—another upgrade? “You can call me Alice. I mean, we’re using your real names. I figure I can trust you by now.”

  Addie smiled, looking into Glitch’s eyes. “That means a lot. It’s a pretty name, too. Hey! We’re ‘A’ sisters.”

  Glitch nodded. “Adelaide and Alice. Quite a team!”

  “Anyway, so we’re clear, you can’t talk about this stuff, not with anyone—even Beef.”

  Glitch frowned and folded her arms, maybe unconsciously. “You’re not bringing him in on this?”

  “Oh, I’m going to try, but not right away. There are some things to work out before that. For that matter, sis, I’m not gonna tell you the whole story yet. I figure it’s safer for everyone if we keep things kind of…compartmentalized.”

  Glitch exhaled slowly, nodding as she relaxed and lowered her arms. “That’s smart. Real smart.”

  “So, let me start by asking you something. What separates you from a tier-two netjacker?”

  “Serious?”

  “Like a Dust virus.”

  “Fine, well, it’s mostly gear. Wetware”—she tapped the top of her skull with her knuckles—“and hardware. Software, too. My best daemons are considered tier-five.”

  “And do you have to write your own software?”

  “Huh? No way! I mean, you can, but most people buy custom gear from certain…shadow-nets. I’ve got hookups, but tier-two soft would cost a pretty pile of bits, and I don’t have the hardware to run it.” She shrugged.

  “Perfect,” Addie said, smiling. “So, the only thing keeping you from taking on a major corp, say one located in New ’Hattan, is your gear, yeah?”

  “Well, gear, and my sanity. I’m not an idiot…” She trailed off, looking at Addie with wide eyes. “You’re serious?”

  Addie didn’t respond to the question but asked, “If I got you the gear you need, do you think you could move against a corp like that? I mean, in a support capacity. You know, cracking their local-net, intercepting comms—that kind of thing.”

  Glitch stared at her for several seconds, slowly shaking her head. “I mean, yeah, in theory. We’re talking a million bits worth of gear, though, Ads. I’d need a massive upgrade to my data port, and I’d need, like, top-end wetware—coprocessors and a preem AI. I mean, at that tier, it’s best to go old-school—one of the pre-war AIs. I’d need an immersion tank, or I’d fry my gray matter.” Again, she tapped her skull. “I’d need a new net interface with a proper masking router and, if you want things to go right, a direct connection to the network of the corp in question.”

  “Does it have to be a hardline, or could I plug an encrypted router into their server room or something?”

  Glitch leaned forward and grabbed Addie’s wrist, squeezing. “Are you being serious right now? Like, Ads, if you could hook me up with a million bits worth of gear, why don’t you just hire someone to handle this job? That’s an obscene payday…”

  Addie shrugged. “It all comes down to trust, I guess—trust and the need to lie low. Besides, we like you, Alice, and we want to bring you with us if we climb a few tiers.” Addie’s grin widened. “Anyway, I won’t be buying this gear for you.” She leaned back in her seat, watching Glitch’s reaction. “I’m going to steal it.”